ok

I'm Tory. I used to write. I'm one very paranoid android.

[awwww-cute]

trial period to see if our older dog get’s along w/ new pup from rescue

[thecutestofthecute]

“He’s mine. Get your own puppy.”

[mozzabellastick-deactivated2025]

having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden

[ladygalra]

[temporarywhales-deactivated2018]

This sign has been up by my house for weeks and curiosity got the better of me so i texted the number and:

[alacerlucifer]

[electricbreeze]

Schrödinger’s boys

[klubbhead]

FUCK

[alphahoennomega]

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

[crystalsoulslayer]

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

[6qubed]

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

[shou7]

[meladoodle]

I was doing face painting for kids and this 5 year old boy wanted the comedy and tragedy masks, one on each cheek. I was like “that’s different but ok!” and did them. Then later I saw he had smudged one of them and I was like “oh no your comedy mask is all smudged!” and he said “that’s because everything is a tragedy” and i am still stressed out about this kid who knows far too much

[radiant-archsage-deactivated201]

Nintendo: Now Mario can turn into anything!

Fans: Wow what a cool and original idea!

Kirby:

[rulesofthirds]

[florenctts]

[myk0119]

[nevaehtyler]

This incredibly pure and important 

[khaliflow3r]

MY FRAGILE HEART

[insertepithethere]

😩💜

[dixonette1013]

If I ever not reblog this assume I’m dead

[stellarlars-deactivated20180527]

tfw you’re on mobile and have to work hard against auto-correct to keep your lowercase aesthetic™

[flannelsandjeans-deactivated202]

we can only sext if we roleplay as key figures from the cold war 

[binches-deactivated20220521]

im gorbachev who wants to be reagan

[golf-course-tragedy]

Mr. gorbachev tear down those pants

[anti-transphobia]

Just a reminder that only SOME demons are allowed in lgbt+ spaces.

The Babadook ✔ Terfs ❌

[opencasketsurgery-deactivated20]

Moral compass. Which one are you?

Art by me, please do not repost!

[babelady]

how to become a mother

1) go outside 2) find pigeon 3) grab 4) congratulation

[portmanteaurian]

Woman says pricey vitamin bottle from Shoppers Drug Mart was filled with dried pasta - CityNews

A health-conscious mom and daughter say they purchased an expensive vitamin product at a Toronto Shoppers Drug Mart, only to find the bottle filled with dry penne pasta. Anna Bauer-Ross says she bought the bottle of Greens+ capsules on Tuesday from the Shoppers at Spadina Road and Dupont Street for a total of $50.81. When …

Bauer-Ross headed back to the Shoppers the next day with her receipt and says the manager offered a full refund, or exchange. She accepted an exchange under the condition that she could open the bottle in the store. When she did, she says it was also filled with pasta.

The flummoxed store manager then snatched a third bottle off the shelf and popped the cap, only to find more dried penne. A fourth bottle yielded a similar result.

[gwenfrankenstien]

ive been laughing uncontrollably about this story for a good five minutes or so

[onemillionspiders]

you know at first the manager’s just thinking she took out the pills and added the penne, and when she opened the second bottle in the store his mind just went 

it wasn’t her?