Since the dawn of the new daregon age, brave young souls all across Thedas have sought to resist drugs and violence. These proud members of the D.A.R.E program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) believe it immensely important to remain vigilant in itsā core values- such as not doing drugs or joining gangs.
(Y/N) Cousland had always felt they were good at resisting peer pressure. Even as the entire Cousland family was gravely wounded but not entirely slaughtered before their very eyes, they thought of what it meant to be drug free.
āYoung Couslandā¦ā said Bryce Cousland, unsure which of his children he was speaking to as he bled out on the floor, āyou must listen closely. Arl Howe arranged this attack on us because of our strong stance on drugs and violence. You can not let my untimely passing shake your faith. Take the Mabari drug hound with you, and get out of here.ā
(Y/N) could only respond through tears āoh father, I cannot leave you here alone. Luckily, mother will stay here with you. If only the author had been able to play this cutscene further without the game crashing like hell, I may know that Iāll see one and/or both of you again.ā
āDare to beā¦ drug freeā¦ā he rasped out in his dying breath, dyingly.
(Y/N) Cousland could have never dreamed they would go from being a noble to a freelance police officer. On this occasion, they had been sent alongside other grey warden recruits to kill darkspawn in the Korcari wilds. Being that the woods are not a designated camp area, these beasts were able to spawn in and wreak havoc amongst trees and small animals.
But darkspawn were not the scariest thing lurking about the wildsā¦
āWant to buy some drugs?ā Asked Morrigan, holding up a pouch of drugs.
Morrigan was a drug runner for her evil drug lord mother, Flemethā who had taken so many drugs that she could turn into a dragon at will. This was one of the many known scary side effects of drugs.
āBegone, witch!ā Yelled Daveth, an unimportant character whose name was incredibly hard to find. āWe are grey warden recruits, and we would never do a drug!ā
Alistair looked around nervously, having already completed the joining ritual.
Daveth continued, āEven if we were peer pressured, we would never! I would rather be stabbed than do something so vile likeā¦ like do drugs!ā
āBut you wouldnāt *actually* want to get stabbed for not doing drugs in a peer-pressure, somewhat cult-like scenario, right?ā Asked Alistair āI mean, maybe you you could just do one sip of drugs for-ā
āI would *never* drink drugs!ā He declared. āEven in a cult-like scenario! That goes against all values of DARE!ā
*How brave,* thought the self insert Cousland, *what a memorable man Daveth is- so willing to fight for his beliefs, even in the face of a hot woman like Morrigan offering high quality, designer drugs. Thank Andraste or whichever gods the couslands were chill with that Daveth will be around to help us maintain our values throughout the game.*
The witch Morrigan, having observed all of this, simply laughed as she twirled the pouch between her fingers.
āSuit yourself, then.ā
Swiftly, she took out a spell scroll from an unknown pocket to do a quick like of cocaine, disappearing into the powder with a magical *poof*
It was a scary moment, only moments away from disaster. How easily temptation comes in these wild landsā¦.
After slaying 3 darkspawn- one for each character in the party excluding Alistair- the group headed back to camp for the drug-free joining ritual. See, darkspawn do not have much blood. Simply killing one darkspawn does not provide enough blood for multiple vials. The average darkspawn has only enough blood for one vial! This is a true and real fact.
It had been said by many that joining the grey wardens was a noble cause. But now, as the (y/n) Cousland stood at the joining site, they werenāt so sure anymore. The chalice held darkspawn blood, which seemed to be basically a drug.
Alistair began to recite the ancient texts.
āJoin us, mostly men but women inclusive. And if you die, itās okay, because we will eventually die too..ā
Duncan brought forward the drug chalice, handing it to Daveth. As the first to partake in the ritual, story beats dictate that he must quickly meet his end. He writhed on the floor as he died a painful death- all because he folded so quick on his values. This is the effect of even one drug. One sip of drug is enough to kill a man, maybe even a horse.
*Noā¦ * they thoughtā¦ *I cannot be peer pressured into joining this gang, whose initiation requires me to take drugs. This goes against all my core values. If I were to take a drug here, it would go against everything I have worked so hard for. Oh, what would my father say, that I have found myself in such a situation so soon after his untimely off screen demiseā¦*
āYou knew?!ā Yelled the gender inclusive Cousland, āyou knew about the drugs all this time and never told me?!ā
Alistair could only look to the floor in shame
āI believed if I told you, you wouldnāt have left. The grey wardens need more recruits. Iām sorryā¦ā
Then, Duncan moved to another recruit. the slightly less rendered recruit held his sword out, defending himself from drug usage.
āNo, please, I have to get home to my wife and child!ā Cried the other guy from the joining quest line, Jory, whose name was even harder to find. He was subsequently stabbed by Duncan, holding the knife in one hand and the drug chalice in the other as he apologized for having to kill that guy.
Now (Y/N) Cousland was the only one left. Would they die for their cause, just as Jory had done? By resisting drugs and getting stabbed.
Or
Would they die as Daveth had done, against their cause by taking drugs.
āā¦ well, I suppose if Iām going to die anyways, I might as well see what this ādrugsā thing is all about.ā
With that, they grabbed the chalice and took a mighty gulp of the darkspawn blood/archdemon blood/lyrium combo, preparing themself for the sweet release of death.
āAndraste?ā The player character called into the light āis that you?ā
*why have you forsaken me, childā¦. You dared to be drug freeā¦*
āAndraste!ā The bowed āforgive me, o mighty Andraste! I was peer pressured into joining a gang, and felt drugs could be my only escape!ā
*your only escape is through salvationā¦. Return to the land, spread the gospel of anti-drug Andraste. But remember this, that you have sinned. Now go forth, and create an army of Dare-ers!*
Standing above them, Alistair and Duncan. Alistair breathed a sigh of relief, offering his hand. He spoke with a smile as he pulled the Cousland to their feet.
āThere are better places to take naps than on the ground, you knowā¦ā
It was a miracle. (Y/N) Cousland had survived the joining, having been saved by the grace of Andraste. They knew what they had to do. It was their god given destiny to save the world, but mostly Thedas, from the blight that was consuming it. The blight of drug usage.
ā I dareā¦ā dared Cousland daringly āto be drug free.ā
This is the biggest flop of a fic Iāve ever had and i cannot express how happy that makes me. Yāall I was almost completely sober writing it. This is art, this is modern art. Iām so proud of this trash. This is the worst thing Iāve ever written. This is the best thing Iāve ever written.
Since the dawn of the new daregon age, brave young souls all across Thedas have sought to resist drugs and violence. These proud members of the D.A.R.E program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) believe it immensely important to remain vigilant in itsā core values- such as not doing drugs or joining gangs.
(Y/N) Cousland had always felt they were good at resisting peer pressure. Even as the entire Cousland family was gravely wounded but not entirely slaughtered before their very eyes, they thought of what it meant to be drug free.
āYoung Couslandā¦ā said Bryce Cousland, unsure which of his children he was speaking to as he bled out on the floor, āyou must listen closely. Arl Howe arranged this attack on us because of our strong stance on drugs and violence. You can not let my untimely passing shake your faith. Take the Mabari drug hound with you, and get out of here.ā
(Y/N) could only respond through tears āoh father, I cannot leave you here alone. Luckily, mother will stay here with you. If only the author had been able to play this cutscene further without the game crashing like hell, I may know that Iāll see one and/or both of you again.ā
āDare to beā¦ drug freeā¦ā he rasped out in his dying breath, dyingly.
(Y/N) Cousland could have never dreamed they would go from being a noble to a freelance police officer. On this occasion, they had been sent alongside other grey warden recruits to kill darkspawn in the Korcari wilds. Being that the woods are not a designated camp area, these beasts were able to spawn in and wreak havoc amongst trees and small animals.
But darkspawn were not the scariest thing lurking about the wildsā¦
āWant to buy some drugs?ā Asked Morrigan, holding up a pouch of drugs.
Morrigan was a drug runner for her evil drug lord mother, Flemethā who had taken so many drugs that she could turn into a dragon at will. This was one of the many known scary side effects of drugs.
āBegone, witch!ā Yelled Daveth, an unimportant character whose name was incredibly hard to find. āWe are grey warden recruits, and we would never do a drug!ā
Alistair looked around nervously, having already completed the joining ritual.
Daveth continued, āEven if we were peer pressured, we would never! I would rather be stabbed than do something so vile likeā¦ like do drugs!ā
āBut you wouldnāt *actually* want to get stabbed for not doing drugs in a peer-pressure, somewhat cult-like scenario, right?ā Asked Alistair āI mean, maybe you you could just do one sip of drugs for-ā
āI would *never* drink drugs!ā He declared. āEven in a cult-like scenario! That goes against all values of DARE!ā
*How brave,* thought the self insert Cousland, *what a memorable man Daveth is- so willing to fight for his beliefs, even in the face of a hot woman like Morrigan offering high quality, designer drugs. Thank Andraste or whichever gods the couslands were chill with that Daveth will be around to help us maintain our values throughout the game.*
The witch Morrigan, having observed all of this, simply laughed as she twirled the pouch between her fingers.
āSuit yourself, then.ā
Swiftly, she took out a spell scroll from an unknown pocket to do a quick line of cocaine, disappearing into the powder with a magical *poof*
It was a scary moment, only moments away from disaster. How easily temptation comes in these wild landsā¦.
After slaying 3 darkspawn- one for each character in the party excluding Alistair- the group headed back to camp for the drug-free joining ritual. See, darkspawn do not have much blood. Simply killing one darkspawn does not provide enough blood for multiple vials. The average darkspawn has only enough blood for one vial! This is a true and real fact.
It had been said by many that joining the grey wardens was a noble cause. But now, as the (y/n) Cousland stood at the joining site, they werenāt so sure anymore. The chalice held darkspawn blood, which seemed to be basically a drug.
Alistair began to recite the ancient texts.
āJoin us, mostly men but women inclusive. And if you die, itās okay, because we will eventually die too..ā
Duncan brought forward the drug chalice, handing it to Daveth. As the first to partake in the ritual, story beats dictate that he must quickly meet his end. He writhed on the floor as he died a painful death- all because he folded so quick on his values. This is the effect of even one drug. One sip of drug is enough to kill a man, maybe even a horse.
*Noā¦ * they thoughtā¦ *I cannot be peer pressured into joining this gang, whose initiation requires me to take drugs. This goes against all my core values. If I were to take a drug here, it would go against everything I have worked so hard for. Oh, what would my father say, that I have found myself in such a situation so soon after his untimely off screen demiseā¦*
āYou knew?!ā Yelled the gender inclusive Cousland, āyou knew about the drugs all this time and never told me?!ā
Alistair could only look to the floor in shame
āI believed if I told you, you would have left. The grey wardens need more recruits. Iām sorryā¦ā
Then, Duncan moved to another recruit. the slightly less rendered recruit held his sword out, defending himself from drug usage.
āNo, please, I have to get home to my wife and child!ā Cried the other guy from the joining quest line, Jory, whose name was even harder to find. He was subsequently stabbed by Duncan, holding the knife in one hand and the drug chalice in the other as he apologized for having to kill that guy.
Now (Y/N) Cousland was the only one left. Would they die for their cause, just as Jory had done? By resisting drugs and getting stabbed.
Or
Would they die as Daveth had done, against their cause by taking drugs.
āā¦ well, I suppose if Iām going to die anyways, I might as well see what this ādrugsā thing is all about.ā
With that, they grabbed the chalice and took a mighty gulp of the darkspawn blood/archdemon blood/lyrium combo, preparing themself for the sweet release of death.
āAndraste?ā The player character called into the light āis that you?ā
*why have you forsaken me, childā¦. You dared to be drug freeā¦*
āAndraste!ā The bowed āforgive me, o mighty Andraste! I was peer pressured into joining a gang, and felt drugs could be my only escape!ā
*your only escape is through salvationā¦. Return to the land, spread the gospel of anti-drug Andraste. But remember this, that you have sinned. Now go forth, and create an army of Dare-ers!*
Standing above them, Alistair and Duncan. Alistair breathed a sigh of relief, offering his hand. He spoke with a smile as he pulled the Cousland to their feet.
āThere are better places to take naps than on the ground, you knowā¦ā
It was a miracle. (Y/N) Cousland had survived the joining, having been saved by the grace of Andraste. They knew what they had to do. It was their god given destiny to save the world, but mostly Thedas, from the blight that was consuming it. The blight of drug usage.
ā I dareā¦ā dared Cousland daringly āto be drug free.ā
And let it be known I write for LEAGUE Viktor. With the half-baked, all over the place, early 2000ās lore. Big ass armor suit. Fucked up hair. EVIL MAN!!!! YES!!!! robot hell! Firing lasers and whatever! Stupid dance emote. Damn. What.
Theres a better way to do this. He knows theres a better way to do this. You know theres a better way to do this. And yet here you both are, the mostly robot cyborg man hoisting you on his shoulders as you attempt to change the lightbulb that's gone out.Ā
āAlright. I've got a grip on it. Start spinning counter-clockwise.ā
He really did try to convince you to justā¦ let him use his claw. It would have taken half a minute, if that. The two of you could move on with your life. Get actual work done.
ā...No.ā he responds, clearly agitated by your incompetence. āDo you not know how to remove a lightbulb? Use your wrist.ā
A stepladder. A chair. A stack of books. All things which are nearby and very easily accessible. Yet you insisted being lifted up was the only way to get this done.
āIām not going to hit this light with my wrist, Viktor. Iām not made of metal like you. I'll bleed out. Weāll have to sterilize the whole lab again.ā
He sighs. Despite his mostly stoic demeanor, he's learned he can still sigh. Something about you seems to make him do that often.Ā
āGrab. The lightbulb. With your hand.ā he says in short and direct sentences, praying to any god that will listen that somehow, someway, this information will get through your thick skull. āTurn. the lightbulb.ā
āI feel like youāre trying to avoid participating hereā¦ā you respond, looking down at him- or, at least, as much as you can. āJust spin around! donāt you feel like that's more 50/50 in terms of removing the lightbulb?ā
This is not a task that requires equal effort. You know this. He is sure you know this. Still, this has already taken a good five minutes of his time, and heās willing to comply just to get this over with. Begrudgingly, and against his better judgment, he turns once.
āOH! Sorry, I wasnāt ready!ā you call out, having taken your hand off the lightbulb some time ago, āMy bad! Do that again, Iāll be ready this time!.ā
He sees red. Within an instant, you've been removed from his shoulders and unceremoniously placed on the floor. His hexclaw reaching up and violently grabbing the lightbulb.
Heyyyyy!! Do you think you can show us more of your Rio's plush? It looks so cute !!
OF COURSE!! I went back and tried to see if I had any old progress pictures or anything. Rioās currently at my house (and I, my dorm), so I hope this suffices until I can get more pictures! Thanks so much!
My rio friend has a zipper on its mouth for storage, and backpack straps for easy carrying!
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