Sarah

let me she/them tiddies

[animentality]

[verysadpaper]

small victories people, they can get you through a lot!

[dongboss]

Needed to get this off my chest to someone. But. I think someone should make Queen Elizabeth smoke a joint that's laced with weed so she dies. Literally foolproof

you want to give her a joint. laced. with weed. a joint. with weed in it. you want to give her a joint. and she looks at it and says. "oh a diet joint" and she goes to smoke it but then it's. it's weed. and she hates it? I think? and she dies. from the weed?

[notahorseindisguise]

everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet

[clovers-practice]

Forever thinking about how Mary conceived via the holy spirit, which is a historically feminine entity. Lots of untapped potential for Something here. Not sure what yet

[ohholydyke]

Lesbianism strikes again

[spaghetti-machete]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Wait until you find out she conceived through the ear, like a weasel

[impossiblepackage]

like a what.

[cupcakemyducktape]

Rocky finding cat memes to compare his leaky space blobs to.

Also detailed image of simon after being dropped in the soup :)

[chilewithcarnage]

[lvmimis]

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[ivyroseiris]

I think leftists need to refer to the United States as a slave state more often. It has one of the highest prison populations per capita of any nation, slavery is legal as punishment for a crime, and Black people are disproportionately imprisoned and given longer sentences. The prison industrial complex is modern-day slavery

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[eggsoups]

Bloodymary swap au

[mousegirlheart]

incredibly funny to see paranormal investigators whip out the EMF detector. babes, we've bathed our world in EMF. using an EMF detector to find a ghost today is like using a metal detector to try and find wood. it's just not happening.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[rhinco]

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

[energyprison]

Im sorry i know its bad to post screenshots of ads but unemployedprofessors.com is really getting me

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[impossiblepackage]

women hate my hysterectomy penis