Call me mf (not motherfucker, my actual name lol). /// Mostly a writing blog. 30 / lgBt / italian / she - her. Youāll see rants in Italian once in a while
The show "FROM" is one of those shows that isn't for everyone, not bc it's a matter of taste but bc it's a matter of intelligence and paying attention, people have an obsession with complaining about the show "having nothing" "being confusing" y'all just don't pay attention, the show is filled with content, with things to speculate about (which is what makes it even more fun) it's full of mystery and story building, and that's your problem, the fact that they want to actually build their story and mystery instead of making something rushed, and y'all want everything shoved down your throats and made completely clear to you.
3 Times Ryuji was Outed, and 1 Time He Chose the Words Himself
I'm so very excited to share this with you all! Ryujiās struggle with accepting his sexuality is so special to me. So I really wanted to highlight him this Pride month and share some canon moments from the story, as well as, moments I wrote just for this.
I cannot wait to hear your thoughts!!
1. A Lesson
[This is a not a moment we see in the story, but it is a headcanon of mine from Ryuji's childhood.]
The first crack of the Mirror Rod splits the air almost delicate in its precision. The sting follows a breath later, sharp enough to jolt his muscles, but he barely registers it. Pain was expected. What twisted in his chest was the shame at all the eyes on himā a line of his fellow Kemuri trainee's standing at attention, each waiting for their turn.Ā
Emotion is the fog that blinds the blade. Heās repeated that mantra since he could speak, carved it into his bones, breathed it like air. Yet here he was, kneeling on cold stone while his father watched, silent and unblinking, for any flicker of the weakness heād already shown while the members recite it back at him. Each phrase punctuated by another ringing blow meant to cleanse him. As if the words themselves can scrape away whatever his stepbrother claimed heād seen.Ā
The rod gleams as itās passed from one assassin to the next, its polished surface catching his reflection in warped fragments. That is its purposeāto show him the version of himself who had faltered. The version his stepbrother had dragged into the light with a smirk and a careless, poisonous phrase.Ā
He fires with a bent bow.Ā
The words slither back into his mind before he can stop them. His father hadnāt even looked at him when he heard it, just a long, cold silence, the kind that settled deeper than any bruise. The kind that makes him wish the Mirror Rod would strike harder, just to drown out the echo of it.Ā
Another assassin steps forward. Another reflection. Another reminder of the moment heād let his gaze linger where it shouldnāt have. Not that it meant anything. Not that a glance proved anything at all.Ā
He forces the thought away before it takes shape. Discipline will fill whatever cracks feeling had left behind. Clarity is earned, not assumed. And today the rod, will make sure he remembers who heās supposed to be.Ā
2. A Lucky Guess
[This is canon moment from the story, and one of my favorite moments, where Myya accidentally uncovers Ryujiās deepest secret while they are searching the Stronghold]
āUgh, youāre just like him,ā Ryuji groans. āSo many questions. Nosy.āĀ
āWho? Ishida? I take that as a compliment,ā Myya smiles, hurrying to keep pace with him. āand besides, Iām not being nosy. Iām only trying to have a conversation. The only time you usually talk is to express how much you hate all of us.āĀ
āI donāt hate all of you.āĀ
āThen why do you act like it? Especially, with Ishida, whatās he ever done to you?āĀ
āThat caster-ā
āIshida.ā
āShouldnāt even be here, itās far too dangerous- not to mention heās been acting strange since we arrived. Constantly spacing out and fiddling with that necklace. Heās going to-ā
āYouāre worried about him?āĀ
The question nearly stops the archer in his tracks, āWhat? No.ā
āKinda sounds like you are.āĀ
āHim being here puts everyone at risk. Especially, Takashi if we get caught.ā
āIshida knows what heās doing, trust him.āĀ
āCasters cannot be trusted.āĀ
āDo you seriously still consider him your enemy? Heās saved your life how many times?āĀ
āHeās a caster,ā she hears the archer mutter behind her.
āYou keep saying that like you want it to mean something. Take that away, whatās your problem with him?ā
āEverything. Heās horrible. Heās loud and arrogant. He has no respect for people of power and higher statusānot to mention personal space. Heās always spouting off opinions, using those ridiculous nicknames, flirting with complete strangersāā
āWhy do you care who he flirts with?āĀ
āW-wha, I donāt. Iām saying his shameless behavior is inappropriate, obnoxious, andāāĀ
Myya eyes him as the list goes on. She has half a mind to tell the archer where he can stick his bow, but when she sees the pensive look on his face, she stops.Ā
āSo, what Iām hearing is, you like Ishida.āĀ
Ryuji comes to a dead stop, his head spinning around to face her like an owl.
āWhat?ā
āYou like him,ā she repeats, deciding not to waiver. āYou like Ishida.āĀ
āThatās ridiculousā Ryuji scoffs.Ā
āIs it?āĀ
āHeās a caster.āĀ
āAnd you like him.āĀ
The assassinās face scrunches, his eye almost twitching.Ā
āIt all makes sense now,ā she grins. āYourĀ tough-guy bully routine is just an act so none of your assassin buddies find out that youāāĀ
Ryuji grabs her arm.Ā
āHey! Watch it!ā She exclaims, āThat hurts!āĀ
There are voices coming from around the corner and Ryuji puts a hand over her mouth and tucks them behind a stone column.
āDo you even hear what youāre saying?ā He hisses in a whisper. āHeās a man.āĀ
Myya squints, āOk and?āĀ
āIām not-ā the archer nearly shouts, but collects himself, lowering his voice. āI do not like men.āĀ
āI never said that you did. I said you liked Ishida.āĀ Ā
She gasps when Ryuji grabs her arm and drags her into one of the rooms.Ā
āYou,ā he starts, his voice shaking, āhave no idea what youāre saying, what youāre insinuating.āĀ
āWhatās the big deal?ā Myya grunts, āI didnāt say you were in love with him and besides even if you did like guys it doesnāt matter. I donāt know why youāre getting so upset about it. Look at Takashi! He doesn't care about that sort of thing, and heās a Prince!āĀ
Ryuji scoffs, releasing his grip. āDon't preach to me about things you know nothing about. Someone like you could never understand. I am a soldier.ā
"Someone like me? What- Did your brain stop developing so your legs could keep growing? What does liking men have to do with being a Kemuri or whatever you call yourself?ā
āYou donāt get it. My familyāI donātāIām not,ā he bites his lip. āI canāt.āĀ
Myya watches him and the way his hands shake. His entire body is ridged and thereās a fear in his eyes sheās never seen before. He looks like heās on the verge of a panic attack. āThereās nothing wrong with it,ā she says, feeling guilty about unintentionally exposing something she wasnāt meant to know, āand your family shouldn't care either way. Neither should you. It shouldnāt matter who they are, their gender, their family, nothing.āĀ
āYou say that like itās easy,ā Ryuji scoffs.Ā
āIt is easy. Love is love. Itās as simple as that.āĀ
Ryuji shakes his head. āYou donāt get it.āĀ
He claps his hands behind his back and walks over to the window. Myya takes a few tentative steps towards him. Hesitantly, she places her hand on his arm, feeling him tense.Ā
āIām sorry,ā she says, āI wonāt tell anyone, I promise.āĀ
āThereās nothing to tell.ā
āWhatever you say,ā she shrugs. āBut you shouldnāt let otherās dictate your happiness. It isnāt fair to you,ā she watches the archer wrinkle his nose before stepping away to give him space.Ā
āAnd for the record,ā she adds hanging in the doorway, āyou could do way worse than Ishida. Heās an amazing person. He changed my life and I wouldnāt trade his friendship for anything.āĀ
Before he can respond, she exits into the hallway. Maybe Ishida is right, maybe there is more to Ryuji than meets the eye, you just have to chip through his hard outer shell. She hopes her words provided some encouragement, but as the archer strides past her, like sheās not even there it fills her with doubt. She has to nearly jog to keep up with him as they set off back down the carpeted hallways. Itās clear that heās still hell bent at keeping everyone at a distance, including himself.
3. A Friend Knows
[Another canon moment from the story where Takashi reveals heās known all along. It is important to note here that Takashi is very drunk (upset over the break up with Hein) and it's also important to note that drunk Takashi is my favorite hahaha.]
Ryujiās eyes follow them out onto the dance floor until his neck strains from the angle. He turns back sighing and looks over at the Prince still slouched on the stool like a squashed mushroom.
"Sit up," he tells him, pushing against his back.Ā
"He won't even look at me," Takashi whines and Ryuji rolls his eyes.Ā
"I wouldn't want to look at you right now either," he grumbles, glancing back at the dance floor.Ā
āThatās mean,ā the Prince pouts and tilts his glass upside down to get the last drop. āYou donāt have to be so -hic- oops,- hic- mean all the time. You can relax and have- have a good timeāhicā
"What are you going on about now?"Ā
"You know what," Takashi emphasizes waving at the groups around them. The gesture causes him to lose his balance, but he catches himself on the counter.Ā
"We need to get something to eat."Ā
"Ugh, there you go, avoiding the topic, like you always do."Ā
"Can you blame me? You make it look like such a messy business,ā He looks down at the glass Ishida had left behind. āLove is the death of peace of mind.āĀ
āNo, no. Youāre-youāre wrong. You need, you know what you need? You need a wingman!ā He throws his arm around Ryujiās neck. āWho shall we get?ā
āNo,ā Ryuji refuses, shifting in his seat in hopes Takashi will let him go.
"How about the bartender?Heā hicā seems interested.āĀ
Ryuji looks over, watching as Garron mixes a few drinks. When he catches Ryuji staring he winks at him. Ryuji ducks. How didā his head snaps to the drunken Prince.
"What makes you think-"
āNot into Udrons? Ok,ā Takashi spins on the stool, āhow about the guy over there?ā He points to one of the men by the band.
Ryuji grabs his arm and turns him back to face the bar.Ā
āDid MyyaāāĀ
āMyya?ā
āNothing. Forget it. Letās justāā
"Come on Ryuji, I may be a dumb Prince, but I'm notāIām not stupid. I saw whoād catch your eye at all of those parties, while you, you were sulking. It wasnāt the girls.āĀ
āI-I, Iām not. I donāt.ā
āItāsok,ā Takashi pats his back. āI get it. So tell me whatdoyoulike?ā
āCan we not talk about this?ā Ryuji asks, feeling like he wants to crawl out of his skin. "I am not that kind of man, and I never will be."Ā
āThatās not true,ā Takashi pouts. āYou, you just have to take a danceāa chance. Stop doing duty stuff and do for you,ā he presses a finger to Ryujiās chest tapping it with each word. āBecause you need happy.āĀ
"Takashi-"
"Ah! Ah! I am the Prince, I have spoken!" he pounds his fists on the bar counter like a gavel. āAnd you owe me for, cus Iām your best friend and you told Myya.ā
āI didnāt tell her,ā Ryuji corrects, āshe figured it out somehow.āĀ
āAw, I canāt stay mad at you,ā Takashi sings, not having heard what he said. He wraps his arms around his neck like a child. Ryuji grabs onto him to keep them steady on the stool.
+ 1 A Choice
[This scene doesn't happen in the story, but I wanted to give it to Ryuji because he deserves it. Perhaps something close to it will happen...we'll see]
Lanterns float overhead in a haze of orange, casting the bar in a warm, restless glow. Ryuji traces his finger around the glass in front of him, focusing on the disappearing froth instead of the celebration thatās pressing in from every side. His eyes slip to the shadowed corners where the lanterns canāt reach, quick, subtle sweeps to make sure the atmosphere stays harmless.
Takashi sits next to him, a seat away, a collection of empty glasses crowding the shelf. He chats with a small group of girls, the same group that swarmed him the moment he arrived, begging for a dance. Heād refused with a grin, eyes never leaving the field ahead of them.Ā
Sorry, ladies, my heart is happily spoken for, heād said, as effortlessly as breathing.Ā
Ryujiās gaze drifts to the field as well, scanning unfamiliar faces out of habit before settlingāinevitablyāon one. Lantern-light washes over Myya, Ishida, and Hein as they dance, but itās Ishida who holds him still. The way he moves, the way he laughs, the way the orange glow reflects off the white of his hairā¦it tugs at something he keeps locked behind his ribs.Ā
When the song ends, Hein makes his way towards the bar, flushed and breathless from the dance. Takashi doesnāt hesitate; he reaches out and pulls the Essence into his lap, the girls forgotten in an instant. Itās so natural for him, so unthinking, so open. Ryuji watches the ease of it, the comfort, the certainty, and swallows the quiet ache he feels.Ā
He wishes it were that simple for him.Ā
Ishida joins them a moment later, slipping into the seat between him and Takashi. Close enough to be near, but just far enough that no one will think twice about it. Itās a habit heās picked up ever since they becameā¦whatever it is they are. Ryuji notices it every time. Feels it every time.Ā
Like Takashi, Ishida expresses most of his affection through touch. When they are alone, heās all warm hands and easy closeness, leaning into him like itās the most natural thing in the world. But out here, surrounded by strangers, he holds himself carefully in check. A few inches of space. A polite distance. A quiet question: are you ok with this?Ā
In truth, Ryuji hates the distance. Hates that Ishida feels he needs to create it, and yet he understands and appreciates the gentleness behind it. The patience. The way Ishida has never pushed him towards the truth, he still can't say out loud.Ā
He wishes he could reach across the space. Just a brush of fingers. A touch to say Iām yours too. He wishes he could be as open as Takashi, as unafraid. He wishes he didnāt have to think so hard about something that should feel simple. But the words stay locked behind his teeth, and the inches between them feel heavier than they should.Ā
Myya drifts up to the bar on Ryujiās other side next, cheeks red and hair sticking to her temples in the lantern-lit heat. She leans across the counter with a grin and calls for a drink. The bartender slides it across the bar with a practiced flick. Then, busy, distracted, he reaches for the nearest glass out of habit. Ryujiās glass.Ā
He plucks it from his hand before Ryuji can protest, eyeing the warm, frothiness that remains with a raised brow.Ā
āItād be a crime to drink that,ā he says, setting it aside. āWhat can I get for you and your friend?ā He nods towards Ishida, already reaching for clean glasses.
Ryuji feels the word settle in his chestāsimple, harmless, ordinary. Friend. He could let it pass. He always does. But Ishida is right there beside him, sitting carefully, respectfully, leaving those few inches of space that only exist because heās never been brave enough to close them. And suddenly, with the lantern-light warm on his skin, Myya humming beside them, and Takashi laughing under his breath, the distance feels unnecessary. Small, silly.Ā
He reaches out before he can talk himself out of it. His fingers brush Ishidaās hand on the counter, light at first, then firmer, threading through so their fingers interlock.Ā
āHeās not my friend,ā he says, voice steadier than he expected. āHeās my boyfriend.ā
The bartender blinks, then smiles like what he said was nothing out of the ordinary. āThen Iāll make it two of my best.ā And he moves off to prepare the drinks.Ā
Ishida shifts closer, not casually this time, but with a soft, relieved exhale, and presses a small kiss to Ryujiās arm, right below the shoulder. Warm. Certain. Proud. Takashi lets out a low whistle and claps Ryuji on the back, not teasing, justā¦pleased. Then he slides over to stand beside Myya, Hein on his arm, both grinning so wide their cheeks probably hurt.Ā
Ryuji lets out a breath he didnāt realize heād been holding. Something inside him loosens. Something tight and knotted and old. The air feels lighter. He feels lighter.
For the first time, the space around him doesnāt feel like something he has to guard. It feels like something he can live in.Ā
I love how the three times he was outed (sorta) became gentler and gentler š„ŗ like, the first one is basically a hate crime, the second one leaves him all anxious and grumpy and the last one he immediately accepts that Takashi knows (I mean, heās Takashi after all) and just sulks because he wants to get him a man lol.
And the last one? BABY I AM PROUD OF YOU! I also liked the princess glimpse I got š„°š„° theyāre so cute
"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.
You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.
Cassie recently shared an old art of mine on her Instagram story and it kinda revived my burnout for a minute š juuuusssttt long enough to draw everyoneās favorite Husbands!
Hope you like it!
Have a safe and happy Pride Month š³ļøāš
(Also only real fans understand Alecās shirt š)
I LOVE COLLABORATIVE SOTRYTELLING I LOVE CREATING THINGS TOGETHER I LOVE "YES AND"ING WITH OTHERS I LOVE "NO BUT WHAT ABOUT-"S I LOVE HEARIJG MY FRIENDS' IDEAS I LOVE BOUNDING OFF OF THEM I LOVE ART I LOVE STORIES I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT PASSIONS AND SKILLS REQUIRED I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT MEDIA IT TAKES I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE
if i crashed into fromville i would immediately institute a law requiring a daily debrief every morning where everyone has to share what they did the day before and if you're caught lying or holding information we will shoot you in the street. furthermore i would stand atop the police station or maybe a nice house set somewhere between the town and colony house with a megaphone (im sure someone had one on themselves when they got here) retelling information to passersby. "fatima is eating garbage as a pregnancy symptom." "randall likes men." "boyd went into the forest again." "also apparently we're talking to ghosts now." "beware a woman in a red kimono that bitch is not to be trusted." "fucking hell everyone stop listening to the evil voices in your head."
One of the things I love about Takashi is how casual he is about his sexuality. Itās not something I wrote with intention, but rather it came about because thatās who he is. It came out naturally when writing his character.
He isnāt shy about who he is, his values, or who he loves.
Itās what gives the story beautiful lines like: āWhy limit myself to one gender when I can have both?ā
said with a shrug because to Takashi being bisexual is the same as being a Prince. Itās natural to him and he is unapologetically proud.