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Once again, I had to disasterize what might've been a normal mild discussion with my spouse because he phone-shamed me while I was HANGRY.
I'm eating lunch and now I'm just sad instead of
Set the world on fire 🔥 (& myself too)
Mode...
Sigh.
Amazing how much living with ADHD is just dealing with how it turns seemingly simple tasks into these immense unconquerable monoliths. It's like I'm Saint George trying to kill that dam dragon, but instead of a dragon its doing the dishes.
Omg i think i figured it out. I never really had a problem with nightmares, i had them but i never woke up super scare, maybe a couple of timea. I had trouble falling asleep. I kept thinking abt the nightmares i had and i couldnt stop imagining things standing in dark corners of my room or coming to get me, just a bit on purpouse. My mind kept wandering, because falling asleep is so boring, as soon as i saw that black shape my curtain made or that suspicious blinking light from my electronics i wanted to imagine things about it to stimulate myself. To the point that i couldnt stop and i got too scared quickly. Weird how i didnt realise this sooner
What I should be thinking about while writing my story: plot, character development, language consistency, object permanence, scene flow
What I'm actually thinking about: what questions they might ask me when invited on a talk show to talk about said story and who the other guests might be
I have spent all this time existing and I'm just now coming to know how important breakfast is.
This whole time I've been telling myself "I'm so easily irritated in the mornings. Eyy, I'm definitely not a morning person! lol" when actually it's more like "GAAAH, everything is so irritating! Oh wow, I've been up since 7am; it's almost 2pm now and I've still not eaten anything all day~ But hoWWWW!?!?"
"If it mattered to you, you would make time."
Honey, 90% of my time, the only things I can 'make' are messes and things complicated. K?
You know what? Now I don’t even want to feel unique with ADHD. I just want to throw it away in a trashcan so I CAN READ THE WHOLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH *takes deep breathe in* WHILE UNDERSTANDING IT. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!
tw: serious ableism
My friend is driving me fucking crazy. Bro autistic isn’t an insult. It’s not a fucking insult, many (most?) autistic people genuinely love who they are. Like I’m not autistic (at least I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t think I am?) but I do have adhd and share a lot of common traits and it makes me so fucking mad when people do this. Like I actually want to strangle this guy I have no idea why he’s my friend. Fuck I’m fuming. Some of this applies to me and some of it doesn’t but either way I’m so mad. Like for the record, theres nothing fucking wrong with stimming, low empathy doesn’t make somebody heartless or “weird”, infodumping is harmless and there’s nothing wrong with it, audio processing disorders are common and debilitating and fucking listen to me when I explain mine, i want to punch this person.
The worst part is that he has adhd. Like bro you are neurodivergent. How can you shit on people like this. Anyway, I’m probably going to be reblogging autism and neurodivergent stuff for the next hour, so yeah.
Ok to rb
