Willard!

they/them “political satire became irrelevant when Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize” - Tom Lehrer Header image is by @cursedtrekedits

[partywithponies]

I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol

[partywithponies]

"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

[livethrushit]

[liebelesbe]

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

[ravioliet]

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

[aggot]

everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone

[pa-tr0-clus]

Star Trek has spent sixty years queerbaiting the same two dudes and I for one will never get tired of it

[anewstartrekfan]

I don’t think any other queerbait gets as close as these two

[humiliationvictim]

Minecraft caves are so dark bro…

[milf--adjacent]

Let the historical record show that Mr. Beast was entirely ignorable if you were just like doing literally anything else. I've been on youtube as long as it's been around and I've never been recommended a video by him. I see him in passing as a meme. I thought he was a made up joke, a caricature of bad youtuber content miners until someone I trust confirmed his existence to me in late 2025.

[armengoldira]

The Panama Canal

[armengoldira]

The Panama Canal

[ryebreadgf]

so many ppl on tiktok will be like 'look at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringe' and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby that's what happens when u don't have ur own sense of style

[twofingerswhiskey]

got called “omg vintage” by a secretary in training at the dentist’s office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. ma’am i bought that in 2016

[unpatchedglitch]

this is WILD you can't just leave this in the tags lmaoo

[twofingerswhiskey]

(cw: adult story below)

okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD. 

so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.

so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something

also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao

and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.

and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways

the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”

so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!

and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.” 

and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID

also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny

[ramranchcowboycocks69]

[historianoftumbles]

What was this post about again??

[autisticexpression]

Fashion I believe.

[partywithponies]

Fascinating how what's considered feminine and what's considered masculine can change over time. The rebranding of being a horse girl into being a stereotypical feminine girly trait needs to be studied.

[partywithponies]

Look at classic children's novels. As recently as the 50s and early 60s, being obsessed with horses as a girl was depicted as strange and tomboyish, and the very concept of being obsessed with horses from early childhood and loving toy horses and desperately wanting your own horse being a "little girl thing" and not a "little boy thing" would send someone from the 1800s and earlier into a coma.

[partywithponies]

There's maybe a point to be made here somewhere about how when keeping and riding horses stopped being necessary to the functioning of society and became a more "frivolous" thing, it was rapidly rebranded as silly and girly and for women, but what do I know.

[dizzyghoast]

i wrote a paper in my masculinity studies class in college about this exact phenomenon, specifically about how high heeled shoes started as a practical way for Persian cavalry to keep their feet on their stirrups, then likely due to that association, became a popular fashion item and status symbol among the upper classes of Europe, before the Great Male Renunciation of the 18th-19th centuries, when men started shunning opulence in favor of utility, leaving them as a fashion item for women instead.

I've joked that the two genders are Aesthetic and Utility before but thats just kinda the case

[sleepyquietgirl]

I feel like I am taking crazy pills

[sherlocklovesboys]

psa to all white people: if you start your conversation with “i’m sorry for being white” “as someone lighter than paper” “white people are terrible i will be the first to tell you” or anything similar i will not ❌ 🙅‍♂️ be listening to the rest of your sentence. your performative self-flagellation solves nothing and i refuse to validate your racial victim complex 😔 😡

[lelouch]

for real i don't think being racist towards black americans and native americans in our behalf is helping us at all in latin america. the energy and time you waste in calling a random black person "amerikkkan" or arguing that native americans are actually privileged for living in reservations and in food deserts could go towards helping madres buscadoras or donating to damnificados de venezuela or literally anything else you can imagine. please stop being racist online and instead help us in an actually tangible way. thankies

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[bunbuttbread]

Because Tumblr is very English speaking and some ppl like France a little too much I just want to remind you of a few things:

- France abolished the Code Noir 2 months ago. That law project that said hey you can enslave, mutilate, kill, cross breed, etc. black people at will bc they're not people they're property ? Yeah. Abolished 2 months ago. We are in July 2026.

- the last human zoo closed its doors in 1994 in France due to social pressure. Not bc they were running out of business, no. Ppl still visited that place until it closed its doors. No, it was bc (black) French people were fed up. That human zoo was specialized in displaying black (presumed Congolese) people in fake huts in enclosures, for white entertainment.

- now while this might no longer be the case, when I was growing up, I went to a French school (as in. It was an international French School w the French flag n all) and the way we were taught French geography was that France has the biggest and largest access to the sea in the world. And they'd show us a map of France and its colonies around the world. It's all occupied indigenous lands. I don't know if they still teach that. I hope not. But they absolutely did until I graduated high school in 2017. Again, I write this on July 21st 2026, for the record.

Anyways that's all I have for now. Y'all don't hate France enough. Y'all need to hate France more.