One thing Iâve always noticed is how some people find it amazingly difficult to write pregnant characters. A couple of months ago I wrote a full story about a pregnancy, and I did my research. So I might be able to help.
» Make sure you want to do this
Keep in mind that a pregnancy isnât the easiest thing in the world. It takes doctor appointments, a lot of exhaustion, sickness and, most importantly, time. If you didnât know, it takes about nine months for a baby to be born. Thatâs almost 275 days. That means that you should only go on if you really want to create a baby in your story, because you canât skip too much time - it isnât like the movies where in one scene the ladyâs finding out sheâs pregnant, and in the other, sheâs already in labor.
Hereâs a tip: if you really want to make your characters happy and thrilled with the news of baby, but you canât afford the time and sweat that it takes to cook one, you have from 21-23 weeks to write a miscarriage.
Letâs talk about the elephant in the room: the conception. Even if you donât write any kind of smutty scenes, you should let the reader know when and where the pregnancy started.
Unprotected Sex:Â think about how youâre going to put this in your story. If your characters are usually responsible, they wonât simply forget wearing a condom. Think about what is going on: are they completely sane? Are they under the influence of alcohol? Are they high (which, I must say, wouldnât exactly make your characters irresponsible - it would either get them too horny to care or even more responsible than they already are)? Or are your characters already drowned to each other in a way that they canât think of anything else? Are they married and actually planned on having this baby? All of this will have an influence on how the pregnancy will flow, and how it will affect people around it.
Donât think your character is going to find out sheâs pregnant a week after the conception. It takes some time even for the baby to start, and if you remember biology classes, itâs not a simple process. It will take weeks, maybe months, for the woman to realize that she might be pregnant, and not all of the symptoms come in the first trimester. Usually, the first thing to warn her is that she is free of the devilish blood lost that comes once a month. Here are some symptoms that basically everyone gets:
Absence of Period: every women keeps track of her monthly blood lost, even if not strictly. Of course your character might find herself way too busy or stressed and that will cause her not to realize that itâs been a week, a month, two months without it, but, eventually, she will notice. From the conception until birth.
Small bleedings: sometimes, a woman might bleed a little when sheâs in the first weeks or months of pregnancy. Itâs nothing much and it doesnât happen for too long; so it might cause some scare if she already knows sheâs pregnant, or some relief if she was only suspecting. Either way, it doesnât mean sheâs not pregnant. Itâs completely normal for a woman to bleed in her first weeks. From the first week until the end of the first trimester.
Cramps: every woman has it - which can also cause confusion if she doesnât know sheâs pregnant or is only suspecting it. As you may know, some people experience menstrual cramps before, during or after their periods, and the same happens during pregnancy. From the first week until the birth.
Breasts Increase: it might happen during the first few weeks, but after maybe one month, there will most likely already have a difference. A woman might notice something weird maybe not because theyâre growing, but because theyâre hurting. Your characterâs breasts should get more and more painful at touch. As the pregnancy goes, they will continue to get bigger and bigger, and that might alert other people if she still hasnât realized sheâs got one in the oven. From the second/third week until birth.
Dizziness and Sickness: some movies make it seem like a woman canât eat, smell or sleep through a whole night without throwing up. The morning sickness will come after some weeks, and it will be a pain in the ass, but not like the television shows. Sometimes itâll be the middle of the night and your character will wake up to vomit, or itâll be the middle of the afternoon. Of course she will have a regular time where she will feel sick (when I say that, I mean as around 8am, for example, she feels like she needs to throw up) and in some mornings she will have it, and in others she wonât. Another thing that also is a bitch to pregnant women is that some scents will make them extremely dizzy and even feel the urge to vomit. Remember that it will not happen with everything and your character can easily go through a meal without feeling a thing, and ten minutes later she will sense a perfume that will set her off; other women donât even feel dizzy about smells at all. Usually from the first couple of weeks to the second trimester.
Stomach Swollen: not like a baby growing, obviously. All of the woman swells and her hands, finger, arms, everything will get bigger. Itâs not like sheâll notice it when she wakes up, but when her ring starts to get too small, itâs because somethingâs not right. From the first couple of weeks until birth.
Urge to pee all the time: this is something your character will need to get used to. It doesnât only start after she already has a big belly, actually; even from the first weeks of pregnancy, she already needs to go a lot more often than sheâs used to, and with a big baby pressed upon her bladder, sheâll barely be able to hold herself together. From the first month to birth.
Tiredness: after a few weeks into the pregnancy, your character should get tired more easily and feel sleepy all the time. Itâs not like she wonât have the energy to do anything, but if youâre writing a woman who is usually out in an adventure, she will get exhausted from something sheâs used to do and sleep for more time and more often. From the first week to birth.
Cravings: for some reason, people think that cravings only appear after the baby starts to show. To be honest, it depends from woman to woman, but some feel the urge to have something even from the early weeks of pregnancy. Keep in mind that it doesnât always have the be the weirdest things, but pregnant women arenât intimidated by something most people would find disgusting. From the first/second month (might be only after the second trimester) to birth.
Change of taste and smell: a woman will become more critical of what she eats when sheâs pregnant, sometimes even changing her palate. Sheâll also develop her sense of smell, which might cause some dizziness. From the first month to birth.
Gases: donât laugh. It happens to every pregnant woman, just as the peeing factor. Thereâs a baby pressing her organs, be nice. From the first couple of weeks to birth.
Mood Changes: it increases as the pregnancy goes on, but your character might experience it since the first weeks. Thatâs one of the things that will get people to notice how different she is. From the second to the third trimester, she could become so bipolar other people might not even stand being around the pregnant lady. From the first couple of weeks to birth.
Acne: donât forget the hormones of a woman are all over the place when sheâs cooking another human being. Itâs the teenage years all over again. It can come in any moment during the pregnancy.
Baby Belly:Â this one is pretty obvious. The biggest thing to point out is that your character wonât start to show after a month or two in the pregnancy, no matter the whole âit varies from woman to womanâ stuff. The baby will only start developing once it has formed organs and stuff, and that usually around the third month, in the beginning of the second trimester.
» Finding Out and Gender
This is something you and only you can define, but there are only a couple of ways for your character to find out sheâs pregnant: she will either go to the doctor and be examined, or she will take a pregnancy test.
Please keep in mind that pregnancy tests arenât always right and even if they come off negative, your character can still mark an appointment with her doctor because, really, if sheâs not pregnant and is presenting the first symptoms of it, somethingâs wrong and she must go the a hospital.
There is a hormone called HCG, and it is what will tell the doctor if the woman is pregnant or not. There are two different types of exams, the Qualitative, which will only point positive or negative, and the Quantitative, which will not only say if your character is pregnant, but also how far along she is. The level of HCG doubles after 48h into the pregnancy, so the doctors recommend to only take the test after a week of being late, and sometimes a woman might need to do it twice. If the result shows below 50mUl/ml, there isnât a baby, and until 100mUl, it isnât determinate. Above it, the woman is pregnant.
The gender of the baby will only be available after ten to twelve weeks, and thatâs when most of the doctors can identify twins.
Getting off the technical pregnancy issues, you should go back to your story. Think about everything a baby means.
How is your character going to take the news? Sometimes, unplanned pregnancy isnât welcomed too well, not even by the mother. Your character could easily decide to abort without a second thought or she might just go with it, even if sheâs not exactly happy, because itâs her baby and she wouldnât kill it for nothing in the world.
Think about the father:Â Is he a decent man? Does he have something going on in his life which doesnât allow him to be a dad right now? Will she stick with the mother, even if it was just a one night stand, even if he isnât happy about the baby? Will he be a complete asshole and push the mom to abort?
Think about what will happen to the baby: What if your characters donât want to kill their kid, but also canât be parents right now? There is always the option to give the baby away to someone who can and wants a baby. Or what if your characters do abort? Or the woman has a miscarriage? There are different ways to run from an unplanned pregnancy, such as there are ways to make it work. Okay, so maybe the baby wasnât planned. Maybe itâs what came from a drunk one night stand between two people who hate each other, but itâll bring those two together. Always create a pregnancy with a reason in mind. Thereâs not need to get a woman knocked up just for the sake of it.
How are they going to tell the news and how it will affect people around them? A baby isnât only the responsibility of two people. Donât forget that this baby has grandmothers and grandfathers, and maybe an uncle, or a borrowed aunt. What if the place where the mother works canât have a pregnant employee? What if the father is engaged to someone and just found how heâs gonna have a kid? I donât think a fiancĂ©e is fond to the idea of sharing her husband-to-be with a mistress and a baby who isnât even hers.Â
» Abortion, Miscarriage, Stillborns and Teenage Pregnancy
I needed to touch the subject. Iâm so sorry to whoever gets triggered with this kind of stuff, but⊠It can happen.
Abortion: not all countries allow it. For example, I live in a country where the clinics only perform abortions in people who will die from the pregnancy or who were raped (I think thereâs something more, but.) Do your research. If the story is going on in the country you live, itâs easier because you know how the thing works. Donât think abortion is the simplest thing to do. If youâre getting your teenage character an abortion, please notice that most clinics would need parentsâ consent. So your girl would end up in an illegal clinic and God knows what can happen from there. As it varies from country to country, it needs proper research.
Miscarriage and Stillborns:Â a baby dying is only considered miscarriage if it happens until around the sixth month (23-24 weeks.) After that, a baby who dies inside the mom is called a stillborn. Miscarriages vary from woman to woman, and itâs more likely to happen during the first trimester, which is why your character shouldnât get too focused on building a nursery or anything like that during that time. Your character might bleed the fetus all at once or at different times (it could even take a few days), which, during the first trimester, could be easily confused with the normal bleeding. After the third trimester has begun, a baby who dies is a stillborn, and your character might not even notice it if the baby doesnât usually kick or move much.
Teenage Pregnancy: a pregnancy is already complicated between two married adults, so imagine between two teenagers who donât even know what theyâre doing. A baby around that age affects a lot more than an adult, not only because neither the girl or the boy are ready to take care of another life, but also because there is school, the social pressure, the parents and the risks. Teenage pregnancies have more risk on miscarriages than normal, so if your character actually wants her baby, she better lay down and take care of herself really well. When youâre writing a, I donât know, sixteen year old girl getting pregnant, think about yourself when you were sixteen and how frightened you would be. Someone around that age canât even take care of herself alone, so she needs the support of other people. If the father isnât willing to compromise (which is more likely to happen if heâs older or the same age, because a baby at a teenage age can ruin the chances of chasing dreams and going to college or whatever else), your character needs to find other people. Donât try to create a tough girl who can do all of this by herself, because sheâll need to be a lot extraordinary not to break down. She wonât be able to go to school if she doesnât have people to take care of the baby, and later college, and later work. Teenage girls are scared of taking care of another life, so the parents are a wall of support she can have. Donât shut her down to friends and family.
So youâve gotten this far (let me applaud you, because damn.) Your character has survived nine months of making a baby and itâs time for her to pop.
Going Into Labor:Â the first thing that will happen to your character when she goes into labor is her water breaking. She might spill a lot of water or just a few drops, which might not alert her very soon, but - believe me - she will notice when the contractions start. A woman can bleed a little when sheâs going into labor either because sheâs already too dilated or because the water broke with a little bit of blood spilling, it doesnât mean much. The contractions should start when the water breaks, and theyâre painful as f*ck. Some women describe labor as the worst pain theyâve ever experience, and just a few canât even feel the contractions until theyâre too close and the baby is almost coming.
Labor:Â Iâm not going into details because what you should know is what you learned in health class and if you want that scene to be described really well, you do your research. What you need to know is that once a woman goes into labor, sheâll start getting contractions which are basically her body making path to the baby. It might be the most painful part of the process for some people, but once a woman is settled into a hospital and is dilated enough, doctors will give her a shot that will relieve the pain. Finally, when your character is 10cm dilated, the final process will begin and itâs time for the famous pushes and stuff. I would recommend someone to be with your character because, honestly, it will hurt a lot and she will need someone by her side in case of any complications or anything like that. Labors can variate from just a couple of hours to days (some women take a long time to get the 10cm dilated).
C-Section: your character can choose to have a C-Section if she doesnât want to go through the pain of the natural birth, so remember that if you want her to do that, she should book a date with the doctor. It can also be arranged if there are any kind of complications either for the baby or for the mom (like, letâs say the umbilical cord is wrapped around the little oneâs neck). It is more risky for the baby if there wouldnât be any problems with the natural birth, so your character will be warned if she chooses C-Section just so she wonât feel pain. What happens during the procedure: your character wonât feel pain because she will be anesthetized from the waist down, but she will be awake to hear the baby crying and even hold it in her arms.
My God, I think thatâs it. I hope this was helpful (and for the amount of hours I spent researching, it better be) for the one who were wondering what happened during a pregnancy.