it seems like everyone comes to a reckoning eventually
living life is difficult. having utter freedom to decide every aspect of your existence without an overarching narrative/influence/guidance/structure is paralyzing. finding meaning and purpose is confusing, and worst of all, there is no right answer. making friends is challenging and it’s easy to become isolated when social contact through circumstance isn’t guaranteed.
it’s true whether figuring it out after graduating from the structured microcosm of high school, or college, or grad school, or med school; it’s true whether figuring it out after dedicating yourself to the military, with fellow servicemembers, or to being a professional athlete, with fellow teammates, or to being a child actor, with fellow cast members, or to being a touring musician, with fellow band members. it’s true whether you burned out working 60+ hours a week for 20 years and now you’re 40 and questioning it all, or whether you’re facing down the barrel of working 60+ hours a week for 20 years even though you’re only 20 and still questioning it all. there is no complete “escape” from the same base struggle of being human, no matter what path you choose.
and so, how much of the pursuit of these things are a distraction? how much of the dedication is also a pushing off, a delaying of the reality that eventually, you will have to find a way to get through each day, and there might not be a reason for it?
there might not be lessons, or a training session - the next big exam, the next big project, the next big competition, the Next Big Thing.
interestingly, i’m not asking this question with any sense of dread, for once. it’s more of curiosity. simply considering that, although life is a series of choices and investments, self-directed, it is not ONLY the projects and goals and decisions that we set for ourselves that make up a life. the quiet in-between moments come eventually, and they come for everyone.
knowing that - what should the quiet, in-between moments look like? what does it mean to enjoy them with grace?