#20062019

[tolgagulen]

2019'dan An'lar... #2019danAnlar #20062019 #Lions #118Y #PoliPopLions #PopKorosu #Koro #Plaket #DönemPlaketi #AliRızaDeğer (Lions Club Erenkoy Istanbul - Istanbul Erenkoy Lions Kulubü) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6wKC8sH4uM/?igshid=1sb3kiilg35o7

[winwinlottery-blog]

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[failedimitator]

Every now and then, I find myself in these really silly arguments with my brother. They are usually as passionate as they are silly. And I find myself spending twice the energy defending something I only half believe in.

“I don’t know why, but he just brings out that side of me,” I usually tell my friends afterwards. “And I hate that he has that power over me.”

“That’s family for you,” they usually say.

I realised today that my dad has a similar effect over me. 

For the most part, in my life, I consider myself an adult. I trust myself and am confident in things I do and say, the decisions I make. I feel their weight and take on the responsibility for their effect. 

But whenever I speak to my dad, I feel like a child. Like, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

Part of it is that my dad and I don’t know each other very well. The things he wants for me and the things I want for myself are not exactly the same. But most of all it’s because despite all that, I want to make him happy. I want him, on some level, to be proud of me.

“Dad, do you think I’m a failure?” is something I asked him not too long ago.

I had a dream a few days ago that he was disappointed with me. In the dream, I was crying and apologising. And he was not responding. But even in the dream, I knew the thing I was apologising for wasn’t that I didn’t do the thing he wanted me to do, it was that I never told him that I didn’t want to do that thing. I didn’t want to tell him no.

“The thing is, you’re very high in agreeableness,” my therapist once said.

It’s a bit like that project management triangle: Do things that are true to me; Say things that are true; Make dad happy. 

Choose two.

[yemreyi]

onların kalpleri de seninki gibi sanıyorsun herkes o kadar yumuşak o kadar şefkat dolu olmaz oysa oldukları gibi görmüyorsun insanları olabilecekleri gibi görüyorsun kendinden veriyor, veriyorsun onlar her şeyini çekip alıncaya ve için bomboş kalıncaya dek #rupikaur #süt #ve #bal #20062019 #gününşiiri #gününkahvesi #şiir #kahve #kitap #edebiyat #şiirsokakta #şiirbardakta #şiirstarbucksta #şiirheryerde 👍 (Yemreyi's Sweet Home) https://www.instagram.com/p/By8LAybFq_N/?igshid=14vaxcb5dgn0y

[annawanderer]

seem like nice hangouts place. #coffee #cakes #20062019 #Thursday #cafehop #thehubss2 #selfieareamust #selfieareas #kookycreamcafe （在 The Hub SS2） https://www.instagram.com/p/By7uIfDJaVLYtwH8rMQ9WnlR_K6yY6gZBvL_W00/?igshid=93b4q8ebark0

[ahvonn]

Sweetness overload. 😖 . . . #20062019 #June #2019 #Thursday #TigerSugar #nopearlsplease #June2019 #Jun2019 (at Northpoint City, Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/By7TPD0nKly/?igshid=3e43p9cuzbae