#agender experience

[endlessame]

them: what's your pronouns me: *looks to the camera* that's right, our contestants have no idea of which pronouns to use when referring to me. the only way to learn is by talking, the only way to talk is by interacting and the only way to interact is by beginning so without further ado let's begin...

[marleythebug]

It's weird saying 'i like being a boy'. Because everyone immediately thinks of a normal boy. No. Boy is like a xenogender to me. Boy as in not boy but still boy. Boy but not like that. Do you understand .

[elliothecloud]

My trans experience is being Agender. My Agender experience is a disconnection from the binary. It is not aligning with any form of fluidity or masc or fem. It is a state of being void of anything. I am not nonbinary. I am not fluid. I am not a man or a women.

I am simply me. I exist as neutral as possible. I have preferred pronouns. I still have dysphoria because I don't want any organs at all. However, I don’t want the opposite gender’s organs either. I want to be blank like a canvas. I have Zero ties to gender.

This is not everyone's Agender experience. Many view themselves as fluid or a form of nonbinary etc. This is simply me.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I had this dream where Achilles was just a teen living at the beach and the father was a scientist who invented a machine that helped you change forms.

It was not an accident when Achilles went inside the machine and started changing shapes. That machine had been built by a loving father with the purpose of releasing the beauty that threatened to burst his kid's body. And oh, how Achilles flew across that bruising sky among rainbow sparks chasing the trail the shapeshifting body created. There were wings and hooves, hair longer than the Earth, smiles wider than a mountain ranges. Achilles changed and changed, the body burned and burned. The features of that face were the ones of a lover, a child, the lady you passed down the street, the soldier weeping on the battlefield, the bird reaching its nest, the waves riding the wind, every surfer Achilles was friends with, every classmate, every teacher. Achilles was and was, 'til she landed in laughter and hit the arms of her father and used her boyish hands to clean the tears in her cheeks.

Do you think joy has a gender?

Achilles room had an aquarium on one wall. He liked to surf in the afternoon. If he climbed the aquarium and fell in it, the other side would be his father's lab. All the windows faced the sun and the sea. His father entered the machine a few minutes each day 'cause he wanted to look like a celebrity. They'd sit, his father showing Achilles men from magazines. I want his nose, he'd say. The father never faltered in his speech, no matter the form of his kid that day. Do you feel an adult yet, Achilles? Today are you just a little girl?

I dreamed Achilles got scared suddenly. The body returned to its caged form so fast, he reduced in weight and hidden under one of the lab tablets, Achilles cried.

Have your body ever ached with the strength required to keep all of you inside?

Have you ever felt the need to change who you are for the satisfaction of others.

Life can pressure you into your body or out of your body. I think both things are bad enough.

Some people want to gain muscle or lose weight or get bigger boobs or a straighter nose so they can correctly breathe or get a penis or change the color of their hair or get pointy ears or correct their vision or—

We are always ourselves. I am Achilles, because I don't know how to drive just like a kid, but I have my own bank account like an adult. I cry watching anime, I'm writing a thesis on linguistics. I dyed my hair, I removed my wisdom teeth, I am not my body, my body is me.

I woke up thinking "hey, the father started having fun, but soon the expectations of others and the standards strange to him pushed him on a path of self-destruction" and "although the machine is not the answer to Achilles' problems, it's the magical vehicle that gives the kid the strength to face the world and search for what he needs. Similar to a magical kiss that breaks a spell, there's real love in fairytales, so why there's wouldn't be real hope for us and our bodies?"

It's the closest I've ever been to explaining why I am agender. Where the concept should be, there is a void I don't know how to dive in. I am more than my body, my body is mine, I like my body, but it is not all there is. How do I feel?

I'm Achilles. I'm not sure there is a name for what I am or a term that can describe me (it's my first time living, you know). For now, I just want to fly in this sky and burn.

[tribbleaaa]

So, you know how a gold-plated necklace and a pure gold necklace are both functionally gold necklaces, but if melted down you’d have to separate the gold on the gold-plated necklace from another alloy so it’s a bit difficult, but the pure gold one would just be gold?

I’m woman plated.

[mosscoveredc4t]

Afab nb/gnc trans man culture is wanting to wear lacy things and cute dresses w pockets but being afraid to bc you’ll be seen as a woman :(

[little-batty-boo-boo]

i never really *got* what people were talking about when they’d talk about being trans, so I assumed I was cis because my gender wasn’t something I was conscious of

Except then I realized cis people understood The Gender and I still didn’t

and then FINALLY I realized I was agender and everything made sense 

[tribbleaaa]

I vibe with agender as an identity bc I don't think I've ever genuinely viewed myself in a gendered way. I was always just me. To me gender neutral terms were always just that, neutral. Why should I care if I'm refered to by my gender or not? It's not like it matters?

Only now I know that to some people it very much matters. I just can't imagine having that strong a sense of self; which is why I like agender- or without gender- as opposed to non-binary or neutrois. Like yeah I'm gender neutral but that's because there's nothing there to have an opinion on.

(Gender void stuff is also cool as hell. You're right! Why should I have a physical form? Wack!)