#12192021

[nichroous]

510

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[theicyfresh]

When I started out I had as much canvas as I could handle, paint supplied by lovers lips or lengthy poems to be doodled in between thick strokes of the favorite colors that rise through your heart as you think of their touch. Just recently I've felt like Gogh, new works of art, masterpieces from present partners and incredible intelligent lovers, painted on canvas just recently swathed in white and barely dry covering up what came before. To touch the layers even risks showing those beautiful words from before, those memories that lay just under the surface. I imagine I've become more romantic since the mental image of my own intrusive thoughts have gone from landmines to wet paint. I feel i've found my canvas, I will paint upon it so many unique twists and a helix with a perfect curve that is rivaled only by the imprints of my fingers pulling you closer. I will write words enough to thoroughly confuse those frozen of heart. Try to capture even a moment of my thoughts that I may enjoy decades down the line and think to myself that I was in love then. That I am in love now. The art is beautiful because It comes with such storied canvas, because even in the quiet sections, in the spaces between detail and intricacy and shared first moments are more memories. An endless fractal of color and life and love building on itself until I die and what an artwork it will be. Lord, what art these mortals be. It hurts, sometimes. Most times, even. Sometimes I can't help but peel back the layers. Though kinder than the times opening my thin skin the effects last far longer. Memories exposed, free to breathe air no matter how I try to paint over them. Lovers, lost, a series of words that I may take to my grave though I'll tell anyone who asks it's because nobody would. These layers of love aren't fading, a monument to the depth I can feel and a terrifying warning against continuing. You would love people to the depth of your soul knowing they will live under your skin till any modicum of inconvenience rends them forth once more as delicious and tragic as the moment you transcribed their hue. Of course I would. Have you seen people? Truly, seen them. I will spend my days for diamonds in the rough and I will spend the nights showing each and every one of them the sheer value they have in their existence. I wanted to write this to echo the pain I've been feeling with memories, I ended up doing about the opposite, talking about love and the effects of loving like this. These are equal parts of love, and I have demanded that the pain will always be lesser. I just didn't imagine it would barely hold a stanza. Even when it hurts this much, it simply is the shadows cast by the rest of me. -Reused Canvas. 12/19/2021

[dubstepcarcommercial]

hanging out with Taylor Swift in Hollywood rn

[whitewolfofbrooklyn]

started my tumblr when i was starting middle school. graduating college soon. reaching the end of days and this tumblr will see it all

[sourcesos]

5SOS: Lost in the SOS

[rozie-rose]

I don't know what situations or problems I'll encounter. I'll be lying if I said that I am not afraid.

But I know all of these things will make me stronger and will teach me lessons I never knew I needed.

For myself, who is continuously struggling and don't even know what the future will be like, all I can say "Keep going, continue to live believing that God has a purpose to your life. Keep going and see what you'll become on the future. You can take a rest. You can quit and resign to your job. Keep praying to God that He'll guide you to the path He has already chosen for you."

It's hard to continue this life. I really don't have any motivation. And I just want to take a rest forever.

😥😥😥