how i'm feeling now.

𝘚𝘐𝘔𝘔𝘌𝘙 𝘋𝘖𝘞𝘕.

[swallowpit]

ind. pri. sel. multi muse, mix of canon + original characters. written by sam.

rules under the cut. muse list under construction.

over 21 only. disturbing themes, all major triggers will be tagged. ask to tag and i will. starter calls are for mutuals, memes are for everyone. anon is off. shipping is chemistry based - but totally open to pre-established relationships, siblings/friends/exes/etc.

[zeyatilgan]

[wildwren]

HALT AND CATCH FIRE // 04x08: Goodwill

Mackenzie Davis as Cameron Howe

[freshmoviequotes]

Oppenheimer (2023)

[dykes-deactivated20200607]

226/365 days of alex danvers

[stardustemotions-deactivated202]

I promise you my pain wasn’t poetic. It was days without sleep and pretending i was stable enough to continue

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY COMMANDER SHEPARD  *  assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy

it's a big stupid jellyfish.

i don't know what i'd do without you.

you're working too hard.

i'll let you get back to work.

i'm sorry, i'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.

if i'm walking into hell, i want someone i trust at my side.

oh, now it's personal.

you think we're going to lose?

you'll never be alone.

no matter what happens here... you know i love you. i always will.

i haven't forgotten our time together.

i want you. i want someone i can trust.

i don't know what we're gonna find in there, but i'm not going to lie to you. it's not going to be easy.

i've had enough of your snide insinuations.

it's all just part of the job.

i'm getting a little worried about you, [name].

this shop discriminates against the poor!

consider me officially offended.

you know, [name], if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay. i'm not trying to pressure you.

when should i book the room?

can one of you clarify?

they want to know what we're made of? i say we show them, on our terms.

i should be going.

it's been a long journey, and no one is coming out without scars.

i guess i'm on my own. again.

you don't need to hurt him to get what you want.

you have got to be kidding me.

if i didn't have authorization, how did i get in? you see any other doors?

make me proud. make yourselves proud.

what's that you're drinking?

i just saved your ass.

be alive with me tonight.

sometimes things don't work out the way we'd like. that's just life.

i'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head.

i don't argue with plants.

[name], this doesn't have to be hard.

get the hell off my ship.

are you naturally this bitchy, or is it just me?

what are we going to tell them? i had a bad dream?

good times are over.

it's not too late. you don't have to go through with this.

one way or another, we're taking this bitch down.

i told them where to shove it.

you getting soft on me, [name]?

we could test your reach... and my flexibility.

this war has brought us pain, and suffering... and loss.

i assume everything's going well up here?

i don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and i won't shoot you.

i thought you were a friend of mine. you've got the same suit.

sounds like he needs to get shot.

i've been getting that a lot.

look around you. you're not in this fight alone.

i don't have time to babysit you, [name]. find a way to deal with it.

have you got a minute to talk?

here i am. exactly where i want to be.

never hesitate when you've got the enemy in your sights.

give me what i want. now!

lay it on me, [name]. i love bad news.

i should go.

hell, [name], you were always ugly.

i hadn't heard that. is there anything i can do?

someone piss in your coffee today?

how do i shut this thing up?

i can't promise how things will work out... but i missed you, [name]. i thought about you a lot.

everything we've ever known... it's all hanging by a thread.

something on your mind?

maybe you're right. maybe we can't win this.

keep it up, tough guy. you'll leave in a bag.

you kill people because you think they're beneath you; they're in your way. i kill people because they leave me no choice.

i don't know if i'll be coming down here for these talks anymore.

can we ever be ready for a battle like this?

[sapphling]

stop looking at me respectfully and start looking at me like a coyote looks at a fully stocked henhouse

[lonelydiary-deactivated20260202]

[sociofame]

––––well, thank you for illuminating me on male rituals.

[swallowpit]

your secret is safe with my indifference. / kara oop they fightin

there's something to be said for silence but the way lena wields it like a weapon wounds far deeper than any knife. every glance away burns all the way down; it can't be solved by apologies or by a kind gesture or even some great big romantic overture - this isn't the movies, kara reminds herself. there is no white horse she can ride in to save the day. lena makes it perfectly clear they are colleagues from now on and nothing more.

alex tells her to leave it be for a while. let her cool off and process; not everybody runs at the speed of light like you. it's not meant to be unkind but it still stings. kelly offers to talk through it with her, an easy thing to turn down.

(is lena talking to her? is lena talking to any of them? because none of their friends are talking to kara about lena, they point blank refuse to discuss what she's up to or who she's been with or anything at all going on in lena's life, nia shaking her head saying you need space from each other right now and james telling her kindly over the phone she asked me not to say anything, k. so they must be talking to each other. sam's text last night: in the nicest way possible, stop asking.)

it feels unfair even though it's not.

kara watches lena move around the bench without looking up from the document file, her heels clicking on the hard deo floor, and wishes she were someone else.

"y'know, i totally told alex i wouldn't start the movie without her but actually i watched it and then restarted it before she got there."

lena doesn't even break her stride as she walks out the door. your secret is safe with my indifference.

[danviers]

@swallowpit asked: what else do you want from me? / Kara BC angst

" Literally nothing, " came Alex's overwhelmingly lukewarm retort, the unspoken weight of everything that filled the silence preceding those words no less gargantuan than the disappointment, frustration and dejection she could feel coming off her adoptive sister in tidal waves.  In truth, there'd been too much: stop eavesdropping with your super - hearing; stop putting holes in things; stop being so weird at school. Yet asking those things of Kara, now, more than a year in the shadow of dad's vanishing, had never felt more pointless. " Just... try to get it together. "

[swallowpit]

the thing about the world - this world, this bizarre and unusual and confusing, confusing world of sesame streets and cars and something called a tambourine - is it surrounds every aspect of everything. which is to say there is no break in the chatter. it is permanent noise, overwhelming and oversaturated colours, sounds, micro expressions and tone of voice. kara does not understand. she cannot tell sarcasm from irony, she does not know why eliza looks at her with a frown when she drinks an entire bottle of ranch or inhales the latest tray of cupcakes, she does not know why people giggle at her when she zones out in her science classes.

(the teachers say she is struggling; the truth is that humans are so far behind, it is difficult to pretend not to understand such simple concepts as calculus or the doppler effect. her language is advanced but theirs is so rudimentary, kara cannot comprehend how they make heads or tails of any of it.)

but kara wants to understand. she desperately just wants to be normal again, ordinary. alex has an expression on her face that she cannot parse out and so kara instead sighs, picking at the leftover mac and cheese she'd pilfered out of the fridge while eliza wasn't looking. "i'm trying. i really am, i just --" her sentence trails off, caught in the space between her feeling and her brain trying to translate. "can you not look at me like that?"

[alexcabotgf]

#she's just like me fr

[screencappleby]

Spotlight (2015), dir. Tom McCarthy

[filmreel]

SPOTLIGHT 2015 dir. Tom McCarthy

[screencappleby]

Spotlight (2015), dir. Tom McCarthy

[notmorbid]

white oleander, pt. 1.

dialogue prompts from white oleander by janet fitch.

i never sleep.

don't forget who you are.

it's a traitor's moon.

dawn has a way of casting a pall on any night magic.

what are you reading these days?

that jacket is so ugly i can't even look at you.

my hatred gives me strength.

i can read your mind. i know every move you make.

i know your future, and it doesn't look good.

i almost feel sorry for you, but not quite.

you don't know what i can do.

fear tastes just like champagne. cold and crisp and absolutely without sweetness.

i'm enjoying my hatred so much more than i ever enjoyed love.

love humiliates you, but hatred cradles you.

i'd keep you if i could.

you see a lot.

you've got the sin virus in your blood.

see you in the morning. don't close the window.

wherever you go, write to me. write at least once a week.

have you ever heard me calling, felt my presence in your room?

you never could sleep.

tell me more about yourself. i want to know everything about you.

don't even think of trying to redeem me.

the good don't get a better break than anybody else.

you always were a bad influence.

if you leave, you are never coming back.

i can't do all this by myself.

you were my home.

there is no one else in the world but you and me. don't you know that?

nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.

it's one thing to hope, but if you don't take care of yourself in the present, you won't survive.

admire the skill of a fellow magician, but never fall under his spell.

i'd like to know you.

you've always had a good head on your shoulders.

you would have been a good secret agent.

life should always be like this.

i hate crowds. i'm always afraid i'm going to be crushed.

you'll latch yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention, won't you?

no point in trying to be brave.

you got something to drink? i want to get really drunk.

next time i'll send you a postcard. how's that?

i don't want things. i just want to feel like someone gives a shit.

what was the best day of your life?

tell me the truth. i won't be upset.

can't you see how ugly i am?

[annelisters]

MACKENZIE DAVIS as MINDY PARK The Martian (2015) dir. Ridley Scott