I honestly hate it when I see that friends who have been good to each other for a long period of time start to cease as friends. Although it is a very sad topic for me to accept, I do realize that there is a thing called life. No matter how many memories were shared, how much laughter was brought through that friendship, change is evitable. People grow up, mature, and no longer enjoy the things they used to. One person may feel like the other isn't putting in enough effort into the friendship and realizes that they shouldn't waste their efforts into something that may end anyway.
After saying all that, let me approach the thing I really want to say. You still want to be my friend after all the shit you've talked about behind my back (don't bother denying it because I know you have and so have many others), don't go saying that I need to put in the effort into trying to be friends with you. YOU want to be my friend yet you expect ME to start up a conversation with you? If you really want to continue this friendship, then you are going to be the one stepping up to the plate. Because as far as I'm concerned, it was you in the first place that had issues with me. Saying that, I honestly don't understand how you can justify still being friends with me after saying that I've made you feel like shit throughout our whole entire friendship. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty certain that our friendship lasted about 5 years, give or take. I sincerely viewed you as one of the girls who I could really trust, one that I would consider my super close friend. While I was in my little world thinking that we would be good friends forever, you were somewhere else thinking that I was being a little emotional bitch who would always throw a bitch-fit whenever my mood swings came up. Really?
I'm not saying that I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore, but after all that's been said and done, I don't think our little "friendship" is going to be the same anymore. I won't enjoy going to your house anymore because apparently your sister has a problem with my "moodswings". Supposedly, her justifications was that she didn't want to deal with me throwing a bitch fit whenever I got pissed off. Since when have I even thrown a bitchfit anyways.. In my own defense, even if I do get mad, at least I'm rational about it. I don't remember me screaming or yelling at anyone whenever I get irritated. Raise my voice, maybe. But there wasn't any yelling if I remember clearly.
Remember those texts saying that you don't want our friendship to end because you know I'm a good person and that you truly don't want to stop being my friend. But then I hear that you said that I didn't deserve to be treated nicely from a certain someone whom you presently hate and that I should be ostracized from everyone because I wasn't a good person to be around with. I'm truly sorry for making you think I was a bad person but to be honest, if you thought that, then why did you continue to put on an act and pretend to be my friend? Friends don't go off and say that the other doesn't deserve to be treated nicely. Friends don't blame friends for a malfunctioned friendship just because they think that the other isn't trying.
The whole thing about me hearing from another person about the things you've said and thought may just be another whatever about how I wasn't there and maybe that source was just twisting your words and causing rumors. Whatever. That is just whatever to me. The thing that hurt me the most, which I've stated before, was how you continued to stay friends with me when you thought I treated you like shit. To me, that was like a slap to my face. You should've stood up for yourself and at least point out the things you thought I was doing wrong to you instead of (sorry but) being a complete two-face to me. Every single time I try to explain myself, you always make me feel like a bad guy and you the defenseless victim by not even giving me a chance to give my rebuttal to you. You always have a justification for every action you do and I respected you enough to respect your excuses.
I honestly thought that the five of us were going to stay friends for a while. Go through and be each other's bridesmaids at our weddings, watch our kids play together, and even go on vacations with one another. I always saw you and your sister as my good friends. But even your sister said that she never liked me in the first place. Well wow. Dual personalities must run in the family. And by dual personalities, I really meant two-faces. I just thought saying that you two had dual-personalities would make me sound less of a bitch since you guys do have issues with me being one. I tried. I honestly did. I tried to get all of us to meet up and talk amongst one another but apparently it wasn't worth trying since no one's going to listen to what the other's going to say so there really wasn't a point.
So this is the way I saw our problems. Apparently, you and I had a conflict concerning the way I was supposedly treating HN which led to LN to defend me which led to you saying a whole bunch of stuff which led to LN to tell me those things. Since you and I were conflicting, your sister and LN were drifting apart and since LN didn't want that, she spoke to your sister but that resulted in LN and I finding out that your sister didn't even like me anyways! So that led to a falling apart of your sister with LN because she thought that LN was bonding more and more with me and not enough with her which shouldn't even really be connected because they were supposed to be BFFs. So to sum it all up, this basically happened because someone got mad at another and different people defended other different people. There was also miscommunication, but who cares right? Because I'm sure we realize that we're all adults here who are quite certain that we know everything so even directly talking to each other would be futile, pointless, and a complete waste of time.
Our journey was great while it lasted. I truly mean that.
