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my tumblr messenger doesnt work! I'll get a notification but i cant read any messages! If you wanna chat, use my side blog @happylittleotter

[kiss-kiss-fuck-me-up]

Some dumb guy trying to make Sigourney Weaver seem more attractive for a movie:

A very smart man who definitely consulted a lesbian:

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

That man was John Mollo btw and I only know that bc he did the costume design for Star Wars also

[bill]

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[12313234578686856746877-deactiv]

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

[skarchomp]

one of the millions of things i liked about spider-verse was that not only did all the female characters look different from each other, they gave mary jane her classic dimples and square chin, which might not seem like a big deal but you’d be surprised how much tiny details like those can make women in comic books look distinct

[skarchomp]

also seriously it feels like some animated films are pushing it to have two female characters who look even slightly different so i appreciate that spider-verse made sure every woman in it looked distinct from each other

[caveangelascendant]

[nest-deactivated20181209]

i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths

[lostalive]

A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.

[johannesviii]

In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.

[antique-scarecrow]

i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved

[blogging-at-your-funeral]

[rigil-kentauris]

*me, getting ready to hit you with a sick-ass keyboard smash*:

[deadddeviant]

I see your Palm keyboard and raise an IBM Butterfly keyboard. 

[jennifire]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE

[hyratel]

it’s called “the late 90s/early 00s was a WILD time in consumer electronics”

[the-highwitch]

Low key miss those days…

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[glumshoe]

Sometimes people will ask me things like “Oh no! I had a sexy dream with someone I’m not attracted to! What does it mean?”

Chances are, absolutely nothing. Sometimes your brain just churns out garbage because it can. Don’t worry about it.

[paulblart-mallgoth-deactivated2]

The only sex dreams I’ve ever had were about Belle’s dad from beauty and the beast (shower sex) and a genuinely traumatizing dream about Mozart

[glumshoe]

oh

[bagrijana]

Auntie Hella checking on the Papillon puppies… she never had a litter of her own so she always cared for all the pups born here at #tantezampekennel

[gooddogbestfriend]

imagine having such a beautiful fairy godmother

[lornagonigall]

this is the content that keeps me on this fucking site

[sylviadorthea]

A kind and gentle horse keeps her horselings safe

[rosmaryne]

tbh spider-man is such a chill superhero you could ask him to escort you home bc you don’t feel safe and he’d be like ‘ok sure no sweat’ I’m sure he’d even help you with your groceries meanwhile the other avengers be like ‘the world isn’t in danger so you don’t need my help’

[psyducktective]

Thor would help with your groceries fight me

[rosmaryne]

you are abso-fucking-lutely right

[danielkanhai]

whenever people talk about primal urges half the time they’re talking about something sexual, but it’s like, sometimes you just gotta climb a flight of stairs like that, you know? it’s like my body is telling me, “buddy, five thousand years ago everyone would have bolted up stairs on all fours. it’s okay, it’s natural.”

[lucilliasheyff]

Primal is sneaking out to your kitchen in the dead if night as your head swivels around checking for danger while stuff snack into your arms and standing stone still in the shadows whenever you hear something

[lierdumoa]

exhibit a: predator instinct 

exhibit b: prey instinct

[hotboyproblems]

all of these have the same energy

[bearie]

if your neighborhood looks like this you need to paypal me $100

[narwhaled]

this is an average looking neighbourhood wym

[bearie]

paypal.me/nursepeach

[bellatrick-deactivated20230430]

Lol yeah some people forget others ain’t middle class citizens

[oleathe]

This is the “some of y’all grew up with granite islands in your kitchens and it shows” post personified

[unclefather]

[kidzbopmallcop]

[valtsv]

the ultimate Gay Experience™ is seeing another gay person in public but not knowing how to make it obvious to them that you’re a fellow gay without letting everyone else also know that you’re gay so you just stare until they get creeped out and probably think you’re just really homophobic or something

[valtsv]

me trying to communicate to other gay people that i too am a member of the LGBT Gang: