Luna’s Horror Stories 1: Weekdays in Suburbia.
Imagine a white-picket fence suburban neighborhood. Every marriage is hetero. Everyone is white, cis, and always smiling a big toothy smile. ALWAYS. The men wake up at 7:30 in the morning. The women wake up at 7 am and make coffee for the husband. She helps him tie his tie when, golly gee!, the newsboy makes his rounds, as does the Happy Milkman. “Father Dearest” drinks his coffee as he reads the newspaper and the kids are down in the kitchen as “Mother Dearest” is finishing cooking eggs and bacon. “Sister Dearest” is wearing a frilly pink dress, shiny She sits in the chair all prettily as her mother plaits her beautiful blonde hair into two pretty braids. “Brother Dearest” comes down in his sweater and wearing his propeller hat over his brown hair. “Doggy Dearest” always fetches the newspaper. What a good boy, he is!
After “Mother Dearest” packs their retro lunch boxes, his powerful red and hers sweet pink, the kids are off to school. The boys ride their bikes while the girls walk. Don’t get your dress or socks or shoes dirty, Susie! That’s not ladylike at all. The boys have gym class while the girls learn how to sew, cook, and clean.
“Father Dearest” works from 9 to 5 while “Mother Dearest” keeps house. The children come home at 3 o clock. “Brother Dearest” goes and plays catch with his friends while “Sister Dearest” helps “Mother Dearest” with chores.
“Brother Dearest” is back home by 5:30 to wash up for dinner. “Father Dearest” arrives at exactly 6 pm, when “Mother Dearest” has just finished setting the table. They all eat together and then at 7 pm, they all go into the den and watch mindless television.
At 8 pm, “Sister Dearest” skips up to bathe before playing with her dollies and going to bed at 8:30. “Brother Dearest” goes out with his friends until 9 o clock and he’s in bed by 9:30, as is “Mother Dearest.” “Father Dearest” is the last to go to bed. All of the family is in Dreamland by 10 pm.
