a thorn in my own side

carson 🍓 stick your fingers through the bars of my enclosure i promise not to bite you

[bearie]

[cristalplanetheart]

[garfield-comic]

[valtsv]

sometimes bad things happen to you but the manner in which they're inflicted is so indistinguishable from the sorts of cruel and unusual misfortunes that befall a character in a sitcom created for the sole purpose of suffering for other people's entertainment that it's impossible to even begin to get upset about it

[valtsv]

i was already having what can only be described as a pretty fucking bad day and my coworkers noticed and were kind enough to offer me the last of the freshly baked limited edition cookies we've recently started selling that i cannot get enough of, and just as i'd finished thanking them sincerely for such a thoughtful and touching gesture of goodwill a customer walked in, pointed at the single cookie in the display case, ordered it and absolutely nothing else, and left

[valtsv]

god i've seen what you've done for others and you are doing some straight up looney tunes shit to me

[catasters]

[sayruq]

Donate to Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian Kids in north Gaza, organized by Hani Almadhoun

Do you know what it’s like to watch your family starve? I do. My… Hani Almadhoun needs your support for Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian

Donate!!!!!! Boost!!!!!

[girlmostlikely]

[sayruq]

[licencetokrill]

The GoFundMe for Watermelon Relief is here:

Donate to Watermelon Relief: Aid for Displaced Families in Gaza , organized by Carolina Salgueiro Pereira

Feed Hope: Supporting Displaced Families in Gaza through Wate… Carolina Salgueiro Pereira needs your support for Watermelon Relief: Aid for

[dankmemeuniversity]

[vapid-gay]

[apjvff]

*calls employer after job interview*

me: oh um, hello, i was here for a job interview last week and i was just wondering how it went? *clenches teeth and holds my breath*

employer: oh sorry the job opening went to someone else

me: is it my pussy stink or…..?

[babyanimalgifs]

Mother opossum with her babies

(Source)

[wizardarchetypes]

objectively this is one of the funniest shots in all of cartoon history. Spongebob getting advice from Patrick, and Patrick says, “have I ever not been right?” And then it cut to this still.

The team had to come up with an image that is both outrageous but also appropriate for kids. And they landed on this (along with an image of Spongebob and Patrick in speedos at the beach, also hilarious).

I want to know who pitched this. The pumpkin mouth funnel. This image will utterly undo me for as long as I live.

[depsidase]

[catchymemes]

[orlyofhousesnark]

[leashamariel]

Do people know this is the husband of the prime minister of New Zealand

[creekfiend]

And who is the guy burying him in the sand

[guerrillatech]

[anarchistmemedistro]

imagine accusing the us military of being too woke

[machine-saint]

honestly the original is still funnier than 85% of the edits people make

[warlockwhore]

my favourite roast of all tiem is ‘‘you look like pepsi max’‘

[warlockwhore]

how do you fucking recover