“Zoom University Can Meet Me In Hell”

NC/23 “ur in her dms im tied to her ritualistic alter we are not the same” -totaldowner

[starlight788]

King

[assassinationtipsforladies]

No one has ever warranted a presidential pardon more

[feelingsoftheday]

ⓘ This user is tired.

[notahorseindisguise]

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

[post-uwuifier]

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

[notahorseindisguise]

i feel dirty after reading that

[post-uwuifier]

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

[notahorseindisguise]

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

[post-uwuifier]

When is it my turn to be happy.

[gay-jesus-probably]

As a general rule, if you're having food cravings, you should probably pay attention to that, because it's usually a sign that your body needs something. Like, if you've just finished a workout and are suddenly desperately craving fries? Maybe you're low on salt, you did just sweat a whole bunch. Period cravings for junk food? Your body's under some stress and working hard, you need energy, and foods with a lot of fat and/or sugar are an easy way to get that.

Back in the early 1900's when exploring Antarctica was all the rage, y'know what was a major part of everyones daily rations? Butter. Just butter. The men out on the sledging teams would have cravings to eat entire sticks of butter with nothing else, so that was included in their rations. And that happened because under those extreme circumstances, their bodies desperately needed as many calories as possible, so their diet consisted mainly of butter, chocolate, and animal fat. Eating entire sticks of butter was the healthiest possible diet for them.

That's an extreme example of course, but my point is, there's no such thing as inherently Good or Bad food. Anything that's edible can be healthy under the right circumstances, just like anything can be an unhealthy choice under the wrong circumstances. Your body knows what it needs. Listen to it. Unless you're actively going through a serious medical situation, you do not need a tightly restricted diet. Diet culture is a scam, body fat is natural and healthy, food is good for you, and calories are the fuel your body needs to power its continued survival.

[somethingclevermahogony]

I constantly crave meat. I think I might just be ~queer~

[gay-jesus-probably]

big mood, but all joking aside, if you also mean you're frequently craving red meat you probably have an iron deficiency, you might wanna do something about that.

but if you just meant that you always kinda want some dick, then you are simply living your best life, 10/10, have fun and stay safe

[somethingclevermahogony]

I crave red meat and salmon (specifically raw) fairly often

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay yeah, definitely an iron deficiency for the red meat, and it could also explain the salmon, that's also a good source of iron. The fish craving might also mean you're after omega-3's, vitamin D and/or vitamin B2. No idea why you want your salmon raw tho, maybe get a thing of sushi and see if that does something for you.

though the craving for red meat and raw salmon may indicate that you are actually just a bear. ...a literal bear, not just a large hairy gay man. congrats on your new fursona.

[curieklei]

[toastbutteregg]

[depsidase]

[puertohurraco]

The epic of Gilgamesh

[libertineangel]

OP cannot understand a warrior’s bond

[orteil42]

would you date a hater

god. in a heartbeat

[wordfather]

*seductively* doomed by the narrative all by yourself, handsome?

[brawltogethernow]

*reveals traits that foil yours* Not for long.

[moldavite-moved]

to be honest

[femgineerasolution]

@cindernet-explorer I'm stealing your tags because 100% yes

[scheidungsgrund]

from twitter user deejaygeejaygee

[galecstatic]

it just gets better

and better

[goingonanadventuremaybe]

[funnyfroge]

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[brightlotusmoon]

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

ooooh I wholeheartedly agree

my archive is full of said classic posts, if anyone wants to make this happen :)

[streetlight-spam]

fuck it we crawl 🐛

[guerrillatech]

[heartseeker]

i do im celebrating my dogs birthday

shes turning 2

[awbrainno]

I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday

[storms-and-illness]

celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone

[canyourlawnmowerdothis]

im full of an untamable rage that constantly seethes beneath my skin but im a real laid back dude dont worry about that

[noble-moon]

this is to the guy in the electronics department at walmart who when I approached and said “game” because it was the only word that would come to me, went “yeah” and walked me straight to tears of the kingdom, no questions asked

[toastbutteregg]