Funny Text Posts

[cardaughter]

guinea pigs are just hairy baked potatoes

[t3xuallyactive]

“tired” isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore it’s just an inherent part of my personality at this point

[t3xuallyactive]

I would be an awful parent. My kid would say “I don’t wanna go to school I just wanna sleep” and I’d probably get in bed with them and say “I feel you”

[theblackship]

minseoktoe:

chii24:

THE SUN IS ON FIRE, I REPEAT, THE SUN IS ON FIRE.

#THE OCEAN IS FLOODING #I REPEAT #THE OCEAN IS FLOODING.

[cloudsaspillows]

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, THE EARTH IS SPINNING GUYS, IT’S FUCKING SPINNING!!

[makeitmagical]

A MYSTERIOUS GAS HAS SETTLED ALL THROUGHOUT EARTH AND WE ARE CURRENTLY BREATHING IT IN

[buffoello]

this site. seriously.

[bridezillas-deactivated20130208]

rosa parkour

leaping over segregation

[t3xuallyactive]

If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

[8yrs-deactivated20130129]

fun fact: cleopatra had semen slaves who would spend their day masturbating so she could use cum as a beauty product

[k1mkardashian]

literally all the goals 

[narcissistic-idol-deactivated20]

living in the fast lane no one can tame her you go cleopatra

[nintendogs64-deactivated2013080]

there’s something very satisfying about buying office supplies but I’m not quite sure how to explain that feeling

[sofapizza]

current status

[azealiabanksy]

so my uncle is a priest and apparently can’t deny when i ask him to bless something so i now have a blessed laptop, blessed loaf of bread, and blessed underwear. 

[azealiabanksy]

i just asked him to bless this post and he did 

[ghoulpup-deactivated20121002]

is it pets mart or pet smart

[chrystelle-deactivated20181001]

are we human or are we dancers

[lolripbyebye]

where am I

[francieum-blog]

To the first question, it is Pet Smart.

Each of the words are a different color, and the ball bounces in between both of the words.

And as for the second question, we are human. Dancer is a type of profession.

[broriarty]

that poor third person’s question wasn’t answered they’re probably still lost

[spookihope]

I’ll never forget the time I went to a gay pride parade and on the way back home the train was so packed everyone was literally hugging each other and I said “I can’t take this, I’m just a small town girl”

then my friend said “living in a lonely world”

AND THEN THE ENTIRE FUCKING TRAIN CAR STARTED SINGING JOURNEY

[kiwilesbian]

#and thats what you missed on glee

[nue-deactivated20130114]

i just realized 13/13/13 next year is gonna be a really unlucky day! stay safe everyone and happy new years!

[themagicruby]

There will be no 13/13/13, there are 12 months in a year.

[nue-deactivated20130114]

what do u mean

[flamehs]

There is no 13th month… December is the last month of the year and it’s the 12th month, so 13/13/13 won’t happen.

[nue-deactivated20130114]

wtf that makes no sense„ dombass….. think before u speak

[1612th-deactivated20120108]

english words that pitbull knows

party

miami

[beyoncebeytwice]

dalé

[h0odrich]

since when was that english

[flouwers-deactivated20130217]

no one ever asks me personal stuff like aren’t you at least curious about what i look like or something what if i’m bruno mars

[hugt0wer-deactivated20121113]

i wont rest until ive complained about everything

[evaunit08]

I’ve been to the year 3000

[theyellowbrickroad]

not much has changed but they lived underwater

[strongbowdarkfruit]

and the population faces a daily battle of starvation fuel shortage and unemployment

[nvvyv788-deactivated20141122]

and your great great great granddaughter is doin’ fine