[szarina]

Girl i love all of ur work but i was really waiting for ur kinktober25 ( idk if u scrapped it but wtv) mainly ur atsumu miya fic 😔

I'm so sorry nonnie. I was really in a pinch and I was having trouble finishing my fics. I hope one day I can really write long fics again including Kinktober and finish it all. Thank you very much for you patient and support.

[szarina]

My life's going downhill ever since and Valko's the good news that sincerely brought a smile to me again and they just have to do that to him. I feel like a wife waiting for a husband that died in a war.

[szarina]

the sixth love interest, valko. got my pussy drooling.

he's going to breed the shit out of me

[szarina]

forget him now, infold cancelled him and won't be including him in the new update this coming july 9. fuck the Chinese girlies

[szarina]

valko's existence postponed my impending suicide

[szarina]

It's Valko, ladies and gentlemen. The sixth love interest.

[szarina]

the sixth love interest, valko. got my pussy drooling.

[szarina]

my comeback for writing nonmc fic will be delicious. valko with chubby nonmc

[szarina]

the sixth love interest, valko. got my pussy drooling.

he's going to breed the shit out of me

[szarina]

conflict of interestּ

it is every player's dream to wake up in the world of their otome game but not you, you're not the mc or the heroine of the game that was supposed to be you. in some twisted joke the universe decided for you — you get to live and survive the ruthless n109 zone where your main love interest resides.

── commissioned by @jamjyro

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִ content warnings. isekaid reader + nonmc + gun violence + depictions of disposing corpses + anxiety + coercion + blood + angst + there will be a part 2.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִ notes. hey you all, it's been a long time since the last time I've posted. thank you very much for the patience and the support that you had given me through this difficulties of my life. i'm still adjusting and little bit struggling. once again, thank you very much for still sticking in this ghosty blog of mine.

Bang!

Shots are fired. Followed by the familiar deafening sounds of heavy machine guns rolling outside and the screech of wheels. You jolted awake that you almost roll and fall from your makeshift bed. What the hell is happening at this hour and in broad daylight? That was expected cause you live in the N109 Zone but you were still not used of the people here exchanging bullets.

But why? Why here? You want to scream in frustration as you crawled in the floor of the building you decided to be your base, a temporary home after being isekaid in a game that you play every single day. It's almost unhealthy from how you obsessed with it and then when you wanted to quit, you got thrown inside the game. What a stroke of luck. Funny. Ha-ha. The game fucking sent you to the unforgiven land of N109 Zone. How the hell can you survive when you got the survival skill of a hamster.

It was going to be fine if you possessed the body of your MC that you spent hours customizing to look like you or somewhat closer to what you look like and only to stare at a mirror and see your real life reflection cluelessly staring.

You spent the first hour agonizing on how you can survive. Thinking how nice if you have a somewhat useful Evol but you don't. You were fucked. You were clueless in where you are at first when you woke up in the middle of the road at first.

No clue in your surroundings until the gunshots came and the angry shouts. Superfucked. And that’s when you realized you were in the N109 Zone. Ultra duper superfucked. The tall buildings, moldy walls in the dark alleyways and there was some sort of shadows lurking in the walls.

It was hard for your first days. You were cold and hungry. Exhausted and clueless on where to start until you remembered Elysium. The place were information are exchanged and under the protection of Sylus.

Yeah, Sylus. Your main in the game and you didn't know what to feel. Knowing that you're not your MC and realized that MC is probably the custom avatar of the game. A far cry from your supposed MC or you. Technically you were MC when you're playing but this time you are not. You were starting to believe that you are not truly MC which is true.

Enough of that, if you want to survive you better start relying on your own and learn a few tricks to save your ass. You don't want to die in a foreign land, let alone a land in a fictional game that you're currently in.

You were about to embark in a journey when you remember you didn't have a trade. Elysium was for intelligent information, assassination and trade of arms and other illegal stuff and you don't do illegal. You can't even handle a gun or pull a pin on a grenade. Hacking? Not a plausible idea. You were only good at organizing documents in a computer.

You stopped in your tracks. Careful at your surroundings, your shoulders slump as you agonize on what trade you can offer in exchange for some lump sum of money or shelter or food or all of the above. You were good as a dead meat. You badly want to cry until a light bulb appeared in your head.

The game was basically your manual on how to survive the game or how to live in the N109 Zone. Although people like you won't survive long. It's either to rise in the ashes or drown in the murky waters.

You already finished the main story, starting from Sylus first appearance which made your heart go thump-thump and spent money that almost your whole salary in a month. You read the anecdotes, his myth. You knew everything about him. His personal life and his connection with MC and how he rules the N109 Zone. Onychinus was the top of the hierarchy here. You know how the Elysium operates so that's what you're going to do. Exchange some information about the future canon events that is yet to happen.

The problem is — it was suspicious. You can't really crash in Elysium and tell Aislinn, the bartender about it. Knowing she directly reports to Sylus and the reality that you weren't your MC — you were surely going to end up with a gun to your head. A stranger revealing secrets, it wasn't a ideal way but you really want to live and that weighs more than anything than the fear and so, standing in front of the Elysium — you entered with death’s hand at your shoulder.

For the better, it turned out good. You didn't reveal anything, someone beat you to the punch of revealing and opportunity opened up to you. Even the N109 Zone was lawless and chaotic, some gangs and organizations really didn't want to leave trace of the transactions that occurred in the hidden areas or the docks and warehouses that the deals takes place.

One of the patrons were looking for someone who can take care of that and you volunteered without a second thought. Your safety will be compromised with that line of work but they only is to keep your mouth shut and deal with the bloodied mess — you took it without hesitation. It was rare for someone to take that but you really need money to start or provide yourself with some basic needs and thus, you ended up in your current situation.

Bullets are flying everywhere and you're going to end up as a casualty if you don't move. You grabbed the classic Smith and Wesson handgun you keep even you don't know how to use it but only when the times comes you need to protect yourself. You didn't know it will come to this point.

You intentionally picked this place for your base. It was the abandoned place far from the chaos of the main zone and it wasn't really ideal for wars because it was very far and the terrain wasn't that good. Broken concrete roads and it can be really hot in the mornings. The surrounding buildings are covered with moss and the fauna was slowly taking over. It wasn't ideal for you to live in the area but it provides safety except now.

A stray bullet pierced to a glass window near you. The glass shatters as it broke and falls near your feet. Without a second thought you immediately crawl. Grabbing the small bag you keep under your bed when you need to run immediately. You grip it tightly as you stand up and bolted away from where you are. The building was still sturdy but the previous gang wars and the Chronorift Catastrophe left it to be abandoned like the other surrounding buildings.

As you descended from the stairs, you held the gun close to you. Your fingers finds the hammer of the gun and hearing the familiar click, you swallowed hardly. Tapping your varsity jacket pockets to check if you have the extra magazines in case you need to reload if you — you hope not, you have to fire in case of self defense.

God, why must you be transported in such a hostile place. You would accept to wake up in a hospital — preferably Akso Hospital and be declared as someone who had amnesia and is truly clueless of what's happening and maybe you can get a glimpse of Dr. Zayne.

You could have gone to Linkon City but you didn't have an identity with you and getting out of N109 Zone needs a special entrance and exit to be granted in order for a individual to leave. The No Hunting Zones was also a way to leave but there's a reason why it was a no hunting zone. It crawls with Wanderers and as a civilian with no Evol, there's a higher chance of you being butchered or succumb to the Flux Nexus.

You're basically a NPC in this world and that sucks more than anything. Where you isekaid here because your main was Sylus? A deepspace tunnel opened and it brought you here. You didn't want to know. It was really disheartening that you have to be here because your main was Sylus. It wasn't like you were hating him or being disappointed. You were basically thrown in a den of lions.

Somehow you managed to survive on your own by being the lackey or you like to call yourself, a cleaner for some of the powerful organizations. You have learned how to remove bloodstains without a trace. The bodies were taken care of by whoever availed your services to clean. You make sure the scene of the crime were spotless as if nothing happened and it was just the same cold and moldy warehouse or alley.

Anyways if you can't get out of this mess, you can kiss your life goodbye.

A sudden burst of adrenaline pumping in your veins made you maneuver the steep stairs and crumbly walls with such ease. Your palm sweaty as it slides in the cold railing. Your body felt like iron as you bump in the walls at every sharp turn. Not bad, self. You want to pat yourself in the back for being able to do such things at your plump stature. You feel like the main protagonist from the movie you used to watch and was it the reason you were here in the N109 Zone? You got the prowess for combat? Such tall tales and that was later proven wrong.

You were good at evading not fighting. That's what you're currently doing right now and you almost let out a breath of relief as you pushed the door in the ground floor. Stumbling in the process as your two feet became unsynchronized. A bullet flew right by and it almost sent you tumbling backwards. You badly want to cry. You're not really built for this.

It seems that your escape route hasn't been intercepted and they're far away from it. You can just run and go for it. Except when you're about to breakthrough — out of the corner in your eye — you caught the glimpse of him.

Sylus.

You can't be mistaken. It was hard to miss him. His name was spoken in whispers. In harsh words and in contempt because there's nothing more cruel than the one who rules the N109 Zone. The leader of Onychinus.

You avoided Sylus nor get involved with him. A civilian or rather a powerless human being in his world cannot survive and you cannot risk making enemies at the same time. You kept a low profile in the duration of your stay.

But to see your main love interests breathing and fighting his enemies in flesh made your chest bloom with warmth. The screen was your boundary between him and you. It was the closest you can ever have him. Pressing your fingertips in the cold screen of your phone and hope you can feel his warmth and hoped he can feel yours too.

He was so close and yet, out of your reach.

Suddenly, you were glued in the floor. Your body refusing to move despite your mind screaming for you to run off. Your legs are frozen. You cannot get involved with him. MC exists in this world andthey were destined for each other. He's waiting for her and you left that with the game's dynamics.

The sound of heavy rifles being loaded and the static ringing in the area and Sylus, there wasn't even much of a tremble or quiver in his movements. He was precise and calculated as he draws his gun. Easily replacing it with a new magazine. His dark glasses perched on his nose. He slides the rack before the sound of gunshot fills the air.

Wait, it's morning. Sylus should be asleep at this time and was only active in the night. Does this means he was overwhelmed and clearly ambushed? You run towards a nearly dilapidated beam. Assessing the situation and when you got a closer look, you notice the damp part of his dark collared shirt.

It wasn't visible but with the morning light and his movements that sways his leather jacket, you can see it. You remembered that Sylus can heal himself but he still get wounded and to get that wound — it must be deep for him to heal properly and he's currently bleeding under his clothes.

You did say you weren't going to get involved the moment you realized you weren't MC. Such matters would have sucked and in the time of care you deeply felt for him. Love will get you killed. Indifference will save you. That was the reason you survived upon being isekaid in the lawless land of N109 Zone.

Alas the moment you had fallen in love with Sylus that even the tiniest voice concern of why you shouldn't save someone just because they were in danger or rather they were the danger, it didn't matter.

Arriving at a resolution, you raised your gun. Pointing at him with a slight tremor in your arm and your palms sweaty that you might slip as you push the trigger. You can do it. You really can do it. You take a deep breath and with a exhale. You push the trigger and with a loud bang that resonated in the area — you hit your target.

He really can't say he was at his wit's end. He was Sylus. Ruler of the N109 Zone and being defeated at this foolish game of foolish people who wants him gone is a humiliation that will haunt him at his death. There's a rule among the residents of this land. It's to kill or be killed. And Sylus isn't going to get slaughtered like a lamb.

The sun's high and he was in a little pinch. His eyesight is made for the night and not in the light. He gives these men who managed to use their cards against him to corner the Onychinus leader. They were really pooling their meager resources to kill him but it wasn't enough although he can give them credits for getting a little smarter and Sylus isn't the one to back down from a fight.

He can give them a little recognition of such feat for injuring him. It was a stray bullet that found its way on his abdomen. He can heal — sure but being repeatedly injured, it stops. His shirt was soaking his blood and his enemies were closing in and then, in some twist or fate or luck or another person thirsty for his blood scrapes him by the shoulder with a bullet.

A stray bullet, maybe but whoever shot him and hitting the one who's closing him falling at the scorching road with a thud must be an amateur or was just really lucky for wounding him and maybe killing the other.

Before he can turn around to look at this one who's brave enough to take a shot, they grab his hand. Pulling them with force of urgency. They run, evading his enemies and although Sylus isn't the one back down from a fight, he knew he needed respite.

Turn after turn, him returning the rounds of bullets to his aggressors. He takes a look at this mortal who dared to save him. Navigating narrow alleyways and taking every sharp turns without pausing like you know every part of this place.

The gunshots have stopped, deciding that you successfully shaked them off. You take a look at his face. “There’s a nearby exit here. They probably don't know about the area and you will be safely get back in your own. I'll be going now. Goodbye.” You say with such firmness before running in the opposite direction without looking back.

You disappeared quickly in his sight. The black and white vision of you in your varsity jacket, boots clicking in the distance. Sylus was left with a strange feeling.

Who was this stranger who saved him and only to disappear on him?

Someone could have used this as a chance to curry favors from him. A chance to rise in the top cause the Onychinus leader never left being indebted to others and such act of saving him can bring fortune if he deemed you worthy but alas, he was only left in the abandoned street with no signs of life besides him. Reeling in the sensation of the stranger's soft hand that previously held his wrist.

No data found.

The screen of his laptop glares at him. No traces or evidence that stranger existed. He hacked every database around the world and no record are found about your identity. Are you a spy? A ghost? He knows you weren't a figment of his imagination that one morning. You were warm and you spoke to him.

You must have one cause despite being nonexistent to others or how much a person hides their identity — there will always be traces of a past of how a person lived no matter how much they try to bury it. The Onychinus searched for any activities that might have linked to you and why did you hole up in that kind of building.

He went back there. The buildings were riddled with bullets. Blood stains in the walls of what violence had occured in there. Investigating and leaving no spot untouched just to get a trace that you were there and you exist. What else could you have been doing there? Maybe you were running away from something or you just didn't like anything that relates to the ruthlessness of the place.

You were a mystery he wants to solve and any day now, you will appear. In the most of convenient or the most unwanted places but Sylus was sure that he will be meeting this stranger again.

“Boss, the scene's spotless. Kieran and I been searching for hours at that warehouse.” Luke's voice can be heard behind him as he stared at the screen. Sylus raises a brow. There's always a spot that's left untouched and he's been living in the N109 Zone for too long that after a bloody showdown, there's always dead bodies and shell casings littering on the cold floors.

Since when these bunch of nobodies started to clean up after themselves?

Well, this have been a occurrence of lately. Crime scenes are left clean. No bodies and not much left even a tiniest speck of blood. Whoever cleaning up these scenes are a professional. It's also hard to found out of whoever doing these are a group or individual but he can appreciate the cleanliness much it was a hassle for his operations. Everyone's evolving in the N109 Zone and he needs a little bit of an entertainment before the boredom catches up to him.

The district warehouse were huge. Larger than what you usually received from the organizations who avail your cleaning services. It was a mess but nothing you can't handle. Upon setting foot in the damp and cold warehouse with the scent of blood and gunpowder, you assess the mess.

Letting your OTTO fly and survey the scene. Scanning trails of blood that you have to manually clean and hidden dead bodies to be disposed of. Securing that there will be no marks or traces of DNA that will point the instigators of this conflict.

Scan completed.

Your OTTO cheerfully chirps at you and you began to slide the gloves in your hands and securing the shoe covers in your feet to avoid footprints that will link to you. You take the plastic sheet from your crate before rolling it to the moldy floors. This is where you will be putting the dead bodies and put them on the body bags you brought. Individually wrapping them up like spring rolls.

It was tasking for a individual work but doing it for months made your body stronger — strong enough to haul bodies heavier than yours. You began your work, stacking them up like building blocks and rolling them with a huff as you struggled cause why men looks like they're light and only to find out they're heavy with that kind of body. Even in death they were still dead weight.

After hauling the last body, you made your way to the blood trail with your handy cleaning tools along with a special solution. You were quick to learn for your trade of cleaning crime scenes for the organizations that pays you a lump sum of money enough to sustain you and sometimes they will throw an extra to a job well done which you always do.

You can always use the referral for your services. The quietness of the warehouse didn't bother you much. It was once a quiet night to work in and you doubt there will be anyone after such bloodied mess. You only focused on scrubbing the dried blood from the dry floor and sweep the dust to conceal the scent of your special solution. It wasn't that pungent but it didn't hurt to be extra careful. Discretion was your specialty.

The OTTO encircles the area and the humming sound coming from it was the noise you can hear while you busy yourself. Halfway through when it got too quiet and your OTTO was missing. You stopped in your tracks.

You remained crouching with a brush in your hand as you raised your head. Listening to any telltale signs or noise that you're not entirely alone in this warehouse. Perhaps the heavy footsteps or a puff of breath. Anything that may harm you but nothing and you thought that maybe your OTTO malfunctioned since it was really a old model that you managed to salvage cause you can't still manage to upgrade it.

You were about to finish anyway and so scrubbed the floor a little harshly until the blood has separated from the floor before sweeping dust all over it before you walked towards where you hear your OTTO humming.

It was behind the crates, you can see your OTTO was blinking lights and was roughened in the edges with claw marks. The sight of your half destroyed companion send shivers down your spine. It feels like you were surrounded but when you look around there was nothing. You swallowed. Your hands inside the gloves were starting to moist. The pit of your stomach feels like sinking.

Something dangerous is near and you can't really pinpoint where it is. You try to balance it out. The pros and cons of leaving for your safety but your job was still not done. You couldn't really risk losing the source of your living in the N109 Zone and besides you faced fear many times before. What's the harm of risking another?

Deciding that you really can't leave your job, you grabbed your broken OTTO and decided that it really needs a replacement and it's been long and it should rest for being your companion for a long time. Still, seeing it destroyed pains you.

Now you have to manually check that they will be no evidence that you've been here after your OTTO’s broken.

A step and sudden jolt of uneasiness strikes you again. Raising your head, you caught a glimpse of a familiar silhouette in the upper railings. The sound of flapping wings followed by a rather loud caw. Black feather slowly descending towards you and landing in your outstretched palm.

God, any minute now or seconds he will be appearing now.

Snap.

A swirl of black and red mist appears in front of you and just like that — your main love interest, leader of Onychinus and the one who rules the N109 Zone — Sylus stands before you.

Scared? Not really. You were blinking back tears because he was so close and your mind really decided to replay what he had gone through. Dying in the hands of his sorceress and not granting him death unless she allows it. Then, they found each other again. Both immortals dying in each other's arm and again, two children fighting to death and escaping to another planet and only to separate once again and he's here in front of you.

Standing tall and immaculate with the air of authority in his stature. Head held high and you can see the subtle glow of the Aether Core in his right eye. The reds of his eyes glimmer in the dim lit warehouse.

You take a step backwards, cradling your destroyed OTTO closer to you. Not daring to speak a word or look in his eyes.

“Just when I thought these fools has learned to be careful.” He muses. A faint smirk in his lips as he looks at you and the pile of dead bodies you were about to dispose behind.

“Maybe. I'm the only person here though. Cleaning out the mess.” You shrugged. Cradling your destroyed OTTO and walking towards your “cleaning van.” You gently put your companion in a crate before grabbing the brush again to continue cleaning. Wiping the sweat off in your forehead with the back of your arm.

Sylus remains silent. Following your every movement under his gaze about this person who was unintentionally ignoring him and going back to your job. Not even an ounce of fear behind those tired eyes. Were you feigning ignorance of the truth that you saved him? The leader of Onychinus and the feared man of the N109 Zone. That matter didn't seem to bother you.

“Do you know that when people save someone they expect something in return?” He began. Baiting the person in front of him for a favor. “It’s a chance for them to rise in this wasteland.”

“I’m managing.” You pragmatically answered even when your heart is beating fast cause you know secrets in this world and you really don't want to involve yourself with Sylus. You were living quietly and you badly want to get out of this world or maybe ask him to get you a identity to live in Linkon but that would raise suspicions cause why would you ask for a identity. It's either you're a criminal or someone who doesn't belong in this world.

He also didn't belong in this world but wherever MC is, he follows. A flower who still bloomed beautifully in a different soil.

His expensive cologne wafts in the air. His shoes scraping the dust in the floor. His coat swaying every movement and it's enough to intimidate you and you hope you're calm in the outside.

“Oh really.” His voice lowers into a timber and oh, it was really different from his secret times and tender moments, you want to squeal so bad if it wasn't for the implication that he's already smelling your bullshit.

“You want to go home. Why is that?” You swallowed. You cursed the goddamn Aether Core in his eye that can see the desire of someone. It's true. You've been wanting to go home since you got isekaid here.

“I’m not from here. Just a terrible luck.” You confessed under the intensity of his gaze but still withholding the secret you have. You're not easy to crack but Sylus can read you like an open book.

He hums in understanding. Not forcing you to give the details of your life cause he will be the one to know it. “I don't like the feeling of being indebted from someone below me.”

“You’re not indebted to me.” You briefly paused. Daring to steal a glance before focusing the task in your hand.

“My body choose to move that day when I could have run. I have no intention of saving you.” You say in a matter-of-factly. “I don't want to involve myself to someone powerful and if you feel indebted.” Swallowing the imaginary lump in your throat. “There is one thing you can do.”

You look at him straight in the eyes.

“Leave me alone.”

Sylus raises his eyebrows. He can't brush it off why you were so adamant not being involved with him when people got the leverage to do business or something simple as favor they rush but you — you were rushing to get out of his hair.

Leave you alone? There is really something wrong and Sylus sharp instincts knows better than to grant it. To call it quits. You were also calm and composed when facing him aside from the sudden beats of your heart that he can hear.

You didn't also run the moment he made his appearance which people usually do upon meeting him. Maybe is it because you know he can't harm you after saving him that one morning. N109 Zone wasn't really that barbaric and there's sliver of morals that are still practiced.

You can't kill someone unless they're the first to draw blood or unless it was contractual and the killing is ordered. Sylus has disposed people that betrayed him or were hindering his plans.

Besides you look amateur but Sylus isn't someone to really judge based on how you look. It was finding the value of someone and with some pressure you could be a coal turning into a pearl with the right pressure.

You didn't quite grasped how the N109 Zone works and you choose the job to clean the aftermath of every shootouts and doing the dirty work of disposing corpses. You were only surviving base on your skills and Sylus can use some of your talents.

“That would be impossible, dove.”

His eyes narrowing, clearly intrigued cause it was looking into a blank slate but is packed with so much color.

He can see how you freeze for a second. Hands trembling like you were hiding a secret and the next question confirms his suspicion.

“Who are you?” Ruby red eyes stares at you. Waiting for you to crack and this where Sylus would have normally put you in a gun point. Forcing you to reveal yourself but can you really? Will he believe you? That he was only a pixelated character in a game. A otome game that doomed you for loving him? Whereas you were supposed to be the MC, the player but when you saw your reflection you were just you.

Nothing special like the MC. Not a badass hunter. Not someone's childhood friend. Not someone's bride or a princess. Not a knight nor a queen. Not a sorceress who didn't allow her dragon to truly die and be destined together with every lifetime.

You were you. A regular human who didn't possess a extraordinary power. You were someone who was flawed. Trying to survive in a place that won't be merciful to someone weak.

“It’s none of your business.” Closing the doors of your van after hauling the dead bodies to dispose of with a loud thud. If you were somewhat decent you wouldn't have shown Sylus such hostility. You know what he's capable but being cornered by him — yeah — you should be squealing or be flustered cause it was Sylus, you were in no position because you were in a dire situation and your existence doesn't contribute to the storyline of this world, including MC and his.

You also can't really tell him you're from the other world. It might be catastrophic. You don't really want to stray from canon events and the first step is to stay away from Sylus.

You were about to open the door of your van to get away. You were an inch of pulling that handle until thin red and black mists coils around your wrist. Preventing you from moving your hand.

You look at him in disbelief. Scoffing as you try to pry the tendrils of his Evol wrapped around your wrist. “Really?” You take a step forward. “Is this how you treat people who disagrees with you!?”

Sylus remains nonchalant. Although there's a hint of amusement and curiousity behind his eyes. You weren't perturbed at all with his Evol but he can give you the benefit of the doubt. “Not really. Usually they end up dead.” His hand moves manipulating it to pull you.

“Assuring but can you let me go? I really don't want anything from you. Let just call it quits, please?” You pleaded. The sleeves of your varsity jacket crumples as you try again to get out of his grip. “I still have to finish my job.” Biting your lip anxiously as you desperately look at your van. The bodies are going to rot now before you can dispose of them.

“The twins can take care of it.”

“How can Luke—” Your eyes widens, biting your tongue at your slip up. You forgot that no one really knows what the twins names are except Sylus. They were his henchmen after all and a stranger — you was the final nail in the coffin.

“Interesting.” His lips curve into a smirk and you know what it means. “You and I are going to have a long conversation.” Giving you no room to retaliate or defend yourself. It was useless anyways, no one really escapes him and you hope that you can still get out. Alive.

The hallways were dark. The warm light of the wall sconces was the source of the light. You get the idea that Sylus is taking you to the dining room where he once eviscerated someone after a disagreement and finding the other person was trying to take both sides and Sylus does not like traitors.

You were walking behind him. His Evol long deactivated cause he knows you can't run even as you try to look around for possible escape routes and you really can't even you want too. His windows are a no-no. You don't want to plummet to your death from the top floor.

Sylus pushes the door. Inside were the sleek black marble top table with two candles lit in the candelabra. A deep red velvet chairs upholstered. Everything was Sylus's taste that you saw in his bond memories where he and MC stays. Your remember their little banters and how bossy he was.

It brings a smile to your face as you take the surroundings of the room. Luke and Kieran were probably wrecking your van. They were making you jobless in the Zone. You hoped that your van will still be returned in one piece.

“Sit.” He orders you and you complied without hesitation. Sylus can be impatient and being stubborn will probably get your neck choked. Settling in the chair, it was remarkably soft. You can't remember the last time you sat in something plush. Concrete stairs and crates in warehouses were your chair. The cold floor of the temporary base you set up covered with a old mattress was your bed.

Sylus stands behind the counter. Pulling glasses to pour a drink for himself and to you. “Let’s get started with a simple conversation.” The glass clinks as he puts on cubes of ice. “I ask you a question and you will answer me.”

“Okay.” He hears you murmur. Your posture was rigid. Legs bouncing out of nervousness in the chair. Chewing on your lips and your hands were hidden in the sleeves of your jacket like you were put in a straitjacket but he knows you were scratching your skin.

You were guilty as you look. Actions don't lie. Or maybe you were anxious. He got something to ease you up. “Here.” Nudging the glass in front of you. The amber liquid sloshing with the ice. You take it. He's probably making you loosen your tongue which is maybe going to work.

His eyes follows your movement. Bringing the glass of whiskey in your lips and your nose scrunches at the sharp aroma. He watch as you look at him before breaking eye contact and taking a swig of the drink and the reaction was immediate.

Sharp violent coughs shook your whole body. Your eyes watering as the liquid burned down your throat. You used your arm to cover your mouth while you coughed. God, what kind of humiliation the universe is putting you through and in front of Sylus.

“Who are you?” He began to question you and you glare at him. Wiping the corner of your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket. “A stranger.” Coughing up the last bits as you try to draw out the bitter taste.

You really don't want to lie but you were not in your world and you were afraid that you were going to disrupt the timeline of this story. You didn't want to be a huge spoiler or accidentally trigger a effect that will rip the balance of this world.

Sylus looks at you blankly. “What are you doing in the warehouse?”

“Trying to make a living. I can't survive here unless I do something.” Rubbing your knuckles in your eyes.

“Let’s get back to my former question. Who are you?” His voice are dripping with venom and you watch the subtle twitch of his hands and the next thing will be is he's blowing your head off.

“You want to know? I'm just some unfortunate soul who got here.” Pursing your lip in a thin line. Conflicted on how to process your emotions. You were scared, frustrated and angry. You shouldn't have saved him.

“And now you’re going to ask why I knew Luke and Kieran.” You paused for a bit. The confession is going to give you a headache. “You're a pixelated game character on my world.”

And the headache begun. He only raised his brows like you were just messing up with him. “I know how ridiculous it sounds but it's true.”

“You don't believe me? You're Sylus Qin. You're a wanted criminal in Philos and you escaped from Tartarus.” You began to explain. Legs bouncing anxiously with every tick of the clock. Sylus was practically a weapon ready to fire at any moment.

“Want to know more? You manipulated Miss Hunter to kill you when she was a sorceress and you were a dragon. You were ostracized from your own kind. You can't die unless she allows you to. You were also children too. Fighting to death in the arena with the other children and when it's down to both of you — you made the decision to escape and she did too but you two got separated.” ‎You revealed. “Is that enough?”

‎He didn't say anything else as if convinced. ‎“How did you end up here?”

‎“I don't know. I just woke up in the middle of the road.”

‎Sylus didn't press anything more. As far as he knows you're an anomaly.

‎”Can I leave now?” You asked. Thinking this interrogation is done and you really don't want to disrupt this world. Afraid that if you interfere some butterfly effect would activate and all of this world are going to be doomed. The plot was really important and every decision of the characters either make or break.

You waited for his response. Thinking of the van that are being used by the twins. You hoped that they know where to dump the bodies and your van isn't being banged up. The source of your income and means of survival rests on how they treat your van.

“I'm afraid that's not going to happen.”

“W-waa—what? Why!?” Eyes wide in disbelief. Your brows are raised and with the little shot of that alcoholic unnerved you in ways that you didn't know you can.

You look at him like you hit your head (which you already did by thunking your forehead in the top rail of your chair) and find that he's real ugly but he's not. He's hot. Infuriatingly hot. You can't count how many times you fantasize kissing Sylus and moisturize that dry lips of his.

You wanted that when he was on your screen and now, you're not, maybe a little. Get a grip! You tell to yourself but you dread about this — of not being able to leave. You're going to be in the front row and watch the world fuss about MC. The next days are going to be the start of her story with Sylus. Their first meeting.

“You're an anomaly in this world.”

Your heart drops. Of course, you're an anomaly. Sylus must have analyzed you or searched for your identity and to only find nothing.

“You know a lot about of things going around here and I can't have you running around with that kind of information.” He reasons, taking a step towards you.

“I'm basically a NPC in this world. I don't see the relevance of me being here.” You counter. Pressing your forehead in the back of the chair because you really didn't want to be involved with him.

“What if I say, I don't want to?”

“You really don't have a choice here, kitten.”

“Fuck.” You muttered, running our reasons to use. “I have a job around here. I can't have you bossing me around. I won't also ask for a compensation.” Referring to your destroyed OTTO and your van that is going to be thrashed by the twins. You can always start. You survived your first day and managed to live this long.

Sylus can see the reluctance in you. Mixed with the desperation of not wanting to get involved with him. He's a dangerous man. Money isn't really a problem for him and he can get you a nice place to live and a brand new van and the latest OTTO catered to your needs. When in reluctance, give them the assurance.

“Is cleaning up dead bodies and blood that fun?” Your eyes flickers towards him. “Not really but it keeps my stomach full and meets my basic needs. Shelter I have plenty.” Rubbing your arm in an attempt to comfort yourself. Eyes a little droopy and your lips curled into a frown.

Living in the N109 Zone with no means of being the strong was your struggle. It was life or death for you.

“I have a proposal.” When you can't convince someone, you put the stakes higher. Sylus continues as he noticed you tilt your head. Interested at the proposal he was about to make.

“You will be provided everything you need. You shall never starve or work for your food. I will give you shelter. You can hole up in one of the rooms here. I have plenty. You will have a identity you desire. A clean slate for you to start somewhere new.”

“That's preposterous for someone like you, Sylus.” Shaking your head as you try to think about what to do before looking back at him. “I can't be near you. I'm a walking spoiler.” You swallowed as if there's something stuck in your throat.

“If information is what you want of future events, I can't tell you about it. I won't disrupt the natural order of this world.” Pulling your jacket and standing up. Putting back the chair in its right place.

“The only mistake I did was to save you.”

“Is that so?” He hums.

Thinking of what he should do about you. “Such trivial matters don't bother me. You're not really disrupting anything and I won't ask for information.” You can see the brief flicker of light passing through his right eye where the Aether Core is placed.

“Work for me. You'll get more benefits than what you wished for.”

He watched as you hesitate. You will still have a choice with the proposal he suggested. You are free to operate around his area and maybe he'll take you as a secretary. It's unlikely you'll betray him. You're smart for your own good to betray as someone powerful like him.

It didn't take long for a few seconds for you to decide.

“Fine.”

The smirk on his face grew wider.

You gave the arrangement six months.

It shouldn't be too long or less. You wanted Sylus to make it shorter because any time soon or any day, he and MC will cross paths and even you wanted to witness their long-awaited reunion — you just can't.

Because what kind of bullshit of people telling you that you are MC in your world and to find out you were the anomaly in this world even you accepted it that you really can't be MC with the game having her life determined and the routes of the story written. MC may have your face in the game but you can never be her.

It sounds bitter but this was your reality. You're not about to witness their love when you have a life to live. A few months staying under his base is the thing you have to live through. You didn't understand why Sylus has to take you under his wing.

You did say you weren't tell him about the future happenings or any information that will about to happen. Probably he's getting bored and what's a little fun to observe a anomaly for his entertainment.

That's your sentiment but you know Sylus isn't that cruel to treat you as one. He may have his reasons and you will never know any of it.

The least you can do is stay put until there's a change of events. It's a matter of time before the story line of the game will start to happen and when MC has grown curious about the N109 Zone and Sylus.

The Onychinus base was huge. Well, huge is an understatement. It's a whole fricking building and despite that doing nothing means you're penniless. Sylus did tell you that the commodities in the building are free to use but a week after almost exploring the whole base — you found yourself restless.

You've been on the run the moment you were transported in this world. Always thinking for ways to survive. Hustling to get by and earn that money that was essential for your job and puts a food in your table. You were always on the lookout for jobs that needs your specialty. It's pay per transaction and you take pride in your work.

Abandoning your livelihood means abandoning your security. There was no discussion about it between you and Sylus even he did say you will work for him, there was really nothing about the job description and you hate to think you were freeloading to him.

So you did what you know best — accepting a clean up job. The pay was huge. The bigger the money they offer the messier and complicated it was but you didn't care. Money is money. You take the keys of the van Sylus owed you after the twins has trashed it like you expected.

You begin to drive towards your destination after picking up a new stash of cleaning supplies you have hidden in one of your hideouts.

The building wasn't that ruined when stepped out of your van. It changed by the times and the lack of maintenance made it unsuitable for moving.

You began to unload the supplies from your bag. Securing the roll of plastic wraps and duct tapes. A makeshift cart that contains all of your cleaning materials with some strong chemical that's enough to knock someone out when inhaled.

The scene that greeted you were something out of a horror film or some sci-fi you used to watch back in your world.

Bloody was the least you will used to describe the scene. It was beautiful. If you can ignore the lifeless bodies impaled with ice spikes. The paleness of the blues of ice mixes with the red. Creating a almost whimsical look like a blood red moon.

You guessed that you find anything as visceral as this normal after cleaning up places. Murder with the use of Evol wasn't unheard of, you've clean plenty of it and disposed mutilated bodies that was almost beyond recognition. You've also thrown bodies or parts of one in a single trash bag.

Time is the essence and even with the structured ice Evol, it was starting to melt and when ice are thawed — everything's going to be bloody from here and so you began to take your trusty lightsaber-esque equipment that's good for cutting through metal, bones and of course, ice. As long they're solid it gets the job done.

The smell didn't even bother you. It was like meat that you left to defrost and forgot to take it out for cooking and it starts to go bad. It's worse for you the first time but the fear of not being able to survive gets you out of that disgust.

Pressing the button of your tool, it shortly crackles — bursts and emits a bright orange glow and then you start to cut through flesh and bone.

It's good to know that you're still capable.

After that work and clean up, you were done for the day, night. You still didn't regulate your sleeping hours even with the comfortable place Sylus provided for you at the base and paired with restlessness.

Driving back to Onychinus base made you uneasy, sure you move places to places and sometimes settled for months but a month in Sylus's base didn't feels like something you can live with. You were grateful but coming back to the base is still unfamiliar territory for you.

Attachment creates dangerous conflicting feelings and having known danger and how powerful attachment can be — you ignored.

It's the reason why you keep the interaction to Sylus minimal except when it's necessary and you can't avoid him without being too obvious.

You surely can't start catching feelings for him even he's your main love interest in the real world and when he's a game character. But how about when he's real and you're near him? That you can hear his voice, can touch him and talk to him? Can you not really fall in love? And there's MC.

But it's difficult when you're in his world and living in his base where any chance you can bump into him and it happened the moment you were about to retreat in your room. The hallways were big but it connects to everything.

You were about to turn when you almost bump into Sylus. The familiar outfit that he almost dons everyday in your home screen is what he wore. "Hey." You awkwardly greeted him. Gripping the hem of your sweatshirt that reeks with the scent of blood and chemicals for cleaning.

"I thought you might have escaped.”

Liar. He knows where you are and he knows your circumstances. You can't leave him. Not yet.

“As you can see, I can't. I'm powerless.” You murmur.

There's a moment of awkward silence but it might be you until Sylus broke it.

“Care to join me for lunch, dove?”

You didn't know why Sylus started to call you dove but maybe he was referring you to one like the dove MC rescued and was put in his care temporarily in the Nightplumes card. It didn't happen yet but the cards are connected to the future events after their meeting.

You refused. “No, thank you. I'm not really—” Your stomach betrays you, growling like you haven't eaten for days. “— hungry.” You finished to say with your cheeks burning hotly from embarrassment.

Sylus chuckles and you badly want to jump out outside the window and plummet to your death.

“Do you really find me insufferable?” He asks, his eyes narrowing although there's a lilt.

“Insufferable? No. I don't find you like that or anything.” He's many things but insufferable. You mumble, concealing the expressions that might show in your face as your brain panics.

“Good. It would be a bad thing if my guest finds me intolerable.”

Turns out Sylus has already set up the table in the terrace. His chef, you meet him the second day in your stay in Sylus's base and asked you what you wanted to eat. The Onychinus leader told you that you have permission to use the kitchen or ask the chef whatever you felt like eating.

You absolutely remember the terrace it was shown in the kindle of his first myth card where he taught MC on how to improve her combat skills. Knowing the terrace part of the base is where Sylus sometimes took his meals.

If you did suddenly get back home, you have a lot of things to brag as you take your sit across "Boss-man Sylus."

It's not like everyday is an opportunity to share a table with Sylus, the most desired love interest in your world.

“How was your work today?”

“Grotesque but it's nothing that I can't handle.” You shrugged, taking your cutlery and mimicking Sylus's gesture as he began to eat.

You have quite the appetite despite the scene earlier. Your stomach has gotten thick overtime as you took that line of work.

"I assume someone has gone rouge.”

“If you would put it that way.”

He hums. Gently twirling the glass of wine and the red liquid sloshed inside of it. He takes a sip before resuming on his meal. You had done the same and the taste of wine made your taste buds burst into these tiny quantities of flavors you can taste.

Amusement glimmers in Sylus's eyes. Watching you taste something that you're not accustomed to. You told him that back in your world you have a job that covers your expenses and an extra for some indulgence.

Your indulgence was getting all his cards.

“Do you find your room comfortable?” He pries.

“Yes, thank you.” You whispered. Meeting his gaze to show how sincere you are. You missed having a real bed not the make shift beds you have to temporarily sleep with.

“You really didn't need to spend much on me. I'm not staying that long.” Reminding him of your arrangement.

Sylus chuckles. “I'm not the one to forget, dove.” Leaning on his chair and crossing his legs. “You plan to go back in your job?” His eyes narrows at you.

“Maybe. I didn't really asked you about the details when you said that I'm working for you.” You told him. Putting your fork down cause you know where this conversation is being headed.

“How about as my secretary?” He says without a beat. The way he says it was the same as he speaks in the game and you would have accepted it within a heartbeat if it wasn't for the position you are in.

“Me?” You asked, hoping you misheard it or your ears was playing tricks. “Your secretary? You don't even know me that much to be entrusted with that kind of work.”

“I don't need to know what kind of person you are.”

“I know you're not the one to make stupid decisions and I'm not going to doubt your judgement but even I am an anomaly in this world there's a chance that I will betray you.” You say, gripping the table cloth. Well, there's no betrayal that's going to happen but it was an excuse and a reason not to get closer to him.

Sylus smirks. You can see the amusement flickering all over his eyes at what you said. You were getting more interesting as the seconds pass and Sylus likes who he deemed interesting.

“People who plan to betray me don't tell me they're betraying me. You’re selling yourself short, dove.” He pauses, crossing his legs underneath the table while he waits for your response.

He can see that you were still torn and hesitating.

“Take this offer and I'll make sure it will be worthwhile for the both of us.”

Is what he said and now, you're thinking that doomsday is already ahead in the game with you interfering. You hope that Sylus stays canon with MC and the original plot still intact.

May Astra or whatever deity send you back home before you disrupt the world with your existence.

[szarina]

Hi i really like you yandare! Zayne and while i was reading the chapter two I suddenly wondering what happened if Zayn found out that the reader like someone else

₊°｡❆ content warnings. mentions of caleb + mentions of infidelity + jealousy

Keep burning yourself for someone and you will be left with nothing.

That was the feeling of loving someone that you hoped would give you a sliver of affection but years passed and it remained the same until you felt nothing. You apparently gave up. The words your mother used to say echoes in the cracks of your broken heart.

“He's a good man. He will do what he's told. He's a man of duty and responsibility but he won't love you.” Her smile was taunting. Finding pleasure in the tears of her daughter who had done nothing wrong and who got too much love with nothing to pour on but for the man that won't love her.

The classic cardinal red color of her nails seems to bleed as the woman who you call mother digs her sharp nails in your shoulder. She whispers of poison, of malice to the girl who came from her. Blood is thicker than water but it was the water of the womb that was thin and you hoped to drown.

You knew that. Zayne won't return your feelings the first moment you saw how he looked at her. You were the fool for making space for him and pouring love for him but you hoped. He never said that he disliked or end that engagement and maybe he got a sliver of affection for you.

Your mother was right, you were stupid.

“ (Y/N)! Wait!” Theo, your coworker runs towards you. Holding a bouquet of flowers consisting of your favorites. “A gentleman came with this.” Presenting it like it was the greatest masterpiece.

Your brows furrowed. Curious about the sender of the bouquet. You have no close friends. A few girls from your old university invites you sometimes but it ends there. A certain man pops in your mind but it's been too long since you've last seen him.

“You meet him?”

Theo enthusiastically nods.

“Tall, brunette and purplish eyes. He's charming when he talks but you know he's got authority.”

The way Theo describes him, only a person would fit with the description.

“He said he knows you and I told him you were recovering in the hospital. Did he visit you?” Theo pokes at you with the question.

You shaked your head. “No.”

Caleb won't visit you. He and your fiancé got some hidden animosity towards each other and knowing your relationship with the doctor, he won't be stepping at the place where he works at unless you're MC. Those two could pretend they didn't dislike each other for the sake of her and you remember the last time they've been in the hospital together it's because MC got hurt so bad.

You accept the flowers from Theo. Beaming at him with a smile before bidding him goodbye. You could see your fiance's car from the distance.

Looking at the flowers, you thought that it was kind for Caleb to remember what you like. Somehow you felt that you weren't really empty and there are some small fire burning inside you.

The flowers reminds him of how he neglected you for over the years. Starting from the half kind efforts that you eagerly accepted from him without complaint. Forcing a smile as you look at him knowingly that he can't give you the things you wanted from him.

And in between the fresh petals of the bouquet hides a card. “See you soon, princess.” The handwriting was familiar and he remembers someone who clearly used to call you with that nickname and that same person would come again to take you away from him and he didn't like it one bit.

It wasn't hard for him to notice everything about you. Ever since he insisted that you stay with him to monitor your recovery — you became distant to him. Moving in the shadows and keeping conversations minimal unless it was really needed to.

Of all the things he could have done, why did he waited for you to be harmed.

You've been smiling a lot lately. Dressing up nicely that you ditched your sweaters and jeans for something flowing. Clothing that clung to your figures nicely and looking at the mirror longer than necessary.

It was nice to see you being back to your old self again but there's an itch he have to get out of his brain. That man has no real hold over you but friends from childhood doesn't disappear overnight and no real feelings would bloom for a reunion however Zayne knew you and how you value from being perceived by others.

It couldn't be that you're wanting to reunite with him? You wouldn't but your recent behavior towards him was enough to add doubts.

The last straw was when you didn't look at him anymore.

The living room was the neutral ground of his house. The place where you can both exist, stay in the same place without talking. Your relationship improved with him from being a doormat to a roommate. You skipped the honeymoon phase with your soon-to-be husband. The later years where you get cold to each other cause there's no passion to keep things alive.

Like shadows that you merely pay attention to because you got used to it.

“What are you going to do about it?”

You didn't bother to look at him. From the mirror of your vanity he can see his reflection. Dressed in his black button up shirt and the same pants. His gaze at his fianceé apply a much darker shade of lipstick than the usual color she prefers.

“Nothing. Like what I did when I had known you were actively liking her. You didn't even hide it.”

There wasn't even remorse in your voice. No hurt either. You abandoned it a long time ago but maybe there is still there but years of pouring love from someone who can't accept it made you indifferent. It was the honesty you can give to him.

The cardiac surgeon keeps his eyes on you. Watching as you put a swipe of gloss in your lips. “He can't give you the love you want.”

You scoffed, glancing at him. “It won't matter and it's better than to have nothing at all.”

This was your truth and Zayne knew you were dead serious about leaving him. As you put the last touches of your make-up, Zayne thought about it. You in the arms of another man and worst in that man — he really can't let you go.

He should accept the truth that he can't mend this relationship and he should be moving on like you said but he just cannot accept it.

Not when he's too deep about you and he can't reach the surface with this ugly feeling that keeps tugging down at him that is called jealousy.

He would give you the love you deserves, even it's too late.

[szarina]

𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 (again)

Hello. This is Shaira again. I'm re-opening commissions again. I don't want to do this again for I have not finished the previous commissions but I'm in a pinch right now and I'm really sorry.

Earlier this month I have announced hiatus to look for a job and I found one and on the way to being trained is costly. I have a found a place to temporarily stay and crash on a friend's temporarily for a few days but the landlady won't allow if I stay for more than a week and I don't want to trouble my friend. I found a place but it costs the last amount of my meager savings since leaving home last year in the first weeks of August.

I'm re-opening my commissions again to last for a month and be able to pay the rent until I get my training allowance. Thank you very much!

Fandoms that I will write for.

Love and Deepspace

Jujutsu Kaisen

Boku no Hero Academia

Blue Lock

Any fandoms that I know

Rates:

15$. Fixed rate. Any length or character and genre. Will always do noncon and dark themes.

You can send me a direct message on Tumblr or in ko-fi. Donations are also accepted. Thank you!

This is the update of the previous commissions.

Yan! Sylus x Isekaid!NonMC [Almost finished]

Yan! Sylus x OC [Drafted]

Yan! Caleb x NonMC [Almost finished]

Yan! Mikage Reo x Wife! Reader [Drafted]

[szarina]

𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 (again)

Hello. This is Shaira again. I'm re-opening commissions again. I don't want to do this again for I have not finished the previous commissions but I'm in a pinch right now and I'm really sorry.

Earlier this month I have announced hiatus to look for a job and I found one and on the way to being trained is costly. I have a found a place to temporarily stay and crash on a friend's temporarily for a few days but the landlady won't allow if I stay for more than a week and I don't want to trouble my friend. I found a place but it costs the last amount of my meager savings since leaving home last year in the first weeks of August.

I'm re-opening my commissions again to last for a month and be able to pay the rent until I get my training allowance. Thank you very much!

Fandoms that I will write for.

Love and Deepspace

Jujutsu Kaisen

Boku no Hero Academia

Blue Lock

Any fandoms that I know

Rates:

15$. Fixed rate. Any length or character and genre. Will always do noncon and dark themes.

You can send me a direct message on Tumblr or in ko-fi. Donations are also accepted. Thank you!

This is the update of the previous commissions.

Yan! Sylus x Isekaid!NonMC [Almost finished]

Yan! Sylus x OC [Drafted]

Yan! Caleb x NonMC [Almost finished]

Yan! Mikage Reo x Wife! Reader [Drafted]

[szarina]

Hii I loved reading heart of glass series, can I request smth?

What if nonmc tries to fix things with zayne?

Like, zayne comes home one day after a bad day at the hospital, losing a young patient, on his way back sees a NORMAL couple laughing and enjoying their time. Comes home to see pregnant nonmc sleeping. He holds her and apologizes over and over and over again, saying things like he would have ended his life from the guilt of his actions but he doesn't cus he's the only one who can protect her and he cries thinking she's asleep. But she's not and she pretends to sleep hearing him confess. Then after a few days she proposes that they leave the past in the past and start again before the kids are born, that they live a normal life like normal lovers cus she still loves him with all her heart and then zayne learns to trust her and she learns to trust him, slowly coming back to a norm and the kids grow knowing their parents and the sweets most romantic couples in existence and it's the truth ...

Sorry If this is too long .... I read heart of glass and instantly followed and had to ask

₊°｡❆ content warnings. character death + angst + pregnancy + implied noncon

“Time of death: 3:48”

The words rolled off his tongue like butter. It wasn't his first time declaring a patient has succumbed to death. No pulse, unresponsive to drugs being injected in their body. The holographic screen floating besides his patient shows a flatline. For who doesn't heard him say that line many times, he was heartless.

There's no beat to show that somehow the heart was still beating. It remained a straightline beeping monotonously. The pressure keeps dropping until it reached zero. He remains cool — unbothered. There wasn't even a slight tremor in his hands or the familiar frost creeping in his arms. His expression passive as he glances at the hands of the clock on his watch and then to the lifeless body of a young girl.

A child.

They could have been anything but dead. A bright young girl running free in the backyard with dreams and inspirations. However with the world's sickness that continues to ravage the young and old, it was inevitable. He was still looking for the cure and even Zayne was a miracle worker, he can't save everyone. He can do so much and do so little.

As a final respect to the deceased and the procedure of the hospital — he lifts the white blanket. Covering the body of the girl like he did many times with his patients that died on the bed.

It was nearing dusk when he got out of the hospital. His heart lays heavy with today's events. Many times he told himself that people are bound to die with his line of work. It could be anyone and that bothers him the most. It could have been his wife many months ago and he was forever grateful that you survived. He can't imagine a life without you even he knew how much you despised him.

He can live with that.

But after navigating the streets of Linkon, his longing intensifies. He knows he can't really demand or seek attention nor the affection from the woman he ruined but some days it settles deep inside him that he can never have you back.

He looks around to find a parking spot near Maltosio. The restaurant where he used to eat his lunch or indulge in their latest sweet creations. He walks a few street before finding that nearby bookshop that will lead him to that restaurant.

Upon arriving the clerk behind the counter beamed towards him. He was a patron and was almost there weekly. “Welcome Sir! What I can get for you?” He clears his throat before telling he was there to pick up his order. It was just some cakes and pies. You were lately rummaging the kitchen for something sweet. The cravings has been high lately with his children growing steadily inside you.

He can indulge you but at moderation and in a controlled way. Cravings are sometimes a bad influence in your condition but sometimes he gives in. A glimpse of a fleeting smile or the look of contentment in your face that let you lower your guard down around him. It was little. However it was enough for him to settle with some crumbs of your softness.

Confirming that he received what he ordered, the clerk bid him a goodbye along with the lines of come again and thank yous. Outside the sun was glaring its last rays before it dipped for the moon and stars to shine.

He was near in his car when a couple walks towards him near the sidewalk. Laughing at something incorrigible and somewhat it stings him deep. It reminded him of what happened many years ago. When you've both have overcome the awkwardness of being childhood friends to being strangers engaged to each other.

The sound of your laughter ringing in his ears like it was from yesterday he hears it. Trying to stifle the laughter of a humor that he only knows and you're trying hard not to burst in laughter before it came spilling into tiny uncontrollable giggles and he catches the sight of your eyes glistening with tears cause the joke must have been horrible but it really tickled your humor.

Nowadays, your laughter was gone. Not even a crack of a smile you can bestow cause there's nothing worth laughing for. He made you cry more than make you laugh in the whole duration of his relationship with you.

The silence of his house greeted him. He takes off his coat and places the box of cakes in the counter of his kitchen before making his way upstairs. There's only one place his wife stays. The nursery.

It was still unfinished but a month of your pregnancy and after that wedding, you made it your room. You can't still stand sleeping in the same bed with the man who betrayed you.

He slowly turn the knob of the door. Careful not to startle you and when he peers inside, he finds his wife fast asleep in the single bed he put there. You made it clear that you don't want to sleep next to him and he respects that. You were pregnant and he can't upset you in the smallest of things that may affect you and the children growing inside you.

He takes a long breath before exhaling. The oversized sweater his wife wore rests above her round belly. The long skirt you wore has ridden up and is resting in your calves. You lay there asleep, hugging a huge seal plushie that you choose instead of the maternity pillow he brought for you.

He takes a look around. The final rays of sun are a little harsher at the time of this day and he have to close the curtains. Checks the air conditioning to see if it's up to your preferred temperature and then he takes a look at the prenatal vitamins examining the contents if you had taken them and taking a mental note when to stack again.

Zayne was halfway on putting away the pieces of the mobile that you have yet to put together when out of the corner of his eye, he sees his wife stirring for a bit.

He doesn't want to hover but he can't help it. He was already studying on what may be the cause of your movements wether it was discomfort or you were changing your position. It was neither and you resumed sleeping.

Did you always look this young while sleeping?

Suddenly, the corner of his eyes are warm. Since when's the last time did he cry and why were his eyes are stinging with unshed tears at the sight of his wife? He takes off his eyeglasses before folding it and placing it on the table.

The surgeon slowly joins behind you. Unsure, uncertain. Of wether to touch you or let himself linger but he did touch you. Carefully gathered you in his arms and the first tear rolled from his eyes before he can say a word.

“I wasn't kind to you.” He shakily exhales. Blinking the tears as he speak. Like confessing a sin that cuts deeper than a scalpel. “I took you for granted.” He whispers. Slender fingers brushing the arm of his wife. “And I hurt you.”

The words weigh deeper. He became someone he didn't recognize. He became the one who hurt you. “Don't hurt her, Zayne. You're all she have.” His mother told him once. He was young once then and the words of his mother confused him. Looking at the little girl in the corner solemnly playing the piano.

There's a look in his mother's eyes. He doesn't understand what it was back then. Pity? Or was it helplessness?

Zayne finally understood that after many years. Took him long enough and before he can realize the damage has been done. He swore to protect you but he can't protect you from the monstrosity that came from himself.

“.....I'm sorry.”

Is he what he wanted to say again. Never asking for forgiveness because it's the most heaviest of sin he can commit again. The kind of atrocity that's meant to hurt you again and he can't take another step to cross the lines.

He wanted to apologize for all the things. Starting from the moment he knew what love is. Of knowing that his actions has consequences but choose to look the other way. Of not giving you attention even just the tiniest and maybe — maybe he could have looked at for who you are and not loved you too late.

He could have killed himself. There's no equivalent of punishment other than death for what he did. It's not even enough for his penance.

There are many ways he could punish himself but loathing to one's self until death won't justify it when he knows that he needs to take care and protect you cause he knows there are still monsters out there aside from himself that would hurt you.

His guilt and shame may weigh heavy but protecting you outweighs everything now that you also carry his children.

And as his steady hands now trembled, his tears flowing as rare as the petals of flower in the river. He vowed to himself, swear that starting from now on — he will be giving you the most care that you needed with the love that you can tolerate from him.

He pressed a chaste kiss to your temple. Hands finding the hem of the blanket to shield you from the cold. He wipes his tears one last time and the door shuts with a click.

He really said that.

And you think he was not even really sorry for what he did.

Don't you ever forgive him is what you told yourself but as you lay with your tears drenching the sheets and holding your round belly, you feel the babies inside you shift. Moving with every drops of your tears like they heard you and their father.

“Daddy said he was sorry.” You whisper, rubbing your belly and you feel one of the twins kicked as if agreeing with you.

And that made it harder. You don't know what to do with it anymore.

“Can we talk?”

The silence was thick in the air. You can see him in the corner of your eyes pausing. He was probably thinking that he misheard you because his wife didn't talk to him for months and is now insinuating for a conversation.

But he didn't misheard you because you're both in the kitchen. You were seated in one of the chairs in the dining table. Drinking the smoothie that he made because it's good for your pregnancy.

Taking the hint, he takes a seat in front of you. Keeping it neutral cause you were prone to outbursts and he didn't want that. Anymore stress can harm you and the babies.

“I really thought about it.” You began, your words drawing out. It was like pulling the rope tied to a bucket of water from a well. It was heavy and you were unsure if you can get out.

He remains silent. He knows better than to interrupt you and you hate that he can still respect you.

“I want to start new.”

You can see how his brow furrows and that small scrunching of his lips whenever he was confused without making it too obvious but he gets it.

He was about to interrupt but you stopped him.

“It's my decision and I don't want to bring our children into this world with this burden from the both of us.”

“You don't have to do that.” Zayne reasons but you keep firm.

“I know but for the sake of my sanity and for our children.” You bit your lip, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. You've been wanting to forgive him for some time.

What he did to you was an act of desperation and never intended to harm you for good. He's carrying the weight of his guilt in which he deserves but if you two are going to involve the twins that was created from that, you were going to throw away that pain that burdened you long enough.

The cardiologist stares at you. Assessing on how to thread this situation because of what you were asking. It was difficult.

It was difficult for him to accept this proposal because to him, it looks like you were sacrificing yourself to achieve this kind of reconcilation when it was his fault. He didn't deserve this but some part of him wants this.

“But will it make you happy?” He asks. His fingers trembling above the cold marbled top of the table. Of course you don't.

“I don't know but I know I want to raise our children happy.” You smiled at him albeit it was full of tears but nonetheless he can see that you were at peace knowing that your children will be loved.

With his fingers slowly inching towards yours, and for the first time you accepted it. He stands up. Approaching you and without a second thought you accepted his hug. Oh, how good it felt. Back in the security of the arms from the man who had hurt you and loves you at all the same time.

“Zayne, I don't know if I'm going to be a good mother.” You confessed. Your tears still freely flowing and soaking his shirt.

He slowly tips your head by cupping your jaw. The soft pad of his thumb gently brushing your tears away. “I'll be with you.” Is what he only said and somehow it eases your fears and worries.

You hate how easy to come back to him again but it is what your heart wants. Enough to be assured by him. You hoped that it was going to be okay from now on.

A clumsy rendition of Heart & Soul echoes in the living room.

For Aurora it was her earliest memory. Seated on her mother's lap and staring bright-eyed at the black and white piano keys. Her mother's finger pressing the key producing the most beautiful of sound she ever heard.

It was followed by her father, the melody was catchy. Her little twin brother was also seated on their father's lap. Staring quietly but his eyes shifts. Trailing the movements of his parents fingers.

She would also join too. Fingers too small but capable of poking the keys. Happy that she was able to play the piano and then she would look up. See the look of contentment in her mother's face. Admiring her daughter and the son she both have.

The child looks at her father too. Looking at her mother's face and their gaze meet. Aurora would grin cause when her father looked at her mother like that, he would slowly lean pressing a kiss to her mother's forehead.

The twins would grow seeing that kind of affection. Always constant, present. Believing it was the purest form of love.

It took a lot of forgiveness and the act of moving on.

They don't need to know what happened before them. What transpired between their parents. They will always know that they were loved and wanted.

[szarina]

I NEED MORE OF YANDERE ZAYNE PLEASE,Like what would happen if the reader creates a plan in which Zayne meets Mc and in one way or another makes him look disloyal, so much so that even her in-laws and parents support her with a divorce, what would Zayne do? OR ALSO, What is the perspective of Dawnbreaker about this marriage, well, if you want ofc.

₊°｡❆ content warnings. ambush + talks of divorce + implied infidelity

“I am divorcing Zayne. That's my final decision.”

A collective silence suddenly falls around the table at your sudden announcement. The subtle scrape of utensils in the plate halts.

The first one to look at you was your mother. The glare she was giving you for "embarrassing" her was enough to scare the little girl you once has been. A bold stupid idea of yours that she thought has beaten out of you.

The look of your mother-in-law though hurts you. Althea looks at you and to her son. “Zayne.” That was enough and from the corner of your eyes, you can see him stiffen up. An ambush from you. He thought this was going to be a normal dinner? It's not.

“What did you do?” His father asks, smile faltering and replaced with concern.

His son who married you after you were confirmed pregnant with his children remains calm. He was probably assessing on how to defuse the situation and the bomb you suddenly dropped.

He didn't see this. He didn't anticipate that this harmless dinner will be your chance of leaving him.

“Don't be stupid, (Y/N).” Your mother hissed. It's all she can do but it you were younger she would have struck you in the face. “Apologies, my daughter doesn't mean it.” She chuckles although it was forced and she was gritting under her teeth.

“It's okay. Our children must have a reason for this.” Jace assures calmly and the usual smile on his face falters and was replaced with a frown.

Zayne gently set his utensils down. Adam's apple bobbing but he remains composed. Staring at you that meant to assure you but he's making you second guess yourself and tell that this decision was a bad one.

“We should discuss this in private.” He calmly says but his fingers are stiff and you can see the subtle clenching of his jaw but he remains composed as he should be.

“No.” You refused. “We haven't talked about our marriage in private and you suddenly announced it. I'm ending it here.” Firmly standing your ground and this is what you thought of. Take him by surprise cause Zayne predicts every aspect of your life but not this.

“Is there a reason for this (Y/N)?” Your father asks you. Dabbing his mouth with a napkin.

“Yes. Zayne's still attached with his former patient and childhood friend.” You answer without hesitating. “I don't have any intentions of being the third party of my own marriage.”

It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either.

The reaction was immediate especially to Zayne's mother. Althea could never thought she will hear this accusation coming from his son's wife and from the looks of it, it was true.

Besides Althea and Jace knew who you were talking about and they know that their son has some attachment for the girl but never thought it could be this deep.

“Don't you think it's too rash to act like this. What about the twins?” Your mother tried to guilt you up.

“I'm having full custody of my children. I won't let the twins or me interrupt him rekindling their old flame.”

“(Y/N).” Zayne calls you. His eyes remaining steady.

Fight me. Is what you thought cause he's not really reacting but you know there's no going to be an outburst and you're being difficult to reason with.

“You will see Yue and Aurora as I see fit.” You didn't give him room to argue.

Standing up you bid your goodbye. The twins are with the babysitter you hired and has taken them to your temporary home you brought. All personal things are also packed.

The dinner was just you buying time for them. Zayne would have taken all the steps you would take to avoid this kind of confrontation but you know him better.

Tomorrow, you will be gone with your twins. Abroad will be nice to start a new life. Far away from your soon to be ex-husband and parents.

It's going to be difficult but it's the only way you can think of to raise your twins in a new place. A place where no one knows you. A fresh start.

There will be no traces of her and him.

Raising the twins will be difficult but you have been always alone and alone you will raise them with all the love you knew.

[szarina]

Heeeyyy

I just wanna let u know that we're here for you, Szarina!

We have full belief and support that u are gonna ROCK that interview!

Best wishes buddy!

-Despo anon ehe ;-)

PS: Love your writing and everything else u did for us. I hope you get that job and am really sorry for what You’ve been through. Stay strong and healthy, and never stop crushing on Sylus (or zayne or anyone else)

Luv ya, bud (⌒‐⌒)

Going for another post before I go on full on hiatus.

Thank you, nonnie.

[szarina]

Hello. It's Shaira.

‎I decided for almost a week now to go on a temporary hiatus.

‎I know that I haven't posted anything since last year and was just lurking in here. I came with the decision to go on hiatus for the reason that I'm looking for a job in the next days and hopefully get hired to support myself since I left my family last year and for the reason my small amount of savings are slowly drying out.

‎I am still going to post some finished writings including the commissions via queueing and writing in whatever free time I can have while I'm taking a step back to focus on saving up again.

‎I hope this message finds you all well and thank you for the endless support.

‎

[szarina]

I LOVE YOUR WORKSS. WE HAVE THE SAME NAME ❤️❤️

THANK YOU!

[szarina]

unemployed vs. employed

i badly need a job. i'm going to be doomed in the next months.