MARTYR COMPLEX @supreme-kais - Tumblr Blog

Every few months one must cry over Ego Renegade Boy again it's good for you

#lucy yaps #to lead a lie or watch your daughter die as if the choice could end with me alive...#fuck man

my personal hc is that ivan’s best dreams are him crawling into till’s veins and ceasing to exist and ivan’s worst nightmares are actually having sex with till. does that make sense

paragayyy

this was brought about by my own meta post abt ivan’s bday art actually, bc the karaoke scene in round 6 strongly implies that they were sexually assaulted, but where till fights back ivan just accepts it. which has SO many interesting implications, but it also got me thinking like… we know ivan has canonically had r18 thoughts about till before, and he was the one who found till after the karaoke scene in round 6, so i can’t help but wonder… given how little they know about human sexuality, i think ivan’s r18 fantasies would actually be his nightmares.

he already thinks of himself and his feelings as twisted and wrong, and while we might extrapolate that to place it in the context of the “predatory gay man” trope and deconstructing that, in and of itself ivan doesn’t think his feelings are wrong because he’s attracted to men. he thinks they’re wrong because they’re intense, obsessive and possessive, nothing like how his peers show their affection. and him having r18 fantasies would only reinforce that.

and so given the karaoke scene and all its disturbing implications, i wonder if, in ivan’s eyes, having those r18 fantasies would make him no better than a segyein. after all, that’s probably their only knowledge/experience of sexual encounters. as far as we know, they seem to understand human sexuality only on a biological level (they don’t know what kissing means, and the true face comic where the guy says men and women can’t be friends bc it leads to mating).

which is why i think that ivan’s worst nightmares would be actually having sex with till. who tops/bottoms is irrelevant here, it’s just the act of touching him in that manner that makes it so disturbing for him.

so then his best dreams are crawling into till’s veins and ceasing to exist/anything along that vein (ha) because well. paratise exists. i don’t think i need to explain further

#as #this one is getting me #ivan <3

calewdstra

let the ancient old man have a little whimsy

#dol

maboroshiiro

Gwylan 🍃💚 | Bday gift for a friend :D ~

But Not Kiss

- Faye Webster

#dol #i love him so much he makes me mad

meganekune

Witch & Coffee 🧙☕️

#dol

thelthering

“Soft bad end” and its me getting to live with my emotionally unstable witchy fox boyfriend in his semiconscious castle-shaped house, with those weird mannequins, a never ending wardrobe and being pampered and taken care of everyday

#dol #literally no downsides #except maybe his cooking #thats ok i can cook