In 2019, we will heal ⭐
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@survivingendo
In 2019, we will heal ⭐
“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.”
— Unknown (via misjudgments)
Night Time
I’m at home right now. At the same time im typing this post i am trying to keep my 5 month old entertained and away from tears. There is dirty dishes in my sink. I have a pile of laundry to do. The coffee table needs to wiped down. I have all of these tasks that need be done by tonight because tomorrow I have different task oriented goals. This is where I sit and contemplate what goes and what stays and what is even possible while the baby is awake and easily moved to tears. I wish I knew the way to easily complete these tasks sometimes. I know though that my main goal is and always will be to make my son happy, even if the chores aren’t done. I am so lucky to be able to even post about having a baby that all of this mess is a blessing.
So I haven't posted in a long time. I know you all probably think I forgot about this. So after my last post I never started my period. I went to the doctor to see what was going on and found out I was pregnant. I had a long beautiful pregnancy that only had some complications but I would it all over again. My son was born on April 18, 2018 and is the light of my life. I can't tell you how blessed and lucky I feel. We have such an amazing bond. I fought in order to create him. I begged everyday to be his mother. Now I can say I am a mom. I am a mom to the most loving beautiful baby boy. I am so thankful he chose me to be him momma.
Cacthing Up
I would like to say sorry for not posting everyday like i wanted to ive been very busy. I got a new job and became a manager and i also had surgery on June 23rd. My surgery went well. They used a new device on my endometriosis called a J-Plasma. It basically can go over all of my organs without hurting them in the process. The recovery wasnt as bad as my last i was up and walking the same day. I did tear some internal souchers but that was because i was stubborn and wanted my car to be clean. Im not proud of it at all. Other than that i have only had a couple of things go wrong. I have had a major cyst on my right ovary again, kidney stones, and i still havent started my period. That last part is super frustrating because i need my period to start my progesterone again. I have taken pregnancy tests and trust me i am not pregnant. I wish my body would just cooperate. Well I hope everyone is well just thought i would say hi and that i am still here.
Selfish or not don't say sorry for your chronic pain.
So today as I was scrolling Facebook I came across an article about a husband and wife. The wife had a condition that was slowly making her life very hard and the husband was very helpful etc. The part that had me frustrated was the fact that in the letter to her husband she apologizes to her husband for making his life difficult because of her issue. You shouldn't be apolozing for how your illness makes life hard on others. I guess in a certain sense yes I feel bad for making everyone's life around me more complicated. BUT I will not apologize for MY chronic pain causing you pain. Your not going through half of what I am so I'm not going to tell you sorry for dealing with it. Yes this whole post might be selfish but I feel like it might have to be.
I AM strong, but fuck I’m exhausted.
Spoonie fashion problems. I can’t remember the last time I wore jeans :’)
My style now is hobo meets girly girl. Leggings, aladdin pants, sweaters, cardigans and flowy skirts in all lengths. My haircare routine is washing it once a week and brushing it whenever I do need to leave the house. I can’t bother with make up at all so I don’t own any.
Anyone else who’s style has completely changed since getting sick?
Making new Spoonie friends like
For those of you who don’t have enough spoons.
Now available as stickers on redbubble and charms and prints on etsy!