#adoptionloss

[thedumbdichotomiesdiary]

New blog post written by my amazing husband. Very thoughtful and post from a man’s perspective on grace and healing through adoption loss #adoptionislove #blog #adoptionloss #grief #hope #healing

[ginawonder]

[ginawonder]

"One of the things people need to recognize is that there is no biological mirroring for the adopted child. They don’t see physical and personality traits reflected in the biological relatives around them. (These are inherent genetic traits; they’re not things you just pick up from living around people.) People who are born into biological families and stay in them take biological mirroring for granted. But this isn’t present in an adoptive family. So the adoptee is always trying to figure out how to be in that family and the family is trying to figure out how to be around that child." Nancy Verrier

Artwork by Kara Louise Judd titled "as I stood by myself"

[ginawonder]

Adoptees smile but they must also grieve over the loss of true family which so often goes ignored.

[ginawonder]

Many people I know live in denial and won't accept this reality/truth; these two people were in love and they made me. I was born to them, but was given up for adoption at infancy.

[ginawonder]

[ginawonder]

I am the reflection of loss & pain in the eyes of my adoptive parents

I am the plug to fill their infertile vacant holes

I am the headstone & the grave of their child that never was

I am the cause of her uterine cancer

I could never be enough no matter how I tried

I wear a mask in their production of make believe

The spotlight only shines on their pain and the chorus sings the measure of their sorrow