#152 lyrics

[strxnged]

-> IWAIZUMI x GN!READER

Warnings/content: mild swearing, iwa gets soft WC: ~500

I see myself in you, the same shape of blue

But I'm not as strong

Yeah, I see the pain you carry

And I wanna be there for you, oh

-✧-

“It’s just — I don’t get it, Iwa. Why do you care so much whether I got enough sleep or drank enough water?” You clutched the water bottle Iwaizumi had handed you, staring at it. “What’s the point?”

Did you really just ask him that?

Did you really not understand — that he couldn’t help but worry? That if you were sick he’d blame himself? He had to make sure you were taking care of yourself. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you. Well — he trusted you to always go after what you wanted. But you sometimes forgot the things that would keep you going; he couldn’t just sit around and watch you struggle when he could do something.

How could he explain? You had asked him what the point was. The point of what? The point of taking care, or the point of him making sure you were taking care? Were you angry? Or were you feeling insecure?

You confused him a lot somemtimes.

“I have to,” he replied. “Otherwise you won’t.”

You shrugged. “I might.” You drank a little water, and met his eyes. “It just feels like you don’t trust me to deal with my own problems.”

Iwaizumi pressed his lips together, looking away. Did he know why he was tearing up? No. Was he going to let you see? Definitely not. You were already questioning his tendency to overthink and worry, and seeing him like this wasn’t going to help his case. “Whatever.”

“I appreciate it, babe, but it gets… tiring. And I already…” You trailed off, your mind obviously recounting all the problems you were going through right now. You sniffled, playing with the lid of the water bottle.

See, this was exactly why he worried. You took on so much that you forgot to take your own physical and mental health into account. You were such a dumbass.

Iwaizumi, without allowing you to see into his eyes, hooked his hand around your shoulder and pulled you into a hug. “You’re doing so much, Y/N,” he said into your hair. His soft voice gave you goosebumps. “You have to take care of yourself.” You noticed his tone, which sounded a little more overcome with emotions than usual.

“Iwa…”

“You have to promise me that you’ll take care of yourself. ‘Cause you’re so strong. You just put yourself through so much, ‘nd…”

“Why does it matter?” you asked.

He finally faced you directly, and you could see his glistening but earnest eyes. “‘Cause I need you, dumbass.” He took your face in his hand, thumb brushing over your lips in one motion, before he tilted your chin up and kissed you. For a moment you couldn’t think.

You started to smile against him. “'Kay, I promise. That was so cheesy.”

“Oh, shut up,” he said, and kissed you again. “I love you.”

AN: PLS IT'S SO FLUFFY AND Y'ALL DESERVED IT BC OW THIS WEEK HAS SM ANGST

[strxnged]

LET’S NOT FALL IN LOVE

-> USHIJIMA x GN!READER

Contents: angst. words: ~400. i’m really proud of my characterization, because i usually get ushijima wrong. i just feel like i got the vibes down for once :P

Don’t expect too much from me

I don’t wanna lose you either

Before things get too deep, before you get hurt

Don’t trust me

He had wanted to explain that he was too busy. That he had priorities, and you couldn’t be one of them. He wished he could show you that he just wanted to keep you from getting hurt. He cared about you as much as he was letting himself. But he had things to focus on — things that he knew he could succeed at, as long as he continued to work hard. And you were not one of them.

He couldn’t explain all this. He had to stick to being direct — “I’m sorry, but we can’t become closer at the present.”

Your eyes widened. “So you don’t—”

He knew what you were going to ask. Yes, he cared about you. But— “That is not important.”

“But volleyball is?”

He nodded, maintaining steady eye contact with you.

“Wow, Toshi. Really, wow.”

He nodded again. “I apologize.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “You really don’t know when to take a break, do you? Can’t you ever stop pushing yourself, just for a bit?”

He didn’t really understand what you were saying. “I’m working towards my goal,” he said, “and a romantic relationship would impair my ability.”

“Don’t you want to live with someone by your side? Don’t you want me to support you?”

“You already support me. And besides, I have a whole team by my side on the court.”

“That’s not what I mean, Toshi…”

“We cannot become closer than we already are. If anything… I think we should maybe detach a little more. You seem to hold onto me a little too tight.”

“What? No, Toshi, you can’t—”

“It’s for the best interest of both of us. I need to focus, and you will get hurt if you keep trying to get closer to me.”

“I can’t just…”

“Stop caring for me,” he said bluntly.

Your mouth silently fell open.

“It shouldn’t be too difficult,” he said, lifting his bag. “I should continue to practice now, so if you’ll—”

“Wakatoshi, you can’t say something like that to me,” you said after him, hoping he would stop again to listen. “You have no idea how impossible it would be for me to stop loving you.”

Ushijima didn’t stop. Of course he didn’t know, but he had no intention of learning. He didn’t want to know.

He was scared that if he spent one more second with you, he’d throw it all away to stay with you. And that would be an awful decision.

Wouldn’t it?

AN: Thank you anon for the request! This song is fantastic, it has now been placed in three of my playlists \(￣︶￣*\))

[strxnged]

LOVE LIKE YOU

-> USHIJIMA x READER

WC: ~500 

Contents: angst to fluff. sad ushijima but happy ushijima + reader stuff j3KL

AN: this song is actually so sweet and fits toshi so well tysm :( and this is not at all linked to my tendou angst in any way shape or form /s

Even though I can't compare

And I'm sorry if I stir

I just want to do everything

Maybe I could learn how to love

Ushijima had never expected someone like you to even notice him. He had had little luck in friends, minus his association with Tendou Satori. When that ended all of a sudden, he didn't have anyone to lean on but you. And yet, somehow, you seemed more than willing to be by his side.

Ushijima had never been good at reading social cues. He knew that he’d always been different in some way. But he thought Tendou had been different, too. Tendou said things as they were. Tendou wasn't afraid of acting like himself. Tendou was good at volleyball and could be depended on as a teammate.

It didn't make any sense that Tendou would just… stop talking to him. Ushijima assumed it had been because of something he had unknowingly done. He was worried, but he had no intention of bothering his ex-friend. It was none of his business.

Despite all the things he had told himself, there was still an empty ache when he thought about it. He found that he couldn't control how he felt about this. It was a nuisance — a painful one. It was similar to how he felt when he thought about his mother, but… stronger. More invasive.

You were one of the only things that could more or less fill the space. You had saved him just a few days after Tendou began to avoid him. You told him you loved him — it had been so out of the blue, but he definitely hadn't been unhappy about it. He told you he wasn't sure how to respond, because he had never considered he would ever have the opportunity to have someone like you in his life. But the more he thought about it — the more time you spent assuring him you would wait, and that you wouldn't stop being there for him — the more he realized he wanted to have someone to rely on.

Compared to the pain he felt, compared to the way Tendou had treated him, you were so selfless. You were kind, and you always told him he was more beautiful than he knew. You told him he deserved the world. He couldn’t think back to when he had been without you; memories without you seemed dead to him.

Today, when he looked at you, smiling next to him without an ounce of hesitation in your eyes, he felt a strong pull towards you. He didn't know where this came from. It was new to him. He quickly looked away, hoping the strange urge would leave.

“Wakatoshi?”

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

He gazed at you again. He wanted to hold you and never let go. He wanted you to stand next to him forever. He wanted to protect you, he wanted to love you the way you loved him.

He reached for your hand. It was smaller than his, but your fingers fit perfectly together.

“I'm okay,” he said. “I think I'm probably in love with you.”

The subsequent look on your face was enough for him to momentarily forget the ache in his heart.

AN: j the timing of this request 😀 like i had no choice but to release it today bro (THANK YOU TO @serenitycushing​ FOR SENDING ME THE REQUEST)

SEND ME A REQUEST (read my rules first!)

[strxnged]

RUNAWAY

-> TSUKISHIMA x READER

WC: exactly 420 😎

Warnings: .none but like arguing with tsukki so idk. angst. ig.

And I was runnin' far away

Would I run off the world someday?

But now take me home

Take me home where I belong

His tongue still burned from the remark. It had cut through you as well; he could see its impact in your eyes. Still, as always, you opened your mouth only to fling back an even harsher comment.

Finally, finally, something inside him broke. He had been expecting this. He had been continuing to detest you outwardly, but the piece inside that was in love with you snapped like graphite from a mechanical pencil. His hands began to shake — you had never shown weakness the way he was now. He had to hide before you noticed. He had to make sure you never knew the impact you had on him. If you knew how much he really cared, how much he took every word you fired at him to heart, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

Tsukishima didn’t run away from his problems.

But he did turn on his heel, the grinding crack of gravel beneath his feet, and stride until he was out of your sight. He knew you wouldn’t follow him. Because you didn’t love him like he loved you.

The days when the two of you weren’t enemies — the days when you were too tired to put any effort into hating him, or the days you were otherwise focused — those were the days he loved you the most. Because he got to see your sleepy side, your methodical side, and sometimes your unorderly, authentic side. But he also loved your fiery edge — he didn’t love the hate, it didn’t look good on you, but when you were angry, your eyes were flames and passion reigned. He loved your sarcastic side — he didn’t like losing to you, but he was conservatively mad about your sharp and clever tongue.

You thought the same as him. Almost.

The difference between you, was that you were his home, but he wasn’t yours.

Every time the two of you were caught in a meaningless conflict, he was reminded how much he hated hating you. He felt like it would be wrong now to admit that you were the one person he felt comfortable around after saying all the things he had. But he wanted to go back to you. He always wanted to go back to you and apologize.

He was tired of hating you.

AN: honestly it was really difficult for me to come up with something for the song, but i appreciated the challenge a ton. i couldn’t think of anything... and then my brain was like - “unresolved enemies to lovers with tsukishima kei”

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[strxnged]

THAT’S OKAY

With: Kageyama x gn!Reader

WC: ~500

Flavour: hurt/comfort

The troubles you couldn’t talk about

The spots with deep scars

The time passing at the same pace

Like always, I'll wash them away

So it's okay to live like flowing water

It's okay to just be okay

Kageyama could feel that something was off. You were lacking — barely hanging on. He saw how delicate you were these days, the mask you had begun to wear was on the brink of shattering. You were still present enough to hold up a smile, but he could sense the weight on your shoulders when you spoke to each other.

He didn’t want to push you to say anything. You were fragile enough. He didn’t want you to feel like this alone, but he didn’t want you to feel like you were failing to hide your emotions, either.

So when you finally said, “Tobio… I really haven’t been… doing that great…” he was surprised. As much as he had hoped for it, he hadn’t really expected you to feel comfortable talking to him.

He reached for your hand. “I’m here,” he said. Despite his eyes naturally having a sharp appearance, you could tell he was being sincere. “Always.”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice cracking.

And then it all came spilling out. Your misgivings, your insecurity, your loss of motivation. You were so frustrated with what your life was, and he finally understood why you were in so much pain. Your past had come back to you at just the wrong time, and everyday instances were becoming reminders of things you had failed at and of things that had hurt you. You felt like you were alone —

But you weren’t alone. You had him. How could he convince you that you had him?

When you had finished, when all your swirling thoughts had been expressed, when your cheeks had become wet with tears, he pulled you into his arms. He pressed you into him, hopefully close enough that you would forget what being alone felt like. He could feel a tear escape his own blue eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

You had tensed when he first touched you, but you melted into the embrace. You still felt empty and… exhausted. He held you tighter still in his warmth, and slowly, you could feel a bit of the ice inside crack.

Or had it been your heart?

It was like heartbreak. It was like everything you knew was changing. But it was good. It was safe. Because you had felt alone, but now something in your mind had switched.

At that exact moment, Kageyama half-whispered, “You’re not going to go through this alone. I won’t let you.”

You clenched the fabric of his shirt. His chest was warm, comfortable. It was the perfect place to hide your face.

“I love you,” he said. “Please, just come to me.”

You inhaled his scent. It was home.

“Thank you, Tobio.”

He kissed the top of your head. "Always."

AN: i love this song so much. it’s definitely one of my comfort songs. it feels like a hug (if i didn’t already convey my interpretation well enough JKASDKJ)

Thank you so much for the request, @likethebegin (sorry I could tag you for some reason)! 

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[strxnged]

WHY WHY WHY

WC: ~500

WARNINGS: cheating!! but not really

Flavour: ANGST!!!!!KLK@J!KL

AN: I heard the song ... this happened... So basically, what I was thinking was the song was Daichi’s feelings, and the drabble you’re about to see was your (the reader’s) feelings.

There is a PART 2

Eventually ending up in this position, coming to this

I'm the one who messed it up

Couldn't even protect a flower like you

All the flashing sparks in our relationship

Have turned into white ashes

You hadn't even suspected anything until you saw the look in that police officer’s eyes. She was the same as you; utterly, entirely in love with Daichi Sawamura.

You trusted him not to do anything. You knew it was never his intention to make you feel jealous or uncomfortable. He didn’t have control over the actions of his co-workers. He could politely tell her she was making him uncomfortable, but she wasn’t exactly doing anything overly invasive.

This was when hiding your relationship got especially hard. He could tell her that he was seeing someone, but she was quite the gossip, and everyone would eventually be on his case about who the lucky person was. And if the two of you were discovered, both of you could lose your jobs.

When you two had decided on this, you hadn’t expected seeing Daichi every day at work without being able to show your affection would be so difficult. But you got used to it. He was a fantastic officer, so seeing him at least doing what he was passionate about was enough for you until the evening. It had to be enough; for the time being, you had no other choice.

Every day, he assured you it was so difficult to stay away from you all day. He’d always smile, and say, “I love you, you know that, right?”

Yes. You knew it. And you knew if you were in his position you would be very stressed and the added situation with the female police officer was not helping.

You saw from your desk the way she spoke to him. He shook his head at her, but she seemed to be pleading for something. A minute later, he reluctantly followed her into the hall.

This didn’t look too good.

Why couldn’t they do whatever she wanted them to do here, within your sight? Why’d they have to go into the hall? This was work — a professional setting — why was she acting like this? She could get both him and herself fired. Didn’t that matter to her?

You trusted Daichi. You kept telling yourself that, but you still took a very specific route to the photocopiers at that moment. You could just see her face around the corner.

Of course she was sweet and smiley and pretty and buxom. Why did she have to choose Daichi to bother? There were plenty of men here that would happily fall at her feet. You knew Daichi was handsome and strong and a good leader and really adorable and trustworthy.

But he was also yours.

You thought he was yours. He had told you he was yours.

So when she advanced on him, even though you knew he would push her away, you couldn’t look. Your hands shook. You didn’t want to see Daichi kissed by another woman. It was like a horror scene.

You could go back to your desk. That would be the mature thing to do, probably. He would probably come over, make sure he wasn’t about to be interrupted, and apologize profusely.

But you weren’t thinking about that now. You had to get out of here.

AN: i’m sorry this isn’t even what you requested @h-grangerstudies​ it just happened while i was listening to the song OTL

PART 2

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[strxnged]

BUBBLY

-> MATSUKAWA x GN!READER

Content: AHHHH fluff (~400 words) + no warnings I JUST LKJDSFLISKKJLS

But what am I gonna say

When you make me feel this way?

I just, hmm

Matsukawa Issei made you feel a sort of way that no one else could.

It could have been just because of how incredibly handsome he was. Maybe it was how easy it was to be in his presence, how well he could make you feel comfortable with him. Maybe it was how honest he was.

The sidelong glances, his eyelids lifting enough to get a good look at you and a little smile of understanding showing, which you’d mirror despite your mood.

When he’d stay up with you while you worked, because he argued that his sleep schedule was malleable and he didn’t like seeing you up alone.

The way he’d always make sure you knew you were loved.

Matsukawa made you feel some type of way that ‘love’ didn’t quite describe. It was something softer. Fluffier. Lighter. You were giddy with him. When his arms were around you, it always made you know that things would be okay.

Maybe it was just the way he’d stop to admire you, and smirk and pat your head a little, and then tilt your chin up teasingly, and then kiss your nose, leaving your lips wanting.

It made your fists clench sometimes, just when you looked at him. He was surreal, sometimes. He might sort of be an idiot, he might not always have the energy to match yours. But he was dependable and funny and more than you could ever ask for.

What could you call it? Was love enough to describe the giddiness he gave you?

Love had been thrown at you in ways where it meant the opposite. The words “I love you” had lost meaning.

Except for when he said it. Somehow, when Mastukawa said it, you could feel how much he meant it. And he could tell you understood, from the way your eyes would widen and your mouth would quiver and your hands would shake and you’d finally give him the largest, most genuine smile he could imagine when you said it back.

You couldn’t name your feelings beyond it, but it was deeper than those three words, and you both knew it.

AN: YALL IT’S A BREAKTHROUGH I AM SUDDENLY A SIMP FOR MATSUKAWA LIKE. A LOT A LOTTT (DNDDNNDN THANK YOU WIFE FOR THE REQUEST>TRG<DF MATSUKAWA

[strxnged]

NUMB

-> KAGEYAMA x actor!gn!READER

WC: 1.2k

Contents: Angst-to-fluff (ish). Mentions of death + funeral. Aged up characters-

AN: Oh, wow. Thank you for the request. I liked the idea, maybe, a little bit, and might have written a little tiny thing. or smth. did not go insane picturing this in my head. (lowkey thinking abt a part two but only if ppl like this hehe)

I feel numb most of the time

Lower I get the higher

I'll climb, and I will wonder why

I got dark only to shine

Six months.

It took you six months to recover from the breakup with Kageyama Tobio.

It took you six months to be able to imagine a future without him.

Six months, and you were essentially over him.

You had to break up. You knew that, from the beginning. He agreed. You wanted to go to acting school, he wanted to continue with volleyball. It was the typical end to an unrealistic high school relationship. As much as you loved Kageyama, if you tried to stay with him you’d both be stuck. You had to end it there, to move on and grow apart.

Life was different without him. It was fresh, but more frightening. Suddenly, you had to make your own decisions independent from his input. You were alone at the school you had chosen, and you had to relearn how to make friends, since you had spent so much time with just Kageyama, and of course some of his teammates at the time. It was a struggle at first, as it would be. It was lonely.

But as you got more focused on school, as you remembered how passionate you were about it, things got easier. Making friends was easier. You still didn’t have a clear vision for your future, but as the weeks turned into semesters which turned into years, you grew more in your passion for the dramatic arts.

You could turn your pain and confusion into something beautiful.

Your darkest point was when you graduated, and went off to find a job. You had expected it to be difficult, of course, but this… this was impossible. You were suddenly immersed with hundreds of other people that thought they had worked just as hard and deserved the roles as much as you did. Nothing had been as unfair as this, because this was the reaping of all the hard work you had done. You had forgotten about your ex-boyfriend from high school by now. You knew that pain had been nothing.

But it hadn’t been for nothing — a few adventures, and a swirl of very sudden events later, you were in a movie. A small movie. But a movie.

And the next year, two bigger movies.

Then, a TV series.

You had found a stable job — one doing exactly what you loved, every day. You weren’t haunted by the fear that you’d be stuck at a fast food restaurant the rest of your life. You had been where you had wanted to be. On set. In front of that camera. Becoming someone else entirely. The fame was… not all you had expected it to be. But it was what it was.

Of course you still lived in fear that you weren’t good enough. You were afraid that the you on the screen wasn’t all you had tried to make it. You worried that your acting wasn’t captivating enough. But you worked to improve. You sought success.

You were where you had aimed to be. You were in the spotlight — or as far into the spotlight as was possible.

You had thought that this would all bring you happiness.

But you were still always looking ahead. You had been told to enjoy your youth — but it was passing. You’d be thirty this year, and that would be your peak.

You thought you would be happy, but you were never satisfied. No matter how hard you worked, there was always a little more you could do. Always something you could improve upon. Never good enough. Never happy.

Did you date anyone over the last ten years? Yes, you had. Nothing had lasted, but the relationships had happened. Until the inevitable split-ups. Did you still think about Kageyama Tobio? You didn’t — you told yourself that you didn’t — but you still watched as many of his games you could. You didn’t ever want to actually reconnect with him. He had gone to chase his dreams, just like you had, and he seemed happy from the little you knew of him. He had changed, grown up.

He’d grown more handsome, but that wasn’t important. You knew from many firsthand experiences that a person’s exterior did not always represent their inner being.

Kageyama was a good person. A narcissist, but not hopelessly. He could love. He had loved.

But you two were so different now. You had been different before, of course, but now… all this time between you. People between you. Work between you.

But somehow, you weren’t meant to stay disconnected.

A ‘celebration of life’ was being held for a late co-actor. He had portrayed your character’s father two years ago, but had unfortunately passed away recently. Even though you were basically expected to attend, you wanted to. He had been a good man; selfless and talented at his job.

You knew he had had a background in sports — volleyball, specifically — but you never thought about how deep connection was. You definitely hadn’t expected to find yourself standing next to Kageyama Tobio during the service.

It had taken you the first half of the event to even realize who it was, and the next half to remember how to breathe again.

Thousands of familiar feelings were somehow back. It had been — thirteen years? And you still—

You made eye contact for a moment.

And that’s it. I’m dead.

It wasn’t that you hadn’t loved anyone as much as you had loved Kageyama. You had really loved people after him. Probably more.

But… you wanted him still. You knew that once you found out he was seeing someone, which was inevitable, your heart would break.

A short conversation with him revealed that he was, in fact, still single, and still playing volleyball. In the same city your show was being filmed in.

In the same city.

Should you tell him?

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, I’ve actually been living there for the last two years. It’s where our main sets are… sometimes we travel, but not very often.”

His eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m surprised that I didn’t know until now that we were in the same city,” you said with a smile, even though you knew exactly why you didn’t know. You had been avoiding that kind of information.

His eyes were so blue.

“What’s your work schedule?” he asked. “Do you have much free time?”

You nodded. “It’s usually pretty simple. Sometimes I spend hours on set, though. Some scenes just don’t work. But yeah, we…” You trailed off. You couldn’t help but admire him. He was very handsome.

Why had he been asking about your work schedule?

“We should… get coffee again. Or… it’s tea that you like, isn’t it?”

Was he asking you out? At a funeral?

Kageyama?

“I actually like coffee now,” you said. He had remembered that you used to hate coffee? That had slipped even your mind. “I discovered how addicting caffeine was.”

He almost smiled at you. At the sight of the beginnings of a smile, you could only imagine how breathtaking a full smile would fit him. You just knew he had finally grown into his smile. “I see. Makes sense.”

For a moment, you both paused. The sound of the gentle chatter of the crowd filled the space.

Then, “So? Do you want to get coffee with me at some point?”

Okay. Sure.

“Sounds nice,” you said.

He smiled.

AN: JDSKLJKLFKLSDJFSKLD I AM GOING FERALLLLLL Y’ALL TIMESKIP KAGEYAMA IS A DIFFERENT L E V E L DNDNNDNDN thank you for the request and the song <3 really cool vibes off of the song