(Oopsâ not me projecting my own depressive thoughts into an extremely self-indulgent little fanfiction starring my emotional support boyfriend!! Really though, Iâve been pretty down the last few days, and writing this was vv therapeutic for me. I was going to private this, but I figured that if it helped me, it might be comforting for some else, too :â) I just think that he would be the best person to comfort me asdfghjkl)
âSylvain,â you say, catching his attention as youâre walking beside him.
He scoops you up into his arms with such fervor that you can feel the love seeping from his skin as he holds you tightly and you truly feel like the most important person in his world, onlookers be damned! Sylvain could care less about their opinions. When he heard the small quiver in your voice as you asked for a hug, he poured all of his earnest affection into this embrace. Itâs all purely innocent, with no underlying intentions to manipulate the action to a more sinful direction. There is romanticism and a closeness that can only be observed in that of lovers, but the kiss he presses to your shoulder is only to affirm what isnât said out loud â he wants to make sure that you are okay and to remind you of his love. Sylvain doesnât need to verbalize these thoughts for you to be able to comprehend them.
He doesnât show any signs of parting before you are ready to let go, and you really donât want to, but you can feel the sharp prickling sting of tears threatening to spill, and maybe it would be better to go some place private where you can talk to him and fully unveil your wounds, invisible as they appear, but you still harbor demons, and theyâve been clawing at your ribcage and rattling in your bones for too long that you know that if you so much as say one word, the blackness of their velvet hands will spit out like an inky fountain, splattering all those around you with their pestilence; but, youâre thankful for the man who stands in front of you, the one who can read you like a book, the one youâve bared your soul and darkened thoughts to.
With just once glance at your glassy, watery eyes, he takes the initiative and leads you to an empty, unassuming alleyway amidst the bustling atmosphere of the city, and the minute he asks you whatâs bothering you, the floodgates open, lurching you forward to sob into the safety of his strong arms. Sylvain wants to wipe away all of your sadness and tears and anxieties, but heâll settle for sliding down against the stone walls of an apothecary, cradling you in his embrace until you feel coherent enough to bite past the tears and your hitched, ragged breathing to speak.
He despises how broken and small you sound, not you, never you, but he loathes that there is something with enough force and influence to cause you to feel this way. You tell him of the lingering, painful thoughts that sometimes find themselves at the forefront of your mind, telling you that you arenât good enough, you arenât strong enough, you are weak and undeserving. You tell him that you try so hard to maintain an optimistic viewpoint, but itâs so difficult and exhausting to keep up this facade when you are hurting so deeply. You tell him that you love him and are so grateful for him, but most of all, you tell him that you feel as if you arenât enough for him and youâre scared â terrified â that heâll wake up one day and realize that youâre truly awful, leaving you cold and alone to wither away and die. You tell him that you abhor this feeling that reverberates inside of your skull and that you desperately wish that your mind would cease this incessant and aggravating torture.
Sylvain has always known you as someone generous and kind and so loving and so patient with him, but he was also aware that you, much like him, donned a mask, concealing and repressing your darker thoughts; he saw through the cracks just as you saw through his own mask. But, he was unaware of just how deeply the cracks ran, delving deep in the foundation of your very being and threatening the core essence of the person you were above it all. Youâd been a comfort for one another, a constant through war and the reformation of a broken country. With the whirlwind of change that has transpired since your days in the academy, youâve given each other stability and security. To find out that you were hurting, through it all, and youâve hidden it so well, it pains him greatly.
He affirms you that you are, and always shall be, âthe absolute love of his lifeâ; there is nothing that will ever change that. He tells you how brave and resilient you are and how proud he is of the beautiful, amazing person that youâve become â youâre a victor amongst the turbulence of an unfair war. Sylvain avows that while he may not fully understand exactly how you feel, he will do everything in his power to help you and comfort you and ease that burden. He reminds you of all that youâve accomplished, and he laughs as he recounts his favorite memories that youâve shared together.
He presses a kiss to your temple and hums against your skin, âyouâre enough, youâre loved, youâre so strong and smart and kindâ and all of the other thoughts that his gentle affections verbalize. It may only be temporary reprieve for however long until youâre met with your demons, but right now it is enough.
Sylvain showers you in extra flirtatious comments and kisses that evening, and when the mood gradually shifts towards something sultry and passionate, he devotes the night to showcasing his physical love and adoration for you, layering you with praises and all of the bliss and admiration that your body can handle before he and you emerge a tangle of limbs and you fall asleep to the sound of his even, rhythmic heartbeat, your head against his naked chest, only thinking of how loved you are.
