#adoptionblog

[aerialklove]

Hello Beautiful People!

I am so sorry I have been MIA lately. So much has happened since I have posted! I hope that you all are doing well! So here is the run down:

My birth mother P landed in the hospital ( were I work) and I braced myself for the worst. She was okay thankfully. I called her the next day and she told me she suffered a seizure or had seizure like activity. She was recovering and she said she was ok. I was relieved that she was okay but I cant help but wonder what she would be like if she lived a healthier lifestyle. I also wished her a Happy Mother’s Day. I usually do every year. Even my mom asked about P from time to time.

I got engaged to my boyfriend on Valentines Day. He surprised me and I of course said yes. We have been dating for three years but we have been friends since 2013. We are hoping to get married soon but everything is soooooo expensive. It’s been fun being engage but tedious as well. All in all things are going well!

I took a DNA test to see if B, Tee and Roddy’s father, was my biological father and he ended up not being my bio father. He was sad and I was sad that he was sad. He says he doesn’t understand because I look just like his soon. I did tell him that this doesn’t have to change the relationship we have. I would like to a DNA test on my biological father though. That would be super interesting or do DNA. testing with my twin brother. I was not particularly sad about B not being my bio father. He is really sweet though and I love the relationship we have.

I am eleven years post reunion and I am so grateful that the work I put in and the work my family put in initially is paying off. I feel like I am not swimming in the sea of unknown anymore. Everyone is just a call away.

Oh yeah I have an essay published in Chicken Soup for the Soul “ I Am Speaking Now” Black Women Share Their Truth In 101 Stories Of Love, Courage, And Hope. It will be available by June and my essay is call Pretty Brown Girl.

Reach out to me! I would love to hear from you!

Peace & Love ~ A

[aerialklove]

Introduction: My name is Aerial! I am twenty-eight years old! I am an adoptee! I was fostered and adopted by my parents and found my biological family ten years ago! I also have a twin brother who was adopted with me. I have been blogging my experience as an adoptee for almost ten years. I offer the highs and the lows of my adoption journey. It's rewarding and emotional all at the same time.

I am the oldest of four siblings I was raised with and the second youngest (my twin is the youngest) of five biological siblings. Talk about being the awkward middle child. lol! You all are more than welcomed to ask me anything! I am opened and honest and would love to connect!

Peace & Love

~A.

[aerialklove]

Here is an overview of my adoptive family:

Momma- I call my adoptive mom momma ( or “my mom”). She fostered me and my twin from six months old until seven years old. I don't know her by anything else except my mom. We have a better relationship now that I am an adult than we use to have.

Dad- I call my adoptive father dad! He was more of a provider for us. He tossed the football and shot hoops with us occasionally but he work two jobs to give us everything that we asked for. He would come home and watch westerns, eat and go to bed but he was a great day and even to this day he still calls me cupcake. Other family says I am his favorite.

A ( my twin brother)- My twin brother and I was adopted together. The social worker did not want to break us up. He is a very quiet person. His adoption story, even though we grew up in the same home, is different than mine. He was very adamant about not wanting to know his birth family or anything to do with the subject. Now we have met the majority of our birth family on our birth mother side. He is my best friend and the only biological connection I had growing up. We have a great relationship.

Wil- Wil is the first natural born child of my adoptive parents. Before our adoption was legalized my mom gave birth to him. We fought a lot as children. We never agreed on anything, we made fun of each other, and there was always a power struggle. Now in our 20s we have a better relationship.

Meme ( Meya)- Mini is the youngest. She didn’t like me growing up. She favored A more than me. She is the last child of my adoptive parents. We really didn’t get along that well. Now we have a great relationship.

Granny- My granny is my mom’s mother. She is the matriarch of our family. We stayed with my grandparents a lot and she definitely had a hand in raising me. My grandfather passed away 15 years ago so my grandmother has been widowed since. She is a very sweet lady but will let you know what she thinks about you.

Auntie- My aunt is also my godmother and my mom’s only sister. She was always around and she also had a hand in my upbringing. I don’t believe we have the best relationship growing up but now we are better.

[aerialklove]

Hello Friends!

Like this post if you would like an update!! 

Peace& Love  ~A.

[aerialklove]

My Adoption Story ( Overview)

Hey friends! So I wanted to give somewhat of an overview of my adoption story so you dont have to scroll through almost 900 post to figure out what I am talking about!! 

My name is Aerial and I am twenty-six years old. I am from Virginia here in the U.S. I was born as a twin. By the time we were four months old we were taken out of our biological home and placed in foster care. Not only were we placed, my older sister Quan was placed, my first cousin was placed and we all were basically seperated however the social workers kept me and my twin brother together. 

I recently found out that my birth mother P. did not leave us in an apartment by ourselves ( me, my twin brother, Quan, and two of our first cousins) her late sister did. Between the ages of four months to nine years old left with a druggie alcoholic lady. 

My birth mother raised all Hell in the social workers office trying to get us back but unfourtnately over the course of the next five years she was deemed unstable to care for her five children.  My foster parents now my adoptive parents had just secured three acres of land, built a two story house and had two kids naturally. We were legally adopted by the time we were seven years old.

I found out I was adopted around the age of eleven or twelve however I had a feeling around nine that I was different and I started asking questions. I am Black and my adoptive family is Black so nobody really mentioned anything. “Why are their no baby baby pictures of me?” “ Why are there no ultrasound pictures of me? Nobody really had the answers for me. I was putting clothes in the washing machine in the basement and I tripped over a small box. I picked up all the letters to put them back and one had my name on it but my name was different. It was court case papers that confirmed my adoption. My mom found out and she was not very happy. 

Condensed Version

I found my biological siblings on facebook and we met in the summer of 2010. My birth mother called me on my 18th birthday we had a secret phone relationship until I met her in a hospital for people with mental conditons. I met my birth mother’s father side of the family and my biological father in the course of the next three years. 

I started this blog in 2013, I think, just to really get my thoughts down becaue I didnt really have anyone to really talk to honestly about how I felt and found a beautiful community of adoptees, people who dealt with foster care, adoptive parents, biological parents, and advocates of the adoption triad. 

Yes I have been on this journey since I nine. I have experience the positvie and the not so positive...trying to escape generational traps, being a good daughter to both my mom and birth mother, acceptance and rejection...and the joy of being an Aunt to all these kids that I adore with my whole heart ( three nephews and two nieces). I can truly say I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could and I hope sharing my story will inspire you to do to the same.

Feel free to reach out to me. PM me for contact info outside of tumblr. Take care of yourself! 

Peace & Love ~A.

[aerialklove]

Contacting My Birth Mother or Not?

I broke my kneecap ( fractured my right patella bone) a little over a month ago. I had surgery on the 8th of Feb. My birth mother came to see me the next morning. She met my boyfriend and was showing affection towards me as a mother would. 

Not to long ago she was in the same hospital admitted for a slight overdose on drugs. She made it to the hospital in time. I remember visiting her by myself a couple of times and thinking “ Could she have been a mother to me?” That same thought came to my mind as she was visiting me. I was sitting there trying to be present and aware of my feelings. I wasn't in pain..at the moment...so I was pretty upbeat. 

She told me to give her a call when I could. The first three weeks out of the hospital was brutal on my mental and my emotional safe. I could barely do anything physically. I didn't want to talk to anybody. Her birthday came around and I didn't call her. I did send her a text. I told her I wasn't feeling well and that I was actually pretty down. She texted me and told me that she loves me and I believe her. However, creating a healthy boundary is necessary for me at this point in time.

All I have ever wanted was my birth mother in my life. Once we initially got in contact almost ten years ago I was so excited and eager to get to know her. Once I met her in person and was able to put a face to the voice I became really sad honestly. Why? Because she became real, tangible and not a fantasy in my mind. She couldn't be what I imagined..anymore. As time went on I thought having her in my life and meeting family would feel a void but it ultimately didn’t. Not all of it anyway. So there I was. I accomplished finding my bio family which sadly a lot of adoptees are not able to do but now at that point in time, I felt lost all over again.  At 24 I was angry because I thought that would fix me. It didn't because I didn't know who I was or wanted to be. I began to spiral internally which lead me to therapy.    

All that to say: The hardest decision I am and have been making is when and how much I allow my birth mother to be in my daily life. I love her so much. I appreciate who she is and her life. Even when people say “ How can you love someone who left you at the most vulnerable time of your life?”  I say “ Forgiving her and forgiving myself ( A whole post by itself) That’s how I am able to love her and accept love from her. It is very hard. There are days when I want/need to hear her voice to settle my heart and there are days when I am not emotionally capable to hear her voice in my heard. I am grateful for all the days. 

So, for now, I am focused on healing and regaining the use of my right leg!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

[aerialklove]

Breakdown of my Biological Family vs. The Family that raised me...

Biological Family

Birth Mother: P. Biological Father: T Siblinging on my birth mother side: Roddy (brother), Tee (sister), Quan ( sister), A. ( twin brother)

Sibling my my biological father side: S. ( sister) Quan ( sister) A. ( twin brother)

So me, Quan and A. are full siblings.  However... Tee and Roddy’s father believe’s I am his biological dauther because I look exactly like his son! There has been no DNA test done though. So do I know who my biological father is for real? Nope but I love all of my siblings. 

Adoptive Family 

Momma: S. Dad: N. Siblingings: Wil ( brother) Meme ( sister)

My parents fostered me and my twin from five months old to about seven years old. In that time span she was able to have two children naturally. She thought she couldnt have kids initially and thats why she became a fostered parent. Boom! She ended up with four kids. My twin and I was seven, Wil was five, and Meme was probaby a year old.  I am the oldest of four and the second youngest of six. I am older than my twin brother. Talk about awkward middle child!

So seven siblings and two that do not want to meet me which is okay. That’s basically the simplified version of things.

[aerialklove]

Returning to the blog....

Hey friends! I am finally up and running again! I have a new laptop and the keyboard works! So many things have happened that I would love to share with you! Here are some bullet point topics that will pop up on the blog!

1. I broke my knee-cap in three places and while in the hospital my boyfriend ( B.) met my birth mother! Yes she came and visited me in the hospital. 

2. I met B.’s mother down on The Outer Banks...which is in North Carolina here in the states. The ocean is beautiful down there and she is the cutest nicest person I have met in a long time. 

3. My older biological sisters Tee and Quan’s relationship is ( in my opinion) dwindling and my heart aches so much!

4. My twin brother’s baby is five months old now and looks just like him! The baby momma drama is real though.

5. I am still trying to write some type of book or start a vlog...I really want another social platform.

I told you a lot of things have been going on! As far as the broken kneecap: I am on the up and up! Surgery is behind me and I am now walking without crutches!

I hope you all are doing well! Actually how is everyone doing?

Peace & Love ~A.