look, i haven't seen season 4 yet, so i shouldn't even be talking. but i saw a tiktok that made me think about the bear and sydcarmy again, and i just had to get this off my chest 😭 like, i am not even a full-time sydcarmy shipper like that, but the fact that the writers keep holding onto this platonic thing will never not piss me off 😭
and i wholeheartedly agree with this person. it's not just the realities of actually working in a real kitchen and so on, even the way the characters are presented in the show, the way the show is edited, the music, like???? it's gaslighting at this point!
i wrote whole essay length post with my opinions on race politics not of the show, but the real world, that nobody seems to think about in terms of why the show is the way it is in regard to sydcarmy. but it was a bit much, i feel like 😭. so for now it sits in my drafts 😭 if this post gets a considerable amount of interaction i might post it, but again, i felt like red string guy writing it 😭.
i already made a post about my feelings about sydcarmy, but somehow i went even deeper down the rabbit hole and have more meta stuff to say about this all. like, i need to get it off my chest 😭lol
because before there was sydcarmy, there was ichabbie. (spoilers for sleepy hollow)
i was already on tumblr back then and witnessed what happened, and not to be dramatic, but i feel like the bear is beginning to mirror what happened to sleepy hollow. yes, they are not equal in the sense that one show heavily baited the ship, only to make a 180 turn. while with the bear, sydcarmy might be down to interpretation. however, that doesn't add or take away from the point i want to make.
so essentially the sleepy hollow (2013) tv show, that starred nicole beharie (abbie mills) and tom mison (ichabod crane), was a surprise success when it first aired and got renewed for a second season after just three episodes. it garnered a large viewership, many of whom were black women, obvs. due to nicole beharie starring in the show. and what happened, then, is that a lot of viewers began to ship the abbie mills character with the ichabod crane character. if you watch the show, it's quite frankly hard not to ship the two of them, they had a lot of chemistry on screen and brought a kind of lightness to a show that had many (light) horror elements. if you are already a fandom kind of person, shipping is just what happens. some might say the ship was bait, others say the show runners were taken by surprise that the ship was so popular, i simply don't know.
what happened next apparently (i have no way of verifying it, but it was in the air at the time as well) is that the creators of the show disliked the fact that the show had garnered a large following of black women viewers and that these viewers shipped the two co-stars. it is also now known that there was mistreatment of nicole beharie on set by some of the show runners, like making her work while she was sick, while tom mison got to fly back to england to recover when he was sick. or her not being invited to do commentary for the dvd release, among other stuff.
and when it comes to the fandom, i'm not going to go into the depths of the shipping wars that went down (i was not a participant, just an onlooker 😭 lol) but let's just say ichabbie shippers heard the same old veiled racist excuses as to why abbie shouldn't be shipped with ichabod, one being, funnily enough, that ichabod was married (in another century, his wife was not alive anymore, he was a time traveller, but i digress).
since these were simpler times, one of the actors on the show, orlando jones (who played frank irvin, abbie's boss), actually had a tumblr account and heavily interacted with the fans. he too, acknowledged ichabbie and the fandom culture more generally. even the official sleepy hollow twitter account acknowledged the ship. let's just say that the wall between fandom and show people was much more penetrable back then. i feel like this isn't the case with the bear, but then again, i don't interact with any of their official accounts, so there is that.
personally, i checked out halfway through season two. i couldn't access hulu anymore and the show didn't air where i lived at the time. but also, because the story felt like it was beginning to be sacrificed in order to put a damper on all the ichabbie fans. the abbie mills character was being sidelined in her own show and ichabod's wife was revived by the writers and shoehorned back into the story. from what i heard, the outrage of the fans about this, somehow reached the writers room, who went on to put their foot down even more and eventually wrote nicole beharie out of her own show in season 3. her leaving the show was also based on issues happening on set as i already mentioned, she was being mistreated. either way, the show ended up being driven into the ground, it got one more season and that was it.
the general mood of the bear season 3 kind of reminded me of that. sydcarmy, despite just being a ship, is so unliked that there is a very real chance the writers shoehorned characters and plot lines into the story to counteract it. and in so doing, have taken away from the initial feel and vibe of the show imo. all that, just to put a damper on the shippers (many of whom are black women, make of that what you will). and going by the reviews of season 3 many people disliked it, people who aren't shippers and not in fandom culture either. i just find this very interesting, let's see what season 4 will bring...
personally, i have always been the believer in shipping what you want, regardless of whether it makes sense in the story or not. this is how i've always known it in other fandoms as well. at the end of the day it's just another way to consume media. sure, antis have always existed and that is fine too. and even when a ship doesn't become canon, that's part of the experience as well. but it feels sus when everyone fixates on one ship and obsesses over it negatively. and this strangely enough always seems to happen with ships involving black female characters.
ok, this is a little bit scattered, i guess i'm just trying to sort through my thoughts. uh, i'm also still team sydluca 👀 two things can be true at the same time, we contain multitudes, okay?? 😭
What I notice about Syd in Sundae is that Carm bails on her, but she keeps going anyway. All day. Into the night. She does the whole food tour like he's not even there and then some. And then she still ends back up at the restaurant. When he told her she could take the day off if she wanted.
She goes to look for inspiration. She does not have a life outside this work. That's why wants this thing to work so bad. They show photographs in a montage. None of them are current, but you see she used to have friends and that they must have drifted apart.
She never chills! Even in S3 on her time off she's doom scrolling articles of Carm. In S2 she's doing like her dad and looking at all the restaurants that closed recently.
In a lot of ways S2 is sadder to me than S3 because Carmy misses seeing that about her. He doesn't see it at all.
She is so mad at him when they knock the walls of The Beef down, and then she tries to go cook alone and tries to make the pasta dish she came up with that day (she's getting back at him for ditching her, telling herself she doesn't need him to create), and ends up frustrated.
why the table scene is odd if they’re supposed to be "platonic friends"
i‘m not even sydcarmy like that like that, but the thing is interpreting the table scene as romantic is not some far-fetched delusional thinking imo. because why would people who have only known each other for a few weeks, maybe three months atp, speak like this to each other?
even if you disregard the setting and how it's shot and how they're sitting there, saying "i would‘t even wanna do it without you." is something one would either say to their best best friend whom they’ve known for years and years and been through thick and thin with, or to someone they really have very strong romantic feelings for. one would not however say it to someone they only know for a couple of weeks and hired to run a restaurant with. like, at this point they‘ve barely known each other long enough to become any kind of friend, let alone "platonic friends".
imo, friendship is about the past, a person becomes "someone we know" and the relationship deepens and become stronger based on how much time and life is lived together, how we support each other etc… friendship ripens over time and the longer one has know each other, the stronger the friendship becomes. love on the other hand is about the future. it‘s a strong emotion that makes us make promises, take risks, envision a future and plan for what is to come with a person we barely know. we take a leap in the hopes that this strong (sudden) feeling we have for this person is an indicator for how compatible we are and how good the relationship is going to be.
and thus imo, saying something like the infamous quote only makes sense if they were either friends who knew each other for a long time or have fallen for and have feelings for each other.
but, by the table scene, they don‘t know each other long enough for him to say that based on friendship because not enough time has passed. i can see him saying that to richie or mike, but not syd, because who is she to him at that point? a young woman he just hired a couple of weeks ago so his fast-food spot wouldn’t completely go down the drain.
but if that moment is about the future (and thus about love) it makes sense. it‘s almost like a romantic promise, i will do this hard thing but only if you‘re by my side because i have feelings for you. and with those feelings fuelling me i can do this and i want to do it for you.
Syd’s advice to Carmy about friend that’s a girl, etc. I never read it as jealousy, because she wants this restaurant to work very badly, and she told her dad she’s doesn’t think she has another one in in her.
So, on one level, she was kind of trying to help him out and play it cool, like she always does. At the same time, they show her making this face while he is thinking about it after she tells him: "I just think you need to decide."
She gave him advice that she didn't really want to have to give. But really, this is what you want your friends to do, right? They give their opinion based on your best interests, and then let you decide for yourself. Syd is being the "friend that's a girl" and she knows it.
Because that is the choice she would make. She would always put the restaurant first (he does not), even if she doesn't get what she wants personally. Syd seems to do this a lot.
Syd definitely has that boundary between work life and personal life. Her reaction to Marcus asking her out at work confirms this. She keeps a boundary there so she can't get hurt if someone lets her down at work (and Carmy does) and she can quickly move on. Syd spends all her time at work or thinking about work, btw. She's kind of consumed by it, even more than Carm, I think.
So, in her mind, this also confirms to her that Carm sees her as a friend, and not anything else. Which is "what she wanted", right? It's interesting to think about the times when he says that, because it definitely seems like he's giving her the option to ask for something else. But it's because he's indirect and trying to get around the walls she's put up without having to really put himself out there as well.
Also convinced that Carm backs off and tries to move on only because Syd will not open up to him. When S2 starts, it feels like they're spending more time together and he's trying to get to know her and keeps asking about her family. When he asks her out to Kasama her first reaction is to accuse: "Are you sending me home?" He thinks she is only interested in the restaurant, not him.
Of note: Syd's dad is often shown offering Syd unsolicited advice about "the restaurant" and the "partnership agreement". He does it passive-aggressively, but he's always talking about Carm.
Oh and also…Carm wants her to tell him to choose the restaurant/her. He wants her to tell him what to do.
I'm supposed to believe that the Bear is about Carmy who wanted the restaurant for himself and Mikey. It was his idea because he excelled in the industry and wanted to create something special with his best friend.
Then his best friend dies, and creating or 'reinventing' a restaurant, his why becomes about fixing his relationship with his brother.
That's the story?
That's not when the story begins.
It begins the day she comes along.
These changes, including mistakenly transforming The Beef into an Old School Brigade, are not to fix his relationship with Mikey; they're because Sydney wants them, or that's what Carmy thinks. That's his objective, that remains unsaid, isn't it?
One reason we get the ever-repeating "this is what you wanted." Because Carmy is subconsciously, or is afraid and aware of the fact that he's doing it for Sydney. That is the surprise for some viewers, isn't it? His and her story begins when they enter each other's lives, not when Mikey passes.
The haters are mad, and they're in total denial. Complete denial and forget that Carmy said this with his whole heart:
His most honest moment.
Just remember, as you watch season 4.
The Bear was for Sydney. The Bear is about Sydney. The Bear is Sydney and Carmy's Story.
don't know if i'll watch season 4 of the bear but just as a disclaimer, whatever sydney adamu does, im on her side. that's my girl. i pledged fealty to her the moment she opened her mouth.
the editing team cut together a scene that depicts Carmy having a panic attack outside. he’s thinking about his ‘girl that’s a friend/girlfriend’ and his dysfunctional family, which causes him to keep panicking. then he thinks of the moment his business partner/friend walked into his life and starts to calm down. the song playing was distorted when he panics with thoughts of his relationship and family, but plays correctly when he starts calming down with memories of meeting his coworker. that edit was shown to chris storer, and approved by him and the studio. and no one on the team wants to acknowledge the romantic implications of what they released ?? absolutely not be so fr
Do I want Carmy to find true peace and happiness? Yes. Do I want him to love himself and heal all the wounds created for the constant abuse in his life? Also yes. Do I want him to to know what is real love and a healthy relationship? Definitely. I don’t want him to suffer
But do I also smile thinking of Carmy running back to Sydney’s apartment after the review, then open the door to find everyone has left and there is only Luca there, and both him and Sydney are cooking together with…more confortable clothes? Oh baby yeah, I need it. It’s not a punch baby is a wake up slap.
I know a lot of my fellow sydcarmy shippers absolutely HATE the idea of a sydluca endgame but for once I am cool with whatever.
You want me to be mad about my good personal friend Sydney Adamu possibly ending up with the only psychologically stable chef ever who is also extremely talented and 6'4"?? Afraid I can't do that
S4 should to start with Syd getting sloppy toppy and having the orgasm of a lifetime. But we, the audience, don’t know who. Boom— cut to the past, and we have to figure out over the course of the season who was the muncher
one thing that irks me about shapiro and his deal for sydney is that he essentially wants her to walk away from something that already exists (the bear) to something that is only a concept at this point. he says he‘s getting money from the same backers as ever and he‘s already choosing locations, but sydney has to essentially take his word for it. sure, it might not be her position to meet investors and stuff like that, but what if shapiro is bluffing or maybe still in the process of securing all that with no guarantees it will work out?
idk, and then there is the review he‘s writing for the bear, essentially his competitor. talk about a conflict of interest.
idk how this process normally goes down, but i feel like syd deserves to at least see more of this restaurant/kitchen she‘s supposed to run before signing. what if it‘s all just sabotage?
