#birthfather

[sweetlittledaisy7]

Birth Dads

I hardly hear anything about birth dads. Why? People mention and praise birth moms but not dads

[aerialklove]

My Adoption Story ( Overview)

Hey friends! So I wanted to give somewhat of an overview of my adoption story so you dont have to scroll through almost 900 post to figure out what I am talking about!! 

My name is Aerial and I am twenty-six years old. I am from Virginia here in the U.S. I was born as a twin. By the time we were four months old we were taken out of our biological home and placed in foster care. Not only were we placed, my older sister Quan was placed, my first cousin was placed and we all were basically seperated however the social workers kept me and my twin brother together. 

I recently found out that my birth mother P. did not leave us in an apartment by ourselves ( me, my twin brother, Quan, and two of our first cousins) her late sister did. Between the ages of four months to nine years old left with a druggie alcoholic lady. 

My birth mother raised all Hell in the social workers office trying to get us back but unfourtnately over the course of the next five years she was deemed unstable to care for her five children.  My foster parents now my adoptive parents had just secured three acres of land, built a two story house and had two kids naturally. We were legally adopted by the time we were seven years old.

I found out I was adopted around the age of eleven or twelve however I had a feeling around nine that I was different and I started asking questions. I am Black and my adoptive family is Black so nobody really mentioned anything. “Why are their no baby baby pictures of me?” “ Why are there no ultrasound pictures of me? Nobody really had the answers for me. I was putting clothes in the washing machine in the basement and I tripped over a small box. I picked up all the letters to put them back and one had my name on it but my name was different. It was court case papers that confirmed my adoption. My mom found out and she was not very happy. 

Condensed Version

I found my biological siblings on facebook and we met in the summer of 2010. My birth mother called me on my 18th birthday we had a secret phone relationship until I met her in a hospital for people with mental conditons. I met my birth mother’s father side of the family and my biological father in the course of the next three years. 

I started this blog in 2013, I think, just to really get my thoughts down becaue I didnt really have anyone to really talk to honestly about how I felt and found a beautiful community of adoptees, people who dealt with foster care, adoptive parents, biological parents, and advocates of the adoption triad. 

Yes I have been on this journey since I nine. I have experience the positvie and the not so positive...trying to escape generational traps, being a good daughter to both my mom and birth mother, acceptance and rejection...and the joy of being an Aunt to all these kids that I adore with my whole heart ( three nephews and two nieces). I can truly say I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could and I hope sharing my story will inspire you to do to the same.

Feel free to reach out to me. PM me for contact info outside of tumblr. Take care of yourself! 

Peace & Love ~A.

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

I have heard audio and seen video of other mothers and fathers getting this news. Open adoption isn't a guarantee.

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

It's been a hard time here lately. First my husband's cousin died. He was in his early 40s. He was an adoptee. I asked if his original family and especially his birthmom was told. No one would say anything so I suspect not. Then my Aunt N passed away a couple of days later. I know that her daughter (she'd be in her late 50s early 60s) that she lost during the Baby Scoop Era hasn't been found. Nor have I found my other cousin lost to foster adoption (she's in her late 30s). Her mom, Aunt P, died over a decade ago. My son almost died within weeks of his birth. Would they have told me? I mean, no one even told me he was ill when they knew something wasn't right before I ever left the hospital. Adoption, for so many of us, will never end in reunion. Tombstones can't hug you back.

[childofcoffee]

Wild how quickly time passes...

It's already been 18 months since the last time I heard from birthdad. It's never going to be an easy thing that he chose to abandon our adoption constellation, but I know it says nothing about me.

However, him leaving has left holes in places I didn't expect, and emotional responses I can't always predict.

Anger Sadness Hurt Rejection

Relief

I can't listen to Breaking Benjamin anymore - he was the reason I started listening to them. Yet I still love learning about cars and watching The Grand Tour - our relationship (back in 2009-10) was why I started learning about cars and watching BBC's Top Gear.

His presence in my life has made me who I am today. I don't want to erase that, but I also don't want to forever think about what I went through with him.

So, yesterday I allowed myself to reminisce about everything. But today I put those memories back in their box in the corner.

[whymomdeservesadiamond]

The Secrets of the Universe

As a young adoptee I had one simple quest: to find my birthmother. Twenty years later I found her, but she had already died. I did, however, joyously find loving aunts, uncles, two brothers, a sister, and even an 87-year-old grandmother! When it rains, it pours. My mission was successful, but a new quest began: I was told I had another sister who mysteriously vanished before she was one-year…

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[ohioadoptionoptions]

Adoption is love.  To learn more request info bbas.org/requestadoptioninfo

[lynnsollitto-blog]

Dear Birth Father - Happy Father's Day

Dear Birth Father – Happy Father’s Day

Dear Birth Father,

You often get the shaft because I don’t talk about you nearly as much as their birth mother.

I am sorry.

You see, it’s easier to talk about their birth mother when explaining things. She carried them in her “tummy” and gave birth to them. It’s pretty black and white: Daughters, you came out of her, you are part of her.

No offense, but I’m not ready yet to talk about theBirds…

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