#addicteddict

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The doctor says it’s BPD for sure after reading my assessment and that my own suspicions were correct. I have to wait two months, maybe more, to see the psychiatrist and get a piece of paper telling me so. There’s no therapy, group or otherwise available for me because the NHS don’t see the point in funding it in the Highlands. They don’t want to give me medication because there’s no guarantee it would work. So basically I haven’t got any way to get better - of course I can’t tell anybody because here the stigma around anything that isn’t the winter blues is immense - they automatically think of BPD on a level with psychotics and schizophrenics and assume you’re a murderer or something.

So I’m feeling pretty hopeless.

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the devil

I thought for one horrible second that you were calling me the devil! Anyway.

The Devil: Who you talk to when you’re dealing with big issues

I talk with my closest friends Stine and Lane. Both of them understand me as no one else does. So I feel as if, talking to them, there is nothing I can say or do wrong. I can honestly say they are two of the only people I could truly share every part of myself with (and that sounded a lot better in my head, believe me). I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love and trust them very much. It's nice.

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Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Are you a gossip? Do you suck or bite lollipops? Are you a good liar? Would you like to be a big celebrity? Have you ever got in trouble with the law? What was your last dream about? Do you want a church wedding? Do you want children? What is your birthday? What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? What makes you angry?

I have a preference for neither, to be honest. A child is a child. As for names? I like Andrew, Chris, Alexander, Louis, Adam, Thomas, and Euan for boys. For girls, I like Andrea, Natasha, Natalie, Lara, Miranda, Rachel, Vanessa, and Evie. Unisex names, I like Sam, Kit, Jamie, Andy, Nicky, and Alex. And almost all of them go well with my last name, so that's good!

Nope, I'm not a gossip. That's one of the worst things you can be, in my book.

I only bite if the lollipop is into that. (I do both).

I am very good at it, but I don't see much point in it. Anyway, you have to make sure all the lies match up and even if there's just one loose thread... well. You're fucked. The truth is not always easier, but lying certainly doesn't help matters.

Answered already.

Uh... I don't think so? No. I have been in plenty situations where I should have been but never got caught.

Already answered.

Meh. I couldn't care less. I would be happy with a handfasting ceremony.

I do, yes, but not until I'm at least 27.

23rd January.

My floor length tailored leather coat. It was around £300. 

Tourists (cyclists especially dO NOT GET ME STARTED ON CYCLISTS), manipulative/abusive people, doing the dishes, low framerates in games, mum's printer, bad manners, acrylic paints, politics, willful ignorance, and people who don't look after books.

[fuckyeahdisneyfanart]

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so Stine described me as, and quite accurately I might add, the person that skips into a room, giggles coquettishly and then yells 'WHERE'S THE FUCKING CAKE'  in a really deep voice

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WE'VE BEEN TALKING FOR TEN HOURS. TEN HOURS. OH MY GOD, TEN HOURS.

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addicteddict YOU HAVE NO BOUNDARIES AND BALLS OF STEEL, YOU CRAZY BITCH

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stine and I just came up with a brilliant game:

1. put on a movie with our favourite actor(s) in it

2. put vibrating eggs in our panties

first one to come has to take a shot, and it goes on like that (getting high beforehand is optional)