🗡

It's our first date. Things have been going great. We're both hungry. We start walking around looking for somewhere to eat. We stumble into a Taco Bell. It's 4 in the morning. This is the only restaurant in a 26 mile radius, but it's cool because we both love Taco Bell. I order 2 beef burritos because I want you to think I'm adventurous. I offer to pay for your food, but you insist on covering your own order. You order the quesadilla. 37 minutes pass. We have not received our food. I ask the clerk when our orders will be ready. It's at that moment that he turns around and I see it. This man is actually a broom. In shock and confusion I glance over at you. I notice something I hadn't before. I look closer. You've been a mop this entire time. The fool that I am I hadn't noticed. I see that look in your eyes. It's the same look we shared 4 years ago when our romance first began. It's love at first site. What else could I expect, you're a mop, he's a broom, and I, well I'm just a lowly spec of dust waiting to be wiped from these floors of this Mucho Burrito by the love you'll never give me. The two of you start making passionate love on the countertop. I'm still waiting for my beef burritos.

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[rednines]

[depsidase]

[tempered-grace]

link to AP article about the infections

[laterkiss]

happy pride to my favourite post on reddit

[depsidase]

[thewrldlooksred]

got inspired by a #pedestrian post + have been stressed at crosswalks and the like lately sooo.

✨️ PEDESTRIAN AFFIRMATIONS ✨️

drivers are so mindful and love me for existing on the road ❤️❤️

[thewrldlooksred]

courtesy of the tags, unlocked memory, and some friend suggestions: heres a few more!

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[politijohn]

Source

Happy Pride Month!

[reasonsforhope]

Holy shit!!!!!!! HUNGARY DID IT!!!!

-via the Los Angeles Blade, June 1, 2026

[blumineck]

Sorry to keep banging on about this! I just have a few days left to meet the funding goal!

The Bluminarmour Project

Blumineck is trying to fun a video series doing fun and serious historical and fantasy testing in fitted plate armour.

[vee-dmsr]

[spacepsychologist]

New Cybertruck hate article just dropped!

Lmao not “Incel Camino”

[muscleluvr4-deactivated20140223]

why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

[wariolands-blog]

when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away

[viseriontargaryen]

turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit

[davekat-deactivated20130315-dea]

[btc-official-deactivated2024071]

this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated

[rain-droplet]

even you

[hufflepuffharukananase]

Even me

[human-pet-they]

I feel like the third person on here way way too often

[teaboot]

I have a medical condition where no matter how many people are in a room I will find the one person who likes me the absolute least and become desperate for their approval

[teaboot]

I spoke to the doctor about this and she prescribed 100mg of "stop giving a fuck about people who hate you", hiding it in a spoonful of peanut butter labeled "the people who care about you deserve more of your time"

[kintatsujo]

Tea I'm sorry but are you possibly a cat

[teaboot]

[not-gray-politics]

We need to talk about tumblr's systematic fatphobia.

Posts of fat people are being marked as "sexual content" even more frequently than they used to, but now we have this fun little addition as brought to my attention by a friend;

That's right. Not just blatant kink-shaming, but now, if you make posts about or with fat people, you can now be flagged as "promoting disordered eating"! Multiple completely innocent posts of fat people literally just existing in their own bodies have already been flagged this way.

Raise hell about it. Reblog and share fat content more than ever. Don't let this shitty website tell you that your bodies are "wrong" or that you aren't allowed to exist publicly.

Tumblr staff, if you care about eating disorders (you fucking don't), stop promoting this sense of shame and fear and disgust towards the idea of weight gain. Stop shaming and censoring people for posting about their own bodies and experiences. Fatphobia kills. Fatphobia causes disordered eating. Fatphobia is the disease you should be worried about.

This has also been disproportionately affecting fat trans people, because of course it has.

Don't stop talking about it. Don't let this bullshit ceo silence you.

[this-site-isnt-safe-for-me]

the best fucking shirt

[swordarmsaxelegs]

you could say I'm somewhat fellatio terrorism leaning

[macquarieridge]

amazing tweet by mou