Gazing Into The Abyss

26 year old transwoman: student of history. father, lover, writer, warrior-poet, and genuine freak

[ohmystarrynight]

I know it’s more of an Instagram trend but I really wanted to do this lmfao

How it probably went down:

“Engines going on public roads must have their wheels covered and a cow catcher in front!” -a cop probably

“But this engine doesn’t catch cows sir…”

“Well that doesn’t-“

“It catches bitches 😎”

“You’re going to fucking jail.”

Edward, who was just there to double head and was literally smack in the middle of that: ☹️

[ohmystarrynight]

I should have asked this eariler. What’s the lore with Lady and Diesel 10 in your AU, I’m interested to know.

Eeeeeeegads so I don’t have much lore ~yet~

But I do think it’s neat to mention that before the plot of TATMR when he first tries to find lady and her lost engine he does lose his hand hence why he has the cool claw hand (aka pinchy) in the actual comic with Thomas.

I wish TATMR gave us more lore about the first time diesel tried to destroy lady and the railroad, but alas…

I’ll probably make another much more in depth post about this as I finalize a lot of my ideas but for now I hope this suffices?? It’s not much haha sorry

[an-island-of-bunnies]

my friend had a dream,,,,,

[an-island-of-bunnies]

A silly :3

[an-island-of-bunnies]

another halloween comic! uwu

[fumifooms]

The fabled, infamous buckled collar shirt… Opens. He’s usually always wearing his cowl and vest so you can’t usually tell. He does love wearing shirts with open/low collars, which you can esp tell by the Daydream Hour outfits Kui designed for him, so makes sense. And yet… The buckle collar…

If u don’t think this is the same shirt btw he actually does up his collar when meeting the canaries. Just 1 scene difference before after, below. He likes to open up his collars when the setting is more casual but business or action happens and it’s back to being all proper and laced up

Btw idk if it’s a mistake but that screentone on Chilchuck’s chest in the second picture of the post… Is Kui telling us he has body hair. Idk is he dirty does he need a shower?? Kui doesn’t draw Senshi with much body hair in the manga for practicality reasons but she did draw in a Daydream Hour once how much she actually thinks he has, so it wouldn’t be crazy if this was the case for Chil too, and then in a final chapter in a close shot panel where she even details the seams of the shirt she can go all out more. Kui talks about peach fuzz and whatnot for elves so maybe they’re just finer or paler in his case. Please please please— Sigh ok it’s a screentone mistake

Anyways while I’m here, low collar comp. Third one is that shirt he wears sometimes where you have to tie up the strings like in bottom row middle outfit of the first one…

[silvermoonphantom]

Listen; when I’m crawling under my house, I wear the highest collar turtleneck I own.

A single fat spider down my collar taught me this lesson.

With the creatures in those dungeons, I DO NOT blame this man who scouts ahead of his party for wearing a buckled high collar, pants tucked into boots, belt tightly cinched.

[olympushit]

I just read an article that said Ares was the most pathetic greek god.

Let me get that straight.

Ares was the only male greek god that never raped or sexually assaulted any woman in his immortal life.

Ares was the patron god of the Amazons. A feminist community of female warriors was protected by him. Amazons were his loyal daughters.

Ares slew his daughter's rapist and was tried before all of the other gods for homicide.

Ares was the only male greek god that never viewed Aphrodite as a temporary lover, he respected her and loved her for who she was.

Zeus called Ares a double-faced liar just because he didn't agree with his nature and allowed Athena to hurt him.

Ares forgave Cadmos for slewing his child and married him off to hid daughter Harmonia.

Ares freed Thanatos from the chains Sisyphus put him.

Ares was the first god to protect Olympus from Otus and Ephialtes, but when he was trapped by them no other god went to free him.

According to Nonus in Dionysiaca, Ares allows Deimos and Phobos to help Zeus defeat Typhon.

Ares was the god of masculinity, civil order and a fighter for righteousness, referred as the Ally of Themis.

He always stepped in to help his children. He even went as far to disobey Zeus so that he could save his children from danger.

And Ares is pathetic! Like really?

The only argument of his "pathetic" nature was because he lost to Athena. A war isn't meant to always be won. There are the winners and the defeated. He may have been defeated in war but in his life he was a winner, because he faught for what he loved the most with insane ferocity!

Be for fucking real guys!

[olympushit]

I just read an article that said Ares was the most pathetic greek god.

Let me get that straight.

Ares was the only male greek god that never raped or sexually assaulted any woman in his immortal life.

Ares was the patron god of the Amazons. A feminist community of female warriors was protected by him. Amazons were his loyal daughters.

Ares slew his daughter's rapist and was tried before all of the other gods for homicide.

Ares was the only male greek god that never viewed Aphrodite as a temporary lover, he respected her and loved her for who she was.

Zeus called Ares a double-faced liar just because he didn't agree with his nature and allowed Athena to hurt him.

Ares forgave Cadmos for slewing his child and married him off to hid daughter Harmonia.

Ares freed Thanatos from the chains Sisyphus put him.

Ares was the first god to protect Olympus from Otus and Ephialtes, but when he was trapped by them no other god went to free him.

According to Nonus in Dionysiaca, Ares allows Deimos and Phobos to help Zeus defeat Typhon.

Ares was the god of masculinity, civil order and a fighter for righteousness, referred as the Ally of Themis.

He always stepped in to help his children. He even went as far to disobey Zeus so that he could save his children from danger.

And Ares is pathetic! Like really?

The only argument of his "pathetic" nature was because he lost to Athena. A war isn't meant to always be won. There are the winners and the defeated. He may have been defeated in war but in his life he was a winner, because he faught for what he loved the most with insane ferocity!

Be for fucking real guys!

[vibigalbya]

i pray that nobody has done this one yet

[dc9spot]

Thomas Gijinka…. I love the first season when everyone was such a jerk.

[noise-vs-signal]

Facets of the Divine Feminine: Babalon and the Queen of Heaven in Binah, from Promethea #21 (”The Wine of Her Fornications”) by Alan Moore and J. H. Williams III (2002).

“For I am the first and the last. I am the honored and the scorned, I am the harlot and the holy one. I am the wife and the virgin. I am the mother and the daughter.

I am the barren one and the one with many children. I am she whose marriage is multiple, and I have not taken a husband. I am the midwife and she who does not give birth. I am the comforting of my labor pains.

I am the bride and the bridegroom. It is my husband who begot me. I am the mother of my father and the sister of my husband. And he is my offspring.

I am the servant of him who prepared me and I am the lord of my offspring. But he is the one who begot me before time on a day of birth and he is my offspring in time, and my power is from him. I am the staff of his power in his youth and he is the rod of my old age. And whatever he wills happens to me.

I am the incomprehensible silence and the much-remembered thought. I am the voice of many sounds and the utterance (logos) of many forms. I am the utterance of my name

Why, you who hate me, do you love me And hate those who love me?   You who deny me, confess me, And you who confess me, deny me. You who speak the truth about me, tell lies about me, And you who have told lies about me, speak the truth about me. You who know me, become ignorant of me; and may those who have been ignorant of me come to know me

For I am knowledge and ignorance. I am shame and boldness. I am unashamed, I am ashamed. I am strength and I am fear. I am war and peace

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth. Do not be haughty to me when I am discarded upon the earth And you will find me among those that are to come. And do not look upon me on the garbage-heap and go and leave me discarded. And you will find me in the kingdoms.

…

I am she who exists in all fears and boldness in trembling. I am she who is weak, and I am well in pleasure of place. I am foolish and I am wise

I am she who has been hated everywhere and who has been loved everywhere. I am she who is called Life and you have called Death. I am she who is called Law and you have called Lawlessness.

I am the one you have pursued, and I am the one you have restrained. I am the one you have scattered and you have gathered me together. Before me you have been ashamed and you have been unashamed with me.

I am the gnosis of my seeking, and the finding of those who seek after me. And the command of those who ask of me.

And the power of the powers by my gnosis of the angels who have been sent by my logos, And the gods in their seasons by my command, And it is with me that the spirits of all humans exist, and it is within me that women exist.

I am she who is honored and praised and who is despised scornfully. I am peace and because of me war has come to be. And I am an alien and a citizen. I am substance and she who has no substance. Those who come into being from my synousia are ignorant of me, And those who are in my substance know me.

Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me And those who are far from me have known me.

For what is inside of you is what is outside of you. And the one who molded you on the outside has made an impression of it inside of you. And that which you see outside of you, you see inside of you. It is manifest and it is your garment.

For I am the one who alone exists, And I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the sweet forms that exist in numerous sins And unrestrained acts and disgraceful passions, and temporal pleasures, Which are restrained until they become sober And run up to their place of rest. And they will find me there, And they will live and they will not die again.”

- Excerpts from the Gnostic text “The Thunder, Perfect Mind” (c. 200 CE).

For more on occult & esoteric art, please see “Noise vs. Signal”.

[noise-vs-signal]

The Work

The Work is an esoteric system also known as the “Fourth Way”. It offers practical techniques for gaining self-knowledge.

Key practices include:

Try to feel at times that you are not just your body, but that you are looking through it and seeing things and people in this world by means of it.

Learn to distinguish between your instinctual, emotional and intellectual centres, so that you can start to balance and combine them.

Practice taking in impressions consciously.

Move into a position "between the opposites".

Learn not to identify, and understand that at a very deep level, "the observed is not the observer".

See also:

"In Search of Being".

"Life above Time".

[ruubesz-draws]

So, my good pal @radicalgator and I had this really weird idea for Shin. We decided to draw a comic about it, so here's my version lol

Shin's abilities are very... special haha... nice;;;

Also, huge thanks to Wikizilla for the information!

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

[celestial-fang]

In this essay I will discuss submissive bishounen Skitarii and why this is canon

Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus. You have an entire army of fit, beautiful cyborg twinks that love being mind-controlled by you and think it’s the ultimate form of pleasure to serve. You have one tentacle for each cyborg boytoy and can keep ordering new stock from the forge world

Oh there’s one you’re not into? Don’t worry you can modify his appearance and uniform according to your preferences!

Oh you want something spicier? You can send them at the enemy and watch a livestream of huge armoured monsters taking them apart straight from their own eye cameras!

Even in canon, Skitarii uniforms are designed to be extremely sexualised. Slender androgynous silhouette compared to the other bulky armies, gas mask and tight fitting leather, flowing trench coat, heeled boots. Plenty of trailing cable for the enemy to grab and tie them up with…

For further research, please refer to the novel ‘Skitarius’ by Rob Sanders. In the narrative, the main character (Haldron-44 Stroika) is a loyal, brave officer who is repeatedly captured and bullied by enemies. You will see my rendition of him above as the silver-haired, one eyed twink. A tech priest takes control of his body and humiliates him in front of an entire army as power play. A Dark Mechanicum priest ties him to a surgical table and teases him. And the Iron Warriors… sweet Omnissiah if I say what happens I will be suspended. But I have written a 12k word fanfic about his life as a Chaos toy, which has often been described as the sickest fanfic ever made for Warhammer (search ‘To Break a Soldier of the Machine God’ on AO3)

This is but a small example of such possibilities. I have no doubt that a Necron Overlord would collect harems of cute Skitarii to serve him. They are also prized pets among the Chaos Legions and Dark Eldar and their cute electronic screams can be heard across the entire galaxy.

All evidence point to the fact that Skitarii are bottoms wishing to be defeated and taught their place while they worship you.

Thank you for coming to my speech.

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

[id: a banner with a huge image of the :-) (smiley face with nose) emoticon captioned “smiley / first emoted here / 19 september 1982 / computer science department / www.cs.cmu.edu/smiley / carnegie mellon.” end id]

happy birthday :-) face

[blackcvrrant-deactivated2023060]

it’s that time of the year again everyone say happy 40th birthday :-)

[weaver-z]

This is apparently what was contained in the original message that invented the :-) and I'm obsessed with Fahlman's diction here

[shitborderlinesdo]

The Borderline Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Borderline Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity problems, including: I have an unstable sense of identity, I have poor self-esteem and excessive self-criticism, and I often experience dissociation when I am under stress.

I am unstable in my goals, aspirations, values, and/or career plans.

I have a heightened sense of empathy and am hypersensitive to the feelings and needs of my peers, although my perceptions are often biased towards negative attributes.

There is a lot of instability in my relationships, in that I am needy, mistrustful, and anxious.

__ / 4 Total

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty retaining information and remembering people and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings and how they affect others.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check ONE or more of the following:

I am very impulsive and often act on things without planning.

I engage in dangerous, risky, and/or potentially self-damaging activities with no concern to my personal limitations.

I am easily angered.

__ / 3 Total

Must have at least FOUR checks TOTAL by the end of this section, including ones from previous section (If you checked two above, you only need two here, for example):

My emotions are incredibly unstable, and I change moods often (sometimes within minutes), feeling things more intensely than others seem to.

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, panic, and/or anxiety. I have fears of the future and of falling apart or losing control.

I get separation insecurity and fear abandonment.

I am frequently depressed and feel hopeless and have a difficult time recovering from such moods.

__ / 7 Total

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I have a fear of abandonment and do my best to avoid it.

I switch between idealizing and devaluing the people in my life. My relationships are often unstable and intense.

I have an unstable sense of self and often question my identity.

I am impulsive.

I have attempted suicide and/or I self-harm.

I have frequent mood swings.

I often feel empty or depressed and have doubts about my future.

I am hot-tempered.

When stressed, I am paranoid and/or I experience dissociation.

__ / 9 Total

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning 

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

-

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum, check out Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you checked ALL of Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum in other sections, look into other personality disorders, especially other Cluster B’s.

-

Section VI Common Symptoms and Behaviors associated: 

I have disordered eating patterns.

I am sometimes obsessive.

I sometimes get intrusive thoughts which I am unable to ignore.

I become attached easily.

I often “bait” people in order to start a conflict.

I have trouble sleeping, or I sleep too much.

I have a child-like curiosity.

I am dependent on others.

I sometimes mimic or mirror others.

I have nightmares.

I have difficulty processing information.

My appearance changes often.

I have an extreme need for acceptance.

I have a natural rejection of people in authority.

I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over again.

I very much live in the moment, to the point where past actions don’t matter. How I judge others (and myself) depends entirely on what is happening right now.

I isolate myself, even when I need social interaction.

I am often defensive.

I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I experience memory lapses.

I consider myself a perfectionist.

I react very strongly to mundane experiences.

I have a difficult time making decisions.

I have difficulty completing tasks.

I often feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized.

When I am upset, I am unable to calm down without help.

I castrophicize my problems and see the smallest things as the end of the world.

I often see my problems as unsolvable and hopeless to fix.

I hold grudges.

I alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against me.

I have a hard time recalling someone’s love for me when they’re not around.

I change my opinions depending on whom I’m with.

Sometimes the slightest provocation will make me feel abandoned.

I feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time.

I rush into relationships based on an idea of a person rather than the person themselves.

__ / 35

[mpgis-fangurl]

im late as hell but i still love redrawing them over the org shots