
if i look back, i am lost

JVL

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@szihao-blog
sabve:
Pushing himself into a seated position, Sabre’s thumb and middle finger enclosed around the butt of the blunt as he flicked it off into the night, watching the almost spent joint soar through the air, followed by a flash of luminous orange. He was positively done with smoking for the evening.❝You’ll still have things that trouble you, I mean, we all do, right? And I’m here if you ever need to talk, kid.❞ His gaze shifted to Zihao’s and Sabre sent a knowing smile his way. It wasn’t exactly a rarity for the vampire to lend an ear to the younger coven members, just not usually when he was high. But he’d grown to view the other as a younger sibling, over the years. ❝Unless you befriended him first. Then you could lure him into a false sense of security before biting him. He might be into it, you never know.❞ Sabre snickered with his suggestion and met the eyes of the other. ❝You never know, they might drink blood too.❞
“i’ll remember that.” he nodded, watching with a curiosity as the elder vampire disposed of his cigar, his honey gaze following the trail of light it had temporarily drawn on it’s way from the roof to the ground floor where neither zihao nor sabre would be able to see it anymore. had he not been so content on his side, zihao might have snapped up and complained about how wasteful that was, but why ruin a good moment just to pick a fight? some of the other tenants were short-fused enough as it was, adding sabre to the list was never something zihao thought necessary. “i think you would be surprised by how good i am at making people feel safe around me.” he laughed, his comment no news to anybody that knew him well enough --- zihao was popular with the mortals and the members of the coven. “but if that’s the case, befriending them would be so much easier for us.”
xjaqk:
zihao is potentially the only person in the coven jack would allow to treat him so childishly. as much as he claimed the man to be shuchun’s baby, jack wasn’t very far from following her lead. granted, if jack was ever given the opportunity to dress zihao in the garments he wanted, they would not be the extravagant, archaic pieces of shunchun’s.
as the two entered the room, jack released zihao’s hand and moved away to explore the rarely entered living space. not before touching the other’s lower back, however, gently pushing him forward as if to encourage zihao to lead him in his endeavor find the perfect attire. “you should come out with me. i could dress you in some of my things. everyone in the city will want to eat you up.”
stepping off on his own, no longer binding the other male to his side, zihao glides across the bedroom until he is stood before a grand wooden wardrobe, a beautiful piece of furniture that had survived a great deal of physical damage over the many years it had been in his possession, and yet the oak stood in perfect condition, unmarked, much like the body of the young vampire who’d shared similar damage. as if it were a struggle to open, zihao groaned as he turned the glass knobs, pulling each door open with resounding creaks that could prove the age of the piece.
“should i?” he muses, the collection of designer wears organized perfectly in the wardrobe he was inviting jack to choose from, everything available to the other man, despite the one of a kind hand-stitched robes shuchun had personally made for him. “what good is a vampire that people want to eat?” he chuckled, the sleeve of a saint laurent bomber jacket pulled as his first suggestion. “maybe we should find out.”
bvkho:
“𝕴 know, I know you don’t. I believe you.” He hummed lightly in agreement, dropping his face to nuzzle at the crook of the latter’s neck. Of course he knew he’d come off as too aggressive, he usually was when it came to the topic of possibly sharing. However, more often than not, it was Baekho’s own fault for pushing the narrative. With the thought of someone else taking the attention of Zihao away from him, his fingers gripped onto the waist with more possessiveness, stepping forward and pushing the smaller frame against the veranda, Baekho nipped at Zihao’s ear. “I don’t deserve you, look at you, such a pretty little thing.” Placing a small peck on his jawline, he pulled his hand away from the other, caressing Zihao’s cheek and petting his hair. “All mine — tell me you’re mine.”
twisted to the will of koo baekho, zihao catches the railing with the one hand he didn’t have hellbent on clinging to the others body, shirt balled in one palm and the verandas rail caught in the other. he quirks his lips in response to every movement and touch the other makes, a natural pout formed as he silently beckons his elder to steal away as many kisses and bites his hunger desired. if he would restrain himself from roaming the streets of nighttime seoul, the least zihao could do was make himself fully accessible. “all yours.” he whispered in a coy tone, chin tilted forward as he agreed to oblige by the others terms. “i’m your pretty thing, baekho--- just yours.”
bvkho:
𝕶eeping quiet, Baekho let himself be coddled by the other vampire, his own body giving in and turning towards the warmth being gifted. His arm snaked around Zihao’s waist, pulling him close. “Are you sure you won’t just wander away? I want to keep you all to myself tonight.” Fingers intertwining with slim ones, he gave them a tight squeeze, something that hinted at annoyance. “Liar,” he’d leaned forward to airily purr at the other’s neck, his chest touching another.
while he could have flinched or pulled away, zihao remains firm in his intent, holding onto the hand he’d captured as he breaths in the others intoxicating scent with eyes briefly fluttering shut. “i won’t.” he promises, though it isn’t often zihao feels the need to run from the other when he comes calling. “hey---” he whines, rolling his chin so his lips can brush against the bone of the others shoulder, mumbled words quietly whispered in it’s place. “you know i never lie to you, baekho.”
bvkho:
𝔖tanding still, shoulders rolled back and eye contact focused, Baekho studied how Zihao’s lips moved; how words gracefully sounded sweet without trying to become so, it was one of the many charms Zihao possessed. “I’m bored,” he calmly stated, slowly blinking with content as he felt pressure around his forearm. “And I miss the feeling of my hands being dug deep inside a ribcage.” Once a serial vampire, always a serial vampire, and Baekho desperately wanted to bathe in a blood bath. “I want to, but I don’t think I want to leave your company just yet…”
“well you know,” he hums, smile naturally forming as he inches a foot sideways, following the lead of his arm into the side of the other male, to sink his chin against shoulder in an attempt to cling to the older vampire as he drops his fingers to find comfort in baekho’s hand. “you don’t have to go anywhere right now, and if you can hold onto that rage for later--- i’ll be here with you for as long as you like.”
𝔉eeling the cold breeze wrap around his ivory skin, Baekho looked out into the distant city lights, breathing in the air and turning his attention towards his company. “Have you ever thought about just completely losing it, because I feel like going on a rampage at the moment,” a slight grin pulled at the corners of his lips, a chuckle tempting to escape.
zihao leans against the railing of the veranda, his head curiously cocking to one side as he draws his hickory gaze to the speaking figure at his side, a comment drawing brows together in concern as he rounds plump lips to respond. “why?” he asks simply, a hand reaching out to grasp at the others forearm. “it’s not like you can’t, if you really wanted to.”
* 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐎𝐍𝐄 / 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘 !
bvkho:
“𝕳aven’t you slept enough?” Bored, Baekho, to say the least was bored, and the antics shown by Zihao began to make his skin crawl with annoyance. “I doubt you’re tired. Don’t lie to me Zi, you want to ignore me, right? Is that why you’re tired all the time? Whatever.” Dramatically pushing himself off the bed, he walked over to where the male’s attention was facing, forcing eye contact. “Tell me to go then, do it.” There was a glimmer of provocation in his eyes, one hand resting on Zihao’s pillow, the other fisting the bedsheets out of irritation.
while zihao is never upset to see baekho no matter the mood either is in, staring at his face through sleep-riddled eyes is a far cry from ideal. he was tired and did truly wish to be allowed a few more hours of rest, but with baekho in the room behaving unreasonably, peace was unlikely to return anytime soon. “ive not--- i’m not---” blowing a huff in the others direction, zihao said not a word in response; he ignored the other simply by rolling onto his other side, redirecting his expression to the opposite wall. “just go, baekho.”
xjaqk:
only a touch and jack was already melting. zihao never seemed to rise to the same level of dramatics as jack and, quite often, jack felt the foolishness of his behavior whenever zihao was in the same room. at times it frustrated him. even now, he was rolling his eyes upon the shared contact of their palms but, jack was weak; only for this younger man and only on occasion. zihao just so happened to have found the perfect solution to settle him down at this moment.
listlessly, jack rolled his shoulders then tilted his head to the side, giving zihao a pointed look despite how he did not let go of the other’s hand. “mama,” he quoted, “gives you all the best clothes. you’re practically her baby. i’m positive i’ll find something with you, so why don’t you show me some of your favorites?”
zihao held still for a moment, blushing so casually as he played with the fingers he had captured before lacing them in perfectly with his own, swinging arms in a rhythmic manner full of mischief and innocence; unintentional calming techniques he’d developed over the years to ease more volatile personalities back into a state he could bare ( without the use of venomous words or physical attacks, not that zihao was above acting out of turn, either ).
“mmm, you’re right --- but that’s only because she fell in love with me at first sight.” he giggled, though he supposed the woman found it easiest to console him due to their shared historical backgrounds and how well he obeyed when she desired to stuff him into high fashion or centuries old garb. “come on then.” he tugged, leading the other across the living room toward the flight of stairs needed to climb to rifle through his collection of handpicked designer niches.
sabve:
Sabre waved off the others agreement and flicked his gaze to the younger males, plucking the blunt from Zihao’s fingers and placing it between his lips. Inhaling deeply, the vampire enjoyed the slow burn while the smoke curled against his tongue—leaving behind an addictively tangy taste—before sliding warmly down his throat. He really shouldn’t smoke quite as often as he did, but it wasn’t like it could kill him. Short of a stake right to the heart, nothing was going to wipe Sabre off the face of the earth. ❝Everyone has their own shit to deal with, and ways of coping. Just because your own personal shit isn’t quite as terrible as some else’s, doesn’t make it any less important. It’s important to you, so it matters.❞ He offered his companion a warm smile, smoke billowing from between plush lips as he blew it away from the other vampires face. ❝ Somehow, I don’t think eating the little fellow would be good for intergalactic relations.❞
leaning into his palm, zihao watches the older vampire with poise as he shares his wisdom, curious brow perking upward while controlling his expression like a marionette. he’s quite for a moment, thinking of his own past and the experiences of a mortal life of luxury. only twenty, when he’d turned and been brought into the coven, a younger self often times wondering what would have happened had he remained human. “i can’t say i’ve ever really suffered; so i guess i can’t complain.” he mused, his tongue traced across plump lower lip, drawing his signature smile to place with a light careless chuckle in suit. “mmm, you’re probably right --- i guess we’d just have to let the guy go running and hope he doesn’t tell all of his friends ba brought him to the manor.”
xxshuchun:
“i believe you are generally a very honest man,” she agrees. a graceful bow follows the starts of his movements, a proper greeting for the young one she had so lovingly deemed little emperor. her lips upturned in a delighted smile. it is rare for her to find such happiness in one so young, and while shuchun doubts she will be allowed to dote and coddle him forever the way she does now, she hopes there is a century or two left before he finds his independence streak. “hm…” head tilted she hums in thought, “perhaps eleven a.m. though it is hard to tell. you know things such as time have very little baring for me anymore.”
“generally speaking, at least. i don’t think there’s any reason to lie to you or anyone under this roof.” he stretches, extends both arms and legs one final time before heaving to a stand, silk robes draping his slender frame as he looks to the woman for guidance, awaiting her lead from one room to another. “you should rest more, mama. immortal or not, being up that early isn’t gonna do you any good.”
xxshuchun:
“flattery is likely to take you many places, my little emperor,” words spoken with lips curled in satisfaction. “except perhaps, out of this agreement.” she did not so much walk across the room, as she floated with steps undocumented, hidden below layers of heavy silks that trailed long across the floor, swishing as she moved to collect the pillow, which, upon coming to a graceful kneel at the bedside she offered to him, a soft laugh and slight bow accompanying her actions. “good morning, our sun. please rise now.”
“you know i wouldn’t flatter you if it weren’t true.” he sung out, pushing himself to a proper sitting vantage, accepting and stuffing the pillow back into it’s rightful place. that woman was always so graceful and patient; perhaps a little understanding, too, when it came to the young man she always doted upon like a kindred spirit. getting up was the least he could do for her, despite how early he’d deemed it to be. carefully swinging his legs off the bed, his feet finding slippers waiting on the floor where he’d left them, zihao yawned, a sun slowly making peace with his predicament. “how long have you been up?”
sabve:
A chuckle rose in his throat and despite his best efforts to suppress both the mirth-filled sound and the smirk that followed after, he was just far too damn amused by the other males observation. ❝And you’re still not too old to go over my lap, young man.❞ Sabre was still smiling as he lifted a hand and gently flicked the tip of Zihao’s nose. ❝I’m not sure you could handle the shit I’ve seen. I barely even handled it,❞ he confided, a shiver coursing through him with the sudden influx of memories as the vampire shook his head slowly. The past was like a whole other planet—strange, confusing and exciting all at once. ❝If he brought home an alien, I think it’d run a mile within the first few minutes. What about you?❞
“maybe i could.” zihao snickered, his nose scrunching in defense after being flicked by a stray finger, not hard enough to deserve a complaint, because it was not malicious in intent either. how funny it was to think at ninety-five, he would be treated like a modern day teenager. “mmm, you’re probably right. i’ve always been a bit spoilt. my idea of shit probably can’t ever hold a candle to yours.” because no matter the time period, zihao really had been privileged. as a mortal man, he’d the luxury of being born into an upper class household; and then came that man with his tricks and his promises and the immortal life he had to offer. “i think...” he paused, offering the cigar back to it’s original owner, only a single inhale made during it’s time between zihao’s lips. “i would like to know what an alien’s blood smells like, so, you’re probably right about that.”
bvkho:
𝕯odging the weightless pillow, Baekho rolled his eyes and scoffed at the attempt to get him to leave. “Don’t be such a brat, I don’t want to deal with it today.” Making his way over to the extravagant bed, he climbed besides the other, a grim frown forming at the corners of his mouth as attention wasn’t given to him. “You know what I want. Look at you, being so lazy, aren’t you done being pampered?”
he remains on his stomach, barely acknowledging the body that took it upon himself to crawl next to him, breathing in and out with slow and deep exhales. dragging his face against the mattress, staring off in the opposite direction of the man beside him. “baek-- i’m tired.” he groans, searching the room for the two he shared the space with, disappointed and doomed, when it became clear neither were where zihao wished them to be. “just let me sleep. i don’t want to get up.”
xxshuchun:
“song zihao, you must have lost your mind. or are you really throwing things at me on purpose? for your sake, i hope that isn’t the case.” there is an air of ethereal beauty to the former concubine. stillness reigns in her frame, only hickory eyes follow the path of the projectile pillow. “you agreed several days since to be my model while i finish this set of robes, you children may indeed be satisfied to waste your immortality, but i am not and the piper has come to collect. up.”
her voice registers and sends the young prince upright, almost as quickly as he’d reacted to the disruptive presence without thought to first recognize the figure first. hunched over and on his knees as he listens to her explanation, with eyes forced to adjust to the dim lighting. “can’t you wait just a few more hours?” he sighs, twisting his head back over his shoulder to glance at the woman in wait. he already knew what her answer would be. “mama --- you look lovely today.”