#alpha cpucs

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Alpha: You can’t set all your problems on fire.

Ness: You’d be surprised about how many things are flammable!

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Jo: Cheese is just a loaf of milk.

Alpha: He’s right and I’m scared.

Major: This implies a liquid form of bread?

Milon: Beer.

Major: FUCK

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Ness: Day five of being snowed in at the stadium. I’m singing Rick Astley every hour to try and raise team spirit. I think it’s working.

Alpha: When you die I’ll play jenga with your bones.

Ness: See? We’re all like a big family at this point.

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Jo: Do I like you or do I like that you like me?

Alpha: Do I like you or do I like the idea of you?

Milon: Are you flirting with me, or can I just not recognize when people are being nice to me?

Major: Is anyone gonna eat this taco or should I just believe they aren’t?

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Major: I’m a moderate and peaceful man, truth be told.

Alpha: Just yesterday you threw a chair at Naomi.

Major: Yes, which was a moderate and peaceful compromise from the table I was initially going to launch at that bitch.

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Alpha: Major, can you please pass the salt

Major: *throws Ness across the table*

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

[After Tony “dies” in everest]

Dark Vince: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I'm so happy right now, I might not even slaughter you all!

Alpha: R-Really?

Dark Vince: *laughter dies down* Oh, no. You are all thoroughly screwed.

[incorrectcpucsquotes]

Alpha: Ness, you've essentially burned your room down at this point, when are you going to-

[Ness' room catches fire]

Alpha: Okay, now you HAVE burned your room down. How are you still alive?

Ness: I have no idea!