ALL ALONG - bsf ellie x reader
CH 1
Hi! This is my first ever post/work on Tumblr - honestly have no idea how to work it or make the posts cute (I’ll learn lol) so any tips/advice is welcome (PLZ)!!
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SYNOPSIS - You and Ellie had been friends since the minute you set foot in the little town of Jackson. You two just clicked. She knew everything about you, and you knew everything about her. But like anyone, of course, there are some things no one could know. Some things you didn’t even know about yourself - like why your heart raced every time Ellie got close, or your fingers burned with rage at the sight of Ellie with another girl.
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CHAPTER 1 - AGAIN? WC: 3.2k
"See you tomorrow!" Jesse called out as he split from your side and started walking in the opposite direction towards his house.
You gestured him off with a polite wave of the hand, too tired to verbally acknowledge him - the day of dodging infected and trudging through abandoned buildings took a real toll on you.
Eventually, your body made it to your front door, a victory given you felt like every muscle in your body was on the verge of disintegrating with every step taken.
The wooden front door opened with its usual creak - the inviting nature of your home sending warmth and comfort over you, a drastic difference from the abandoned houses you and Jesse patrolled all day.
Not bothering to put your bag and shoes away neatly, like you usually do, you kicked both off and let them fall to the ground - you'd deal with it after a good shower and nap. Frankly, all you fucking wanted was a shower. The infected's blood and dirt that accumulated to form a new layer of skin desperately needed to be washed off.
Making your way from the entryway to the bathroom, which was tucked just off of the living room, you jumped. Not because there was anything scary or spooky. No, as usual, your bestfriend Ellie was perched on your couch - sprawled out like it belonged to her.
"Jesus - have you been here all day? You have your own house you know" you said with feigned annoyance, but the smile that crept on your face said otherwise.
"Yeah but Joel's there. You have a whole house to yourself - be a shame to have it empty all day" she motioned out to the space as she sat up from her lying down position
You rolled your eyes with a laugh as you sat down next to her, letting out a deep exhale at the feeling of the soft cushions beneath you, sinking back into the comfort and normalcy that being home (and Ellie's presence) brought.
"Good patrol?" she questioned as she turned to face you
"Yeah - cleared a bunch of houses on top of the hill. Killed a few runners. The usual" You explained with a nonchalant shrug, like killing zombies was a totally normal everyday occurance. "But I need to fucking shower so so bad"
"I mean I wasn't gonna say anything but" Ellie trailed as she plugged her nose and eyed you up and down.
"Fuck off" you laughed as you playfully hit her arm "are you gonna stick around here?" you questioned as you peeled yourself off the couch
"No, I gotta go home and get ready for later. You are coming right?" she quipped.
"Fuck I totally forgot" you said as you placed my hands over your face "You think Dina would be mad if I bailed?" You asked as you peered your eyes out from between your fingers.
"No come on, you have to come!" she urged "You bailed last time and made me go to a party all by myself. It was hell."
"Fine, fine. Whatever" You hesitantly agreed as you slumped over in defeat "Just come back over when you're done getting ready?"
"Always" she assured - Ellie and you always got ready together for parties, it was like an unspoken rule of your friendship, especially if she was the one dragging you somewhere. "Now go shower you stink" she laughed as she got up and collected her things
"Shut up before I change my mind," You retorted back, which earned a laugh from Ellie as she mumbled something you couldn't quite catch under her breath and left through your front door.
You made a beeline for the bathroom, not wanting to go another minute feeling dirty, and turned on the shower as hot as it would go, which was honestly lukewarm at best, but still better than nothing.
The constant stream of water hummed over you and washed away the dirt and blood that accumulated throughout the day. It soothed your tired muscles and almost made you feel like a person again. After washing your hair and body with the lavender soap Maria gifted to you the other week, you stayed under the water, soaking in the relaxation as much as you could. It was only when the water ran cold that you were forced to get out, drying yourself off with a scratchy towel.
You combed through your hair as best as you could- the blood and dirt that previously stained the hair created tangles that your comb kept snagging on, but eventually, after a couple good passes, it was back to its soft and shiny norm. You slathered on as much lotion as I could, another gift from Maria, which felt nice as the Jackson summer sun had utterly dried the hell out of your skin.
After finishing up in the bathroom, you decided you should probably get dressed for Dina's party, if you could even call it that. It was more of a glorified hangout with your friends, plus alcohol or weed if anyone scrounged them up on patrol.
You didn't feel like putting any effort into your appearance, given you really did not wanna go, so you opted for a simple white tank top and lightwash jeans that Dina cut into shorts for you, along with a flannel you had stolen from Ellie in case the summer night got chilly.
Right on cue, you heard the front door open and Ellie call out to announce her arrival. You shouted an "In here" to let her know that you were in your room, even though she probably would've figured that out anyway.
"Dude, you have my fucking flannel? I thought I lost it!" she huffed as she came into your room and plopped down on the bed
"Sorry" you hummed out as you applied a coat of mascara to your eyelashes. "Want it back?"
"Nah, keep it" she shrugged as she made herself comfortable, "looks better on you than me"
You felt the feeling of butterflies creep into your stomach at her compliment. It was a feeling that happened often. More often in the last couple of years. But every time you felt it, you choked it up to nothing and pushed it aside.
"Thanks" you offered as you tried to stop the blush that was spreading across your cheeks. With one final swipe of lip gloss, you were done with your makeup look and plopped down on the bed next to Ellie.
"Uh oh - no. Ger your ass up. If you lay down you're not gonna get up. Come on" she urged as she pulled your arm to make you sit upright.
"Like five minutes. Just five minutes please" You begged as you threw yourself down on the bed and dramatically covered your face with a pillow.
Ellie laughed at your desperate attempt to get out of going, pulling the pillow away and throwing it across the room. "No way. We're already late. 's gonna be fun!"
"Ugh" you groaned as loud as you could to really get your disdain across. "Why are you even excited to go - you hate these things more than I do?" you offered as you pulled yourself out of bed and started to slip on your shoes.
"No reason" she said softly as her hand went to rub the back of her neck. Rubbing her neck was her tell.
"Uh no, spill" you demanded, knowing there was more to it "You're dragging me here, so tell me"
"Kat might be there," she shyly admitted
Right. Kat, her on-and-off ex-girlfriend. The one that gave her the tattoo on her forearm that I love. The one that has broken her heart more times than I can count just to come crawling back. The one who keeps Ellie all to herself.
"Ellie - really?" You pressed, trying your hardest to make your voice sound unedged, as you finished lacing up your shoe, "Are you guys a thing again?"
"I don't know, maybe - why do you care? You jealous?" she trailed with a smirk, kicking me with her foot
"No i'm not jealous," You said back defensively "I just don't think she's good for you. She's broken your heart how many times now?"
"I know" she sighed, "but we talked the other day, and it seemed different. Like she was serious this time," she said naively
"and she wasn't before?" You breathed out with a dry chuckle
"Fuck - can we just drop it?" she huffed out "Didn't know I'd get a fucking lecture"
"Fine, fine -it's dropped" You grumbled back "Let's go before I change my mind"
With a satisfied smirk, Ellie led the way out of the house and on the road to Dina's house, which wasn't far from yours, just a few blocks over. Along the way, Ellie and your's conversations drifted back into the norm - filled with recounting of your patrol and bets on whether Dina and Jesse would be together tonight or not.
As you entered the house, echoes of voices filled your ears and the faint smell of weed was wafting through the air. Someone must've gotten lucky on patrol.
"Wow, look who made it!" Jesse chirped out from the couch with his arm draped around Dina.
"You owe me a cigarette," You snidely said under your breath to Ellie, who was now pouting that she lost the bet.
"Yes, yes I'm here" you said with an eye roll as you made your way over to greet Dina and Jesse, joining them on the couch.
"She's here thanks to me," Ellie added as she took a seat next to you on the couch
"Wouldn't blame you - I was about to bail, but Dina convinced me" Jesse shrugged, which earned him a nudge from Dina's shoulder.
"So uh, who scored the weed?" You asked, hoping someone would fucking offer you a hit
"That would be me," Dina said proudly as she pulled out a joint from her pocket "found a fucking bunker of it earlier this week"
"No fucking way" Ellie gasped as she snatched the joint from Dina's hand, inspecting it and holding it up to her nose "Smells good"
You grabbed it from Ellie's hand and put it between your lips as you reached for the lighter on the coffee table. You lit it carefully, making sure to keep the flame even so it wouldn't burn wonky. After taking a long inhale, you passed the joint over to Ellie, who took it happily.
You exhaled with a slight cough, given it had been a while since you had the pleasure of smoking. The substance instantly helped the ache in your muscles and made your brain quiet down, which is exactly what you needed.
After passing around the joint until it was nothing but a burning ember, or a roach as Dina called it, everyone decided it was time to drink.
"Anyone on patrol tomorrow?" Jesse asked as he reached for the clear bottle on the coffee table and started pouring shots out in little mismatched shot glasses you all had collected on different patrols - there was a few from Jackson, one from Montana, and your favorite: one with obscenely huge drawn-on tits from San Diego.
"I am!" a voice chimed out from the front entryway. Kat.
"Oh hey, Kat" Jesse greeted, while you, on the other hand, couldn't control your eye roll at her appearance.
In an instant, Ellie's presence at your side vanished. She rushed up to the tattooed girl, practically drooling over her, and glued herself to Kat's side, which is no doubt where she'd be stuck for the rest of the night.
"Gimme that," you said to Jesse as you snatched the Miami shot glass from his hands. You quickly threw the shot back, inviting the burn that came along with it.
"Jesus, patrol wasn't that bad" he laughed as he watched you grimace from the bitter residual taste of the alcohol.
"'s not about patrol," Dina whispered over to him, pointing her eyes over to Ellie and Kat, who were now cozied up in the corner.
"Oh. Ohhh" he said, realizing, "they're back together?"
"Guess so" you said with a shrug, trying your best to remain chill and collected and not like the idea of Ellie and Kat together made you wanna rip your hair out.
"'s just a bad idea" Dina added as she took her shot, wincing at the taste "I give it two weeks. A month tops"
"Yeah, let's hope" you murmured under your breath as you poured yourself another shot, and one for Ellie.
You brought the shot over to Ellie, physically forcing your face to not show your disgust at the pair practically drooling over each other even though they literally just got back together.
"Shot?" You questioned as you graciously held the glass out to the freckled girl.
"Oh no, I'm good, thanks," she said, brushing you off and refocusing her attention towards Kat.
Your mouth hung open for a second at her dismissal, but she always fucking got like this when she had a girlfriend. You shut my mouth and turned away on your heels, taking the shot for yourself as you went back over to Jesse and Dina, making eyes at them on your way over.
"Ouch" Jesse winced as you sat next to him, obviously referring to the interaction he just witnessed.
"Shut up" you muttered with a tight lip as you nudged his shoulder with yours. He mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.
"We should play a game" Dina offered excitingly in an attempt to switch the topic
"Like what?" You questioned, your attention perked at the thought of a distraction
"Uhm I don't know. Never have I ever?" she suggested, looking around for approval.
You and Jesse nodded while Ellie and Kat were on their own planet, totally tuned out and not at all listening to anyone but each other.
"Stop macking were playing Never Have I Ever," Dina yelled out to the two, grabbing their attention.
Eventually, everyone circled around the coffee table, sitting in chairs or couches we pulled in.
"Okay, I'll start" Dina said as she raised her hand up, extending her five fingers. "Never have I ever gotten a tattoo"
"'s not fair" Ellie grumbled as she, and Kat, both put their fingers down.
"Alright, never have I ever lost my gun on patrol," Ellie spoke, causing Jesse to put his finger down.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It was one time!" he groaned before starting his turn "Never have I ever gotten so drunk I had to be carried home"
To that one, Dina and you both put your fingers down.
"Okay" you spoke, trying to hush your laughter that came as a result of the memory of your drunken escapades. "Never have I ever had sex with a man," - which made Dina put her finger down.
"Fuck, really? That's targeted," she gasped with a laugh as no one else put their fingers down. "Okay, never have I ever had sex while on patrol"
Ellie, Kat, and you all put our fingers down.
"You and Jesse, really, never?" you pressed at Dina, shooting her a questioning look
"Nope. Jesse takes patrol way too seriously. If only he would lighten up..." Dina chirped while side-eyeing Jesse "Now who the hell did you sleep with?" she redirected towards you
"Remember that girl who was here for like a summer and then left? Fuck what was her name" You spoke, trying to remember any information of the girl
"Max" Ellie interjected quickly as she casted her eyes down
"Yes, Max!" You exclaimed, "wasn't any good though"
After a couple more rounds, Dina and you both had one finger left up while the rest still had some left to put down.
"Okay, okay" Ellie said. "Never have I ever had a wet dream"
Begrudgingly, you put my finger down, making you the loser. "Ellie, that was supposed to be private" you whisper-shouted through gritted teeth. You caught Kat look over to Ellie, and then to you, with a nasty look on her face.
"You could've not put a finger down!" she justified
"Yeah, but then I would be a cheater," you huffed
"Loser takes a shot!" Dina exclaimed as she handed you the bottle, which you happily grabbed and took a big swig out of.
Following the game, everyone mellowed out a bit, letting the effects of the weed and alcohol take over. Jesse and Dina were making out on the edge of the couch while Kat and Ellie were back in their love bubble in the corner. Gag.
You didn't feel like being surrounded by all of that, so you headed outside to get some fresh air and a smoke. You took a seat on the front porch stoop and draped Ellie's flannel across your shoulders to shield them from the brisk summer breeze.
From of your pocket you pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. Internally, you thanked whoever in Jackson kept up with tobacco production.
You heard the front door creak open behind you, and turned around to see who would be joining you.
"Hey" Ellie hummed as she took a seat next to you. Without words, you handed her the cigarette, which she accepted. "Sorry about what I said during the game. I didn't mean to air your shit out like that"
You let out a chuckle "Please, it's fine. I really don't care," you assured.
"Okay, good. You just seemed a little mad or something," she softly added as she took an inhale of the cigarette
"I'm good Els" you cooed as you accepted the cigertte back "Did you wanna spend the night still?" You asked trying to get a gauge on plans for the night.
"Uhm, yeah," she said hesitantly as she toyed with the loose strings of her converse.
"If you wanna go to Kat's 's fine" You mumbled, taking another inhale before ashing it on the ground
"No, we had plans and everything," she rushed out
"Ellie, seriously don't worry about it. I'm probably just gonna crash anyway"
"I'm gonna head home, will you tell everyone I said bye?" You asked as I got up from the stoop. You figured you had been there long enough and all you really wanted still was to sleep in your bed.
"You're drunk, let me walk you back," Ellie insisted as she already began standing up
"It's like three blocks away and we're in a guarded town. I'm good Ellie; go back inside" you insisted, shooing her inside.
Ellie nodded hesitantly and wished you to get home safe before going back into Dina's. You started walking once you heard the front door close behind her and the echoes of your friend's voices stop.
On your walk back, everything caught up to you. The long patrol, the weed, the shots. The images of Kat and Ellie burned into your skull. You felt sick. Quickly, you curled over and threw up into the bushes lining your front yard.
"Fuck" you groaned as you used your hand to wipe your mouth before stumbling the rest of the way inside.
You flicked on the lights and headed to the bathroom, discarding your clothing as you went, letting them clutter the floor. After cleaning yourself up and brushing your teeth, you finally got what you wanted - no needed. Your bed. You were so tired your brain didn't even have a chance to think about the day, or Ellie, before you fell asleep.
