A brief history of reviewing things on the internet, vol. II

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A brief history of reviewing things on the internet, vol. II
An illustration by Donn P. Crane of the tale of Utgard-Loki from Norse mythology.
In this tale, the gods Thor and Loki, and two companions whose identities change depending on the version of the tale, wind up as guests in the home of Utgard-Loki, ruler of the Jötunns (giants).
As entertainment, Utgard-Loki challenges his guests to contests of skill and strength. Thor undertakes three challenges himself to prove how mighty he is. In the illustration above he was supposed to lift a large cat, but the cat was so heavy that - even with his tremendous strength - Thor was only able to lift one of the cat's paws off the floor.
Later it is revealed that Utgard-Loki tricked the gods with illusions. The "cat" was really Jörmungadr, the Midgard Serpent whose body encircles the entire Earth. Utgard-Loki and the other giants were terrified to witness Thor actually lift the colossal serpent.
The aesir, gods of the Norse and Germanic people of old, are a fascinating topic among paleobiologists. It is a well established fact that they did indeed exist, but their true nature has been a topic of great discussion. Even more interesting, however, is the cause of their demise.
Archaeological evidence of human inhabitation of Norway dates back as early as 9000 BCE. The earliest settlements in Scandinavia, however, date back almost two millennia before that.
To the early humans reaching the far north, the place they found would very much have looked like the realm of the gods. The people who lived in that land where the sun never set in the summer and never rose in the winter were taller than them, almost three meters where they didn't even reach two. They lived in stone houses that retained the warmth of their fireplaces and wielded weapons made of shining bronze.
But who were these gods?
Three skeletons are all that remains of the aesir. They were buried in a mound, together, closely embracing each other.
Two of them are male, one of them female. Their arms are long, long enough to enable them to comfortably assume a quadrupedal stance to run. They are digitigrades, with two strong fingers and two weak but opposable thumbs. The aesir have immense, thick skulls and 44 teeth.
The buried dead are clothed in furs and decorated with jewelry made from leather and quartz, and buried with them are sets of simple bronze tools. Each of them was found holding a simple clay vessel that once contained beer. All of them show signs of old injuries that have healed during their lifetimes. There is no doubt that they were loved and cared for.
Evolutionarily, aesir are distant relatives of modern-day pigs. Their proposed scientific name is Propotamochoerus ansuz, although some sources place them in the genus Megalochoerus instead.
The aesir left behind no writing, nor any surviving paintings or sculptures. The only accounts of their culture are the ones that were passed down through stories across millennia.
While the three aesir whose embrace endured the ages died somewhere around the year 6000 BCE, the traces of their people continue until the second millennium BCE. It is highly unclear what led to their disappearance, especially why no further skeletons remain.
The theories are myriad, of course. Famines, harsh winters, even literal ragnarök have been proposed as possible explanations, but neither is supported by any evidence whatsoever.
We know preciously little about these people, but what we know is that they were here, they took care of each other, and they laid to rest beneath the hills when their time was up.
The Heathen Third Path within Norse Paganism and modern Viking culture
The Heathen Third Path is a contemporary spiritual approach inspired by the indigenous pre-Christian traditions of Northern Europe. It honors the wisdom of the past while recognizing that we live in a modern, interconnected world. This path invites anyone and everyone who approaches the Old Ways with sincerity, curiosity, and respect to explore a meaningful relationship with nature, ancestry, and…
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Poetic Edda: Complete Master Works Edition
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1. Sacrificing for knowledge.
2. Ygdrasil, the Nine Worlds Tree.
3. Ancient fountain, of the type like Mimir's Well.
4. Odin, before his 'bargain.'
5. The sacrifice of normal sight - for a deeper insight...
6. Odin's personal blood sacrifice.
7. The wiser survivor.
8. Odin's disguise while traveling & testing others - including his son Thor.
9. Very striking Mimir's head - in his future - killed by the Vanir for suspicion of being a 'warlock.'
10. Looks like a modernized retelling - a genre that usually centers around the Greek myths.
Intro: This story 'happens' before the Vanir War & after Asgard was built.
Title: "How Odin Lost His Eye."
Text:
Odin, Lord of the Aesir, learned of a wondrous fountain from his raven spies.
Of a place beneath Ygdrasil's roots, right where sky & ocean met.
There, Mimir guarded his well - at the bottom of which, awaited a wealth of wisdom found nowhere else!
Every morn, this Giant would dip Gioll (his drinking horn) & drank of the well's empowering knowledge.
This, Mimir has been doing - since the Beginning of All Things.
So, that none could imagine just how wise this Giant was...
This didn't seem right with Odin.
The Giants were enemies, hoarding knowledge from before the Aesir were born...
Worse, the Giants used such wisdom for evil ends.
Moreover, Odin wanted to become the smartest being in existence...
So, he resolved to get a sip from this well - no matter what it would take!
That night, Odin donned his stripped cloak & his broad brimmed hat - taking along his famous 'staff.'
He trudged down Bifrost, to where it ended at Mimir's grotto.
Entering, Odin woke the half-asleep Mimir - who wasn't happy to see any one there.
The King of the Gods came right out & asked for a drink to quench his thirst.
Mimir frowned that, "None may find a drink here."
Odin moved on, offering anything as payment for one drink & Mimir fully awoke.
Recognizing Odin, the Giant's heart grew even colder, as fear now coursed thru his veins!
So, not wanting to antagonize the Aesir King, Mimir asked why Odin needed such a drink.
"I can see all that goes on in Heaven & upon the Earth," replied the proud king, "Yet, I lack the hidden wisdom of the deep."
"My ravens," Odin continued, "find out many secrets but, I would know all."
Then, the King once again offered anything for one drink...
Reluctantly, Mimir knobbed & said, "We Giants are older than the Gods & our wisdom is from when we were the only beings in existence."
"Such knowledge," the Giant continued, "is a very precious commodity."
"Nevertheless, I'll sell you a drink from my well - &, you'll become as one of us - a dangerous being."
Odin, being impatient, instantly agreed.
Hoping to scare the Aesir King off, Mimir set out his price.
"I'll only take one of your far-seeing eyes, to keep at the bottom of my well."
Here, Odin hesitated.
But, only because he was proud of his noble features.
Yet, looking at the bubbling fountain again, forced Odin's hand...
Unwittingly, Mimir offered Odin the drink he sought.
"Drink then," prophesized the Giant, "& grow in wisdom - for this hour is the beginning of trouble between our races."
Unheeding, Odin emptied Gioll & payed its unpleasant price.
When the King left, he was wiser than almost everyone.
Only Mimir surpassed him in this.
And, in fact, it seemed as if the Giant lost nothing that he couldn't spare - for partly blinding the King of his enemies!!
Yet, the Giant - wise as he was - could not see into the future.
For that's where this would be decided - who actually got the better part of this deal...
Personal note:
Wow, it's been a dog's age since I last posted here!
Somehow, I've been made some kind of 'official' for this site - for which I have no idea on how to proceed...
I'm just happy being an "answer guy" & a searcher after knowledge - though nothing as crippling as having to give up an eye!!
Hopefully, someone will drop me a few hints as to what it is that I'm supposed to be doing...
Help a fella out!!
The End, for now.
Special little thing in between. So I'm currently neckdeep in my current hyperfocus - Nordic Mythology, don't ask me how the shit I ended up here but it's quite nice and comfy °w° - and I guess it was just a matter of time till that manifests even more in my art then just by a God of War acrylic painting. So I just uhm….kinda stomped a new Undertale AU out of my brain and 'm calling it Eddatale. To name the obvious it kinda goes the same direction Reapertale did - just that I'm playing around with 'em nordic gods and mythology.
While I already did a first few catious sketches for this new AU, this one is the first proper artwork I have done here so far and I thought I stop pondering how the fuck I can introduce this properly and just post the first bit. :P For once not starting it with Sans and Papyrus, but with Asgore - welp okay, in this case more precisely with Odin :P
….even more precisely Odin, Munin and Hugin :3
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On Heathen Vættir Identification and Authentication
My appreciation to The Spirited Witch who gave me this writing prompt: “I would love to see more on spirit identifications and authentication.” Sarenth Óðinsson -Heathen Spiritworker is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Factors for Vættir Identification These are some of the most important contexts for vættir…