#abusers tw

[rk800isalive]

So I don’t normally do this but if anyone is awake which probably not but I just had a really fucked up night terror about my abusers finding me. And it wasn’t great can anyone send me soft animals or idk anything. I don’t care if it’s singin

[cryptkitt3n]

K Jesse Lacey lets fight.

[sunflowerseedsandtears]

I'm having flashbacks about one of my abusers, and its so horrible and I can't distract myself make it go away

[multiphantom]

My story, harsh reality version:

A year and a half ago, I was in and got out of an abusive relationship, which I thought that I would never experience it again (abuse), because I had obviously experienced enough for one lifetime. Right? Lolnopejokesonyoubuddy. So, anyway, I spoke up to the local poly community about how my ex was abusive and violent, specifically the most popular organisation and well, the committee just couldn’t have that difficult business going on and made *every effort to defend him to the death* and they also suggested *to my face(book)* that I was lying about it.  Have you looked at any statistics lately? Anyway, so I got abusive public comments from her and private messages from her ex partner.  Her ex was trying to bully me into thinking that it wasn’t that bad, minimise what happened. It was disgusting, and after all that, the majority of the committee was like “Oh, well, Kyle seems like a nice guy, he was never bad to me” -coming from men! No shit. Or “well, I never *saw* him do anything or saw it happen, so, *shrugs* sozlol” So excuse me if I am still furious with the world and how unjust it is and have a lot to say. This is only unfortunately only *one* of the worst experiences of my short and jagged life and there so much shit that so many people go through, every day for no justifiable reason. Excuse me if your shitty little “oh I’m sure they didn’t mean it”s and “you’re just over-reacting” to the *abuse* that you received lol lol lol so just forget about it, calm down, get over it and keep quiet or enjoy being left on your own with no friends because you had to leave them all behind because you couldn’t trust *any* of them and spending almost a year on your own, whilst your abuser benefited from his shitty male and abuser privilege and nothing fucking changed for him, are not accepted with a smile. I have lost so much of myself, I used to be so bubbly and optimistic and right now I’m one of the most negative people I know. P.S. by “excuse me” I mean, how fucking dare you.

[lovecraftinvancouver]

I am always surprised by the amount of support that abusers get in the pop-punk, punk, and hardcore scenes. It disgusts me so much. It makes me not want to be in the same room as those people. It makes me not want to listen to hardcore. 

[freeasthepaperburns]

So my abuser's birthday was yesterday, and long story short I am still very much expected to participate in it and plan most of it, because I'm sort of The Lord of the Birthdays and most of the time I love that kind of thing. And so if any of you live with or interact with your abusers regularly and have to deal with their birthdays, I just figured I'd share what's helped me: -pretend to be sick. You are officially in middle school again and you are faking sick to be let out of a test that you don't want to take. You won't be expected to participate with everyone (unless someone's being a dick about it) but you won't be blamed for being petty or selfish or any of the other things people call you when you don't want to interact with abusers -use it as a self care day. Try to be really good to yourself and remind yourself that celebrating this many years of that person being alive is also a celebration that you have survived that many years. Paint your nails or order in lunch or play Borderlands- do something that makes you happy -Find someone to tell about it in advance, if you can. It can be overwhelming to be surrounded by people talking about how wonderful your abuser is. When you need it, it's nice to be able to check in with someone who can say "no he was still a douche to you, you don't have to be happy about this." -small and insignificant acts of defiance can go a long way and make you feel more in control. It doesn't have to be anything big that'll cause friction and fighting- if they pull out a chair for you, sit in the one next to it. If you're offered a piece of cheese pizza, say you want the sausage. Sing a different song than happy birthday under your breath when it's cake time. Anything that reminds you that nothing can make you love or respect someone who abused you -if you're put in charge of the party and you can't get out of it, sometimes it helps me to pretend I'm acting. I treat it like a part I got cast in and sometimes I even write myself lines. I remind myself constantly that this is just a role and its not me, and my enthusiasm isn't real and doesn't have to be I hadn't seen a post on this yet, so feel free to reblog and add anything you think would be helpful too :)