ᝰ.ᐟ it's a situationship, baby
friends w benefits gn!reader x zanka
synopsis: you and zanka are more than friends, but less than lovers, you agreed it would stay that way because you were both afraid of it interfering with your work, however- zanka developed feelings for you, and you did too. but what'll it take for you two to finally confess?
warnings: suggestive, jealous-ish zanka, annoying ass enjin (love him tho), hickeys, no smut though :) !! also mentions of smoking, reader is a smoker, angst but ends up in fluff, AGED UP CHARACTERS
word count: 2,926
~ i was listening to childish gambino so this oneshot is sorta inspired off of "heartbeat" !!
Zanka ran his fingers through your hair, your neck was littered in hickeys from last nights intense makeout session. (Zanka's words, if it wasn't obvious. He's a loser.)
He analysed your sleeping face. You seemed so peaceful, your expression completely rested, muscles relaxed. He liked it. He pressed a chaste kiss to your nose before pressing his forehead against your own.
The feeling of Zanka's soft lips on your skin was enough to wake you up, however the familiarity of his lips couldn't startle you even if he tried. Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you returned his glance.
"G'mornin' sleepy head." Zanka mumbled and he lifted his hand up to cup your cheek. You giggled sleepily and sat up to stretch, rubbing sleep from your eyes.
"Heya Nijiku" You mumbled with a smirk. He looked so relaxed and unsurprisingly had his shirt off. You admired his chiseled figure and ran your finger up his arm, propping yourself up to face him against the headboard. "You sleep okay?"
He nodded and smiled at you lazily. "You?"
You returned his gesture and ruffled his hair, wriggling yourself off of his bed and stretched your arms up toward the cieling. Scratching your neck and wincing at the bruises Zanka left all over you. You'd figure it out later.
"Got somewhere to be?" He tilted his head and sat up in his bed, subconsciously copying your movements and stretching too.
"You don't?" You smirked at him and shuffled on top of him to press your finger into his forehead teasingly, shuffling off of him again and standing up to pull your pants on.
"Uff- Hey!" He groaned and rolled his eyes at you playfully. "Today is my day off, no bullshit duties ya know?" He grinned at you and pulled on his dressing gown, still cozied up in bed.
You hummed in acknowledgement and fiddled with your hair a little in Zanka's body length mirror that was mounted on the wall, until it looked good to you and turned to face him.
"How do I look?" You grinned at him playfully, more like you would a friend, and he felt his heart sink a little. Still, he gave you a thumbs up and smiled back. "You look good, like always."
Stupid of him to think last night was any different to the last. Today won't be any different either. You were still just friends. Just Y/N and Zanka.
He watched you leave and bid you farewell with a heavy heart, and curled into his bedsheets while trying so hard not to let any tears spill. He wouldn't cry over something so stupid. Maybe He's just reading into everything too much.
Zanka twiddled with the tassles hanging from his earlobes, fingers combing through the silky threads as his mind swirled with so many negative thoughts. He was just an average joe after all, how could you see him any differently than he saw himself?
He grunted and curled back up into the mound of blankets, his bed felt empty now that you'd gone, just like his heart. Eventually he found himself drifting back off to sleep while his pleas to not see you in his dreams faded into a deep slumber with him.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
The staff room felt empty. It wasn't really, but it felt it without Zanka there to make everything a little lighter, more funnier. You didnt think you'd say it but you found yourself missing his sarcastic humor.
I mean- there was Enjin sat on the couch opposite you, smoking a cigarette. You felt like engaging with him and lighting one yourself, however, everyone knows how annoying Enjin can get when he felt like being annoying, and he simply looked bored enough to take the piss out of you a little.
So you decide against it today purely because you were too tired to deal with his cockiness right after a debilitating trash monster run that completely ran you bone dry. You sighed and turned to look at the other occupants in the room.
There was also Rudo eating a bunch of sweets in the corner, you also didn't feel like bothering him. He was quite dull considering he lacked more social skills than Zanka did, and you still didn't really know him all that well despite all your best efforts to get him to warm up to you.
The last people you could spot we're Tomme and Gris, likely scanning over and proof reading Tomme's notes. She was an avid note-taker, even in the midst of battle. You found it admirable that she dedicated most of her time to documenting almost everything she could to help the cleaners.
Both Tomme and Gris looked considerably occupied so you opted not the bother them either. Shit, this is boring.
Enjin cleared his throat and looked up at you, finally deciding to break the silence between you two and taking little notice of the other people in the room.
"You're quiet, something on ya mind?" He questioned before taking a drawn out drag of his cigarette. You shook your head in response but both of you knew you we're bare-faced lying.
"I hope y'don't take me for a dumbass." He sighs while putting out his cigarette in the ashtray infront of him. You watch him do so and say nothing.
"Ya really don't wanna talk? So be it then, but I'll be talkin' at'cha." Enjin grumbles and faces you with his beady yellow eyes. It made your skin crawl with how well he was able to read you.
He studied your face for a minute, trying to bare witness to any crack in your expression- yet you refused to give in. If there was one thing Enjin could say to describe you it would be stubborn.
"Where's ya buddy?" He questioned you, it was a simply put question yet it made you tense all the same. Your face felt heavy and so did your chest, as if someone was pushing down on your abdomen to release all of the air and leave you breathless. You averted your gaze toward the dark mahogany coffee table that sat as a border between the both of you.
Enjin rolled his eyes and gave a slanted smirk. "C'mon, you two are always together ain't'cha?"
You finally gave in.
"I dunno, last I saw him he was in his room. Haven't seen him since." You shrugged at the last part of your sentence matter of factly, like it was common knowledge that Zanka was a bedrotter, but you both knew better.
Enjin frowned and offered you a cigarette in-which you gracefully took. He flicked on his lighter with a heavy roll of his thumb and lit your cigarette, You considered yourself a social smoker, Only occasionally lighting a cigarette for yourself at parties or large functions.
"So you two have been apart all day? Sheesh, wonder how Zanka's feelin' right now with his whole lost puppy act." Enjin was trying to make a point about how you two we're always together, regardless of the circumstances. You two always found quiet moments to share together, and Zanka did follow you around like a lost puppy.
"I'm sure he's fine, stop exaggeratin' it Enjin" You sighed while taking a drag of your cigarette, and leaned over the table to Enjin to offer him a drag which he gratefully took.
Speaking of Zanka, he had just walked in looking extremely groggy like he didn't get any sleep last night or this morning (even though he had a very extended lie in).
He watched you leaning over the table to exchange cigarette's with Enjin and the way he nonchalantly accepted the gesture. Zanka felt.. jealous? It looked intimate. It felt intimate. He felt his heart sink even lower than it had this morning. He was jealous that some guy could easily have what you have with Zanka and it could mean more, He was jealous that Enjin was sharing indirect kisses with you and he wasn't, he wasn't even mad at Enjin. He could never be truly mad at Enjin.
He was mad at himself. Mad that he couldn't just get the balls to ask you out this morning, the day before, the day before that.
All those nights exchanging oxygen under the same sheets, cuddling into the next morning with your limbs intwinned. All those days you'd eat together and flirt over (or under) the table where you'd exchange longing glances and you'd grace his ankle with the soft touches of your shoe. All those moments in battle where you'd have eachothers back and work flawlessly together, nothing mattered as long as you did it together.
His brows furrowed and he was hoping you two hadn't noticed so he could slip away again, however Enjin noticed and waved him over.
"Speak of the devil. C'mon over!" Enjin grinned at Zanka, Who just deadpan stared in return before walking towards you both while rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Sup? You look like you just crawled outta the grave." Enjin sneers, glancing up from his glass of water he had been sloshing around previously. Zanka scoffed in response and hunched over drowsily.
"He's right, you get any more sleep? You look kinda lethargic" You hummed. It felt like nothing had happened between you that night, like you completely tossed it to the back of your mind and chose to pretend nothing happened- or so Zanka felt. He glanced at you and shrugged before wiping a hand over his face.
"I better go, need a shower and all that." Then without a second thought he got up and trailed out of the room. You and Enjin exchanged confused glances before he perked up. "You should go check on him, since he's your midnight lover and all." You grimaced. Seriously Enjin?
"How'd you even-" You began before abruptly halting when Enjin pointed to a spot on his neck while staring at your own. You threw your hands up to your neck and clapped them over your skin, that was enough to startle Rudo, Tomme and Gris and they all turned to stare at you for a split second. You could've shrank into your hoodie then and there.
"Whatever. I'll catch you later, Enjin." You groaned, putting out the cigarette and quickly taking your leave. Enjin waved you out and turned back to his water.
"Those two are so stupid."
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
It wasn't like you had forgotten per-say, but you didn't want to think the stuff between you and Zanka was anything more than just friends experimenting because they have nothing better to do, even though it felt like so much more to you.
The way he'd hold you and look at you like you were the only person in the world. You couldn't help but feel selfish for wanting to keep it all to yourself for as long as possible.
You approached his room eventually and let yourself in as per usual, because you two were just close.. friends like that.
Propping yourself up on his bed again you found yourself hearing him hum from the bathroom. Cute. He unlocked the door to the bathroom and plodded into his room while still humming to himself.
The bathroom was visibly full of steam because you yourself knew how much Zanka enjoyed hot showers and hot baths when he could, he called it "refreshing and a nice way to chillax".
He looked up at his bed to see you laying in it again. He paused and his face turned bright red. He was still in his towel.
"Shit- Do you know how to knock?!?" He exclaimed and scrambled to grab his uniform and then scrambled into the bathroom to pull himself into them.
"'Course I do, just thought we were beyond that level Nijiku" You grinned in response and stuck your tongue out at him as he emerged from the bathroom again. He rolled his eyes and plopped himself down on the edge of his bed.
"You seem grumpy today, thought I'd come check to see what's up."
"Nothin's up." He murmured under his breath and frowned. You could see his eyebrows furrowing and you loved the way his nose scrunched when he frowned, however you couldn't help but simmer in the feeling that it was your fault.
"Don't lie to me Zanka, I can read you like a book." This emitted a sigh from Zanka as you poked his side with your foot. You knew he'd fess up eventually, you just had to go the right way about it.
He sighed loudly and fidgeted with his fingers before finally opening his mouth to speak.
"It's just- shit. What are we? Friends? Dating? Or just making out whenever we see fit. Ya treat me like a lover but then ya treat me like i'm just a nobody to ya." His voice sounds shaken as he frowns and runs a hand through his hair, before turning to you. His shoulders were trembling with the weight of the words he was trying to communicate. "I just can't do this anymore."
"What?? Why??" Your heart is beating at such a fast pace and your vision feels blurry- are you crying?
"Because, Y/N, I love ya. Shit. I love ya so much that imagining ya doing all the shit we do with some other guy makes my stomach curl in the worst way. Why can't you just-"
"I love you too. I'm sick of pretending I don't when my thoughts are just possessed with visions of you."
And you were telling the truth, you used to think that if you buried the feeling deep enough into a cavity right at the back of your brain and locked them away tight you wouldn't have to face them, yet every time you saw Zanka all you could think of was how badly you wanted to call him yours.
The world felt so much smaller then, like it was pushing down on you and you couldn't reach out to Zanka for help because what if he didn't feel the same? What if every gesture, every touch that meant so much to you meant nothing to him?
"I wanted so badly to call you mine but I felt trapped in my own head and I kept beating myself up thinking "what if he doesn't feel the same?" yet here y'are. I feel so stupid for not saying anything sooner Zanka, seriously. It's only you, It's only ever been you."
Zanka froze at your sudden confession. You, THE Y/N thought a mediocre loser like him would be the best option for a romantic partner? He must've been dreaming.
"I wanna try- with you I mean. No more pretendin' we don't love eachother." He reaches up to clasp your face in his palm. "I wanna be yours. Only yours for as long as-"
He's cut off when you lean in to kiss him. He's startled yet he doesn't pull away, infact he runs his free hand up the back of your neck and into your hair as if hes trying to lock you into place, scared he'll lose you.
You shudder at the touch and push against him to feel more friction between the two of you, hoping that the kiss between you will say much more than your words ever could.
The air felt heavy with thoughts, words, scenarios yet to happen, obstacles and hurdles yet to jump over, yet it suddenly all felt possible with Zanka by your side. There was no weight pushing you down anymore. You felt stupid for not coming to terms with your feelings sooner instead of supressing them.
You both pull out of the kiss, short of breath. Zanka's breathing pattern was unsteady, almost as if he wanted to just cry then and there. You swiftly pull him into a hug and run your fingers through his hair.
It's hard to believe you were so pessimistic about how Zanka felt for you, because here he is bundled in your arms like a lovesick puppy. How stupid you truly were for thinking that Zanka, the man who couldn't keep himself away from you, the man who brought you up in a conversation to every new person he met, the man that always managed to find himself in your arms at night, didn't love you too?
The love he felt was laced into his words, tied with a beautiful silk ribbon. The love suffocated in the gestures and actions he saved for you and only you. How were you foolish enough to believe the opposite?
"So, Zanka, does that mean we're..?"
"Dating? Yeah."
He finished your sentence with ease, like he knew exactly what you were thinking before the words even left your mouth. He grinned up at you childishly and cuddled himself into your lap.
You can finally call him yours, the man you craved oh so badly. Finally dispatching the guilt that crawled in your stomach each time you kissed him. And you can hold him now without grieving the life you could have had with him, because now you have it.
Y/N and Zanka, Zanka and Y/N, written in the very core of your souls and across the stars you would spend time watching on the roof together. Star-crossed lovers.
And now Enjin could stop nagging at you to profess your love. You'd kick his ass with the information that Zanka is your boyfriend now.
You smiled triumphantly to yourself and curled into Zanka's touch.
Forever intertwined, No more situationship baby!!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Authors note: HSKFNEJFH i took a few days drafting this and when i'd finally finished it almost half my writing got deleted when i saved it as a draft so that was kinda annoying "/ BUT HERE HERE IT ISSS HERE YOU GO i hope you enjoy it! please like and reblog if u can! B)
