⚠️ homicidal herbivore!

chronically ill selfshipper (they/them); anti-harassment, pro-fiction adult. hope thy day goes well! :D

[swooning-sofa]

Relevant information:

I am anti-censorship (repugnance does not equal wisdom) and pro "do whatever you want as long as you do not harm actual people."

I am an adult, and I shalt often reblog posts containing rather grim and/or salacious topics. My tag for this is #osha violations. Sometimes I'll forget to tag it though, or mistag other things.

I am a self-shipper, and as long as thou art kind, thou art welcome here. If thou dost not wish to glimpse me, prithee block.

Archaic linguistics art awful [awe-some].

My "about me" tag is #sofa squeaks. My "answered asks" tag is #squeaky springs. The tag I use for drawing is #sofa sketches or #sofa's sketches.

I may follow people and then unfollow them later, not as a moral judgement, but simply as a fleeting expression of interest.

I cannot deal with donation asks in general, due to long covid.

Sometimes, when I am overtly weary, I will utilize telegraphic speech - (conserving energy and thusly words, i.e. 'I like this thing' gets shortened to 'like thing').

Here is a list of my self-ships under the cut:

#sweet enough to eat [Queen Chrysalis from MLP] #stygian obsession [King Sombra from MLP] #meteor bound [Curly from Mouthwashing] #even black holes have halos [Jimmy from Mouthwashing] #scattered by the spotlight [Caesar Flickerman from The Hunger Games] #roses and rot [Coriolanus Snow from The Hunger Games] #fallow in the midst of famine [Heket from Cult of the Lamb] #harvesting havoc [Leshy from Cult of the Lamb] #pestilence and punishment [Kallamar from Cult of the Lamb] #appetites so long denied [Hannibal Lecter] #artificial autolysis [Will Graham; primarily his TV iteration] #alike in atrophy [AM from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream] #birds of a feather [Shane from Stardew Valley, halted for now]

...and Follower Covid, [a Cult of the Lamb OC], who exists mainly as an outlet for my rage about my chronic illness. It's both a self-ship, and a personality facet.

[milkyenthusiast]

safe safe loving caring mama holding you in her arms and breastfeeding you as you fall asleep and she whispers how much she loves you and her boobs are larger than your head btw

[ballpolisher]

hoping to “ew gross, get away from me you pervert” myself into getting folded in half and squat fucked by a big hairy man and then forced to kiss his fat sweaty balls after he unloads into my womb

[fntasythots]

I'm watching p0rn and I got inspired 🩷

--

MDNI!!! This is just fantasy, nothing is real. All sexual acts should be between adults

--

Daddy taught me well. As a youngin I remember him calling me just get him a beer. He'd be completely naked with Mommy sucking his thing.

"Thanks baby doll." He'd smirk, look at his cock, then back at me.

"One day this is gonna be your job."

It made me start thinking, how does Daddy taste... How does Mommy taste? I mean i never stopped sucking on her nipples.

She'd call me over and have my suckle, then switch, and suckle again.

Oh Mommy, she had huge tits, big areolas and sometimes I'd nibble on her just to see her reaction... Usually she'd moan.

She also had a fat ass, Daddy likes smacking it while she rides him. Her huge boob's jumping up and down.

And Daddy was hairy with a beer belly and a thick beard. Oh god I loved watching them together, inlove.

I yearned for that love, and one day it did. Mom was off at work and Daddy called me into his office. I'd wear a tiny bikini top with tits spilling out and a miniskirt and nothing underneath.

When I opened the office door he was sitting there in his boxers with his hard cock outside if his boxers and a Grey shirt.

"Mmmm, that's beautiful baby doll. I think it's time we have some alone time together while Mommys gone." He said like a perverted old man.

He walked me over to his couch in the office. I remember watching Mommy and Daddy on this couch. Now it was my turn.

He sat down, and placed me facing him, straddling him.

"Don't be so shy baby, you've been wanting this right?"

I nodded and finally said, "Daddy, I love you. Please fuck me."

He chuckled and pulled a tit from my top and started to suckle my fat titty.

I couldn't help it, it felt so good I naturally started moving my hips.

Daddy switched boob's and grabbed my ass with the other hand.

"So thick like your Mother baby doll." He whispered into my ear and pushed my hips down, making his cock go inside my little virgin pussy.

It stung, and surprised me. Daddy cooed about how tight I felt. After a few pumps and Daddy whispering about how he's gonna love me and fuck me all the time - everything felt better.

He was grunting and squeezing my body all over.

"Bounce baby doll - fuck, fuck yeah babe! Ugh this pussy is amazing. Your amazing kiddo!"

That praise from him made me want to do better. Tits jumping and ass twerking. I sucked on Daddys tongue and I never stopped moving my hips, not once.

However, what i didn't realize was that he had turned the Webcam on, this was being recorded. All of it.

"Baby doll, Daddys gonna cum yeah? Stay babe, Daddys gonna cum inside you, like I do with Mommy okay?"

"Yes Daddy! Ahhhh! I love you, I love you, I love you, Daddy! I'm cumming!"

My pussy throbbed and was full of Dadseed. I was breathing heavy and Daddy kissed me and both tits, then laughed.

He stood up, cock still hard, waved into the camera and turned it off.

"What was that Dad?"

"Oh baby, that was your first video. I think you did fabulously."

"Who's gonna watch it Daddy?" I asked and cocked my head to the side.

"OH, just the family."

[pubertynuke]

so you won’t sell me the drugs because im 11 but you WILL have sex with me? interesting..

[kerrin-deactivated20260107]

i wanna blur the lines between what's morally right and what feels really really good so you become someone you swore you'd never be (flirting)

[xler0]

//cw for potty mouthed words? effective way to deal with tiddies that kept changing sizes-

[plus-size-aesthetics]

[sinningzoey]

i think breeding your mother is one of the most beautiful things a daughter can do. what's more lovely than fertilising the very cunt you came from?

[kegelgod-deactivated20160519]

How to spoon:

Dick hard on the butt

Titty in my hand

Kiss ya neck

Hell yeah

[toohot-tohoot]

What

[kegelgod-deactivated20160519]

HOW TO SPOON

DICK HARD ON THE BUTT

TITTY IN MY HAND

KISS YA NECK

H E L L Y E A H

[shutinlear53-deactivated2025063]

thighs real big, tummy real big, age gap real big, everything real big

[dorkery]

Must-know for Japanese fandom: the meaning of "proship" and the concept of "proshippers" in Western f｜オレンジア｜note

[TN: This is a translation of this note by Maromi. If you are able, I encourage you to read the original article for yourself as translation

I have never read a more excellent article

[todayiwrotenothing]

[brightwanderer]

This is a great take and I would like to adopt “Feelings Yakuza” in English actually, I feel like it conveys the whole thing way more obviously than “anti” (not to mention the muddled meaning of “proshipper”).

[thebiscuiteternal]

To avoid harassment, EA and SEA artists have started pre-emptively blocking users with "proship DNI" or any variation thereof in their profiles as a result of this article and said feelings yakuza are getting pissed that their DNIs are being hard enforced by the other side. How very dare.

[septmilleneurones]

I’m screaming with laughter at the actual Japanese term, o-kimochi yakuza. The “o” is an honorific indicator to indicate how prissy and self-important these people are being.

[thorst]

I don't know if Maromi intended this to be the incredible takedown that it is, but I couldn't not share it:

[black-quadrant]

ADHD affects how I experience time, not how I experience attachment. I love you. I miss you. I just don't realize how long it’s been since I last said that, let alone messaged.

I understand that most normal functioning brains need regular engagement to maintain a bond. Absence doesn’t diminish my affection. My silence isn’t neglect or disinterest. It’s time blindness and object impermanence. The contact gap is purely neurological, not emotional. Thank you for being patient with my inconsistency and holding a seat in your heart for me.

[roadrotted]

Bro has no idea that I’m in love with him

[dazeymaid]

i will have art to show soon, but ive been completely obsessed with my new save and cant resist showing off the fruits of my labor, my decorations.

my little personal garden. i have all my bishops with me every night❤️❤️❤️i love them all, even narinder gets a spot, though he’s conveniently hidden behind my tent😊. none of them have their relics back yet, since ive been working on making them perfect and giving them all the right traits before the bishop trait takes up a spot.

if only they would add a proper trophy of the red crown to finish my collection. i used the disciple shrine to fill its place initially, but it just stood out too much.

(◞‸◟)

they’ve already got a model right here!!! I wish i could just drag it to my cult and use it as decoration

(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

my temple. im pretty dissatisfied with it though so im likely going to move it.

there are so many pretty things they could make into decoration that they completely missed out on!!!! everytime i go out on a crusade to any of the og biomes i die a little inside seeing all the gorgeous things that the devs totally missed out on making into decorations, especially the postgame additions!!!

look at these!!!! i get psychic damage everytime im in darkwood and see these flowers!!!!!!!!!! they’d make such good decorations, theres a total lack of bright things!!!!!

and the corals!!!!! the jellyfish!!!! the hanging corpses!!!!! they’re all so pretty i seethe in jealousy whenever im in anchordeep. even the rocks look cute covered in moss and starfish!!!! i love anchordeep, but why are all the decorations just crystals!!!!!?!?!?! even kallamar’s thoughts have him admiring the corals and colors!!!! why only purple!!!?!?!?! the crystals come in multiple colors!!!

and THESEEE!!!!!! i’d kill to have connected lights like this!!!! ohhhh its so painful!!!

the worst of it has to be in anura though💔 the shells, the carnivorous plants, the mushrooms are so cute!!!! i go crazy just taking screenshot after screenshot whenever i enter one of these rooms my storage is dying because of it.

if the developers released a dlc of decorations based on the stuff in the bishops’ biomes i’d buy it instantly!!!!

this was meant to show off my base, but i got distracted two seconds in and just began ranting about decorations. whoops! but im very passionate about decorating!!! i have 500 hours on cotl and most of it has been just experimenting with decorations or purgatory runs.

its criminal how little decorations the bishops have!!! its the first gripe i ever had with cult of the lamb!!! they. need. MORE!!

[tomiizy]

I like to think Heket laid the egg due to her mythological counterpart's status as the goddess of fertility. >:3 plus her ancient consort was Khnum - god of life.. and death! One of Heket's titles was 'I-am-the-resurrection' too.

WHERE DO YALL EVEN GET THESE INFORMATION I LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYTIME I READ UR RESPONSES （；゜０゜）

But now that you said it I won’t be surprised if she actually did lololol

[lovrito]

i feel like tumblr users are the only ones who don’t use ai. everyone else would fuck chatgpt if they could

[runcibility]