maybe if i die i will finally forget about you
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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JBB: An Artblog!

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@supersaltyvoid
maybe if i die i will finally forget about you
he’s so mean but i can’t stop letting my world revolve around him
he is so mean to me
he lets me do so much for him
and he doesn’t do a thing in return
he grabbed my stomach and told me i was fat
he called me disgusting
he said no one likes me
he said i breathe loud
he said i smell
he said i’m a bitch
he said i’m a psycho
he said every mean thing he could say
but there i am begging him to forgive me?
he hit me
and i’m apologizing.
he hit me
he told me it’s my fault
why do i believe him
i know i feel it bad when i want to make art
do you have or could you make a webweave about nostalgia? specifically of the yearning and grieving variety. it's killing me that all of it is gone forever, that all that remains is an echo, and that it will only keep fading. big yikes.
@robertszombie \\ jordanna kalman \\ jordanna kalman \\ @wearemadeofstardust0 \\ david foster wallace \\ jordanna kalman \\ okechukwu nzelu here again now \\ jordanna kalman \\ jordanna kalman \\ jordanna kalman
kofi
the most important fact about me is i have never let go of or gotten over anything in my entire life
I am sick of holding!!! I fear all I've ever held I've held too tightly!!! When is it my turn to be held!!!
well i thought this was the one that’d last. i guess it’s time to find someone else to care about me. i wonder how long it’ll take for me to ruin it.
well there goes another person admitting they lied.
it’s a bit funny how every time they said they care and that they love me, i tell them that no one ever means it.
they promise they are different. they mean it.
but in the end they weren’t different.
and what’s even funnier is that i always believe them.
It hurts like hell when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don’t care at all.
i just saw a photo of me at the age of 12
she is so young
the acne, the braces smile, the natural hair
how was she so sad?
how badly i want to hug her.
why was she hurting in the way i hurt now?
how can she been starving
how can she be struggling with the self hatred
she is so young
too young
Ashes of regret
Stale upon my tongue
As I
Suffer more reminders
The very air seems to pluck the thoughts from my brain
Only to deliver more torment
With responses I did not ask for
Life seems
Excruciating
And
Uncomfortable
From the bottom of this hole I dug myself into
Where I cannot hear my mother cry as she prays for me each night
Tell me i'm losing my mind
It's better than this experienced reality
Psychotically induced every passing moment
Oh God
To just be crazy
Would be a small mercy
Would it not?
No matter
I have no more time for contemplation
As the needles penetrate my skin
And suck the blood
Like
Leeches in stagnant pools
- G.M
how does my pain feel so massive
never-ending and suffocating
but you will never feel it
i don’t know your pain or another’s pain
we’re all just full of grief and loss and sadness
we’re all drowning simultaneously
unaware
it’s tough
its honestly the worst
coming to the realization
i’m the reason.
everything that happened
everyone that hurt me
everything that went wrong
it was all my fault.
it’s not self pity, it’s finally seeing
and i wish i could close my eyes