Nada Roaa

Release me from the crushing weight of existence cause I can’t bear moving through life with uncertainty and living with the debilitating fear that something might go wrong at any given time.

[sweet-nothing26]

please just take me as peacefully as possible out of this world. The girls years for the void they were yanked out of a couple decades ago.

[sweet-nothing26]

I sit here as I ponder on what made me utterly avoidant of my life, and how I always make sure to spend every waking minute trying to escape myself. I can trace the roots of that behavior way back into my chilldhood. It was a way for me to cope with my loneliness and feeling like no one was there for me as a young kid. Yet here I am, a decade and a half later, daydreaming my life away, as it’s still one of my most prominent vices.

It’s a weird thing, you know, my awareness of all of my inner problems and their origins, yet being completely stagnant and unable to move towards healing and building a future for myself. I feel paralyzed. I am paralyzed by fear and uncertainty.

I sit and wonder if my life is even worth it? Is it worth it to search for a personal spark that helps me push forward, when all I feel is pain? Is it worth it to move forward when a dagger is stuck so deep in my chest, making me overly aware of that stabbing sensation? Or do we move forward solely because we’re driven by our love for our families and friends, sparing them the mental torment of us taking the « easy » way out.

What if a part of me, deep down, knows what I’m made for in this world, my spark, fuel, ultimate end goal, yet, is unable to put in any effort, as I have zero motivation, and I’m just damaged beyond repair.

People are built different, some have a thicker skin, they can’t be easily broken by life’s chaos, whilst others present a biological vulnerability that makes more susceptible to mental damage, and I believe I’m the latter.

I have always been an adamant believer in the philosophy of creating one’s own meaning. I think it’s beautiful and inspirational in a way. Looking at those who are determined to move forward, to live up to their full potential. Fighting for a cause they so vehemently believe in. It’s honestly so incredible. What if those people balance things out in this lifetime, make this world a better place.

[st-a-y]

Feeling like you're too much is honestly one of the worst feelings to possibly exist. It just feels like you need to stop being yourself and existing all together. It's like you crawl out of your own skin and laugh in disgust at what remains, it's pathetic. And so saddening.

[thesweetiepienovels]

“No one is coming to save you.” I disagree ! I believe many people made up of many small moments come to save pieces of you , even if just briefly. The mentor who believed in you . The friend who said they’re proud of you. The family member that makes you laugh . The random person who held the door for you out of nothing but kindness. The teacher who took extra time to help you understand. The person who smiled at you when you walked into a store. The little kid who looks up to you. The person who randomly complimented you. Being “saved” isn’t about being whisked away and all your hardships gone, it’s about the people and things that remind you life is not all hardships, it is kindness, love, gentleness, softness, care, thoughtfulness. It is many moments made up of your lifetime that keeps you going and showing you the world is still beautiful, and will always be. Despite.

[loveelss]

[nicoretta77-deactivated20260731]

[cherriesofall]

[sweet-nothing26]

Although I do not live in an Islamic country, I want to give you my support as an atheist. I know it's difficult especially when you're treated like a criminal for not believing in a rigged faith but please stay alive. Don't let your views of the world be scratched out with a crescent moon + star and a verse, stay strong sister. You're not as alone as toi think you are.

Thank you for this sweet gentle reminder, I will keep pushing as hard as I can to get out 💕

[sweet-nothing26]

I saw your post about your struggles and you havent posted in a while. Hows everything going? I hope you know you have all the strenght in you even if you think you dont💞

Hey, thank you dear, things are going fine lately, I hope they remain that way. Thank you for the gentle reminder 💕😊

[sweet-nothing26]

How does one look at all the pain and suffering in the world and not blame the god who put us through this hell? Believers love claiming their god interferes with our lives especially in areas where divine intervention isn't really needed.

''No Nora, you didn't succeed in your exam because you're god's loyal servant, you did because you studied for it and giving an invisible entity credits for your accomplishments is plain stupidity''

Some believers like to play around that and minimize the pain every being on this planet goes through by claiming suffering is a character building experience, which is, in my opinion, a pathetic way to justify the intervening creator's cruelty.

Trauma never makes its victim stronger, quite the opposite actually, it breaks you, steals your peace, renders you powerless and helpless, gives you nightmares, painful flashbacks, holds you hostage for years until you heal, ruins your relationship with your body and in some cases it can even kill you. So where's the character building y'all were talking about?

Also, what would a cat learn from all of its suffering? A dog? A helpless little animal?

When i was 11, my cat died of a tumor that was located right beneath the tissue of his leg. He spent the entire night meowing loudly, wailing even, because the pain he was experiencing was excruciating. You know, the reason i'm writing this post is due to the fact that i saw a post on Twitter about a group of psychopaths located in china who have an animal torturing cult. The pictures of the cats made me cry, ''lord'' knows how painful their deaths were. Those poor little beings. I'm devastated and speechless tbh

[sweet-nothing26]

The worst part of living in this Islamic (ugh) country is if I told my fam that I don’t want to do that anymore… I’d end up being treated not human unless I agree with them, ha ha, boy I wish I was free

But it’s not gonna happen cuz I’m stuck here :’)

The way that religion brainwashes people into cutting contact with their loved ones because they no longer believe in it is depressing. I am so sorry about that and i hope you can get out of that situation and live happily according to your own rules without being villainized by a bunch of toxic abusive believers 🤗

Wishing you the best of luck anon 💞😊

[sweet-nothing26]

This past month i lost two of my closest friends which i have considered to be so close to my heart and for the first time in my life, i have truly understood the heartbreak that comes from ending a relationship with another human being whether it's platonic or romantic. As taylor swift has emphasized before, friendship breakups can be just as intense as romantic ones and it was until this month that i truly understood what she meant.

My friends or shall i say ex friends, challenged me amid a silly misunderstanding to bring out something that i bring into our friendship since they have to endure the looks of judgements and the outcast treatment for their association with me. An atheist, someone who doesn't believe in the abrahamic god (how dare she), someone who doesn't have a religion to guide them in this life, someone who lacks a moral compass, as they claim. In 2024 i made a pact with myself to STOP over explaining my stance. This includes but not limited to, my morals, my values, my beliefs or lack thereof, my identity, my whims, dreams...etc especially to someone who will never ever open their mind to accept a perspective or pov other the one their communities feed them regularly. Trying to humanize myself in a society that will forever paint atheists and non believers in a bad light since its beginning is a mistake and a waste of time, energy and my mental sanity.

For me, i thought friendship was about accepting the beautiful and ugly parts of your friends and seeing their imperfections as little quirks that just makes them who they are. I was wrong. I think this was a lesson for me to continue being a loner and never establish any deep relationship with muslims knowing they will drop you the moment they know who you truly are.

This is one of the many many beautiful things islam took away from me. The ability to make friends and connect with people. Because no matter what i do, i'm seen as a bad person who you shouldn't associate yourself with if you're a believer. I could lead you to the path of sin and disobedience. A path where you hypothetically question the absurdities that your community has fed u. A path where reason is put before faith.

Some people might say that i should stop victimizing myself and being a victim in every scenario since life is unfair for everyone and i should just stop bitching and moaning non stop. But aren't I a victim in a society where i know there are a hundred thousand people who would want me dead? Aren't I a victim in a society where the law prosecutes blasphemers for using our ''god'' given right to speak freely about the things that hurt us? Aren't I a victim for being named an abomination, a disgrace, a heathen? Aren't i a victim for facing hate crime? Aren't I a victim as a liberal ex muslim woman in a conservative islamic state?

Honestly, i rest my case. I no longer resist the loneliness the atheist path has brought me, not that it's my fault. But befriending muslims is a waste of time regardless of how open or liberal they say they are. Conservative societies are about maintaining status no matter how miserable everyone within these societies is. They shall all paint themselves as obedient straight godly people and can never stray away from that image. Any minor inconveniences that they commit can break that illusion even the ones that don't involve them at all like associating themselves with the supposed heathens. That association in itself takes away that fake status quo and ''god'' knows they can't live with that.

[sweet-nothing26]

From one ex muslim in a muslim country to another, I love you 🤍 You are so brave and I hope you get the life you deserve one day.

Awwww 💕💕🥺 this is so sweet anon! I wish for both of us the life we deeply desire far far away from something that has traumatized us for years

[sweet-nothing26]

Je fête mes 4 ans sur Tumblr 🥳

[sweet-nothing26]

TW: the mention of suicide

No one and i mean no one talks about the loneliness you feel and social isolation you experience as a non believer when you live in an islamic country. I lost everyone in my life recently because no one wants to get bad rep by associating themselves with the atheist girl. Feeling beyond depressed and suicidal. I tried to hang myself earlier today but the excruciating physical pain made me back up. Wish i had a shotgun i can use to blow my brains out and leave this world painlessly.

[treacherous]

Shining just for you

[rihamira]

I hate when there's a conversation about human rights, and people say "let's agree to disagree" like I'm not talking about your favourite color, we're literally discussing someone's right to fucking live.

Saying that everyone deserve to have a shelter over their head and food shouldn't be considered a controversial opinion.

Thinking that all places and environments should accommodate disabled people shouldn't be radical

Those are literal basic human rights, there is nothing to discuss or negotiate.