DS9 Rewatch: S01 E10 - Move Along Home
ALLAMARAINE BITCH!
So I’ve lost drafts of this post twice - I’m going to blame it on long virus and now the flu. Also, wtf flu? I spent nearly 24 hours feeling like every single segment of my body was sausages - burning hot and swollen enough to burst out of the skin. Get vaccinated.
So before I get MST3K in my lovemaking with this episode, real quick. I’ve lived in LA for 12 years, been in production for 7. Something went wrong on this episode. Shit like this just happens sometimes. Sometimes one person does a big fuckup, most of the time it’s lots of little fuckups. Sometimes communication in the pipeline breaks down, the director has food poisoning, scenes get shot without blocking or run through, everyone ran out of budget bc they spent it on forehead makeup, editing is rushed, you get the footage back and an important shot needs to be cropped way too close and with crap composition, your actors Can’t Believe This Shit, and someone makes the decision to shoot up from below ground level. With affection, I’m not shitting on anyone involved in this episode. Literally all of the cast and crew did other episodes or movies that kicked ass. I double checked.
So i LOVEEEE this episode. Crystal Maze sets in gorgeous 90s patterns that WILL be reused in season 2? Yes. The SINGLE QUEEREST THING BASHIR HAS EVER DONE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES AND THIS IS BASHIR WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SO HOLY SHIT? Yes. Kira screaming that she’s an administrator, not a LARPer? Yes. Quark absolutely eating the table he’s crawling under? Yes. Every single one of the extras slaughtering it with their expressions? Yes. Those stupid sticks not being clacked in unison? Yes. Sisko singing in a surprisingly high octave but still having a creat voice? Yes. Kira’s ‘I can’t fucking believe this’ hopscotch salute? Love it. Love it all.
THIS GUY
THIS FUCKING GUY
This Obelix-ass motherfucker. This is a man who knows exactly what to do with a camera. This is a man who commits to a bit. This man was PUSHING 50 when he played Falow - he looks like he’s a 30 year old white man who has lived in LA for a decade. Good god, Star Trek slept on this man. He should have been cast as like 14 random other aliens, Neelix and Jake’s first shitty boss at the newspaper.
ALSO: this guy!!
The best dialogue in the whole episode had this guy in it! It is another crime that we only got 2 episodes of DS9 with this guy in it. Way more interesting that the banjoran in engineering who tried to kill Bariel at the end of this season. I can;t believe that the next biggest thing on his resume is Howard the Duck.
I’m off to screen print a bunch of ALLAMARAINE t shits now. Byeeeeeee.
