Dazai is the type of person when you're about to order food and you ask him if he wants anything, he'll most likely decline the offer or only get a drink.
Yes he may struggle with eating, but why is it when he sees you enjoying something as simple as food, does that make him want some too. So then he just whines to you so you can give him a piece, but you shoot him annoyed look because you asked him if he wants to get something earlier and he didn't. (But we end up sharing it)
⌯⌲ because he’s a MAN, always wanting to eat my food!!!!
.·°՞(˃ ᗝ ˂)՞°·. however, in all seriousness, you’re sooooooo right, but primarily in friendship or early stages of the relationship. mini fic, anyone?
You were taught growing up when with others to offer getting them food or a drink, even if they said earlier they weren’t hungry. When you’re with Dazai, it is automatic to ask him if he wants to eat anything, especially since you have noticed he doesn’t necessarily take care of himself enough to get food as often as he should.
When you two were friends, it was hell trying to get him to eat anything. You offer while waiting in line at the food court in the mall? “No, I’m good.” You’d stare at him then buy something anyway to shove in front of him to eat so he isn’t hungry — mostly because you weren’t sure after you were done hanging out if he was going to make himself dinner when he got home. He’s annoying, sure, but you’d never let him starve.
Now that you two started dating — let’s spare the details — he is a little more lenient on allowing you to get him something to eat while you’re out together. You noticed, unless the date specifically calls for going out to lunch or dinner, he still won’t really accept food from you if you offer.
However… You side-eye him while you sit there, your food in front of you, mid-bite, and his sudden puppy dog eyes are darting from your face to the snack you obtained for yourself. In the beginning, you’d eat roughly half of it, then sit back, pretending to be stuffed.
“I’m actually really full,” you’d mumble, looking at him with so much fake self-pity, sticking your bottom lip out as if you had done something wrong. He’d stare at you, brow raising, but he wouldn’t say anything. “Can you finish it for me?” You’ll slide it over to him, and he’d glance down at it before looking back at you.
“Yeah, I don’t wanna waste it.” He’ll shrug then scarf down what’s left like your own personal garbage disposal.
Now that the relationship has settled, though, you get a little more annoyed than you used to. “Osamu, just get over here and tell me what you want. People are waiting.” You sigh, hand dropping down to your side.
“Uh, just a drink. Same as you,” he shrugs, standing off to the side, hand shoved in his jeans pocket as he waits. The mall’s crowded and while he loves spending time with you, there’s just far too many people standing around and crowding him. He’s trying to maintain his cool, but too many people have brushed up against his arm as is, and he just wants to sit down.
You roll your eyes, tired of his shenanigans, and decide for once to be utterly selfish — you’ve earned it, to say the least. You order your meal, his drink, and you go back to his side to sit at the nearest table. You scoot his cup across the surface, and begin eating.
A chair suddenly scoots closer to you, the sound of metal scratching along the floor, and you stop chewing long enough to see where it’s coming from: Dazai has entered your bubble — his favorite place to be — but he has his chin propped up on his hand, looking off elsewhere, with his straw in the corner of his mouth as he takes small sips. Your eyes narrow before going back to your meal, eating quietly, when he suddenly sighs heavily and dramatically. You ignore it, but switch to taking small sips of your own drink.
There’s a pause, he clears his throat, then sighs again. Louder. Making multiple people turn to stare at you two. Your body goes rigid and shoot him the most irritated of glares for garnering unwanted attention. He’s already looking at you, big puppy eyes back, and he bats his lashes.
“Come on!” He whines, roughly placing his head on your shoulder and hugging your arm. “Please! I change my mind, I’m hungry now.” He rushes out, acting like a child throwing a tantrum, and you hold your forehead at his actions while trying to shield yourself from the small chuckles and giggles at his behavior from bystanders. “You want me to starve.”
Grown ass man, by the way.
“Osamu,” you inhale, closing your eyes. “I asked if you wanted anything. You said no.”
“But it looks so good when you’re eating it!” He laments, his hand already coming up to sneak a fry. You don’t stop him, air huffing out of your nose, before sliding the rest of the fries and your half-eaten burger to be more in the middle.
“When was the last time you even ate?” You grumble, letting him continue hugging on you while he munches on your fries.
“Uh…” He thinks to himself a moment before shrugging. “I think the other day when we were out.” You stare blankly at the table, thoughts reeling in your head, and your cheeks puff out.
“Do I need to just start coming over and cooking for you?!” You bark out by accident, forgetting you’re in public, and he simply gazes up at you, unbothered, then smug. Check mate.
“Could just move in. Would save a lot of commute time.” You blink, realizing how easily you just walked right into that, and you don’t know if you want to strangle him or kiss his stupid face. He happily goes back to eating your fries, essentially stealing them all from you, and acts as if he didn’t somehow find a way to get you to finally agree to moving in and keeping him well-fed.
“… Annoying little shit.”
this was fun, i don’t usually write dazai being silly too often. it was good practice ♡
