Together Against Domestic Abuse

TADA's mission is to raise awareness in the community about all forms of violence, including ways to spot, prevent, and escape unhealthy relationships; TADA also aims to guide people in conflict resolution to foster healthy relationships.

[sparkamovement-blog-blog]

After being downloaded 55,000 times in 26 countries across the world, Circle of 6 is now available in its first localized form! Circle of 6 - New Delhi has the same basic functions as Circle of 6. The free app lets you:

Choose six trusted friends to connect to immediately and discretely in risky or uncomfortable situations

Send quick, easy SMS messages asking for an interruption

Send your exact GPS coordinates with your circle and ask them to come pick you up

Get information on healthy relationships and two-tap access to hotlines and other emergency resources

Here’s what’s new: Circle of 6 - New Delhi is available in both English and Hindi and comes pre-programmed with local helplines, including the newly formed 24/7 women’s hotline of New Delhi and the Jagori advocacy helpline. As a suggested third number, the user is directed to the Lawyer’s Collective if calling the police feels unsafe, which for many people it does. The GPS function has been tested on-the-ground in New Delhi to be sure it works as accurately and quickly as it does in the US. The language of the app remains gender neutral, and the app will continue to speak to users of all genders and sexual orientations. 

Help spread the word!

[tadanow-blog]

And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders Family in crisis that only grows older

- Lindsay Lohen: Confessions of a Broken Heart

When a parent becomes abusive, it often seems as though a monster took their place.  A child may focus on the positive memories of the past, and desperately cling to those, sometimes even excusing the parent's current actions out of love.

[tadanow-blog]

According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right. But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.

Orianthi - According To You

You deserve to be loved.  Don't let an angry partner make you feel inferior.

[doveinc-blog]

“Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go.”

(via doveinc)

[feminspire]

A gang rape happened in Ohio and no one heard about it. A gang rape happened in India and everyone heard about it (as we should). The American media has represented India as a misogynistic country where women need to be constantly wary of the men that surround them. And after that gang rape, large-scale protests blocked the streets and clogged the media. Now, I am in no way saying that rape and domestic violence are not problems in India. As an Indian-American woman who has been to India many times and is incredibly familiar with the culture, I am in no way denying that. Rape, in India, is a serious problem. Rape, especially in lower class areas in India, is an extremely prevalent problem that needs to stop being ignored and taken seriously. Violence against women in India is a serious issue. But violence against women in America is also a serious problem. Violence against women in South Africa, and Sweden, and Chile, and Thailand, is a serious problem. Violence against women is a serious problem. Period. Full stop. While our media went out representing India as a typical place for these deplorable events to happen, another woman’s similar story went ignored and without subsequent societal action. This country outright refuses to admit that it is a rape culture. Our media and our country are so obsessed with presenting foreign countries as worse than us or uncivilized or, most importantly, undemocratic, they will blast our radios and timelines and homepages with news of rapes in India, but refuse to acknowledge that the same thing happens here and is happening here.

Anisha Ahuja, Why Does America Pretend it Doesn’t Hate Women?(Feminspire.com)

(via govoritgromko)

[sparkamovement-blog-blog]

When athletes are accused of rape - and this is not the first or, unfortunately, the last time - often their teammates and coaches will scramble to defend them. That’s wrong. Athletes receiving preferential treatment is not uncommon and is undeniable at schools across this country, and in the case of Steubenville the safe haven of a team ready to go up to bat to defend two rapists has effectively squashed discussion around the central problem of the case: it doesn’t matter who rapes, or who is raped. It matters that a rape has occurred and that it occurred on camera and on the Internet and with great pride and joy from those allegedly involved. It matters that when these boys were publicly scrutinized for this behavior, which is undeniably tasteless and violent behavior stemming from probably equally tasteless and violent attitudes toward women, their teammates and coaches defended them publicly and privately. It matters because the only way people learn is by being told the truth - and the truth is that Coach Saccoccia and all of the Steubenville Big Red team should have stood in solidarity with what is right, and not who they know.

SPARK activist Carmen Rios 

Sports Culture should not mean Rape Culture. Sign on to the #EducateCoaches campaign here.

(via sparkamovement)

[tadanow-blog]

Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: Face Down

An empowering song about escaping an unhealthy relationship.  We thought it was an appropriate message to the Steubenville boys: do they feel like men now?

[tadanow-blog]

Steubenville: Speak Up.

As you may have noticed from our recent posts, we have been following the rape case in Steubenville and are appalled at the reaction of a large number of people, especially those in the media.  The fact that the girl was drunk, that the boys were athletes: none of that matters.  What matters is that the two  boys raped a girl.  What matters is that a rape occurred, end of story.  The fact that anyone is attempting to defend these boys is sickening.

So what can we do?  Speak up.  If you hear people defending these boys, challenge them.  If you see media tweeting their praises, tweet back.  Don't remain silent.  Those who make the loudest cry seem to be the majority; don't allow those who encourage the rape culture in our country to exist appear to be the majority.  That is not who we are.

[fuckyeahmarxismleninism]

In a move that might discourage women from reporting domestic abuse, the NYPD has issued a new directive to its officers that they run a criminal check on both the accused and the accuser when responded to an abuse call. The New York Post is reporting that a new memo sent out by the Chief of Detectives Phil Pulaski “requires detectives to look at open warrants, complaint histories and even the driving records of both parties.”

Advocates of abused women are worried that this new directive will dissuade women form reporting abuse, frightened of possibly being arrested for offenses like an outstanding traffic violation. Marilyn Chinitz, a lawyer who represents victims of domestic abuse told The Post that the directive “is very, very frightening.” She continued, “It would absolutely dissuade people. They would not report a crime because they would fear getting locked up. It would empower the perpetrator, and there’s going to be more domestic violence as a consequence, and you’re endangering children.”

[tadanow-blog]

Having checks such as this for the victim will make those already frightened to report even more so.  The fact that someone hasn't paid five parking tickets should not have any bearing on his or her being in a violent relationship; in fact, the parking tickets may be due to an inability to pay due to financial abuse.

[tadanow-blog]

I spent eleven long years In a hot house zone I spent twenty-nine more Tryin' to get home Well, I never got home But I did what I did And I got myself this house And you can't come in on

- Shawn Colvin: Get Out of this House

This was one of my mother's favorite songs when my father first left.  It's a great anthem to play, celebrating your new found freedom from an unhealthy relationship!  Every time I hear it, I think back to how our house transformed once my father left.  It may be older, but it's still worth a listen.

[fierymermaid-deactivated2013020]

[tadanow-blog]

Don't allow society to make you believe men cannot be abused.  This insightful article shines a light on truths that are often ignored.

"One has only to look at the recent Verizon ad on domestic violence to see every single disgusting stereotype we hold as a society distilled into a single piece of distorted propaganda. The father is the monster (because only men are abusers, don’t you know). Mother and daughter are terrified victims. The son is not a victim, but a monster-in-the-making. We’re not supposed to care about the trauma he suffers, other than that it might lead him to be an abuser of women and girls in the future. He’s not a victim, he’s a potential future perpetrator. His suffering means nothing to us, other than the fact that his suffering might lead him to victimize others."

[acidspittinghellmaggot]

**Trigger warning: Domestic abuse/violence, animal cruelty, racism, ableist language, sexual assault

Today marks exactly one year since I broke up with my abusive boyfriend.

I was planning a party post of sorts, we would listen to Gangnam Style and Caramelldansen and drink beer...

[tadanow-blog]

Note: Please take these trigger warnings seriously.  The orignal poster goes into great detail of various forms of abuse.

That aside, she paints an excellent picture of how a person can combine many forms of domestic abuse.  We're so glad that she had the strength and courage to escape, and hope that she (and her loyal cat!) surround themselves with loving friends and family.

[knowwhatyoudeserve]

I just want to speak a bit about unforgiveness. If you have been abused, or treated poorly, it is natural to not be able to forgive the abuser or bully right away. Take your time. You have to figure it out for yourself, and talking to someone is always a good idea. Abuse is not okay, bullying is bullying is not okay. It’s understandable if you can’t get past something immediately.

I just have to say, I know from personal experience, unforgiveness is a poison. It’s toxic. It binds you to the person that hurts you and it keeps those thoughts and fears in your head. You have to try to let it go, when you’re ready. You can’t hold onto that, it’s not good for you. Talk to someone. Ask for help. Do what it is that you have to do to free yourself. Unforgiveness can ruin new relationships, and sour existing ones. You have to be able to trust and love yourself again.

There’s no shame in talking to someone. Do it for yourself.

[tadanow-blog]

Forgiveness is difficult to give, but it is impossible to move on until you do.

Hopefully this poster's brave words will help somebody on this Friday night.

[waterliliesformilesandmiles]

[tadanow-blog]

Help us bring awareness to all forms of domestic violence, including that against men.  Stand up against stereotypes.

[trust-my-struggle]

Is there a particular reason why society believes females are the only people affected by domestic violence? Males can suffer as well. 

[sosirena]

I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse.

These pictures , which are somewhat disturbing to others, are a monument to all that I have accomplished. 

I was bound, raped, bruised, maimed, cut and dominated physically, but I found the strength to get out.

As I work towards my counseling degree for survivors of domestic abuse, every time I see their war-torn faces and the sadness in their eyes, I think of these photos.

[tadanow-blog]

Trigger warning: photos from domestic abuse situation in link.

We love reading success stories.  This woman is strong and beautiful!  Click the title of this post to read her full story.

[infographicjournal]

Domestic Violence: Truths Unfold

[tadanow-blog]

While this infograph offers great information, it does lack any facts on abuse against men.  Become educated on all forms of domestic violence.