You can call me Sass @sweetandspicysub - Tumblr Blog

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zoiodlula

possessive-daddy-deactivated201

Dominance isn’t all whips and chains.

littlesubx-deactivated20191101

Kinda need this right now tbh.

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Show Me

One of the things that I get the most questions about is my demisexuality. People are often interested about what it means and how it affects my life and my relationships. There are a ton of shocked looks when I mention that I don’t really mind porn, but for the most part, it does very little for me. People are incredulous when I tell them that I’m about as interested in hookups as I am in snorting powdered radishes. There’s just literally nothing at all that I find appealing about the concept, and there have been numerous times in my life where I passed on the opportunity, either intentionally or accidentally, simply because that’s not something that I want.

Being a demisexual means, for me, that you have to actually talk to me. Put forth an effort to tell me who you are, and more importantly, show me who you are. Let me see inside your mind, let me get a glimpse of your soul, because these are the playgrounds that I want to visit. Let me learn what makes you tick, what your likes and dislikes are, but be prepared to tell me about them. Why do you like the things you like? What about certain things is it that makes you feel alive?

Being a demisexual means, for me, that I’m way more interested in your favorite book and your favorite song than I am in what your breasts look like. Tell me what you find interesting about that book you’re reading, or what emotions and memories are evoked by that song that you’ve played 20 times today. I want to know if the scent of garlic takes you back to your favorite Italian restaurant, or if cinnamon reminds you of the apple pie your grandmother liked to bake in the fall. If the only thing you feel you have to offer me are your genitalia and your complete lack of limits, I’m going to lose interest before I even open the picture. Use your words to paint a picture and show me the million little things that make you feel alive.

If we enter into a relationship, show me my place in your life. Show me that you love me through your actions. Show me that you respect me and that you care about me and that what you are giving me is mine and mine alone. Show me that you want me and that you are choosing me. Show me you want my leadership and my guidance by following my instructions. Show me you want me to want you by wanting to look good for me. Ask me what I would prefer and then go with my suggestions, even if it’s not what you’re feeling at the moment, because you are doing it to please me.

If I’m with you, I’m not just with you because of “what that mouth do”, because I’m not wondering what it can do to my genitalia, I’m wondering if you use it to sing or to recite poetry. When I’m looking at you, I’m not wondering what it’ll take for me to get you naked, I’m wondering if you’ve ever read Plato’s Republic, or Dante’s Paradiso. If I make a reference to The Odyssey or The Iliad, are you going to laugh at me and call me a dork, and then brush your hair back from those beautiful eyes of yours? These are the things that I’m thinking about…

That’s not to say that I am asexual - far from it. Everything that I learn about you has a purpose to me. I want to know what ignites your passions and what stokes your fires because I want to help them burn brighter and hotter than ever. I want to know what your soul looks like because sex is a sacred, spiritual thing to me. If I’m going to share that with you, I want to know everything I can about you so that I can draw you into that world with me. I want to shut everything else out and just listen to what you want, and the more I know how to speak your language, the better I am at deciphering those wants and needs. So, show me. Teach me. Let me learn you.

That’s what being a demisexual means to me.

fortheloveofasubmissive-deactiv

This is perhaps one of the most relatable bits of writing I have ever come across on Tumblr. It is me. It is the basis of my intimate relationships. It is how I relate with people in general. Period. I don’t know any other way, and none other has worked for me to date.

Move on me too fast, too hard, or too obviously and I will pull back. Or move in for a time and then pull away for some reason, and I’m out. Give me room to get to know you and make the effort to get to know me. Relationships grow organically for me from conversation, banter, and deep probing of one another’s psyche’s.

I am a person first, a man second, a dominant third, a sexual partner last. Approach me in that order. If I feel an intellectual and emotional connection and spark, and subtle submission in the right measure is an inherent, natural, and unforced part of that, then the sexual side of power exchange will blossom naturally from there. But only after I feel already otherwise deeply connected, emotionally attached, and generally attracted.

Dating, flings, hookups, forget it. It’ll never happen with me. Make an effort to get to know me, and I’ll do the same for you. It is your mind and heart that I seek most and most want to live with, grow with, and thrive with for the long haul. They are what will both attract me and ultimately keep me. Not to worry, your body will eventually follow with enthusiasm as will mine. Take this path with me, don’t pull away from me or shut me out for any inexplicable reason (‘cause then I’m gone), and soon enough it will be quite evident if there is any magic or connection there. And if there is, I’m all in. And watch out because it’s pretty damn addictive.

So in the words of @dinodaddy, show me…you.

Cheers!

sweetandspicysub

#mademecry

Amazon knows me so well. . .this comes with expert installation!🤣🤣🤣🤣

👆👆👆👆👆

Hell yeah ~~

True colors

I talk to a lot of Subs and Doms here, FetLife, Kik, etc. I listen to a lot of stories and give a lot of advice. One thing that comes up a lot is “I thought he was a good Dom but he’s so aggressive, makes me safeword a lot, tells me it’s good to be pushed to that Everytime to learn, he yells, he abuses, etc etc etc”.

I want to give my thoughts on something I’ve always called true colors. Before you start with a Dom, remember some basic things. Talk to that Dom about regular everyday life, ask about pets, friends, ex subs, work, etc. Ask about hobbies, TV shows, sports, all of it. Pay attention to the responses. If he says all his exes are crazy, horrible, awful subs, that’s a bad sign. If he tells you work is terrible because he never has good bosses or corworkers, that’s a bad sign. If he says he doesnt go out to eat because servers are all stupid and lazy, pay attention. If when he speaks he seems uptight, or throws angry words out, F Bombs non stop in negative ways, these are bad signs.

Look over his Tumblr. Is the entire tumblr porn? (Not so much now) Is his Tumblr full of profanity laced tyrades about how he’s been wronged by people that just dont get him, if he yells, screams and rants about many different topics, these are red flags to me. Does his profile say he had a sub but he’s constantly posting for women to message him sexual stuff, or message him if they aren’t happy with their current dom, these are red flags.

A true Dom prides himself on control. A true Dom isn’t out of control almost ever. A true dom knows you well enough not to push you to a safeword every time you play. A true Dom takes too much pleasure from control to get that angry and aggressive over most of every day Life. A true Dom doesn’t try to tell you he’s a much better Dom for you than your current dom.

The guy you’re talking to can be an amazing lay, can be great at sex, but that doesnt make a true Dom. If all he cares about is sex, it’s a red flag. If he’s still an asshole to you, doesn’t respect limits, is so aggressive he scares you, you don’t have a Dom, you have an Alpha asshole. Plain and simple. Dominance is control, dominance is leading, dominance is guidance.

Look for true colors. Pay attention to details before you get involved. Look for signs of unnecessary aggression, or a disrespect for the limits and relationships of others. Look for arrogance that just wreaks of too much huberus. Look for signs that he sees women as strictly objects to own, objects to collect as many as possible, etc.

Be safe. Understand that Dominance is control and consent. Trust is Paramount. If you don’t trust his past, you probably shouldnt trust him with your future.

just--favorites

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Keys to a good relationship:

1. Communication

2. Laughter

3. Rough sex

thegingerpowers

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give me your beautiful body and your sexy mind!!!😉

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thegoodvybe

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Bam…..

sparrowskitten

When self doubt is too loud - a thank you to Dom’s

I was fixing up my hair a few weeks ago. We were getting ready to head out on a family outing. While I am far from perfect I was feeling calm about my outside appearance. Grabbing a strand of hair to curl I saw a glimmer of what I thought was a loose thread. At 33 it was my first grey.

I did what I assumed was the appropriate response given that I had just realized on top of all my other insecurities I’m getting OLD! Full stop, disregard for near perfect makeup I broke down in ugly tears after ripping that grey little demon from my scalp.

@daddysparrow has been grey for years, it’s actually super hot. I think it makes him look distinguished and Hella sexy. I adore his salt and pepper look. I was able to compose myself, fix my face and get on with my day, listening to the demon whisper.

The whole situation has been playing in my head. The double standard of aging and negative body image between males and females. I know without a doubt @daddysparrow loves me; my curves, wrinkles, and imperfections. So why can’t I? Why can’t my submission to him be enough to to silence the self doubt. Why does my inability to silence the self doubting demon spiral into me feeling like a horrible submissive because I can’t let his rule of no self hate empower me.

I can remember being very young and struggling with distorted self image. I can tell you I wish I was as “fat” as I was back then when I thought I was fat. The reality is Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s you have the whole world against you.

Media, advertising and even those women who struggle to spread kindness; their voices have been in my(probably your submissive too) head for my entire life. Wrinkle cream, hair colour, diet plans, waist trainers, booty enhancing creams and let’s not forget that plastic surgeons make a fortune on feeding the self doubt monsters.

There are very few issues that women face in regards to our body image that doesn’t have at least 30 commercial products that falsely claim to be able to fix our imperfections. While I know some men deal with these self doubting demons too and for that I am so sorry. I do feel thought that it is an issue that preys on women more.

Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s in the community I am so so sorry on behalf of myself and all the other submissives that struggle to hear your voices in the hurricanes of self doubt. We hear you, we love you, we want to obey, we want our brains to obey and you are a breath of fresh air in our lives.

When you look at us naked, bare faced, wrinkles, imperfections and grey hairs and tell us we are the most beautiful girls in the world; you empower us with strength. You stand with us against the demons of self doubt. When our self doubt demon becomes too scary, you let us use your love as our shields.

Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s we love you, we are so thankful for you! Without you we would drown in the negative words the outside world throws at us. I can’t imagine the task you embark on taking on a submissive is easy. Thank you for choosing to be there always to build us up even though the world around us seems to be knocking us down.

Love you to the moon and back ♥️🐾

Thought I would tag a few thank you to the Dom’s and a reminder to the Subs to ignore their own self doubt demons

@daddysparrow @instructor144 @thefoxof86 @bigbadwolf-ish @dominantlife @amysubmits @wolfpack-princesskitty @lifeafterthetunnel @kuriouzme15 @submissive-seeking @subspace-blog @babygirl-1972 @bellandherbeast @kinkyprincessub @stark-1972