Okay, look, I don't know what trans person out there needs to hear this, but you need to be kinder to yourself.
You can be unhappy with your appearance, clothing options, style, etc. I'm not going to deny you that, I'm there with you. What I mean is you're not a horrible person for making mistakes, getting things wrong, making stupid choices or even bad ones; you're learning. You should remember the reasons why you'll make better choices in the future, take better actions, learn new things, create better habits, etc, but you shouldn't let your failings beat you endlessly over the head. You shouldn't constantly put yourself down because you don't think you deserve kindness, complements, or even praise. The fun thing about 'deserving' nice things, is you often don't get to decide what good things you do deserve, especially when the kindness is coming from friends, because that's how they're showing they appreciate you.
Your worst critic isn't giving you the "real take" on who you are, they're highlighting the worst without comparing any of who you are with your best. That worst critic is you. Learn to tell yourself to shut the hell up, and accept the kindness, complements, and care others show you.
The simplest way to put it is: You need to be kinder to yourself, and ditch the self-depreciating internal and external commentary and jokes. It's not helping you, it's tearing you down. It's self-destructive. Focus on building yourself up. You and everyone else around you will appreciate that much more. And if you don't know where to start, then my suggestion is to find a gender affirming therapist. Get help; you deserve it. Not because you're broken, but because you deserve the upgrade, the improvement.
It's something I'm doing now myself. It's something that's making me feel better about a lot of things.
