Rebellious Grandma
Being a caregiver for my dad has left me little time to spend with my grandma. I typically receive status updates about her condition from my relatives. They usually tell a story about how her behavior upset them: how was wasn't able to pull herself together and go to church, how she didn't want to eat, how she started to walk "home," and how she's become rebellious. Many of the behaviors were shocking to hear because they were just out of character for my grandma. But on the rare occasions I'm on the phone with my relatives when they're trying to get grandma to do something on their agenda, I can't help but think some of the pushback just might be well deserved. Recently I've been wondering what it would be like if I were like my grandma--living with dementia. I wonder how I would react if I asked for a ride home home to take care of my dad and my daughter told me, "You are home and your father is dead?" I wonder how I would react if my family was always trying to feed me when I didn't feel hungry. I wonder how I would react if I planned to spend my day sitting in my favorite seat in the house, looking out of the window to see the sunshine and activities of the neighbors but my children recommend I venture with them to accomplish one of their daily tasks. I wonder how I would react if I was doing what I thought was right and proper, but my grandchild told me, "No, grandma! You can't do that." And I wonder if I would believe that all of a sudden everything I was thinking and doing was wrong.
