Jun 5, 2015
and why am I still conscious?
seen from United States
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Jordan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from T1
seen from France
seen from T1
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from Tunisia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from T1
and why am I still conscious?
My story, harsh reality version:
A year and a half ago, I was in and got out of an abusive relationship, which I thought that I would never experience it again (abuse), because I had obviously experienced enough for one lifetime. Right? Lolnopejokesonyoubuddy. So, anyway, I spoke up to the local poly community about how my ex was abusive and violent, specifically the most popular organisation and well, the committee just couldn’t have that difficult business going on and made *every effort to defend him to the death* and they also suggested *to my face(book)* that I was lying about it. Have you looked at any statistics lately? Anyway, so I got abusive public comments from her and private messages from her ex partner. Her ex was trying to bully me into thinking that it wasn’t that bad, minimise what happened. It was disgusting, and after all that, the majority of the committee was like “Oh, well, Kyle seems like a nice guy, he was never bad to me” -coming from men! No shit. Or “well, I never *saw* him do anything or saw it happen, so, *shrugs* sozlol” So excuse me if I am still furious with the world and how unjust it is and have a lot to say. This is only unfortunately only *one* of the worst experiences of my short and jagged life and there so much shit that so many people go through, every day for no justifiable reason. Excuse me if your shitty little “oh I’m sure they didn’t mean it”s and “you’re just over-reacting” to the *abuse* that you received lol lol lol so just forget about it, calm down, get over it and keep quiet or enjoy being left on your own with no friends because you had to leave them all behind because you couldn’t trust *any* of them and spending almost a year on your own, whilst your abuser benefited from his shitty male and abuser privilege and nothing fucking changed for him, are not accepted with a smile. I have lost so much of myself, I used to be so bubbly and optimistic and right now I’m one of the most negative people I know. P.S. by “excuse me” I mean, how fucking dare you.
Oh god, its so awkward when you accidentally and obviously give someone the heart eyes
when you were trying really hard not to keep those pesky feelings on the inside.
teddywolfsong replied to your post: I had 2 days sober, this week.
Congrats! I’m very happy for u and hope u are feeling good :)) that’s a big deal!
Thanks for thee love and support! :)
x-filesgirl replied to your post: I had 2 days sober, this week.
Keep at it.
I have an event today at a pub, so knowing me I wont, today, but I’m going to stick with the not drinking every single day thing.
queerelephant replied to your post: I had 2 days sober, this week.
That’s fantastic! Great job!
Thank you ^_^ x
I had 2 days sober, this week.
That may not seem like much to most people, but for me that is a huge achievement.
I’m starting to lose the cloud of cynicism that has been hanging over me for the past year and a half.
This is huge. I think I’m becoming me again!