#admin axel

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

kakashi meeting a girl that kinda really reminds him of the protagonist of his beloved icha icha Paradise?

Hey guys! I have given birth twice since I last wrote anything for this fandom, and I have no real excuse other than sleep deprivation is a hell of a drug. Also I got trapped in Mystic Messenger hell and my interest in Naruto waned a little bit, but Naruto is that one series that I will always return to in the end. I missed all of you, and I will be catching up on the prompts I left unanswered slowly but surely! ~Admin Axel

Kakashi with a S/O that reminds him of the Icha Icha Protagonist

He legitimately had to do a double take when he first saw you, a sneaky double take but a double take nonetheless. Hair color? Check. Eye color? Check. Face shape? Check. Body measurements that were lovingly described in the books? Check. He can’t help but wonder to himself if Jiraiya had based the protagonist off of a real person after all, and that person was you.

Even though there is an uncanny resemblance, Kakashi doesn’t initially pursue you based on your physical appearance alone. In the early days of your relationship, when the two of you were just friends who happened to make eyes at each other sometimes, there were a lot of leading questions. Had you ever met Jiraiya? Did you read Icha Icha? Had you ever been followed by suspiciously intelligent toads? Kakashi is a curious sort of person, and uncovering the mystery about the possibility that you may be the person a character in his favorite series was modeled after was a perfectly logical (in his mind) reason to talk to you. It’s conversing with you and seeing your personality shine that piqued his romantic interest.

He had to take a break from reading his trashy romance novels because he couldn’t help but picture you in every passage, which was… distracting and a little weird, particularly in the racier scenes. It wasn’t even intentional, but now that he knows someone so similar looking to everything that was described in the books, he has a hard time not envisioning you. He ended up giving himself the creeps (which is very hard to do) so he grudgingly picked up some obvious knock off novel with a heroine who was just different enough from Jiraiya’s character and you that he could read in peace. Thank whatever god was listening for Kiss Kiss Island.

After months of developing a infatuation and spending more time with you, he finally confessed why he was reading cheap knockoff novels. (“The original is obviously so much better than this trash!” you had said, and his heart leapt into his throat like he was the teenager he never allowed himself to be. Gods, you were perfect.) It has now become a running joke when he spaces out and you question him that he’s picturing that scene in his head. The one on page 137. The one with the ropes and the silk blindfold.

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

All of this is filth, but Hidan requires his own warning. 

Uchiha Madara

Madara likes talking dirty to you because he knows how much it turns you on and how responsive you become to his touch. It’s flattering, yes, but more importantly it makes him feel powerful to have you writhing and begging underneath him, and there is nothing Madara likes quite so much as having power over someone.

The urge to talk dirty to you goes hand in hand with his urges to dominate you. Maybe you’ve been a little mouthy, maybe you disagreed with him in front of someone important - those are the sort of things that accidentally flip the switch. Or maybe you did it on purpose. Either way, he’s going to corner you when he has some free times on his hands and finger you until you come all over his hand, then make you clean his hand up with your tongue.

“Are you just going to look at it? Suck it.” “You want to come? Beg me.” “Get on your hands and knees and spread your legs.” “You love what I’m doing to you, don’t you? Say it. Louder!” “Open your mouth for me. Take it all in. Good girl.”

Senju Tobirama

Tobirama doesn’t talk dirty very often, even though he knows how much you like it. It’s not that he’s against it, it’s just that he doesn’t even think about it when the clothes start coming off. He’s more focused on touching you and tasting you than talking.

It’s an all day process to get him to talk dirty to you. Visit him in the office wearing a short skirt and “accidentally” give him a glimpse of your panties while you’re crossing your legs and Tobirama’s imagination will take it from there no matter how much he tries to distract himself. By the time he gets home, he has managed to work himself up until he’s all out of patience.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You wanted me to spend all day thinking about fucking you.” “Why are you going so slow? You wanted to ride, so ride me. Faster.” “You’re not getting off that easy. You don’t get to come until I say so.” “Tell me how much you want it.” “You’re about to come, aren’t you? Do it. Come for me.”

Nara Shikamaru

Shikamaru can’t be bothered with talking dirty. It takes a lot of effort to think of something sexy to say, and he’s already expending enough energy by having sex. He’s more likely to get you to talk dirty and then grunt in an agreeable sort of way at the right moments to spare himself from having to do it.

If you really, really wanted it and it was a special occasion (birthday sex, possibly) he might make a half-hearted attempt because he forgot to get you an actual birthday present and doesn’t want you to get mad at him. It’s annoying, but if it will keep him from having to sleep on the couch…

It’s mostly mild dirty talk like “you’re so tight,” or “ah, you’re being so noisy. Does it feel good?” anything more vulgar than that just embarrasses him and makes him want to cringe. It’s best not to push him for more because he will just flip you over and stuff your face in a pillow where he can’t hear you. It’s less troublesome that way.

Hidan

Isn’t this a given? It’s Hidan. He has a filthy mouth even when he isn’t balls deep inside of someone. I hope that you’re okay with dirty talk so vulgar and depraved that it can border on being unsexy and downright offensive at times. Even if it annoys you or offends you, Hidan doesn’t particularly care and he isn’t likely to stop or tone it down just because you ask him to.

There are no words that are off limits to him. Yes, he will say “cunt” and often, along with “slut”, “whore” and even “cockslut” when he’s feeling especially creative and inspired. Hidan enjoys the sound of his own voice, so he will probably have a near constant commentary going on until he starts getting close to orgasm, then it sort of degenerates into a steady stream of disjointed curses.

“You look like such a slut right now, it’s getting me so fucking hard.” “Spread your legs and fuck yourself with your fingers. Slower. Fuck yes, just like that.” “Your pussy is squeezing me so fucking tight. Are you going to come already?” “I’m going to fuck your face until you gag on my cock.” “You’re a greedy slut. Can’t get enough of my dick, can you?” 

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

*sweats nervously* So uhh… I kind of headcanon that most of the Uchiha brats approach the idea of masturbation with the same enthusiasm that they would approach swallowing Amaterasu with. Also, bear in mind that when I wrote Madara’s, I had his early 20′s, pre-canon self in mind because I just can’t see current timeline Madara having time for something like that when there’s a war and the disputable salvation of ninjakind to plan. That being said, I live for writing filth and this made me happy. Bless you, anon. ~Admin Axel

Uchiha Itachi

Itachi doesn’t masturbate very often at all, he’s more the type to ignore his frustrations and throw himself into learning a new technique or completing a mission where he can’t afford to let his mind wander. He’s hoping that by the time he has a moment to himself, his baser urges will be forgotten and he will not have to give into what is, in Itachi’s mind, a last resort. It has to be a pretty intense urge to get to Itachi, because he is very good at controlling himself.

Since he finds it so distasteful, Itachi tends to get it over with quickly and efficiently. Like in the shower, where no one will interrupt and it will wash all the evidence away. And believe me, when you go as long as Itachi does without masturbating, there is a lot of evidence.

Itachi prefers a tighter grip and rubs his thumb along the slit on the head with every upward stroke, because he is particularly sensitive there. The muscles in his legs twitch when he starts speeding up, and he has to put on hand on the wall of the shower to brace himself.

When Itachi comes, his shoulders hunch over and presses his forehead against the shower wall, stroking himself quickly until his cock starts jerking and he releases in his hand. No matter how intense his orgasm is, Itachi never moans - he just kind of pants through it until he can regulate his breathing again.

Uchiha Shisui

Shisui can go months and months without masturbating, then go through a period where he masturbates every night for a couple of weeks. It embarrasses him though, so he goes to great lengths to avoid anyone finding out that he even thinks about it. He will not masturbate if there is even the smallest chance of getting caught, even if he’s on one side of the house and someone else is asleep on the other side. He won’t risk it.

Shisui has tried looking at a porn magazine before while he was masturbating, but seeing strangers in such intimate positions made him uncomfortable and he had to shove it aside before he could finish. Instead of throwing the magazine in the trash like a normal person, he burned it in secret and buried the ashes so no one would ever find out he had it.

Shisui will draw it out occasionally. He starts by stripping down to his underwear and sitting against the headboard, palming himself through his boxers. When he’s good and hard, he’ll slide his boxers off and alternate his pace between slow, languid strokes and fast, uneven ones that make his breath hitch. As he gets closer to orgasm though, he slows it down to barely moving and will sometimes even pull his hand away completely, delaying his release for a stronger orgasm.

If Shisui is edging himself, when he comes it hits him like a freight train. He groans low in his throat and every muscle in his body goes rigid, but through some inhuman strength of will the pace of his hand never speeds up - he leisurely strokes himself through his orgasm, building it in intensity until his eyes roll back in his head. When he’s finished, Shisui is boneless and satisfied, and has just enough time to clean himself up before he is out like a light.

Uchiha Madara

Madara has spent his life firmly repressing his baser needs, but every so often it does break through his rigid self-control. When it does it is almost always late at night when he’s lying in bed with nothing else to do, and it annoys him because he has very little control over it. The matter is decided as soon as he thinks about it - his brain starts helpfully providing him with flashes of people he finds attractive in compromising positions and Madara ends up with an erection that can’t be willed away or ignored.

He usually turns over onto his back on his tatami mat, unties the belt around his waist that keeps his nemaki closed and pushes his underwear down over his hips just enough so that they won’t get in the way. Madara has no interest in getting completely naked just to jerk off - he thinks it’s stupid.

Madara is kind of straight to the point about it. He doesn’t try to touch himself anywhere else or ramp up his arousal by indulging in drawn-out fantasies. It’s a purely physical release, and the quickest way to get it over with is to be fast and rough. He spits in his hand, grasps his cock firmly and immediately sets a fast pace, twisting his hand around his length when he reaches the head. He’s completely silent through most of it, but when he gets close to orgasm, Madara starts groaning low in his throat and hissing through clenched teeth.

When Madara comes, he plants his feet flat on the tatami mat and throws his head back against his pillow, his back arching off of the floor. Usually he bites down on his lip to keep himself quiet, but if he comes really violently, he might not catch his hoarse shout in time.

Uchiha Sasuke

Sasuke is the most prepared masturbator on the planet. He always has to have everything organized beforehand, like tissues and plenty of lube within reach, as well as a damp cloth because it can get messy. He can’t stand the feeling of come drying on his skin, and it’s even worse if he has to get up and go to the bathroom to clean off - walking around with jizz all over you is so… undignified.

Sasuke likes a really tight grip when he masturbates, so he has to coat his hand liberally with lube to prevent chafing. Once properly lubed, he grips the base of his cock hard and slowly makes his way to the head, where he will circle his thumb around the head and smear the little beads of precum that gather there. His head lolls back and he groans quietly, his hips jerking every time his fingers stroke over the sensitive spot just beneath the head on the underside of his length.

He tends to grab onto something when he starts getting close - his headboard, his sheets, or even his own hair if it’s the only thing within reach. It’s a reflex he can’t quite get rid of, he does it without really thinking about what he’s doing. When he orgasms, he strokes his twitching length rapidly, a hoarse groan falling from his lips as he spills pearly ribbons of come on his abdomen. As soon as his muscles stop tensing, he reaches for the conveniently placed cloth and wipes away the evidence before it can dry.

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

Kakashi with his child (preferably a girl) headcanons?

Hatake Kakashi With a Daughter Headcanons

Kakashi’s daughter will inherit his unruly hair and as a proud proponent of letting his hair go free and wild, he has no idea what to do with his daughter’s hair. He tries his best but to his bewilderment, the more he tries to brush it out the wilder and fluffier it gets. When her hair is sticking up like she’s been electrocuted, Kakashi sighs, gives up and ties it up on top of her head in a style that reminds him of Shikamaru’s hair. It’s the only one he knows how to do.

He is a very involved father, especially for every major milestone. He tried to teach her to say “mama” and “daddy” until he was blue in the face, but the first word ended up being “Pakkun”, much to his secret delight and the irritation of his wife. When the time came for her first steps, Kakashi would spend hours just sitting a foot or so away from her and attempting to coax her over to him with sweets. It took a few days and a lot of patience, but he succeeded in the end.

He’s a very laid-back parent. Of course he will intervene if he feels like his daughter is in any real danger, but he also understands that little bumps and bruises are part of the learning curve and an unavoidable part of being a child. Kakashi is very much a “learn by experience” dad, and encourages his daughter’s curiosity and imagination while keeping a watchful eye on her at all times to make sure she isn’t doing anything too dangerous. If she happens to fall or bump her head, he just heaves a long-suffering sigh, picks her back up, pats her on the head and sends her on her way.

Kakashi is serious about instilling the lesson that protecting your important people is what makes people strong, and sets about drilling it in her head from the time she is a newborn. Even if she doesn’t choose to be a shinobi, he still believes that it is a very important lesson to learn and probably the best advice he can ever give her as a father.

Kakashi is the bedtime storyteller every night, because his daughter thinks it’s funny that he uses different voices for each character. She loses it when he pitches his voice high when voicing a female character and erupts into a giggle fit, which in turn makes Kakashi laugh. Needless to say, it takes Kakashi forever to get her settled down enough to go to sleep. He doesn’t mind though, story time is his favorite too.

He will occasionally blackmail Naruto, Sakura or Sasuke into babysitting his daughter. Naruto and Sakura don’t mind - they love his daughter. Sasuke on the other hand will scowl and grouse, but give in anyway because of that whole “pardoned him for all of his crimes” thing that Kakashi keeps cheerfully reminding him of. Surprisingly, Sasuke is his daughter’s favorite babysitter. She thinks he is hilarious and often pesters Kakashi to go visit “uncle grouch.” 

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

Uchiha's gif reaction to something sexy their s/o does.

Madara Uchiha

Obito Uchiha

Itachi Uchiha

Sasuke Uchiha

Shisui Uchiha

Izuna Uchiha

Kagami Uchiha

Fugaku Uchiha

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

How would gaara, shisui, and Naruto feel about an arranged marriage? How would they treat the bride to be? How do they handle the wedding night and how is life after that?

Hooooo shit, I got so excited this became a mini-story. I’m so sorry, unless you like long headcanons, in which case it was my pleasure. I’m a sucker for the arranged marriage trope. Also sorry about the Gaara gif, but I think he would make a fetching bride. ~Admin Axel

Naruto, Gaara and Shisui in an Arranged Marriage

Sabaku no Gaara

As Kazekage, Gaara is no stranger to the idea of a politically motivated arranged marriage. A marriage to strengthen the bonds between two villages or clans is an antiquated practice, but it’s not unheard of even in this day and age. While Gaara is not what I would call pleased by this proposal, he isn’t against it either if it’s in the best interest of Sunagakure.

Gaara is polite, but reserved about the whole thing. He doesn’t open up to or even trust people easily, so while he will always be a gentleman, he will keep enough of himself locked away so he can protect himself if things don’t work out.

It would be a lengthy engagement so he can gauge if he can trust her, but it’s worth it. In the end, when Gaara finally trusts his bride-to-be, he is so sweet to her. He can’t believe he got so lucky in something like an arranged marriage when he spent his whole life reaching out for someone to love and who will love him in return.

Gaara has a hard time concentrating during the lavish reception because he knows what he is expected to do when they are finally alone. Gaara is filled with a nervous anticipation, but he hides it well for the sake of the party. When he takes her home, he undresses her tentatively and reverently, leaving soft kisses over the skin he exposes. The first time he is intimate with his wife, he makes love to her. There’s plenty of time for rougher exploration later, but that night he just wanted to take it slow with her and learn what makes her feel good.

Their marriage would strengthen the alliance between Gaara’s village and his wife’s village, and in the quiet aftermath they would enjoy a peaceful and prosperous life. Gaara quickly learns to balance his work and his life at home with his wife, because he wants to enjoy this stroke of good fortune and never take a single moment for granted. Within the year, Gaara would begin talking to his wife about starting a family together.

Uchiha Shisui

Most of marriages in the Uchiha clan are arranged on some level, but usually between distantly related family members to keep the bloodline pure. Shisui grew up with the idea that while he could have flings with non-Uchihas, eventually the day would come when he would have to give that up and marry a relative. The proposal doesn’t exactly surprise him, but it throws him for a loop when he finds out his bride-to-be is not part of the clan.

The Uchiha clan expects him to conduct himself with dignity and stoicism, but he doesn’t really care about behaving as he’s told. Although he has a humble heart, there is something about impressing a woman that brings out the competitive side in him. Shisui will talk her into sitting in at his spars with his family members and pull out all of his flashiest moves for her.

After a while of learning who his fiance is as a person and deeming her worthy, he is loyal to a fault. He believes that if there is anyone who truly deserves the kind of devotion he is capable of, it’s the woman who will one day have his children. He always puts the needs and desires of his bride-to-be before his own, even if it costs him.

Shisui fidgets through the entire wedding ceremony and inwardly curses the pageantry and long-winded speeches that the women in his family insisted on. For months both he and his fiance had to be content with lingering touches and stolen kisses, and he wants her. He wants her like he has never wanted anything in his life, and he makes that clear to her the moment he finally gets her alone. Their first time is intense and passionate and when it’s over and they’re laying there catching their breath, it’s next to impossible to stop smiling because the future looks so promising. Shisui wakes his wife several times throughout the night for a repeat performance - he just can’t get enough of her.

Marriage isn’t always going to be neat and blissful, and Shisui is well aware of that so he intends to make the most of the honeymoon phase. It’s not long after their wedding that the Uchiha clan starts pushing for them to have a baby, and although they aren’t against the idea of a child, they want to enjoy each other as husband and wife first. Maybe in a few years they will start trying, but for now they are content to have each other.

Uzumaki Naruto

Naruto is obstinate about the whole thing the second the council decides to lay the proposal before him. Even though there is sense in arranging a marriage between himself and a seal master in case something went awry with the Kyuubi, it still rubs Naruto the wrong way. He outright tells the council he will not be agreeing to anything until he meets this seal master girl himself.

Even though this girl who is supposed to be his wife is beautiful, he still has a hard time accepting that someone is being handed to him like a gift. It seems wrong and unnatural. Naruto keeps the council at bay by never outright agreeing to the engagement, and uses the time he’s gained to get to know this girl. He can’t stand the idea that she is being forced into marrying him and has to know for certain that this is something she wants, and not some duty she is being pressured into.

Naruto is forever the boisterous, loud-mouthed ball of sunshine and he is no different around his bride to be. He excitedly introduces her to his friends, making sure that she feels welcome at all times because he knows what it’s like to be unwelcome. In rare, quiet moments when he’s exhausted himself and he’s feeling unusually pensive, he will sit down next to her with his eyes downcast like he’s expecting to be laughed at or told to get lost and ask her again, “are you sure this is what you want?” When she grabs his hand and smiles warmly at him, assuring him that she’s never wanted anything more in her life, Naruto’s smile is like the dawn breaking after a stormy night, and she can’t help the way her heart gets lodged in her throat.

Naruto spends the majority of the reception in good spirits, laughing at the teasing jibes of his friends as they offer the bride condolences for her choice in a husband. It’s not until a smirking Kiba nudges him and offers him some tips on how to make his new wife moan that it hits him. You can physically see when it registers in his brain that he’s about to have sex, because all the sudden he’s flushed and a little sweaty. It’s not like he hasn’t thought of it before, but it was always a secret thought of a far-away future and it snuck up on him so quickly that he was caught off-guard.

When he gets his blushing bride home, it’s obvious that he’s nervous from the way he resolutely refuses to look at her until she turns his head with gentle hands and smiles at him. “I don’t know what I’m doing either.” She assures him, and that’s all the encouragement he needs. He sweeps her up in his arms and carries her to the bedroom where the two of them spend the better part of the night thoroughly enjoying figuring it out.

Naruto is a kindhearted and cheerful but dopey sort of husband, and he spends most of his time pranking his wife. She’s his favorite girl, and there is no one he’d rather spend his days hanging out with. The two of them discuss children in the blissful aftermath of their wedding, but they just kind of shrug and decide to let fate take its course. Whenever they are meant to have children, they will have children. That comes a lot sooner than either of them expected, because he totally knocked her up on their honeymoon. Oops.

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

Any idea on what would happen if team Gai tried to set Neji up with his crush? To make their job easier let's say crush also happens to be Tenten's good friend

Ahahaha, this was so much fun. I love the dynamics of Team Gai and the potential shenanigans from the polar opposite personalities involved. Thanks for the request bby! ~Admin Axel

Team Gai Trying to Set Neji Up With His Crush Headcanons

For all of Gai’s exuberance and action posing he’s actually very observant, particularly with those whom he has taken a special interest in. Namely, his poor students. Neji did his best to avoid suspicion, but the second his gaze lingered on his crush a little too long, Gai slung an arm around his shoulder with a bellowing laugh and started going on about “seeing the flames of hot-blooded passion in his eyes.” All Neji could do was try in vain to shut him up before his crush overheard and silently hope that Gai’s fate involved him being struck with a memory altering jutsu. Sooner rather than later, preferably. 

Gai-sensei wastes no time in recruiting Lee and Tenten to help get Neji and his crush together. Lee does it with the same joyful determination as Gai-sensei, but Neji suspects Tenten is only along for the ride for a laugh at his expense.

Gai-sensei calls an emergency team meeting the next week, although it’s to be held in the middle of town for some reason. Instead of the mission briefing he expected, Neji is greeted by teammates who look like they all know something that he doesn’t. Gai-sensei loudly proclaims that “the first step to winning the love of a delicate flower is to impress them with a display of youthful energy and manly strength!” and challenges Neji to some sort of bizarre street fight in an area where his crush is likely to walk by according to Tenten (who gleefully provides information on the whereabouts of her friend because this is just too good.)

Neji tried to escape before he could get dragged into their idiotic plotting, he really did. But Gai-sensei wasn’t having it and kept following him and shouting challenges and people were beginning to stare. Grudgingly, Neji accepts the challenge with every intention of steering them somewhere more secluded where there would be less witnesses. Unfortunately, the moment he turns around he hears Lee shout, “The target has arrived, Gai-sensei!” 

He wishes he hadn’t agreed to this stupid challenge. Gai flamboyantly exaggerates damage from every hit that Neji lands. When Neji lands a strike that Gai ordinarily would have dodged, Gai goes careening backwards like he’d just been slammed with a bulldozer and gives Neji what he thinks is a sneaky thumbs-up in mid-air. It is not. Neji’s crush looks so confused, and Tenten’s snickering doesn’t help.

Neji finally says he’ll go talk to his crush and ask her out on the condition that the rest of his team stop trying to help. While they agree, it doesn’t stop them from following him and eavesdropping when he finally works up the nerve to walk up to his crush and ask them if they would like to have dinner with him.

When Neji leaves his crush with a promise that he will come by their house to escort them to dinner, he is immediately cornered by his team much to his exasperation. He spends the better part of an hour listening to the jubilant exclamations of Gai-sensei and Lee, who insist on going on about the “beauty of spirited young love” and embracing a stiff and unresponsive Neji with tears glistening on their cheeks.

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

Hiìiii! Can I request nsfw headcannons of genma / jiraiya ? Whatever you are comfortable with ! Thanks !

Bruh, yes you can. Genma and Toad Daddy don’t get the attention they deserve, so I will gladly give it to them. Thank you for asking for these precious babies. I don’t care if Jiraiya is like 50, he’s still my precious baby. ~Admin Axel

Shiranui Genma NSFW Headcanons

Don’t be upset if you find out one day that you were supposed to be a one-night stand. Genma has a bit of a reputation as a womanizer, but he isn’t totally averse to a committed relationship if he finds someone he clicks with. It just so happens that the key to making Genma feel that click is to blow his mind in bed, and believe me it takes something special to blow his mind.

Genma can be a tease, and it is completely intentional. He can know he has to leave for a mission in an hour and spend that entire hour whispering suggestive things in your ear and rubbing slow circles on your inner thigh under your dress, or outright coaxing you to grind on his lap until you’re panting and ready to jump him, but at the last minute he stands up and casually mentions that he has to go and won’t be home for a week. He believes that the anticipation makes the sex better, and he’s right. He will spend the entire week thinking about you and what he wants to do to you, and when he returns home he immediately seeks you out because he can’t wait another second to be inside of you.

He has a bit of a  shoe fetish. Not like a weird I-want-to-lick-your-flip-flops-while-you-aren’t-home fetish, but he wants to fuck you with you wearing some saucy stilettos. Genma is only a man, and he isn’t immune to the charms of propping the heels of your shoes on his shoulders so he can feel it when your legs start jerking and your heels dig into his skin. He loves it, it drives him crazy and the second he feels it, his pace becomes so frantic that the sheets peel off of the bed and the mattress is hanging over the edge of the frame by the time he’s done with you.

If the two of you are in a committed relationship, there will come a time when he begs you to let him fuck you without a condom. Don’t let him. His pull-out game is weak af and his sperm count is off the charts. If you are anywhere close to ovulating and you aren’t on birth control, you will get pregnant.

Genma is a proud proponent of phone sex, and is not against doing it in situations where he genuinely can’t physically be with you, like when he’s recovering from a nasty injury or something of that nature. It usually starts playfully, he’ll call you and say, “Hey gorgeous, I’ve been thinking about you all day.” But after a few minutes of idle talk about your day, he’ll try to lure you in by asking you what you’re wearing. Even if you think it’s cheesy, it’s very, very hard to resist Genma when he’s attempting to literally charm the pants off of you. He will describe in detail exactly what he wants to do to you, and what he wants you to do to yourself while he’s listening. If there is any way possible that he can masturbate, he’s going to do it while listening to you get off on the other end of the line.

Jiraiya NSFW Headcanons

Jiraiya is a world-renowned peeping Tom and a pervert in general, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s the most experienced man in the world. More often than not, his reputation precedes him and most women won’t have anything to do with him, so his sex life in particular has suffered due to his… erm, quirks. That being said, he does have a very active imagination and can think of a hundred things he wants to do to you at any given time, so you will never, ever be bored with the sex.

In the early stages of your relationship, Jiraiya will probably go all out when it’s time to take it to the bedroom, and if there is one thing he is good at it’s setting the mood. He’s got the dim, romantic lighting, the mood music, the red silk sheets, the champagne (sake for him of course, but only enough for a little liquid courage.) He will pull out all the stops to impress you and make sure you have a good time with him, because he is all about taking care of you.

Jiraiya likes to watch you touch yourself for him, but he wants to instruct you. Like he might tell you to sit down on the desk and spread your legs with your feet flat on the surface, then to slide your hand inside of your underwear and touch yourself while he watches. It turns him on for you to be doing something so personal and vulgar in front of him, with just your tiny little panties to hide your modesty.

If time and experience have taught him anything, it’s to lose the impatience of youth and take his time with you. Getting in a rush so he can get off is not his style. Jiraiya is a slow, methodical lover and he is happy to take his time and build you up slowly, because he knows it’ll be so much more intense when you finally come. He’s particularly skillful in the way that he can push his own needs aside and draw out every motion to amplify your pleasure.

He’s a sucker for a good striptease, the kind where you crawl between his legs in some skimpy lingerie and writhe in his lap to a slow, sensual beat. You don’t even have to take your clothes all the way off, because the second the music starts and he sees your hips swaying gently in time to the music,  he is hard as a rock and ready for anything you can give him.