Wherein Guy-Man is a total badass who punches the ninja sidekick 6 feet away because he’s a badass cyborg, Thomas doesn’t give a duck and Paul up the ante because he IS a badass!! :D
(Brief Synopsis: Laurent Brancowitz, the new President of France has been kidnapped by evil aliens trying to take over the world with robot dragons, space radiation zombies and possibly evil ninjas. So it’s up to a group of magically badass DJs to rescue him! Which include our robot/cyborg bois, Pharrell who has a robot power loader mech suit, the hilarious ninja chick with the stupid accent, and Paul, who has a motorcyle now! So they all have to test their leet skills to find out of they can beat this threat!! Who wins?) :D *Hums Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting*
Thomas paused, studying the others.
Paul and Pharrell began to advance, but Thomas' gaze moved over to Phoebe, who was standing at the back, unmoving.
She stood still with her eyes closed, as though waiting for something.
"She's using the other two as a decoy." Thomas announced to Guy-Man, who nodded.
"Yeah, I know." he agreed.
Then Phoebe pulled out a whole load of knives/shuriken and spun round, flinging them over at Thomas and Guy-Man.
Thomas wisely decided to step back behind Guy-Man, who looked on indifferently as the volley of knives came hurtling straight towards him. Promising a painful bloody death of a thousand cuts.
(Guy-Man: "Newsflash. I don't care.")
Sighing to himself as though he had expected something more impressive than this, Guy-man causally raised his Bo, twirling it around himself rapidly.
Knives rained down to the floor, littering the floor all around them.
Paul and Pharrell could only look on in astonishment, amazed Phoebe's attack had been so easily deflected.
Phoebe herself, meanwhile, gritted her teeth in frustration. Then, abandoning all pretence, she charged forward towards the duo at the far end of the room.
"Uh, Phoebe?!" Pharrell stammered as she raced past them both.
"We have to back her up." He reminded Paul as they both drew their weapons.
Phoebe charged straight towards Guy-Man, who hadn't moved, and seemed to be waiting for her patiently.
Phoebe raised her arm and aimed a punch straight at his head. Guy-man dodged rather smoothly and slid back into place as Phoebe tried again.
She continued her attack, punching Guy-Man with all her strength. (cue Fist Of The North Star references.)
Guy-Man simply dodged everything she had, ducking his head out of the way each time Phoebe threw a punch at him. His superior reflexes and knowledge of her skills certainly helped.
Growing increasingly frustrated, Phoebe growled and swung her left leg up at him, trying to connect a roundhouse kick into Guy-Man's head.
But Guy-Man stopped her kick by simply raising his hand to protect his face.
The two stood there for a few moments, frozen. Phoebe glared up at Guy-Man with frustrated rage, Guy-Man simply looked impassive. He paused to light up a cigarette with his free hand.
"Are we done here?" He asked her scathingly.
Phoebe lowered her leg, still glaring. "Not yet." She replied defiantly, getting back into stance.
Guy-Man paused to exhale a cloud of smoke. "Then it's my turn." he replied.
Then Guy-Man began to hit out at her almost as fast as she had.
Phoebe blocks as best she can, before Guy-Man summoned his lightning aura and threw a punch at Phoebe, his arm crackling with electricity.
But Phoebe managed to grab hold of his wrist, inches from connecting with her chest.
As the others looked on in astonishment, Thomas stood at the back looking on in mild disinterest. "Hm. Well, that escalated quickly." He noted to himself matter-of-factly.
Phoebe strained against Guy-Man, trying to push him away. Sparks and motes of electricity crackled and snapped into the air, inches from burning their skin.
The two strained against each other for a while, before Guy-Man decided to take Phoebe out of the fight and show her how powerful he really was.
Phoebe looked down in surprise to see Guy-Man suddenly open his hand, palm out towards her.
As she watched, a huge orb of amassed chi and electricity began to grow out from Guy-Man's palm, as he channelled his Chi through his arm and out through his hand.
There was a sudden flash of light, which caused both Pharrell and Paul to cover their eyes as they were momentarily blinded.
Phoebe cried out as Guy-Man's Chi sphere smashed into her chest, sending her flying backwards several feet away.
She slammed back onto the floor rather heavily, smoke rising from the place where she had been hit. Phoebe could only lay on the floor, groaning and clutching her chest.
Pharrell immediately ran over to kneel beside her and help her up.
"Oh, man!! Phoebe, are you okay?" He asked her anxiously.
Phoebe sat up, clutching her chest and glaring angrily at the duo at the other end of the room. "Ugh.... Yeah, considering..." She muttered.
Pharrell suddenly looked up as Paul suddenly stepped out in front of them. (Insert guitar riff.) (Paul: “I’m here now, bitches!!”) :D
"Paul?" Pharrell asked in confusion.
Paul stood, defiantly staring down Thomas and Guy-Man standing before him.
He paused, before he reached into his motorcycle jacket and pulled out his chain.
(Auth. Note: Paul is still wearing his cool arse motorcycle leathers. Because Paul is best OP character.)
He drew it out deliberately, to show Thomas and Guy-Man he was ready to fight.
Paul deliberately let the rest of the chain clatter loudly to the floor, its metallic ring reverberating through the room.
(Insert Slide Whistle here.)
Phoebe inexplicably managed to stand up and went to join Paul. "Don't worry, I'll help." She replied.
(Phoebe: "Hey guys, I'm okay now!! I got punched in the chest with a ball of lighting, got blasted several feet away and I punctured a lung, but I'm alive somehow!! :D)
Pharrell, meanwhile, looked very confused. Due to the fact that not two seconds previously Phoebe had been lying stunned on the floor beside him.
Today I've blitzed the house to try and keep on top of the constant dust. Steve's busy working under the floor getting supports in for the new floor. The lads have pretty much done with the new roof, they'll finish up next week. I've not had a lot of time to knit but finally started on flip-top mitten number two. Actually starting to enjoy knitting in the round now. Hopefully this one won't take as long. Pattern calls for stitches over 4 needles but I find it much easier over 3.....less like doing battle with an octopus 🐙 At least I will know how to knit bits to cover our outer bits in the future.
Because you all didn't get enough of my insanity already.
Look, this is totally gonna be a thing, you guys.
Thomas: "We're in space!! Also we can fly, for some reason!"
Guy-Man: (obviously smoking a cigarette. In space.)
"It's because we have super magical robot powers now because we're also cyborgs and magic and it let's us fly and shoot lightning out of our hands." (Folds his arms and is badass.)
Thomas: "That's right! We're having fun today! But you know what's not fun? Aliens and alien robot dragons!"
(Appreance of said alien robot space dragon. Which was built by aliens. And is a dragon. In space.)
Pharrell: "Yo, I'm here too guys! Check out MY robot space dragon!!" :D
(Guy-Man punches the evil robot dragon in the face.)
"KABOOM!!"
Thomas: "Well, that's that taken care of! Let's get back to Earth!!"
Laurent: "I'm the President of France now, for some reason! You're guess is as good as mine!" :D
Meanwhile:
Pedro: "I'm a ninja now, for some reason and I have a secret ninja school! There's no way anything bad will happen!"
Phoebe: "I'm also here and I'm the one with the silly accent and kickass ninja skills!"
(Suddenly, EVIL NINJAS!!)
Phoebe: "Oh no! Ninjas!! Whatever shall we do?!"
(Awesome fight scene ensues.)
Pedro: "Oh no! They want to blow the place up and steal my secret ninja scroll for some reason!!"
(Both proceed to jump out a window in slow motion before the whole place blows the f up.)
Pedro: "Ah, man!! I just had two payments left!"
(Pedro chucks magic ninja scroll at hilarious British sidekick.)
Pedro: "Here, take this. Imma run back in real quick."
Phoebe: "Pedro, no!! You can't leave!! Who else is going to be the one to act up? Such a storm??"
Later:
(Phoebe sits on a rock and laments her predicament.)
"Man, my mentor and martial arts tutor and the only positive male role model I've had for six months and pretty much throughout my entire life has just got himself blown up by ninjas. This is the worst day ever!"
Secret Surprise Character: "Hey, I'm here to save you! I was fighting zombies in the desert for no reason and I have a sweetass motorcycle because I'm super cool! My bro told me to pick you up!! Let's go fight zombies!!"
Phoebe: "Well, bollocks."
(Oh, a zombies are here. But Phoebe and secret special character Paul kill them all.)
Paul: "I had to blow up my kickass motorcycle into a nearby petrol station to kill all the zombies and save us! Also I back flipped off the motorcycle because I'm awesome."
(Smoke cigarette like a badass while everything is ON FIRE. THIS IS METAL AS HELL YOU GUYS!!)
Phoebe: "Well, we're now stranded out in the desert with no kickass motorcycle. What's your plan now, Paul??"
Paul: (inexplicably now wearing sunglasses bc hes awesome.)
*snaps fingers and points above them*
"Helicopter."
(Phoebe looks up to see suddenly, helicopters!!)
(They both get on the helicopter sent by President Laurent.)
*Chugga chugga chugga chugga!!*
Meanwhile, in space on their way back down to Earth:
Britkunoichi92′s Daft Punk: Demon Slayers! The Movie! :D Intro.
So here’s the introduction of the fanfic I wrote, starring our bois Thomas, Guy-Man and Pharrell fighting aliens trying to take over the world. Also, Thomas and Guy-Man are technically cyborgs now with human suits who can fly because of invisible robot Chi powers and can shoot lighting out of their hands because Lighting Robot explosion powers. And Pharrell is the tech guy who can build robot dragon mech suits to fight evil robot dragons in space. Dibs btw. This is all my own work. Yes, I know I need therapy. Just let me have this.
The movie opens with Thomas and Guy-Man fighting a giant dragon with Pharrell Williams piloting another robot dragon they all built out of a box of scraps!
The dragon will of course be voiced by Pharrell Williams and/or Nile Rodgers. (If Will Smith isn't available.)
The two dragons, one an artificial robotic lifeform, and Pharrell William's own ship, which he had modified to be an almost exact duplicate, grappled fiercely in the upper atmosphere.
Inside his own giant robot dragon, Pharrell hastily mashed buttons as the other dragon threw him off and roared menacingly.
"Dammit!!" Pharrell muttered as he frantically tried to distract the monster from attacking him.
But luckily, he didn't have to, as Thomas suddenly fired a blast of lightning from his fist straight at the dragon. It hit and exploded off of the dragon's metal hide.
Successfully distracted, the dragon whipped its head around to glare over at Thomas with its glowing red eyes.
Thomas dodged out of the way as the robot dragon breathed a stream of fire at him.
Behind him, Guy-Man also dodged, the stream of fire barely missing him by inches. Undeterred, Guy-Man proceeded to light a cigarette off the spouting flames.
Clenching his fist determinedly, Thomas grinned to himself as he punched the dragon with his lighting powered fist.
The dragon screeched in rage, desperately trying to lunge and bite at Thomas, who nimbly dodged each time.
He fired another blast of orb lightning at the dragon, which exploded off its metal hide.
The dragon immediately burst out of the ash cloud, lunging straight for Thomas, its metal jaws gaping. It appeared completely unharmed by Thomas' attack.
Thomas grimaced in shock. "Uh-oh!!" He said to himself, trying to gain some more distance.
Gaining speed, Thomas flew upwards, desperately trying to gain enough distance to perform a defensive manoeuvre against his opponent.
But surprising for its size and what materials it was comprised of, the metal robot dragon easily kept pace with Thomas, almost gaining on him several times, even enough for its metal jaws to almost miss him by mere inches.
Thomas swooped and dived to get out of the way, but he knew at some point he would have to stop fleeing.
Luckily, Guy-Man suddenly leapt in between them, shielding Thomas for a moment.
As his partner looked on in shock, Guy-Man folded his arms and stared down at the giant metal robot dragon with something akin to boredom.
As the dragon screeched in his face and opened its fearsome jaws, Guy-Man sighed to himself, as though this whole battle was inconveniencing him.
The blast of air from the dragon's gaping maw caused his long hair to stream out behind him for a moment, before it tumbled back around his face, almost obscuring his vison entirely.
Guy-Man, however, continued to look bored by this display. Sighing to himself resignedly, he brought up his staff and twirled impressively between his hands for a moment, taking it off his shoulder.
Before he causally wedged his Bo staff into the dragon's jaws, holding them open.
(Because Guy-Man brought his Bo with him into space, for some reason. P.N x)
As the dragon thrashed frantically, trying to remove the Bo from its jaws, Guy-Man cupped his hands and gathered some of his energy between them, to form a glowing blue ball of lighting energy.
As soon as it was ready, Guy-Man smiled triumphantly to himself and raised his arm holding the glowing blue ball of lighting, formed from his own energy.
He held it aloft for all of them, including their dragon opponent, to see.
(Guy-Man waited patiently as the dragon before them finally managed to spit the Bo out of its mouth, causing it to drift off into the space beside them.)
It whipped its head up to glare over at the duo menacingly.
The orb of pure electricity glowed and sparked in his hands mesmerizingly, while Guy-Man played with it experimentally in his hands, tossing it up into the air a couple of times, as though it was a football or basketball of some kind.
The dragon whirled to face him, enraged, while Thomas looked on waiting impatiently.
He seemed to be bored with Guy-Man's display. He stood floating in mid space; his arms folded as he waited for Guy-Man to finish this.
The dragon, tiring of the duo's pretence, screeched angrily at them once again. Neither of the duo moved or seemed fazed by this.
Guy-Man finally took an indifferent glance at the dragon, and suddenly flung his orb of electricity straight down the robot dragon's throat. At the same time, he grabbed hold of his Bo and wrenched it out of the creature's jaws.
The orb immediately exploded inside the dragon’s stomach, sending plumes of smoke belching out of the dragon’s mouth and from gaps in its exhaust pipes.
The dragon gave one final screech as lines of molten magma erupted from its core, until finally the artificial creature exploded, its nuclear core finally collapsing.
(Then a nuclear explosion happens but they all survive because they're in space! The three of them defeat the dragon and start to fly back down to earth to see why the alien dragon attacked them.)
Thomas and Guy-Man landed back on the spaceship, in front of the pilot window, behind which Pharrell was piloting the controls.
Guy-Man paused to calmly light a cigarette and smoke it. "So, what do you reckon?" He asked Thomas finally, on their encounter with the alien robot dragon.
(Guy-Man can smoke a cigarette in space. Because fuck physics, that’s why.)
Guy-Man paused to glance over at his partner.
Thomas paused, thoughtfully placing a hand to his chin and gazing up into the stars above them.
Thomas turned around behind him to give a reassuring thumbs up to Pharrell, who returned the gesture and began flicking switches.
The door to the airlock slid open and Thomas and Guy-Man both entered the spaceship.
The decompression chamber hissed as the duo entered the cockpit, where Pharrell was seated, looking out of the window and checking the monitors.
"So, what are you guys gonna do?" Pharrell asked the duo as he started to input data into the ship computer.
Guy-Man seemed preoccupied with staring down at the planet from one of the ship’s windows.
Thomas smiled, standing confidently behind Pharrell as he watched the data stream onto the computer screens.
"We'd better head back for now. We've dealt with the threat. Let's see what else Laurent has in store for us."
Pharrell grinned back, also eager to get back to Earth. "Sure thing!!" He told the duo, as they both sat down and strapped themselves in.
Pharrell readied the rocket boosters and the warp drive.
Their robot dragon then transforms into a cool ass spaceship and they all fly back down to earth.
Meanwhile, Paul and Guy-Man's epic kung fu ninja robot biker brawl battle had devolved into a rather childish slapstick fight.
Paul, in the midst of pulling Guy-Man's hair while Guy-Man himself was busy shoving Paul's face away from him, both looked up curiously at Thomas' announcement.
"Huh?" Paul asked, slightly muffled by Guy-Man's hand on his face.
Guy-Man likewise did his best to turn his head without scalping himself in the process as the two looked over at Thomas' curiously.
Unnus Annus. Quick Fic Creepypasta Part 1 (1st Draft.)
Unnus Annus. Quick Fic Creepypasta Thing.
Yeah, I thought I’d go ahead and give this a go.
I just thought: Hey! Smile Dog Spread The Word but with Unnus Annus!! Pretty neat idea huh? 😉 No need to thank me. I’m just providing a service. And giving due respect to our lords and masters Mark and Ethan. You Will Join Us. All Will Be One. Unnus Annus. Memento Mori. Here we go!
Brief Synopsis: Mark and Ethan have tons of new content to show you! Unnus Annus. One Year. But what else do they have in store for you…? Have the duo unwittingly unleashed something… evil?
Just remember: Unnus. Annus. Memento Mori. All Will Be One. You Have Always Been The Caretaker...
(Play for full effect! Special thanks to KHALIBER Music for this awesome tribute song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgAjh-zQT6M&list=LLG49VJh6Qf02somHtNLi6Fw&index=1 Check them out!!)
Waking up on yet another sunny morning, the sun’s rays greeting you as you sit up, you smile happily.
You get up, get dressed and have breakfast.
Just as you begin to think how to plan your day, your phone dings, giving you a notification.
Curious and eager to see what it is, you open the Youtube app. It details a new video, from your favourite Youtubers, Markiplier and Crankgameplays.
You had heard about their new videos for a couple of weeks now. New content. New laughs. New excitement.
Egar to see what your heroes are up to, you play the video.
Both Mark and Ethan stand before a swirling black and white background. Ethan in black, Mark in white. They talk solemnly about their new channel.
“Unnus Annus. One Year.” Mark explains.
Rubbing your eyes to ease them from the strain of staring at that swirling black and white background for too long, you put away your phone and decided to go about your day.
Soon you have pushed the thoughts of new videos to the back of your mind. Still, you wait eagerly for the news over the next few days of more exciting content.
You don’t have long to wait as soon after, your phone dings again.
Confused, you pull your phone out of your pocket to stare at the screen again.
Another notification, simply reading: “UNNUS ANNUS.”
Intrigued, you open the video, excited at the thought of new content.
But this time, as you watch the video, you notice something… off.
Mark and Ethan are not there. Instead, the same swirling concentric black and white background, spiralling and twisting unceasingly. No Mark. No Ethan. No nothing. Just the swirling, mind numbing black and white backgrounds, looping incessantly over and over.
Confused, although still intrigued, you continue watching, waiting for Mark or Ethan to appear and talk about their new content. You glance down at the timestamp. The video isn’t that long. Was this some kind of glitch? Did Mark and Ethan post this by mistake without intending topmost it? You don’t know, but you continue to watch, hoping to catch another glimpse of your heroes.
But there is nothing. Only the swirling black and white backgrounds, twirling and looping in on itself incessantly. Staring at it for so long makes your eyes swim.
You blink to clear your vision, ready to tap away but… You wait. Just a little longer. Just to see. Just to know…
Eventually your eyes glaze over as you stare at the swirling black and white spirals.
You don’t want to tear your eyes away just yet. Just a few more seconds…
The spirals pull you in. You feel your mind starting to drift… Become blank… To know… nothing… Nothing at all… Just to sit. And stare. And wait…
To drift… deeper…
Suddenly, you jolt yourself back to awareness as you hear something: A slowed downed, distorted voice.
Is it Ethan’s? Mark’s? You strain your ears, alert now, trying to pick up what the voice is saying:
“We live our lives taking each second for granted… But what would you do if you had not much time left?” the voice murmured: soft, eerily distorted.
You recognise it at once. It’s Mark’s voice!
But the audio had been turned down so low, and Mark’s voice had been pitched so low… It sounded almost… Inhuman…
“And then.. it’s game over… Bye Bye… Finito… Finished… Curtains…” The voice murmurs, sending chills down your spine at that eerie, slowed down pitch.
“Long gone… Night Night… Dead… Forever…” The voice whispers, Mark’s rich warm voice turning cold and inhuman in that weird robotic tone.
The voice fades away for a few moments, leaving you feeling shocked, surprised, and… scared? Nervous?
Why would this make you nervous? You think frantically to yourself. Why would Mark post this? And where was Ethan in this video? Is this some kind of prank they were pulling on the fans?
But just as you think this, you suddenly hear another voice: Ethan!
“So the clock starts now… Will you join us?” Ethan’s voice suddenly announced, also sounding artificially pitched and distorted, nothing like his usual upbeat cheerfulness.
“Or will you miss out on your one… chance…?” Mark’s distorted voice asked, almost gently.
“Time… Is already running out…” Ethan chimed in.
“Unnus! Annus! Unnus! Annus!” Both voices chanted together, blurring into one, sounding utterly inhuman and demonic, sounding nothing like either Mark or Ethan.
You’d heard enough. Cold sweat beading on your brow, you switch off your phone and fling it away from you across your bed.
Only now you realise you have been breathing hard, your heart pounding in your chest. What WAS that video? That was nothing like the official one the duo had posted this morning…
Trying to calm your racing heart and thoughts, you try to calm yourself. A prank. That was it. Someone was pranking the fanbase by posting their own weird video to snag Mark and Ethan’s fans.
As you tried to calm yourself down, you started as your phone dinged again. Another notification.
Hesitantly, you reach for your phone, switching the screen back on again.
Another video post, titled: “WILL YOU JOIN US?”
There was no icon. Not Mark’s, not Ethan’s. Completely blank.
You swallow nervously. Was this still the same prank? Why were you getting these notifications?
Nervously, you tapped the icon, opening the video. Waiting to see what this was.
Again, the video opened with the same concentric swirls, trying to draw you in the more you stared at them.
Keeping your gaze focused, you waited.
Finally, the voice came again. “Will you join us…?” the voice, again, a horrendous parody of Mark’s whispered.
“Join us…” the second voice Ethan’s, murmured.
“Join us… Join us… Join us… Join us… Join us…”
Gradually, the words began to swirl into each other, like the spirals, merging and blending into each other, until they were nothing but white noise.
Still the spirals danced enticingly, daring you to stare deeper into their depths. To ensnare you in their seditious web of insidiousness.
But you kept your gaze fixed squarely on the top of the screen, trying desperately not to look at the spirals. Something was very wrong here.
Finally, the video ended with one last: “Unnus! Annus!” chant and stopped.
At the very last second of the video, you catch a glimpse of two words: “Memento Mori.”
Shaken, you put down your phone. What was all this? What was happening? Was this real? A dream? A trick? A prank? It had to be a prank. It just HAD to be!
Finally deciding to get some sleep, you switch off your phone and get into bed, pulling the covers over yourself. Maybe you’ll find out more in the morning.
Context: The Daft Duo, along with Pharrell, Paul and their hilariously accented sidekick have to save the world from evil aliens and French President Laurent Brancowitz.
Paul is best uncle ever and Phoebe is a badass ninja that stabs things in the face. She has to train in order to reach Super Saiyan or something and Paul treats her like a niece. Its adorable and I need this. But yeah. First draft. I kind of like it. Enjoy! :D
