Clubhouse Meltdown
The Trio of Trouble - Chibs, Tig, Happy x female reader (platonic)
Word Count: 2,600 Summary: The unbearable summer heat wave in Charming leads to the guys spending the day with you, what could possibly go wrong? Warnings: strong sexual references (no smut), cursing, alcohol, Tig being a menace to society
(I know it’s basically October but I live in California and it’s hot as hell bruh, humor me please.)
Mini Series Companion: New Club Member
You deeply regret having given copies of your house keys to Tig, Chibs, and Happy.
“For emergencies”, they had said.
Yeah, and apparently empty stomachs were considered emergencies for them. You had thought you were going insane when things started getting misplaced or you would spot things that weren’t there when you had left earlier in the day.
You compile a long list of groceries and are out the door in a matter of minutes. You really didn’t want to leave the house at all today. Charming is going through a terrible heat wave, and even five minutes outside in the shade leaves you slick with sweat.
The cashier at the grocery store gives you a curious look at the huge amount of groceries you had gotten, making you cringe on the inside.
In your mind, you think of how to ask the club for a check to make up for the apparent expenses that come with being a friend of theirs.
You leave the store and struggle to load all of the heavy bags into your car. Finally, you’re on your way back home. Pulling into your driveway, you curse as you see the guys sitting on your porch, drinking beers.
Damn it all to hell.
You turn off your car and step out, Tig immediately walking over and greeting you. The sight of him and the feeling of the immense heat quickly puts you in a bad mood for whatever shenanigans you’re sure they’re going to pull.
Especially Tig. He's a real charity case.
“Hey, doll. Where you been? We missed you.” he kisses your cheek.
“How long have you been out here?” you question.
His heavy arm around your shoulders makes you pull away quickly from the excess body heat he radiates.
“About half an hour. It’s hot as hell. But we wanted to wait out here for you instead of barging in.”
Something inside of you snaps.
You frown, “You eat me out of house and home, but asking me first to go inside to cool off is where you draw the line?”
“Woah, woah! That’s Tiggy’s business!” Chibs yells out in defense from his seat on the stairs.
“I’ve never come over if you’re not here.” Happy says, shrugging.
Tig glances nervously down at you, shrugging his shoulders and sipping his beer.
“What? Your cooking is fucking incredible, doll.” he grins.
“I’m not your mother! I have to feed myself too, you know! I had to go grocery shopping again because of you! And the last thing I want is to be out here instead of laying on my couch!” you snap.
He tuts at you, hugging you into his side.
“Awe, sorry doll. We’ll help you out with that.” he drawls.
You sigh heavily as he releases you and walks over to your car and starts carrying bags. You walk to your door, ignoring Chibs and Happy. You open it and immediately turn on the air conditioning, sighing in relief.
Before you know it, they have brought in all of your groceries and even offered to put them away. Well, probably just hidden them. You expect to find misplaced groceries later on.
They situate themselves on your couch, making you narrow your eyes at them.
“None of you work today?” you suddenly think to ask.
“Hell no.” Happy says.
“The guys got it covered.” Tig grumbles.
“And why aren’t you at the clubhouse?” you ask suspiciously.
There's a moment of silence that confirms your suspicions.
“AC broke. Isn’t getting fixed until tomorrow. Clubhouse is a fucking oven right now. My balls are not having fun.” Tig shakes his head of curls.
He gestures to his crotch for, in your opinion, unnecessary and unwanted emphasis.
“And the next best place was here. You knew I’d let you in.” you conclude, rolling your eyes at them and crossing your arms.
“Somethin’ like that. Thank ye in advance, love.” Chibs grins, winking.
You palm your face, walking back into the kitchen.
“I got these for you. Was planning on going to the clubhouse later, but I guess the clubhouse came to me instead. You're already done with the twelve pack you brought?"
You grab the six pack of beers you just bought for them and place on the coffee table. Tig reaches out and you slap his hand, making him frown up at you.
“You’ve been the little freeloader all this time and you expect me to cater to you still?” you ask.
He looks genuinely offended and on the verge of tears.
“But doll, come on-“
You point your finger at him.
“You’re like a little rat coming and eating everything.”
Chibs and Happy chuckle, clinking their bottles together. Tig glares at them.
“Too bad they don’t sell Tig traps.” Happy says.
“At least wash your dishes after, jesus.” you mumble, walking away.
You begin sorting ingredients from the fridge to start dinner. Suddenly, you hear loud banging noises before the guys start protesting. You walk back into the living room to see Tig kneeled in front of the AC, slamming it with his palm.
“Please, no! Please!” he yells out.
The AC makes noise one final time before going clicking silent.
“Oh for fucks sake.” you grumble.
“I’m going to die! I’m going to die of a heat stroke! My balls are going to explode!”
Tig sinks down against the wall, landing on the floor with a loud thud.
“I don’t know what’s worse, the heat or being stuck with Tig.” you muse.
“Oh, I know what’s worse.” Chibs grumbles, drinking his beer.
“Yeah, the heat doesn’t talk.” Happy says.
After only ten minutes of them inspecting the AC, the heat inside of the house is unbearable.
“Okay guys, they do say that distracting yourself from the heat is best. I mean, it isn’t the heat that’s the worst part, in reality. It’s the time. We just have to keep ourselves distracted for enough time until it cools down when the sun sets.”
They all look at you in silence with curious eyes.
“What? Do any of you have a better idea?” you question.
They look amongst themselves, shrugging.
“So what now?” Tig asks.
“Um, oh I have cards? Do you guys know any card games?”
You start to walk down the hall.
“Did she just ask if we know card games?” Happy asks, frowning.
“Yeah.” Chibs grumbles.
“Do you even know us?” Tig asks in disgust.
In a few moments, you’re all outside sitting in the shade with the cards laid out.
“Okay, I literally don’t know how to play anything, so you’re going to have to teach me.” you warn.
“Don’t worry doll, you’re in good hands. I’ve been told I’m a great visual teacher.”
He wiggles his eyebrows at you, his hands expertly shuffling the stack.
“And that’s why ye aren’t allowed near schools, Tiggy.” Chibs says.
You all laugh except for Tig, who just mumbles and motions for you to start in annoyance. After what seems like eternity, you have played different games and learned a lot. Both about the games and the guys as well, who have shown their competitive sides for the first time to you.
“Yer lucky we aren’t bettin’ Tiggy, I would have kicked yer arse so bad I would own ye.” Chibs gloats.
“Yeah yeah, keep laughing. Why don’t you really play now?” Tig taunts.
“We all know how delicate yer ego is, Tiggy.” Chibs reminds him.
“Yeah, a girl kicked your ass and you couldn’t stop whining on that trip.” Happy teases.
“She had a good right hook, man!”
Tig frowns and leans back, glaring at Happy.
“Whatever, that happened so long ago.” he mumbles, waving his hand around.
“It wasn’t that long ago, and you made that trip miserable. Were you mad because she was a girl or because she didn’t end up having sex with you?” you ask innocently.
He glares at you, “You’re all assholes.”
“How long did you have that scar on your head again?” you ask nonchalantly.
“Fuck you, man.” he snaps.
You all laugh, your fingers running over your cards.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Suddenly, Tig perks up.
“Do you hear that?” he asks.
“What? Is she coming back for you?” you tease.
“No! I think it’s an ice cream truck.” he snaps.
Suddenly, you all hear it clearly. You all bounce up from your seats and spot the ice cream truck barreling by the house, going at a quick speed.
“Hey, asshole!” Tig yells, starting to run.
The rest of you don’t hesitate, running after him as well. The summer sun beats down on you as you run, your breaths feeling heavy from the stifling hot air. You start laughing, turning back to look at Chibs and Happy behind you, who are laughing as well. You turn and see Tig barely reaching the truck, slamming his hands on the side. It slows to a stop, and all of you stop as well. You’re all out of breath, bending over and wheezing.
“I’m too old for this shite.” Chibs mumbles.
Happy is the only one who looks relatively okay. Tig on the other hand, is breathing heavily against the truck and has his face leaning against his arms.
Once you all recuperate, you order and walk back to the house. Tig is moaning dramatically as he licks his cone, frowning over at you as you stare at him.
“What?” he mumbles.
His confused look turns to a smirk.
“Like what you see, doll? There’s more where these skills came from, you know.” he grins.
“Alex! Get your mind out of the gutter!” you reprimand.
You shove his arm, making him stumble to the side.
“I think it’s physically impossible for him.” Happy says.
“Yeah, Tiggy’s too fucked in the head. Lost cause, love.” Chibs agrees.
“Hey! You say that like I’m some creep!” Tig argues.
“You are!” you all respond in unison.
He grumbles, walking away quickly from all of you. Eventually, you all sit on your porch and eat your ice cream in silence.
“Reminds me of when I was a wee one.” says Chibs.
“Yeah, running after the ice cream truck.” you say.
“Yeah, the other kids and me would run after it and throw rocks. Then the biggest kid would open the back door and get in and kick the shit out of the guy. Used to hide the ice cream we jacked in my folks' fridge in the garage. Never got caught.” Tig smiles, a distant but content look in his eyes.
The rest of you look at Tig with a frown. He breaks out of his trance and his eyes slowly glance over all of you.
“What?” he asks.
“What is wrong with you?” Happy asks.
“What? I was a kid, you know, doing kid shit.” Tig defends.
“I don’t think that’s normal kid shit, you psychopath.” you say.
“Well, that was normal for me.”
“So what wasn’t normal?” you ask, fearing his response.
“I don’t know, hugs?”
“That explains a lot.” you say, making Chibs and Happy nod.
A few minutes pass in the heat before Tig breaks it.
“This is stupid. The sun isn’t even going down soon. I’m bored and hot.” Tig complains.
“I don’t even know how you guys are still in jeans.” you wonder.
“You still have that old inflatable pool?” Happy asks.
“The one from last year? Yeah. Why?”
“I can go get some ice and we can fill it up.” he suggests.
“Fuck yes! I’m dying!” Tig whines.
Happy rolls his eyes and you nod your acceptance to his proposal.
“Chibs, I’ll go with him. You can get the pool out. It's in the garage. Tig, you-”
You look at his slumped form on the seat. With his wild curls all around him and his wide eyes looking up at you, you suddenly see how he manages to draw in so many unsuspecting women. But having known him for so long, you know better than to let those curls and blue eyes fool you.
“Just stay here, drama king.” you grumble.
Happy and you go to the nearest liquor store, finding the ice you need. You pay and go back home, both of you carrying the ice to the backyard over your shoulders. You stop in your tracks when you see Chibs and Tig stripped down to their underwear.
“What? I’m not getting my clothes wet! You want me naked instead?” Tig asks.
“Please no! Anything but that!” you plead.
You fill the pool up with water and Happy dumps the ice in. You go inside and change into swim shorts and a bikini top, joining them once you're done.
One by one, the guys all climb in and end up laying side by side in the pool. Somehow, they all squish together and end up fitting. Although they look a little uncomfortable, you notice they are tolerating the mild discomfort for the cold relief.
“Come on, love. Are ye just goin' to stand there?” Chibs asks.
“Don't rush me."
“Come on, doll. We’re all family here.” Tig says.
“Yeah, I’m sure you have a fantasy or two about that.” you grumble uneasily.
“You’re lucky you’re not my stepsister then.” Tig laughs.
Happy and Chibs glare at him, silencing him.
“Come on, love.” Chibs encourages.
“Alright.” you concede.
You stand by the pool and start to lean down, hissing and shivering as the cold water hits your skin.
“Better?” Chibs asks.
“Very.” you sigh.
They start drinking beer and trying their best to make you feel comfortable. After a while, you feel Tig’s eyes on you.
“What?” you snap, looking at him.
“Nothing. I can’t look?”
“Not right now, no.”
After a few moments, Tig starts laughing. You sigh in annoyance.
“What now?” you grumble.
“We’re all in the pool together.” he chuckles.
All three of you look at him like he’s grown a second head.
“And?” you snap.
“And we’re in our underwear. Which means our balls are all in the same water.” Tig giggles.
Happy and Chibs yell out, shoving Tig roughly. Your body gets jostled slightly.
“Please don’t remind me of that right now. I’m totally taking a shower after this.” you groan.
“I just realized that I could literally make my dick into a popsicle right now.” Tig says.
“Can you please stop talking about your penis?” you yell out.
“Tiggy, I don’t want to hear about ye getting a hard on when I’m right next to ye.” Chibs groans.
Eventually, the sun starts to set, but none of you make an effort to stand.
“I had fun today. Surprisingly.” you mumble, looking up at the pink and orange sky.
A fresh breeze hits you, making you shiver and sigh in content.
“This is the weirdest pool party I’ve ever been to.” Happy says.
You smile.
“I had fun, too. But I think I-“
“Shut up.” Happy glares at Tig, silencing him.
“I dunno about ye, but I could go for a barbecue right about now.” Chibs groans.
“Sounds good. Hot dogs and burgers.” you agree.
You all stare up at the sky in comfortable silence.
“Well, I’ve got your hot dog right here.” Tig says.
You all yell out in protest before standing up and leaving the pool, leaving Tig alone and apologizing. This is only the beginning of summer, and you are scared to see what the future brings.
