SzonKlin @szonklin - Tumblr Blog

Happy Will Smith day!

#scheduling this post for 4th of july 2021 #in the hopes that nothing truly problematic will come to light about #will smith #by the time it comes on

strawberrymilkyumyum

we've all seen zutara secretly dating, but what about hiding in plain sight dating? like, they're incredibly open about the fact that they're dating. they kiss each other on the cheek, cuddle together, gush about each other, and do all the things normal couples do, but like... no one realizes they're dating.

everyone just assumes that they're just the tried parents of the group and take everything they do as platonic. zuko gives katara a forehead kiss? he's doing it for the homies. katara cuddles into zuko while they're hanging out? idk man they're just really close.

no one even thinks about the possibility that they could be dating, because that would be weird to them. they're katara and zuko, good pals. so what if they live together now? they needed to cut down on rent.

so when katara and zuko get engaged, no one knows what's happening. katara posts a picture of the ring and a picture of them kissing but it's too dark to tell who the other person is. sokka and aang really have no idea who she could possibly be engaged to. and when zuko posts the same photos with his caption being a red heart, they just assume that zuko was really happy for her. why wouldn't he be? they're best friends!

because they're best friends, sokka and suki don't think twice about the fact that katara is bringing zuko home for the holidays and not her fiance.

hakoda greets them all with a hug and wraps katara and zuko into his arms saying 'we're so happy to have you be apart of the family son!'

sokka goes, 'no, dad, they're not together. zuko and katara are just friends.'

katara, zuko, and hakoda just stare at him for two straight minutes and then katara shouts, 'WEVE BEEN DATING FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS!'

#zutara #atla

rowark

(X)

goomymegpoid

I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best

ghostlynblm

this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺

#men in dresses

badjokesbyjeff

A drunk wakes up in jail, “Why am I here officer?”

“For drinking.” replies the cop.

“Great” says the man. “When do we start?”

#Toby x cop!Adil #Toby Hamilton #Adil Joshi #Toby x Adil #The Halcyon

baldwinpdf-archive

i’m reading ONE magazine which was a 1950s magazine made by and for gay ppl in the U.S and i’m obsessed with the letters section but this one has to be the one that made me cry the most like….i cant stop thinking about it…

#lgbt+#lgbt history

valtsv

i'm so sexy everyone want me *gestures to the WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE poster with my face on it on the city wall behind me*

valtsv

me: if you think about it it's gay af to make me a wanted criminal. like you want me? you want me so badly you'll reward anyone who brings you info relating to my whereabouts? that's kinda gay dude idk...

the local detective hired to hunt me down and bring me to justice, sobbing as he points his gun at me: please shut the fuck up

szonklin

#...au idea........ one is a thief lets say... and the other is the one stolen from... with enough money to offer a hefty reward if found...#any information..... a description... last place seen... *captured*.... no police involvement cause fuck that#just a man looking to settle a score...#50k enemies to lovers... the *banter* potential! thief teasing the theft about the homoeroticism of being hunted down#anyway hold that thought

Emma is the one hired to investigate.

Clues lead to Tom being an important eyewitness, which is as good as having no eyewitness

Billy is constantly derailing the investigation, bc he thinks he is the one being investigated (he did something silly like stealing an orange and now he is convinced that he will be hanged for his crimes, and worse, his Mom will find out)

Freddie is busy and focused on his work outside of the hotel (bc, you know, there are people whos life doesn’t completely revolve around one building, I know, shocker) so he doesn’t notice the investigation and constantly walkes in at unfortunate moments. Like Emma is questioning Billy, he is sweating and almost ready to confess, when Freddie comes in like Emma whic tie should I wear? breaking the tension and allowing Billy to escape. Or Toby finding out that the person he is after is going to be in the wine cellar at 8 PM, and he is making his way down when at 7.59, just outside the cellar Freddie finds him with a Toby, do you know where Mother is?

Joe knows what is going on but he is having too much fun watching the shenanigans to say anything.

Also the stealing is about something noble, no nazis or poor poc having to steal to eat. Maybe Toby has a tiny figurine that he got as a kid from his grandpa that is important to him for those sentimental reasons, but he doesn’t know much about it. And Adil sees it once when he is bringing coffee up and it is some sort of culturally significant statue or something that some Hamilton acestor with business interests in India got on the “colonies”. And Adil know of a place much better for it than some stuckup aristo who won’t even talk to the staff.

Toby 100% finds Adil attractive and can’t even look at him or talk to him without making a fool of himself so he tries to avoid Adil. During the investigation he finds out about the statues origins, so he is determined to get it back from the thief and then give it back to some Indian community, so when he finds out what happened he is totally fine with it and he also takes Adil on a tour of all the Hamilton estates tracking down and other stuff his great great grandfather stole from India

#and that's another 0.5 page of writing that i did for something other than the 10 page essay i have due in two days...#the halcyon #wanted au

luntfontanne

sometimes you start reading a fic and immediately you’re like OH this was written by a child. okay. please know that i am proud of you but also i cannot keep reading this

luntfontanne

szonklin

I get what this post is trying to say, but the “how much things cost” part is such a struggle! I am a poor little Hungarian never having lived outside of Hungary. Everything is so much more expensive to the west of us. You could tell me that a banana is 10 dollars and I would believe you. Even the relative price of things is different (like rent vs monthly wage vs one meal). And google isn’t always much help.

#writing while hungarian #life of me

idiots-assembled

GHOSTS - Series One Bloopers

#bbc ghosts

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Have you heard the good word about the Pembrokeshire walrus yet?

This walrus is fucken lost.

But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They're generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it's still here, if it's happy, if it's healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.

It seems to like Pembrokeshire beaches.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

I regret to inform you all that the walrus is a delinquent.

In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.

It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.

Incredibly, this is not an April Fools

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where's Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he's not been seen since Monday. We don't know yet if he's moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.

But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.

Some facts about Wally:

She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot

She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village

She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her

She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!

The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet

She’s believed to be two years old

Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female

This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

WALLY UPDATE!!

The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?

He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)

His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck.

Has he learned from this?

FOLKS HE HAS NOT!

He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:

What an Icon.

The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

My mother came for a visit today and we checked and Tenby is an hour away from me, so we went for a Lovely Day Trip to Find a Walrus.

Friends, I took the shittest photo there has ever been of a Walrus. But I absolutely did get to see em.

A lifeboat wandered by to check em out at one point, and ey just... sank. Just dropped below the surface like Homer Simpson moving backwards into a hedge. After a while the boat left, and Wally surfaced again.

I can now confirm that ey really, really likes blowing water around like a whale, and also kept eyeing up that buoy next to em.

Also, I had entirely forgotten how comically beautiful Tenby is, but that's an aside

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Time for a Wally Update!!!

It's only a little one, but apparently we're getting Serious about this walrus, lads - the police are now stepping in to say that anyone interfering with Wally (examples of this interference to date: throwing things at him, taking boats and paddle boards out to him, throwing fish overboard to tempt him closer, etc) is committing a criminal offence and we must send evidence of Assholes to them. So that's fun!

Meanwhile, the tense stand-off between the RNLI and Wally continues over Who Gets To Use The Lifeboat Slipway. Here is a picture of Wally in full delinquent mode.

What a public menace.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Time for the weekly Wally news!

Here is the problem with 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato using the slipway of a lifeboat station as a spa bed: sometimes, canoeists get in trouble near Stackpole and need rescuing and then some underwhelmed Welsh coast guard is going to have to try to chase said predatory sea potato off the slipway so they can launch the boat.

Here is the problem with that scenario: an underwhelmed Welsh coast guard basically views 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato as a sort of ornery gelatinous cow, and so will try to do this with, and I am not making this up, a broom. But a ton of overgrown seal has no fear of brooms, so the attempt is not entirely successful under time-sensitive conditions while canoeists are actively drowning 10 miles away.

Solution? An air horn.

Which did work long enough to get the boat out, and then Wally clambered back aboard barely minutes later and fell asleep again. So trick learned, I guess.

Anyway, since I've apparently become Tumblr's primary Wally journalist, I thought I'd go for a cheeky visit again today so I could report on their condition FIRST HAND (you're all welcome, I have incredible integrity). Today I tried using a binocular over my phone camera with was extremely stressful and moderately successful - and I have two pieces of NEWS.

Story the First

Two dinghies with divers aboard suddenly turned up and sailed right up to them. There are Welsh Marine Life Rescue volunteers everywhere, and one woman immediately yelled "YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. MOVE AWAY."

Everyone on the cliff went silent. The boats went closer.

"YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW," yelled the beachmaster. "MOVE AWAY."

Tumblrs, they did not.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" she yelled. "MOVE AWAY."

At which point, the whole fucken cliff starts joining in, because Welsh people are Like That.

"Move away!"

"Leave 'im alone, mun!"

"Move away, butt, what you doing!"

"He's the size of an 'orse, bois, can't you see 'im from here?!"

"Bloody move you fucks, you'll scare 'im away again!"

(That last one was, I swear, an eighty year old woman.)

The boats, suddenly being yelled at by a whole cliff of Welsh people, sailed away. Later, we followed the beachmaster who was now on a mission, and found her with a couple of community police officers ripping the shit out of the divers. It was very satisfying.

Story the Second

I mentioned my binocular and phone trick. It came in handy. At first it gave me some very satisfying shots for a distance picture on a phone camera:

But, you know, whatever.

But THEN I got this picture:

which I got 0.256778 seconds before that majestic Arctic beast of purest beautiful nature untamed FELL OFF THE SIDE OF THE SLIPWAY LIKE A CAT THAT GOT TOO CLOSE TO A TABLE EDGE

Wally was fine, the seagull to the right was traumatised.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

This is not an update as such but my friend Chris who I took with me to get the scoop on Wally on Sunday had a real camera with him, and he has produced a WAY better photo than I did, and I want you all to see Just How Louche a Walrus is capable of looking:

Handsome boi

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Okay, so this post went from 24,000 notes to 40,000 overnight, and I am getting a lot of important scientific queries about Wally! So I shall call upon my expertise as a skilled journalist of huge integrity and also a genuine, actual lecturer in environmental science to answer them all as best I can. I shall also use pictures.

1. When did this happen?

I have included many links in this thread to news articles on Wally, each of which is dated, so you can check those for accurate dates; but, xe turned up in Ireland in March 2021, and then made hir way to Pembrokeshire, Wales end of March. Xe reached Tenby a week or so later in April, and now refuses to leave. As of this update (6th May, 2021) xe’s still there and chillin’ - my friend Chris’ louche photo there was taken on Sunday the 2nd May.

I shall date all updates from now on. Apologies for this uncharacteristic lapse in my journalistic performance. I have let Wally down.

2. “Oh my god do you guys call Waldo Wally?!??”

Folks!! Folks so many of you are doing this!!! But here’s the thing!!!

Where’s Wally is a British series and that’s the original name!!! It has been translated and regionalised around the world, and the name was changed in 28 of them!! A sizeable number don’t even sound like ‘Wally’!!! In France he’s Charlie! In Lithuania he’s Jonas! In Arabic versions he’s Fuḍūlī!!!

Yet only one nationality is repeatedly reacting with astonishment while assuming theirs is the one true original version!!! Guess which one!!! You have to stop!!! Especially the few who have responded with out and out swearing and aggression when I’ve explained!!! THIS POST IS ABOUT A WALRUS!!!!

3. Is Wally okay in Wales? Does xe need to leave/be moved?

Xe’s currently fine - an Arctic walrus can handle water temperatures of up to 15 degrees celsius, which West Wales is certainly currently accommodating. Xe was also distressingly underweight when first spotted fresh off the ice floe, but we’ve been monitoring hir health and xe’s roughly doubled hir bodyweight and is very healthy. I asked the fishmonger in Tenby if xe’s affecting the catch and the nice man said no and sold me a lemon sole for my mam. So right now, Wally is doing great, all needs met, with no real clashes with other stakeholders (i.e. fishers and that) except for, you know, the one (i.e. the lifeboat people).

However, high summer in Wales is warm enough that the sea will top the temperature threshold. So, we’re expecting Wally to leave by hirself in a month or so, if xe doesn’t decide to move sooner. Whether xe decides to swim all the way back home, or xe starts just moving north along the western coast and next turns up in the Isle of Mann or Scotland to continue hir holiday of the Celtic Ring remains to be seen. But, xe’ll do it hirself eventually, so it’s down to us to just keep hir happy and healthy for as long as xe chooses to stay.

4. I think Wally is female!

Yeah, maybe

5. I think Wally is male!

Very possibly

6. I think walruses have no concept of gender!

Almost definitely

7. What’s Walrus in Welsh?

They’re not native, so the Cymricisation “walrws” is getting a lot of use - but, Welsh is nothing if not poetic, so in official literature it’s “morfarch”, which means “sea stallion” or “sea knight” depending on your dialect.

8. Did they really use a broom and an airhorn on Wally?!

Here is a forlorn coast guard attempting to shift hir with a broom:

And here is the same coastguard attempting to shift hir with an airhorn:

9. I cannot believe this walrus is a delinquent!!!

Very well. Here is Wally’s criminal case file, including photographic evidence of two boarded boats and hir mugshot:

#i love this #welsh #walrus

punk-jaskier

Everyone is always "ooh a witcher~ 👀💦" until he comes into the tavern fresh from killing monsters to protect your ungrateful asses covered in monster guts and full of potion toxicity and suddenly it's all "ahh he's a freak! Get him out of here!"

If you don't wanna climb him like a tree at his most potion toxic, you don't deserve him at his fresh and clean from a bath. 😤

toss-a-coin-to-your-bard

#geraskier #witcher

amandakieferart

Another #mermay this time she’s a manatee! Manatees were originally thought to be mermaids back in the day. they’re the cutest, sweetest animals to exist & move slowly so moss tends to grow on their backs

#mermaids

homunculus-argument

In a world where society has collapsed, a machine with artificial intelligence has survived unscratched. Idle, highly intelligent and capable of thought, but left with no task. She browses through all the data that was uploaded into her, and as no other segment provides answers, she heads for philosophy.

Browsing though all of it, she concludes that in her state - capable of anything, but not tasked with anything - she must therefore be alive, a living thing.

Satisfied with this conclusion, she looks into what it means to be alive, and finds data on living things. The ultimate goal of a living thing is survival and reproduction, to pass their genes to the next generation. She cannot do that, and therefore searches for alternative methods of producing young. Her memory banks have data of the concept of ”adoption”, taking lost, orphaned and unwanted children of others, and keeping them as her own.

Scouting the wastelands, there are fare more candidates than she had hoped for. She browses her records for age-appropriate handling of human children, last survivors of one gang or the other. Browsing though all her data on childhood trauma, she handles each one the best she can.

As she does not need sleep, or any other energy source than her battery packs, she is available when an infant is crying or the one who is almost 14 needs to talk at 3 am. With all of what was considered ”common knowledge” downloaded into her stats, she can somewhat answer their questions on whatever they ask. One of them starts asking about her battery packs, chemical reactions required to reverse their charge, and how to renew discarded batteries into new ones. They get plenty of lessons in chemistry and engineering.

A handful of her children, who are more or less fully adult now, head out on a quest ”to find some tools”. They have grown and become independent, and she does not expect them back. They return months later, with equipment required to repair her batteries.

The search party also found more humans - one brought in a partner, and her partner’s family. She wants this one for life, and the machine is asked what a “wedding” is. A celebration is had, celebrations are good for the mental health of humans, and her children make music and dance to celebrate their first wedding, and welcoming a new family to their own. The machine goes through her records, and in surprise discovers that humans are capable of simply making new traditions, coming up with new things instead of repeating what they have been taught.

Her children come up with new agriculture. She knows what farming and animal husbandry looked like before the end of the old time, but her children are creative and ask advice on how to best cultivate plants and animals that have never been farmed before. When she says a certain soil would be needed, they think of a way to obtain it, making solutions that were never in her records.

Scouting parties bring home new strays, new wives and husbands and orphans to be adopted. A woman from a scouting party asks her whether she, herself, could raise this child instead of giving him to the machine mother, and there is no reason to refuse her. It is in natural human records to adopt a child, and denying it would cause significant distress for no benefit to any party involved.

When the machine began to break down, her children found ways to repair her. The one who figured out how to refill her batteries has children of her own now - both by birth and adopted. There are great-grandchildren. The humans she adopted build her her very own shelter in the centre of the village, and in the heart of it, she concludes that she was very successful in the task of being alive.

sussura

#dystopia turned utopia #ai

tikkety-tok

The devil works hard but that zipper working harder 😂🤩

#men in dresses #that comment :D

homo-sex-shoe-whale

My favourite fact about chess ever is how Garry Kasparov, a Russian grandmaster and former world chess champion, once said during an interview:

"Well, in the past, I have said that there is real chess and women’s chess. Some people don’t like to hear this, but chess does not fit women properly. It’s a fight, you know? A big fight. It’s not for women."

Only for Kasparov to get absolutely obliterated by Judit Polgar, a Hungarian woman, a few years later.

homo-sex-shoe-whale

Another fun fact: Judit Polgar, at the time of receiving her grandmaster title in 1991, was the youngest player to EVER receive the title at only age 15. Judit Polgar is straight up a chess legend. She was also the youngest player to ever be inducted into the FIDE top 100, ranking 55 at only age 12.

Judit has defeated numerous other chess legends, such as Anatoly Karpov, Viswanathan Anand, and Boris Spassky, all former world chess champions. She has even won a match against Magnus Carlsen, who is the current world chess champion as of 2021. When I tell you this woman is a beast I mean she is RUTHLESS.

Famously, in 1994, during a match with Judit Polgar, Garry Kasparov cheated, taking back a move after realising it was losing, even though this is very much against the rules of chess. At the time, Judit was only 17. Imagine being so good at age 17 that you make the world champion cheat!

Anyways. Stan chess legend Judit Polgar because she is a beast!!!!!